My ex won't let me have my kids around my girlfriend: Advice?

So my current wife cheated on me on a dating website. I felt so ugly about myself and always thought no one would ever want me I was very unhappy in my marriage we have three children together I found another woman that cares and respects me my current wife will not let me have my children around my girlfriend because she’s with me is this childish she doesn’t know anything about her and told me my girlfriend uses people for money and breaks marriages but doesn’t know this person at all I moved on because I was not happy I stayed for my kids. My current wife won’t even let me take my own children out especially when she lives with my mother, and after I moved on she got my family against me no one knows she cheated on me first I need some advice


No real advise but I’ve. Been there with my son! It makes me so angry- the kids aren’t just one parent or the other’s. These girls have to much power. But my friend lived close enough that her ex and her just swooped week each week. There are a lot of peoples doing that as long as kids can stay in one school. Anyway very good luck to you and your kids.

Very sticky situation if you are still legally married there isnt a whole lot you can do you need to get with a lawyer and file for legal separation and get custody established also to make the transition easier for your children try to make it about the kids not the new gf my ex did this to me he didnt want me to move on but he could good luck with this

Contact an attorney find out your rights. In some states until a judge assigns custody either parent can get the kids.

Well tell your family she cheated on you and tell your ex if she doesn’t let you see your kids your taking her to court

Well your parenting time is your parenting time. You’re responsible to ensure they are safe and cared for, doesn’t matter who is around your kids during your time. I would recommend waiting until you know the new GF is long term forever type before introduce to the kids, but again that’s your decision as a parent. If she doesn’t like it take her to court

Sounds like you need a good lawyer… I’ve been in this situation… your “Ex” can’t tell you who your children can be around, she can try… but there is nothing in the law that states she is allowed to withhold the children just because she doesn’t like your ex. Now, if your current wife/girlfriend was court determined to be a threat, that would be different, but that’s a lot of “what if’s” so, sounds like you need to take your ex to court unfortunately… I wish you the very best of luck…


If she is truly an ex, there should be a shared parenting agreement, or custody arrangement. I don’t think parents should take their kids around every person they date, unless it is becoming a serious committed relationship. But once you are divorced, your time with your child is yours, so spend it wisely.


Take your life back … perhaps, your wife regrets her horrible choices. Time can be a real thief so think of your kiddos not this new gal. Listen to your wife… she may be right about your gf. You know best so figure it out for your children and family. Don’t make the same mistakes your wife did

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Do you have a judge morris clause in your divorce or custody papers? I have them in my and my kid is not to be around paramore overnights from hrs of 10pm to 7am and have to be married before we can live with someone. All my exes doing but hes the one getting married to woman 3 months after meeting and child has only met her 2x

Depending on how long this said gf has been in the picture, she has every reason not to allow the kids around her. Don’t be one of those parents who bring their kids around people they’re dating until it’s been awhile and you know it’s serious.

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Take her to court and get an order for joint custody. I get so tired of seeing the posts about “my ex won’t let me di this and that”! They are your children too and you have rights too! Your kids are worth fighting for, so do it!


So actually, one parent cannot tell the other who to have around their children. I’ve gone to court and that’s what they told me. Nobody has say over the other. I suggest to go to court and get it handled.

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If you are divorced and have joint custody or even visitation, she has no legal right to say who you can have your kids around. Its unfortunate in some cases but it is what it is. She would have to take you back to court and show cause as to why they cannot be around her.

Your ex is something else I’m the new wife and my husband’s ex won’t let the kids talk to him when their at her shack. I don’t even try to do anything with them but what their Dad does. And she makes them call him by his first name instead of Dad. She makes them call their step father Dad. What is she and why do exes act this way?


Even the courts will tell you not to have gf/bf around the kids while hashing out divorce and custody. Until that is over, you’re better off not bringing her around them.


Get legal advice and do everything the right way so you don’t loose the right to see your children. Probably shouldn’t make the wife mad enough to make things hard for you.


Get a court order and establish some parenting time. Since she cant be a grown up herself, let someone else make a grown up decision for her.

Take her to court for a visitation plan.She does not have the right to stop you from seeing your children or to be around your current girlfriend unless there is some legality to it, like the children are in danger.

Go to court and let them know she is holding your kids from you. Get visits to you! She has some damn nerve! I hate pepper that use children as pawns!!!

Look into the marriage builders program. They have a YouTube, an app, a website and several books on Audible. The husband is Willard F. Harley. Hope that helps!

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If it’s too soon then yes she has every right to tell you not to bring children around the new girlfriend. If you have been dating this new woman for about a year then no she can’t


Why do wife’s always get to say what goes on with the kids? They aren’t any wiser than a wise man!!!


