I broke up with my ex over cheating when our daughter was 4m old. Fast forward she’s 3 we’ve been separated and he told me he wanted to introduce her to his gf I said yes if you think it’s time do it. I asked her name and he got weird and reluctantly told me her name. Turns out it’s the girl he cheated with. How do I get over the fact it’s her? I have moved on too and I’m not jealous of their relationship. But for some reason it stings that it’s her. I always thought we could have a cordial relationship with each others so at events and get along… but I cant. I saw her face on FT yesterday and I still got angry.
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She’ll be in line, mad at him right behind you soon enough. You dodged a bullet & she caught it for you. In the end no one wants to be cheated on so your feelings are totally relevant but if wasn’t her it was going to be someone else🤷🏻♀️ So long as she’s kind & respectful to your child(ren) then I say to let them meet
When in doubt take the high road, and in this case you have to let this play out, some day your daughter will ask difficult questions of them, and they (if still together) will have laid a lot of landmines to steer around
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My ex married his AP 
I just feel bad for her because I think if he’ll cheat on me he’ll cheat on her too.
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That will continue to happen just don’t let it get the best of you maybe you deserved someone way better than him etc who knows she may love and accept your child and treat her as her own if that makes sense. Just because he cheated and no I’m not saying it wasnt wrong means she’d be a bad person to be around her etc maybe ask to be present during it to make sure ur guys daughter is comfortable etc
Therapy… that’s how you learn to really move on.
That’s a big thing to find out. Be the bigger person and try to show them you can be above it.
Unless one of them gets rude with you. Then emotionally destroy them both.
If you have moved on and is now in a stable loving relationship let it go, you wearnt’ for him or he for you your current partners may be who ye were supposed to be with.
If he is still with the woman he cheated with that seems like a pretty solid long term relationship. I do understand the hurt but your daughter deserves a relationship with her father and to be included in all parts of his life. The GF is part of his life imagine having a long term relationship and him telling you his daughter cant be around your BF for what ever reason. How difficult would it be to juggle a relationship with the BF and your relationship with your daughter who lives with you (I assume) and keeping them separated at all times. Pretty unrealistic really. I know it hurts but in this situation you gotta think about your daughters needs first.
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They will cheat on one another… that their problem though… be glad it happened and you got him out of your live allowing you to have a happy live… yes it will hurt but she did not cheat on you he did that anger should be on him…
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What i learned is an abuser will abuse another , a cheater will cheat on the next. Not saying you dont worry or hurt… but just be glad you escaped. I see a counselour and that helps me get my ex negative labels of me out of my head.
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Honestly if possible I would go to therapy. Im sure its gotta be rough, and he didn’t go about it properly by cheating on you, but this may be the right person for him. Which you now have a chance to find your right person. If you can get passed it, it will be good for your child. I mean you have every right to be upset and hurt. Overall its messed up. But sometimes you have to work through hurt and emotion before you’re ready for the sake of your child.
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That sounds perfectly natural. Do you have someone you can talk to like a spiritual advisor or therapist? Maybe they can help you process your feelings and move forward.
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It’s him you should be mad at not her…you don’t know what she was told. She could of been under the impression your relationship already. If this happened when your child was 4 months old and is now 3, then this isn’t just a fling. It’s something more at this point. Do what is best for your child. Even if it hurts you some. You got this.
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You know , they both cheated . They deserve each. Other. But your daughter needs to have her dad ttoo. and even though they made your life miserable, you have both moved on , it’s your job to work together as parents , to do what’s best for your child, it’s in the past . Let it go. Forgiveness is for you not them, at the very least , you should tolerate each other, and be nice , for the child’s sake, if he cheated on you with her, eventually he will cheat on her. Be lucky your away from him
Just sleep with his brother. It won’t undo things but what’s a little pay back haha
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This is a you problem. He and she are cheaters and they hurt you. That was wrong. I understand your feeling that she doesn’t deserve a relationship with your daughter. But he is her dad and it is very important she have a relationship with her dad. If the gf is gonna be in her life, it’s best to get along and help your daughter adjust. She knows who her momma is.
