My ex stayed in contact with his ex during our marriage and now wants to get back together: Advice?

He was most likely with his ex the whole time and/or wanted her. When you guys divorced he most likely tried to pursue a relationship with her, realized it wasn’t what he had envisioned and started to miss you and decide to come back. He felt the grass was greener on the other side so let him enjoy that grass. Dont take him back. He is only wanting you now because it didn’t workout with his ex, bottom line. I’m sorry if I’m harsh but I know people who were in similar situations. Stand your ground even though you may love this man still. The pain will ease over time. Focus on yourself, love yourself, build yourself up. I promise you will find a man who appreciates you, loves you and only desires you. Stay strong. :heart:


Nope, it will always be a burden. Speaking from 15 years of experience.

1 Like

I can imagine what you are going thru. Think hard on this. You obviously still have feelings for him. Is he what is best for you or are you just settling for what you know. Make him work for your love

Sounds like he wanted his cake and to eat it to. And then when you left she didn’t want him either so now hes trying to get you back. You divorced him for a reason leave him in the past

1 Like

Having to ask others that question I think you know the answer


He should have done that when he was married to you to keep you. Not wait until he realized she’s not what he thought was better. Nope leave him in the rear view mirror and keep on driving.


So in other word you are the second choice thereby you are second best to him… He couldn’t get her back or she didn’t want to be serious so now you’re good enough…

My thought, let him be… You live your life and let him live his life…

1 Like

You’re gut tells you no, you just want to be loved, most everyone does its human nature. But he will suck you emotionally dry if you continue with his secret keeping lying ass :heart:move on in faith and patience that God will bring you something better if you keep that door closed for good. Wait girl please just rest for a minute and catch your breath :heart:

Nope. Walk away with your head high lovely.

1 Like

Nope.Move on you will always be second.

The real question is ? Is it what God wants you to do in everything should be prayed about a d alone with what God has called for. I have seen where divorced couples get back together remarry and was happy through the Lord Amen. But as I sont know the whole story from both sides realy the one that does not all is God through his son be led by the holy spirit


I will say this to you.when your married there are certain boundarys …some people can handle ex’s remaining friends and some can’t. HOWEVER…if 1 chooses to stray from what they have to go backwards in life to something that was once to something that’s better to go backwards again and obviously was rejected id say helllllllllll to the NOOOOOOO do not take his ass back.DO NOT SET YOURSELF SHORT OF HAPPINESS.IF YOU DO YOUR ALWAYS GONNA HAVE STUFF GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD.Is that ginna be worth it??? Heck noooooooo.

Sounds like he probably gave it a shot with her, and now is coming back to you when he realized it’s not what he thought it would be. I personally couldn’t deal with that, but I’m not you and at the end of the day you have to be okay with whatever decisions you make with your life. Good luck.


You got played . P

Nope dont do it…

I wouldn’t… seems like he couldn’t win the ex back so you’re the second option


Big fat No I be saying

NOPE. if they’re talking in “secret” that no one can even say hey so and so told me whatever… just stay out.

He wants to get back together and cut off his ex meaning she already cut him off probably :woman_shrugging:t3:


Nope i would not have him back he will do it again will sleep with her again or someone else

If you even have to ask… the answer is no

1 Like

I feel like there’s too much of the story missing for anyone to be giving advice. :woman_facepalming:t4: But by all means, let’s all jump on the judgy bandwagon and talk shit about this dude and assume that we know all the facts. :joy::joy:

Hell to the no find a new better man life if to short to deal with bullshit rise up girl

Only if you really want to, I mean you got divorced for a reason right?

No there’s a pattern here. He needs a lot of female attention. He’s never going to change. Time to move on I’m afraid x

Sounds like he has a thing for ex’s

1 Like

Nooooooooooooooo you divorced for a reason

No don’t take him back

Go with your gut. Do you trust him? Would you be happy or constantly have doubts in the back of your mind? Has he said why the sudden stopping of contact? If there are any doubts, or lack of trust, it wouldn’t work. You have to be fully on board to try again for it to have any chance of working out. You don’t sound confident that it’d be the right thing to do. Maybe tell him you are willing to have a go but only if you both go to couples counselling to get to the root of insecurities and doubts?

