My ex will not give me our son back

I have been allowing my sons father visitation with him. We were alternating back and forth every 2 days, he would have him 2 nights, then I would have him 2 nights… I was supposed to get my son back from his father on February 8th, but he has been ignoring all of my calls and messages and is refusing to allow me to get my son back. He will not even tell me how my son is doing… He has no parental rights, we were never married, and he isn’t on the birth certificate. On the 11th, I was served with papers for his father to establish paternity. He wants joint custody, a normalized visitation schedule, and paternity to be established, which I am fine with… However clearly I am not fine with my son being kept from me. I have contacted the local sheriffs department, state police, DHS, and literally anyone who I thought may be able to help me, but everyone keeps telling me to get an attorney… I am not understanding why I need an attorney in order to get my child back from his father when he has no legal rights. My son has never been away from me for more than 2 days at a time, when he was with his father… I miss him so much that I feel like my heart cant take it any longer… He is a mommas boy, and I know he is missing his momma and wondering where I am at, and that hurts me the most… I have been told that this is considered kidnapping, but when I went to file kidnapping charges at the local sheriffs department the deputy on duty looked at me like I was ignorant and told me to fill out an Affidavit. I just wanted to get some advice from an outsiders point of view to see if maybe this is something that I am missing that I can do to get my child back asap… His birthday is the 21st, and I can not miss his birthday…

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Most police will not help and will tell you to take it up in court since it is a domestic dispute. Sometimes you get lucky and get an officer willing to help but most won’t.
That is absolutely kidnapping and I urge you to call the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children at 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678). Please call immediately! They helped me and got the FBI involved when my ex took my daughter to a foreign country.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My ex will not give me our son back

Honestly if he isn’t on the birth certificate you can call the police again and say that his father kidnapped him and he’s does not have any custody arrangement and isn’t on the birth certificate.

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Show up with the damn police!!

It depends on the state. In many states, there is what is called the presumed father. If he has taken the fatherly role and claimed him as his son, then he meets that category, and will be the presumed father until proven otherwise…also known as “putative father”

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He’s not on his birth certificate so technically thats kidnapping

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Police won’t touch it! Have to go to family court! It sucks!

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Not kidnapping. He’s the dad. This is the thing about being “unmarried” whoever can keep the child until court! Get in court asap

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Why do y’all keep having babies and NOT getting court orders? :woman_facepalming:
Sadly, you need a lawyer. Now.
You can file for kidnapping and custodial interference but it’ll depend on your state. State laws vary when couples aren’t married and the father isn’t on the birth certificate.

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This is kidnapping. Paternity has not been established yet. Call the cops

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He can keep him if you have nothing in place stating that you are primary parent…you have to wait to go to court :weary:

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If there is legal custody established then what he is doing is not wrong he has every right just as you do being that you are verbally establishing he is his father sorry you are going thru this but yes get an attorney

Get an attorney ASAP!

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Go to the Prosecutor Attorney and tell them your situation!

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I would go to his house and get him. There’s nothing the police could do if you did. You have all custody and rights to your child so he’s technically kidnapping him

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Go to his house and take him back if you can’t get the police involved neither can he.

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that is kidnapping . go file kid napping and custody interference .

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Yall, she’s called the cops already…

You need to file for emergency custody at your local court house.

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If you find out where he is leaving him while he is at work you can take cops and pick child up. No custody agreement so u have every right to him. Once u do that do not let him go back till you have an agreement.

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You have to go to family court. Police will tell you the same. Call an attorney

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How old is the child? If he is not on the birth certificate he has no legal rights. Keep going down there, raise hell!

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Time to knock on that motherfuckers door……

Go to his house and take your son back :thinking:

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I’m missing something, regardless of custody not being established… can he not get charged with kidnapping since he’s not on the birth certificate??? This is insane and I’d be sleeping in my car outside of his house. No effin way

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Sadly, if there’s not a custody arrangement, he does not have to give him back.