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Start dating the woman’s dad, then you can be HER step mom 
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Grow up, get over it, first your not over him, you have not moved on. GO TO COURT, GET CHILD SUPPORT AND VISITATION SET LEGALLY. THEN HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS. (He’ll probably cheat on her too) PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON, GET ER DONE!!!
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It’s a f no from me. Respect boundaries or you have nothing. I don’t need people with no morals around my child. He can see his daughter on his time, without the hussy.
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Honestly, that would be rough. I would ask that she doesn’t attend kid transfers until you can get yourself into a place where it’s not gonna piss you off. And work on that with therapy or whatever in the mean time.
That is your problem not your ex his girlfriend and more importantly your daughter, so not matter how you feel so not bring her to that situation. He has the right to introduce her , seems like they have a solid relationship by now , there’s not that you can do as long as she treats your daughter right .
But , she doesn’t have to go to your daughter events if her presence make you uncomfortable
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So let me guess you are still fuming over what happened 3 years ago. Except you was not the one.
You’re not over it and you haven’t moved on
She’s part of his life and will be part of your daughter’s seeing how they’ve been together for 3 years already
Being hurt by the past doesn’t mean you can’t be cordial with either of them
Rise above the pettiness for your daughter
It’s about her not you
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Here’s the thing. When you are done and move on you don’t get to say who your ex sees or introduces your child to.
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I had to deal with the same issue. My ex started getting our 2 kids and he is with the girl he cheated on me with. It took a really long time to get over. If you have moved on, you need to accept it. She may be an amazing person and one that you yourself could like.
3 years. Time to heal wounds.
You might find out you like her more then him lol . Who knows 
. I’m sorry that happened to you . Its not her though . Its most definitely him . But in a mature way you have to allow him to see her . Or he can take you to court and get to anyways . Once again I’m sorry .
This is tricky, and I completely understand how you’re feeling towards the other woman. A few things to note,
You’re feelings are valid! You are allowed to feel everything you’re feeling!
If she knew he was in a relationship then you have every right to be mad at her as-well as him.
Not going to lie I would be having a conversation with her and you alone, about her intentions towards your daughter, and letting her know that you are still very much hurt by their actions but you do want to try and have the best relationship with both for the benefit of you’re daughter. I would maybe just be like it’s going to be hard for me at first but maybe we can start with coffee you and I, then include daughter once you’re feeling you can be civil in front of her 
it might take a week, it might take a year, who knows, only you’re heart does because you need to heal from you’re hurt while working out things with them.
This can go so many ways and only time will tell which way, but if dads in her life a lot, and not just a weekend here and there dad, I would try and put my feelings to rest for daughter.
Remember, you’re allowed to feel how you’re feeling 
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Thank her for helping you let go of him? Because if your not grateful now, you’ll never will be? You deserve better
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Well, it’s human to be angry. She and your ex broke up your family. But, for your kids benefit, move past it. You don’t have to like her, you don’t have to be friends with her. You have to coparent with your ex. She doesn’t even need to he apart of it since it’s not her kid.
BUT if you actally care for your kid and their wellbeing… I’d set out some boundaries with her after talking about them with your ex. And let her be a part of your kids life. She’s been with him for 3 years now…
Little harder when she was your best friend for the 8+ years you were with him kids called her Auntie I was 12 weeks pregnant with our 4rth oh this world.
That’s absolutely normal to feel that way. She was a game player in a really shitty game. 
I do give him credit but it’s been this long and she has not met your daughter yet. Definitely respect that and that he approached you first to talk about it all.
Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do unless she’s a proven safety issue, so just embrace it as hard as that is and make sure she treats your daughter right
My ex cheated, and I ended up liking her more than him for a little while. He cheats on her so life will handle itself.
So you haven’t actually moved on?
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Therapy. Individual and family therapy. This is a tricky one, and your daughter will pick up on the emotional side of it even though she can’t explain why or what it is.
You are allowed to have your feelings. If it makes you mad, it makes you mad.
I’d suggest working on it only because, if seeing her face makes you mad you still have unresolved feelings and trauma that needs to be addressed for YOU and your own mental health.
However, you are not together and have moved on so you don’t get a say in who he dates or brings around your child. It’s commendable that he even discussed it with you. Continuing to co-parent with the child’s best interests at heart and putting your personal feelings aside is always best.