Not until after you have some flings too.

Nope, run in the opposite direction, fast!

1 Like

Looks like he got a thing for ‘exes’ :woman_shrugging:

So, exes can definitely just be friends after breaking up. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as its just friendship of course. I don’t think he’s good friends with any of them but my husband still is in contact with some of his exes apparently. Not many, but a few. It’s such infrequent contact that I don’t know them really Haha and I don’t care to. They’re not a threat.

However… it sounds like he talked to her more secretly, which is really suspicious. I’m not sure what you mean by “He saw her”… Do you know for sure they slept together or something? Did they just hang out?

If they’re good friends, he could have just gone to vent and talk to her.

The situation feels a little odd… If you have concerns and you don’t trust him, you shouldn’t let him back in - You shouldn’t be in a serious relationship with someone you can’t trust, not unless that trust can be repaired (ie:Choosing to stay with someone after they’ve cheated because you know you can forgive them and get that trust back after they prove themselves again).

If you do trust him and you choose to still love him, you need to have a very serious conversation about expectations. It needs to be clear what both of you want, and you may have to compromise to get to a place where you’re both happy. He could just “sacrifice” it all and cut ties with her for you. But he may not. That’s why there needs to be completely honest communication first.

If either of you doesn’t follow and respect the boundaries you lay out, then your marriage will continue to struggle and fail again.

1 Like

It’s only been three months, though not sure how long you were separated before the divorce. Give it a year and then see how you both feel. Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too.


No you divorced for a reason

Absolutely not. If he did it once he’ll do it again

1 Like

Sounds like He’s wanting to Enjoy… both sides of the road

1 Like

Nope find a better man sweetie. Flex big on him. If he truly loved you, he wouldn’t have let ANY of that happen. He wouldn’t have got with his ex RIGHT after you broke up AND he wouldn’t have left you in the first place. I am begging you sweetheart, RUN FOR THOSE HILLS AND FIND YO’SELF A BETTER MAN WHO WILL NOT PUT U THRU ANY OF THAT AND WILL TREAT U BETTER. do NOT go back to that toxic motherfucker!

No I’ve been down that road with talking to the ex. It doesn’t stop they don’t really let them go. Mine cheated with his ex several times.

No please be strong don’t lower yourself build yourself up re focus

Looks like things didn’t work out for him and now he wants to come back - byee.

1 Like

No dont be anybodys second best.


He lied…or kept things from you…same thing. Anyone that can lie to their partner like that is a piece of sh!t. If he was a decent person and really loves you he wouldn’t be treating you like this. Went back to his ex then decided he wants you back. Sounds like she dumped his sorry ass too. Never give a man that many opportunities to lie to you and use you. Personally I’d be gone after the first lie. Cheaters and liars rarely change.

Why do you feel the need to let him control you?

1 Like

He left once he can easily do it again!
Enjoy your life, love!!!

1 Like

No hun go find yourself a new man xxx

1 Like

You were his 2nd choice. He told you he would no longer talk to his ex-wife. You ever think maybe she won’t talk to him run run as fast as you can


Nope. Someone like that will always find someone to talk. You will never br put you 1st

He’s an immature and indecisive man. He can’t be hopping back and forth. He can give you all kinds of sexually transmitted diseases. Dump him.

1 Like

Nope. You divorced for a reason…move forward xx

No sweetheart keep moving on…never be anyone’s 2nd choice…fuck him

No don’t do it, never be second best my now ex-husband cheated on me with his high school girl friend, I stayed with him after the affair way longer than I should have I left over a year ago never looked back I’m now way happier with someone new that a 1000 times better. I feel like a idiot for staying as long as I did.


And thats all I have to say about that. :no_good_woman::pouting_woman:

You were the second choice. Run.