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If he is not on the birth certificate then that is kidnapping. He has zero rights!

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If there is not a father on the birth certificate, you have 100% rights .

If he’s not on the birth certificate he has no rights!! Wtf where do you live

Someone pm me please have personal experience with this

It’s not kidnapping if you admitted that he is the father even without a paternity test. You need to file for emergency custody.

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If there’s no order in place about visitation and he for sure knows he’s the father unfortunately he can keep him away from you, same as you. If you can find any way to get your son back technically you wouldn’t be committing a crime.
But most importantly get an attorney asap, is the only way you’ll make sure you are not being left out, bc it sounds like the father has plans

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In the state of TN the father has no rights until established through court or marriage even if they signed the birth certificate. In this situation it would be kidnapping and the cops can go get him. This happened to my younger siblings. My mom had the cops go get them.

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If he were on birth certificate right now he would be considered to have full custody. However, if he is not on the certificate it is 100% kidnapping. Find the laws, bring it to police. Demand their help.

Tell them you think your sons life is in danger…

You need to go to your local family court and file emergency custody papers. There is literally nothing anyone can do. I’ve been through this personally. We did end up getting a lawyer, the sheriff’s broke down the door, but none of that would’ve happened until we went to file papers.

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Get an attorney and file an ex parte. It costs about $3000 but they will do an order so that you can get your baby back until the court date.

If he is not on the birth certificate, he has no legal rights to the child. Essentially it is kidnapping. Report your child missing. If the the man is not responding to calls or messages and you have no contact then your child is missing!

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You need to get an order from the courts, that’s why you’re hitting brick walls. Currently the law sees both of you as equal parents so you have to establish - legally - that you’re the custodial parent.

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Show up and let him call the cops on you. Then you be as calm as possible and let him look like a fool. You can also ge the police dept to do a welfare check on your son. If something suspicious is going on they will call you to come get him. I did a welfare check on my kid, dad was drunk, they called me to come get my son and dad was belligerent toward the cops so they took him to jail.

It’s not kidnapping if there is no custody order (at least in my state ) . And bc it’s a civil matter , there really isn’t anything that the police can do. I suggest going to the courthouse and filing for emergency custody

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If he’s not on the birth certificate yet then the police should be helping you get your son back, technically that is kidnapping. Also, get an attorney asap, don’t question it, just do it before it gets real messy.

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I would go to his house and have the cops meet you there.

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I just went through this. The first hearing, do not just agree he is the dad. Make him prove it with a test. You will get him back that day. If you sign and agree he is the dad, he will keep him. And you will spend years and thousands to get him back…it is not kidnapping with no established parenting plan etc even if he’s not on the birth certificate

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Different when dad’s keep their kids away from their moms :woozy_face:
It was going fine till it wasn’t there must be reasons behind this and we will never get the full story either

Best advice and get a solicitor

The police surely would of done welfare checks how many times you have rung and he is safe and telling dad or professionals that he doesn’t want to go back to mom
It’s hard and you definitely need a solicitor

Sure though it it was the other way round, no one would be questioning or sticking up for the dad

He’s not on the birth certificate. Show up at his house and call the police

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Call the law! Without established paternity. He has 0 rights! He’s basically kidnapped your kid! The longer you wait, the more negligent you will look in court later. Call now!!

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Depending on the state you live in if he was at all said to be the father he has rights to my daughter just went through this your best bet is to go down and file for child custody obtain attorney you can file for custody yourself without an attorney but make sure you have one after

The day a child is born parents who are not married need to legally have custody arrangements… It is no more kidnapping if the mom withholds the child…

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Obviously something is off

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There is no custody agreement not sure what state you live in. Is his name on the birth certificate? If so that is why the police will not get involved. You need to contact an attorney asap and get the ball rolling to get your son back. And get an court order for visitations from here on out. I can’t speak on behalf of the dad why he did this to you as it seems you are being fair and letting him have a part of your child’s life. Also contact your local job and family services department and see if they can help you get him back. At least they can do a welfare check on your child. Best of luck with all of this.