Wait. Are you still married or not? If you’re still married then no i wouldn’t want my children in the drama of it all. If you want to see your kids, do it without the gf. Your kids should be your main focus. When they are with you, they should be the center of your attention. They shouldn’t have to compete for your attention during this difficult time. Divorce is stressful to kids as well and thats something you should be considering. Whats best for your kids at this particular time. The girlfriend can wait until after the divorce is final to meet your kids. Don’t be that selfish insensitive person that puts their kids feelings last. Kids need time to grieve and heal. A divorce is very hard on kids, its like a death to the family they know. All children want their parents to get along and stay together. Unfortunately, its not always possible but if they had a choice and everything was all roses they wouldchoose parents staying together. They didn’t ask for all this crap. And seeing a new person as in bf or gf only causes them more pain. So don’t contribute to it. Be the bigger person and think of your kids 1st.


I b.c. think your story needs some punctuation for better understanding of your situation…

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Take her to court. Its not right to keep your children from you. She’s an awful mother for doing that.


Why are people bashing this man for asking for advice? I’ve seen many people, including men, ask for advice and its given to them. Why is this man any different?

Take her to court she’s not allowed to tell you what to do anymore.

Ok just a question…is this page a Christian page?? Cause if it is and this is how you all respond then I will be removing myself

Probably not a GOOD idea to be taking you’re kids around a woman you’re Dating while you’re WIFE and kids are living with your Mom dude…js


Im confused how this is a post about a husband being a blessing


dose that oath b4 GOD mean nothing. gees.


Until you are legally divorced, no! you absolutely should not be bringing your children around your mistress. Your wife’s bad behavior does not mean you get to act unethically. A divorce is extremely traumatic to children, and while I realize sometimes it cannot be avoided, you still have to do what is in your children’s very best interest - even if you’ve been terribly hurt. Your wife is still currently your wife, and she will always be the mother of your children. It’s not about wether she’s a good wife to you…it’s viewing the whole situation through your children’s eyes and realizing how they will be affected. How do you want them to view you…their mom has already damaged herself in their eyes due to her transgression. Do you want the same? Also, divorce on a kids emotional plate is already an overfull plate. Please don’t add your mistress (sorry I keep referring to her this way, but if you’re still legally married, she’s not your “girlfriend”) to the stress/sadness/anger they are feeling. To be quite honest, I think divorced parents would do well to keep their boyfriends and girlfriends out of their kids lives for as long as realistically possible. Like, you shouldn’t even bring them into the picture until marriage is becoming a real conversation. Why? Because it’s not fair to bring multiple partners in and out of their kids lives. It’s unstable and in the best circumstances they get attached, only to have that person leave them if you break up. When you are a parent, every decision you make should take how it will affect your kids into account, and that should be the main driving force in your decision making process.


Advice? Ditch the girlfriend thou adulterer! You have a wife man up an move forward WITH your wife!

Go to court asap and get joint custody. And I would tell your family the truth about her cheating.

My husband is a blessing

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Yall were married or R married she cant stop u u have just as much right as her,oh tell ur parents the truth

Please divorce before moving on,

An attorney will tell you, unless your girlfriend can be proved to be a threat, your ex wife can’t do anything but rant and rave. Seek advice, most attorneys will do it for free.

She is doing this purely of guilty spite, control over you, or both. If your family ‘turned against you’ then taking that ‘higher road’ has burned your ass and I’d reconsider. Hi Ho Hi Ho its off to court you go. No way around it as you cannot reason with ignorance. IF she truly is who cheated and you really did nothing wrong, then you will have to threaten legal action but be ready to have your bluff called.

Go to court for visitation rights, she can’t make ger own laws

Get a divorce! Get parental rights your parenting time. Nothing she can do about it. Boom problem solved

No reason to have a wife your not with and a girlfriend on the side. :woman_shrugging:t2: so make it legal and get a divorce and get your parenting time on paper

Btw 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Ditch the gf till your stuff together


talk to kids and let people know she cheated

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Children are not a tool to use against each other. These women need to be thankful for you men that what to be dads and not just fathers. You have no clue the damage you women are doing. I left my ex husband 10 years ago with six young children in the house, he never spoke to any of the children we adopted together but he did the older children. It took years to show my children that tell were just as good as the other kids. If you want your children get a father’s right lawyer and put her in her place. She cheated, she needs to get over it and so does your family. My older daughters wouldn’t talk to me for 5 years, but I decided the punches weren’t worth staying around after 25 years it wasn’t going to change. Life is to short, I now have a husband that helped me raise my children and treats me like a queen. I can now say I know what true love feels like. Don’t let it pass you up

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Get a divorce and some type of custody. My exhusband decided he would move on with his life but I wasn’t supposed to. He had all sorts of women around my son. Our son was 5when he kicked us out for another woman and he was 6 when we got divorced. I met my current husband after my divorce was finalized and I’ve never been happier. My son decided not to have anything to do with his dad about 2 years ago because of a bunch of things. Don’t be that kind of dad. If you get your divorce and you and this woman are super serious or living together, then have your kids around her. Don’t have them around every girl you date. It’s not fair to them. Another thing, don’t ever bad mouth their mother, if she’s a bad mother, they’ll find out. If you bad mouth her, they’ll resent you, not her.