It has nothing to do with the child…While yes cheating is wrong af, it doesn’t have to do with being a good parent or not… you say you’re not jealous but that’s exactly what you are…it’s normal to feel hurt but don’t let it affect his relationship with his child…this is a you problem that you have to get over. Try therapy. You are the only one that can solve that issue.
If it stings you have not moved on.
You guys weren’t meant to be together but you can be together as Co parents that support eachothers lives to live. He found love that maybe he was meant to be with and sure it sucks he cheated on you abd a series of negative events happened to get you all to your now happiness… but if you’re happy, he’s happy ? Your kid is happy what more could a mom ask for. She though could offer you some respect and apologize to you for thr hurtful events that she was apart of and ask for forgiveness and a level new start in getting to all know eachother and raising the child happily in a non toxic friendship family. Or you can maybe do that for them by sitting them down with your partner also. Shake hands and do right by your kid.
My ex is now married to the girl he cheated on me with my entire pregnancy. It stings. It sucks. But she loves our son so much, and treats him no different than we do. So I put my feelings and pride aside.
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You dodged a bullet!! Be happy someone else is stuck with him! And as long as she can pass a back ground check, she can be around the babe… he’ll cheat on her, eventually. So idk if I would let her meet my child either… past events show, she may not be a permanent person in her life.
I think somewhere in your mind you had moved on, but realizing his girlfriend is the one he actually cheated on you with brought up those old emotions forgive her and forgive him and move on. It’s not gonna be easy to do but you do not need all that bitterness inside.  forgive them for yourself. Trust me it will make things a lot easier.  if he is a great dad definitely set those emotions aside it’s hard but I know you can do it. 
My ex married his other woman. At first it stung because of my own emotions on the relationship not lasting. When it is him time to have your daughter, it is just that, his time. I completely understand how you feel, and you are valid with it stinging because it’s her. I think what had me hung up was because of the fact that he married the person who helped cause the relationship to end. Now things are better and we now have a friendship. I think it’s actually nice he waited that time to introduce your daughter to his gf. I was angry at both of them for quite some time because she knew he was with me. It is possible to forgive. You just need to be kind to yourself and understand that you have moved on and so has he. You got this!
Mistakes were made and now you are in a different relationship and so is he . Don’t corrupt your daughter becuase of something he did that doesn’t matter anymore
I’m sorry, that’s really hard, however, even though he cheated, he is now the gf, seems like they have been together a while? It’s ok to feel the way you feel, just don’t let it affect the father/daughter relationship, as that has nothing to do with it.
If he has chosen to be with her and it’s been 3 years then it’s time to put it in the past . You don’t have to like her , you don’t have to associate with her just be civil if you happen to be anywhere at the same time .Remember he was the one who cheated , don’t let you feelings towards what happened effect your child and their dad . Horrible as you may feel , if she is good with your child that is the main thing .
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Sounds like you also need to be mad at him. It’s not just her fault.
Its called being an adult for your kid & putting her first
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Big no no she ruined your relationship, not a chance she’d be playing step mum!
Dads time dad will dictate who the child is around & on your time you make those calls. The courts will tell you the same thing. If you’ve moved on & it still stings I would say look into some therapy for yourself but if he’s still with this woman 3yrs later I’d say that’s a pretty solid relationship your gonna have a hard time proving isn’t fit ( Unless there’s danger to the child ) to be around your child.
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She didn’t betray you he did
Atleast he asked you and is trying to coparent and respect you…
I can’t really help my son’s "dad"s girlfriend still hates me and it’s been ten years. I would just let go and let them be introduced as long as you and dad have a decent relationship don’t worry about the gf
Do what I did and have it written into custody agreements that this wh*re is never allowed around your child I got that written into mine AND he’s not allowed to have any women stay the night when he has our daughter unless they’re married 
you not about to be playing house with my baby. I also would warn him that if she tries to parent or discipline my child in any way, her face will become realllll good friends with the concrete 
Mine married the cheating woman but I got relief when I caught her cheating on him the night before there weeding No I never told him and I told her her secret was safe with me lol 3 Yeats later he was getting divorced from her thats when I told him what I knew ps she was giving a bj to the best man at the wedding in a bar WWE both were in I opened the ladies room door and there they were shocked to see me I said our secret lol