Um that is kidnapping

He has no rights, since he’s not on the birth certificate

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So just file an affidavit.

He has kidnapped your son. You need to raise hell at the police station. Go to his house, tell the cops you need a well being check if they aren’t going to follow through with you literally saying you haven’t seen your son since the beginning of the month.

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This is kidnapping and might be dangerous. I would notify authorities.

This question isnt.to be. Mean but if he is the father why wasnt he on birth certificate?

I dealt with this. You need to file an allocation of parental responsibilities. You don’t necessarily need an attorney but it’s family court and it will take some time to get anything going. In your motion explain your situation because a judge does not take kindly to anyone keeping the kid from anyone. My ex had my son for 3 months. It was absolute hell. Now is the time to buckle down and be strong for that baby because everything will work out mama. You need to go through the court.

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Take the birth certificate to the police and say you want your kid back. However tbis is going to look terrible in court on him!

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What state are you in? I know a really food lawyer who works with her clients on what they can afford and will help u! Message me please

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call 911 and explain your son has been kidnapped.

Sadly this happened to me too with my daughter and my ex husband. A little different situation because he was on the birth certificate but at the time we had no actual custody papers in place. She lived with me and went to him every other weekend & we split holidays and whatnot for years before he went crazy one day and decided he was going to keep her after Christmas break and not give her back to me. So I had to pay for an attorney and file for ex parte custody/emergency custody. I’m not sure if you can do it on your own or if you need an attorney for this. You need to call the court house and find out. A lot of attorneys do payment plans but they usually need a large chunk of it up front. I paid thousands of dollars to file for emergency custody and to file for the regular custody paperwork because that also had to be put in place to prevent it from happening again. Good luck!

This should of never happened until you had court documented papers of custody and visitation arrangements.
I am sad for you but you need to get an attorney, TODAY!

The cops won’t do anything other than tell you to get an attorney.

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Get your kid and get an attorney ASAP. He is not on birth certificate. Kidnapping.

Umm… no the sheriffs office is not doing there job. I would ask for the chief if not ask for the guy above the chief if not then go above them.

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Get an attorney and file for custody immediately and beat him to it. Make sure you have documentation of him keeping your son away from you. Keep all texts, emails, phone logs, everything.

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Go to his school and get him

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Tell the police you suspect something has happened because he won’t let you see or talk to them. Tell them it’s now a missing person and in danger.

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In some states ik in Massachusetts if you let your child go with the father unfortunately this type of situation can happen and they can not make him give the child back. It su KS but Luke they said get a lawyer and fast and keep that lawyer handy. This imo is kidnapping but in the laws eyes in some places this is allowed to happen. I have been through it with my friend. She went with the baby as did I and a huge fogt ensued and we left without her son because he was his dad and we willingly went there. It’s ridiculous but sadly legal. He’s acting like a child, I’m so sorry hun.

You have to get an attorney this is a civil matter and law enforcement will not help.

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you don’t need an attorney you call the sheriffs department to get your son with birth certificate in hand proving he is not on the birth certificate. after you get him file for exparte custody with ALL EVIDENCE WRITTEN first file, don’t wait for it to be approved. and then go from there. with a protection order and make sure to give it to the school. you can get the experte custody papers online for your state.

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So my sister went through this but paternity and rights were already established we sat in front of his house for weeks till he left him with his wife while he went to work called the police and got him from her because she has no rights there isn’t any proof he is the father that should be kidnapping till everything is established

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Call the police, have them do a well check on thr child. Explain the situation.