Well you better make up your mind on if you want your kids around other women cause kids wont want at all so you pick kids or you move on without your kids

get rid of the g/f. my child comes first. Js.

Not her decision & the courts will tell her that. She can’t control who you have your kids around unless of course they are sex offenders but I’m sure you’re smart enough to figure that out. If your still married she can’t keep the kids from you. Pick them up from school she can call the cops they’ll just tell her it’s a civil matter. File for divorce & file for child custody the day you pick them up from school file in the morning then pick them up. Kids will stay with you until you go to court.


When my husband and I split , he cheated, I asked him to wait a yr before he introduced our son to his gf, and I did the same with my bf to make sure , it was serious so our son would not get attached to someone and short time this person was gone. He was already dealing with his parents splitting up. Its your responsibility and your wife’s to ensure that your children get thru this unhurt. It’s about co-parenting and being adults not hurting your children more and using them as pawns to hurt each other and not be Petty


Tell them if she causing all this shine the light on her ass and take her to court first thats still your wife so that needs to be done or separation something u shouldn’t have gotten into another relationship without y’all having an understanding now u have involved your girlfriend in your unfinished business if you are that hurt by her cheating take her to court divorce or legal separation but you cannot drag this woman with you this you have to clean up court for your wife then court for the kids

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Not to side with any side here, but I feel like this situation between your “wife” and yourself should have been dealt with first before adding anyone to the mix. You need to go to court, get a divorce/separation and set up custody/visitation rights. Whatever you do in your free time away from your children is your business, but I wouldn’t think you or your wife should be introducing your children to anyone else until you have dealt with the situation you both have put yourself in.


Go to court, and mind what you say to her. She can use anything against you. I highly suggest you document everything. Just know it’s apart of control. She had you, and used you. Now that your happy, she’s trying to control who is around her child. I mean she can tell you her concerns, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen. Your time is your time. She clearly didn’t care about your feelings, so make it clear that you hear her out. You choose to not be controlled by her, and she needs to stop being a child about it. She dug her own hole, so don’t let her bury you with it.


I’m in the same situation except baby isn’t born as yet and she doesn’t know if he is the father but she was harrassing my partner bringing me into it i look at it as jealously, i was also told that I can have a order against her if need to

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Well In most states she has no say you have legal rights as a father, unless she can prove that your current girlfriend is unfit as a person there is nothing she can do about it AND if you’re on the birth certificate and there is no custody agreement or parenting plan in place as you’re still married you can walk into that house take those kids and leave and she can’t do shit about it

I think things would be easier if you could say my ex wife! No judgement! When your legally married with a girlfriend it’s not a good look. I personally wouldn’t want my children around a new girlfriend until I know they are gonna be permanent. After I got divorced and started dating again my kids didn’t meet or know him till it was serious!! We have been together for 5 years now.


You need to get divorced and get a custody agreement in order. It’s hard and gonna be a pain but it needs to be done. Is there a reason your wife doesn’t want your gf around the kids? It may just be because your wife doesn’t really know the woman which I could understand. I’ll give y’all a good laugh, So i got very lucky and adore my kids step mom(we actually went to school together so I already knew her when I met her) My husband’s ex wife is married to my daughter’s dad LOL my husband and his ex divorced then me and him got together and a few months later his ex wife started dating my daughter’s dad and a year later they got married. It’s worked out so well lol all our kids are on the same schedule and thankfully us grown ups all get along for the most part.


There is no way that she can enforce you not introducing your gf to your children, unless it is in your parenting plan. My ex doesn’t even have to tell me his gf’s name. Which he won’t.

Your ex-wife is acting like a negative gatekeeper with your children and judges do not like that.

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Some women don’t want their kids to have step parents at all. So this could be her issue but sit down and talk to her and maybe keep the gf away from your kids until she has met her in person more than one time.

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She is completely jealous and guarantee you she kinda hates herself for doing that to you and mad to see you happy, but on the other hand, maybe wait until y’all are divorced before you have your new girlfriend meeting your kids


Tell your family the truth about your ex, and take her to court for visitation rights!!! They’re your kids too and you have as much say as she does!!!

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Chalk it up and go to court.

Go to court get split custody

So maybe get divorced first and then go from there.


Having a hard time understanding the latter third of your post.

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Principals before personalities…u should of resolved ur issues with ur wife legally before taking a hostage… obviously u was starving for attention…even though she a cheat u just don’t bring your kids around another woman or her around another man…in my eyes ur both fucking stupid the kids are the real victims here focus on that…Grow the f—

That bitch cheated on your and she’s trying to have morals? And are you so weak that you let her step on you continuously, damn , grow some balls and tell her what you are gone do, I don’t know about these weak ass men,

Get visitation rights
Cos if you ain’t a dead beat dad then fight for your children your relationship with your new woman is not that important than your children