1 Like

Nope he chose her over you better be with someone who wants to be with you than anyone else


Nope. He chose her over you and now it sounds like she chose someone else over him and he thinks you’re just the backup and will gladly take him back with open arms. Then what happens a day, a week, or months later when she wants him back? He’ll probably leave you all over again for her.


I wouldn’t go back to him. He chose you second.

Honestly no i wouldn’t go with him why because he knows when it doesn’t go right at another relationship he will go back to you.

No way!!! You deserve better!!!

Nope leave him. The same things that broke them then broke them now. He just wants a soft place to land. Let him go. No respect for you at all.

1 Like

No he went to her thinking the grass was greener & then realized it wasn’t so he’s decided to come back but once he finds another woman to do that with he’s going to do the same thing to you. Once your second your always going to be second

1 Like

No please don’t, your mad if you do hun, he hurt you again hun, he doesn’t know what he wants, he’s to close to his ex hun, they always be on and off, move on and find someone who cares about you hun, best of luck to you :sparkling_heart:

Nope he will do it again more then likely

Nope! You deserve better!

If he did it once he will do it again . Save the time and energy you will waste on him and invest it in yourself instead. You are worth more than being treated as a second choice


So he realised the grass really isn’t greener on the other side! It would be a solid nope from me

Do you really need all the doubts running thru your mind constantly? Move on be happy.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior

1 Like

No move on an be happy he will do it again

1 Like

No! Fool me once, shame on u. Fool me twice, shame on me!!!


You already said bye bye … move on honey he’s playing you.


Unless you want to go through with it again! Nooooo leave his ass.

No. Let him be with the OG.

Definitely not let him fuck right off and go back to the ex

Why did you divorce? Did he ask for it or did you? If you are the same reasons you wanted it still valid?

1 Like

Run, cause it’s never going to change. Dont go back, you deserve better.


Absolutely not. Breakups are hard but it’s easier to miss them and not be with them and stress out about it and have some resentment.

1 Like

Unfortunately i don’t think anything will change with him and the scenario. Do him and the ex have kids together? I think that ex will always be somewhere in his life.
If you trust him, and know that he won’t hurt you then i say proceed. But all in all do what makes YOU happy.

1 Like

Nope…sounds like 2nd choice

1 Like

Omfg no. My ex chose women over me constantly. But when we divorced suddenly it was “I only loved you, we can make it work” :face_vomiting::face_vomiting:
He even messaged me 2 weeks before I got remarried to try and get back together lmaoooo no thank you.

No. If he wanted to cut things off with her , he would have when you were together. It ain’t happening :no_good_woman:t2:

If he still wants his ex then let him , life is too short to stress over a man who doesn’t know your worth , u deserve better my dear

If you wanna be known as a pushover sure why not :joy:

What the hell are you talking about? No! Don’t keep breaking your own heart with some jackass who’s using both of you.

He’s trash. You don’t want trash in your home cause it belongs in a dumpster.

He’s messy.
Is he really worth the stress and drama?

Sounds like he only wants what he can’t have

Wow , You don’t give yourself any value. He is playing with your feelings. Respect your self.

1 Like

Never be second best to anyone in life.

She didn’t want him now he wants you. Forget about him. Move on.

1 Like

Nope - if he hid talking to her from you what else did he not tell you ?

If your sister, daughter, or best friend asked you the same question with the same scenario, what would you tell her?


She probably didn’t want him back either so he came limping back to you. Heck no if I were you tell him to take a hike!

Would you take garbage out of a trash can? No… You wouldn’t. Don’t take this piece of trash back.

Omg yes :heart_eyes: ye are perfect :heart_eyes: you didn’t freak when he was talking to her :clap: ye had time apart :raised_hands: he knows what he wants which is you :heart: and you seem calm and want a push forward :blush: go get ur man and be happy :pray:


No…not just no hell no!!

You don’t know what to dooo! Knock knock! Is there anybody in there! Lol egad’

Nope, he’ll do it again

No, you better not!! He gonna do it again to you!! Don’t it legit screams no at you