File for emergency custody. You can do it yourself

Also if dad leaves him with anyone to go to work or anything you have full legal right to show up with the cops and take him back even if his name is on the BC with no custody agreement

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File an emergency protection order. I had to do the same thing when my ex took off with my daughter. I hope you get your baby back soon! Please file for emergency sole custody after you get her back also

Honestly contact the FBI they handle missing and exploited children. He has no rights so he is kidnapped happened to me

It’s likely that it has to be handled in family court. You can file an Ex-Parte ( emergency) hearing. If the child is in no immediate danger, then, it is what it is. Don’t listen to these people who are saying it’s kidnapping. At most it could be parental, alienation. The fact that you are admitting he’s the father, and that you’ve been willingly exchanging the child, means rights are presumed. You may have to wait until his hearing, because although you can file for an emergency hearing…if the child isn’t in immediate danger, or being subject to irreparable harm, they’ll deny it. Get a lawyer.

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Drive to his house and get your child. Hire an attorney. I would not allow him to see him again until there is something in writing from the court saying what the visitation schedule is.

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If yall didn’t have a custody agreement there is nothing the law can help with.

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I would be talking to a higher up and filing fit emergency custody. An order of protection might be an option to consider. Hugs and prayers for you.

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Chelsey Mason scary this xx

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File for emergency custody to make him have to be returned

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Idk where you from but in SC if this happens, you can take the law with you to get your child back because I done it with my ex! They can also be charged with kidnapping etc… idk about other states!

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You should be on the phone with a family attorney to find out what you can do before the emergency hearing. The arguments above are all valid. The STATE laws are what matter. An attorney is the ONLY person in this situation that can answer you properly. Also, they can tell you what to do as far as police are concerned.

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We have a Group called Legal Aide in our area. They are a group of attorneys that help people with legal issues at a much cheaper rate. Since hubby has already served papers to you, would be best for you to have an attorney to help you navigate the system and help you both establish custody in terms you both can Legally and Binding lice with as child seems to have two parents that Love him which is a great.

Go in the police station with his birth certificate. Tell the police he’s NOT legally the father. Even if your ex claims that your son is his- this is noncustodial parent kidnapping or parental kidnapping.

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i went through a similar situation where no rights were established and the father and i were not married. i contacted police and they told me if there was no court order, the mother is automatically granted full custody and you have every right to go and grab your child- the police should even accompany you. this was in vermont

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He has the same legal rights you do. He’s his father. He wants a legitimate agreement. Sounds like he wants you to establish that.

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He is the father he has rights. With out a court order who ever has the child has custody. Get a lawyer and file for custody. Get police inforcement on the agreement. That is the only way law enforcement can get involved. As he is the father they will not charge him for taking the child.

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You need an attorney not FB advise.

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A dad has the exact rights as moms and they are just as important as moms… Stop demonizing dads… If you have a child do it the right way… Get legal custody… Set up visitations…

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Consult with a real lawyer and not Facebook. I’ve unfortunately been through this… my sons bio dad is the same way. Best thing to do for you and your child is to get that attorney. Laws are different in every state and just because someone says it’s kidnapping…. Doesn’t mean it’s always true. My sons father screamed kidnapping after being gone for 8 years.

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I would not just be calling I would be at his door getting my child back

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Without a custody order he does have legal rights tho

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See if you can find a lawyer who would do it probono
File affidavit
File whatever you need
Kidnapping
Missing person
Whatever
Make a paper trail
Save texts
Voicemails
Anything you sent a
Anything you received.
Anything and everything
Get you ppl who will speak in your behalf
Who can vouch your story is true

God bless you
Wish you the best of luck
Praying you get your boy back sooner than later

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Bring birth certificate in to sheriff, they never wanna do anything unless they just can’t or you seem educated on your rights and force them. You’re not married, have no paternity test? There’s no proof your son is his technically.

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I have been in this situation with a court order and all u can do is go to courts tell them what’s going on u will need a court order for police to escort u to get him unless there is an order there is nothing u can do it’s crazy!!!

Forget your local police, call the FBI, “failure to release a child to its legal custodian alive and unharmed” constitutes felony kidnapping a class B felony, as of now your name is on his birth certificate, if he wants to change his legal status in the childs life he’s going about it very wrong

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If paternity is not done then go get your kid and call the cops. Do not allow anymore contact until the visitation and paternity is established.

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