My exes wife is harassing me: Advice?

I doubt you’ll ever see this, but I’m desperate to seek guidance. I already tried to get full custody once, but it didn’t pan out due to the child’s dad not having incidents on his discipline record at work. The child’s dad is now married to a girl who is harassing me (child’s mom) and my babysitter. We’ve got a police incident report for it. I live in a different state just to stay away from them physically, but the wife keeps harassing me and posts about me on her Facebook and gets the family involved. To the point, she doesn’t want to see my child (her husband’s kid) nor wants my sitter to keep him because she doesn’t like me. How can I protect my child from Tennessee if he visits dad in Texas with stepmom around? We all know abuse to children is usually caused by step-parents. His dad is a cop and refuses to tell his wife, we’ve got a police report, and I’m pursuing a custody amendment because he thinks that’ll push her out the door for good.


Abuse is can be caused by any family member, not just a step parent. Any parent who is married to a psycho like this, usually isn’t much better.


My husbands ex tried to get me outta the picture thru court n the judge wasn’t having it. Stop paying attention to her and her social media and go on about your life

  1. block all contact. 2) tell sitter to block all contact 3) if family gets involved AT ALL, block contact. 4) screenshots before. you block contact. 5) explain this father thing again, cause uhm, he won’t tell her you have the police involved and he wants rid of her too? 6) get a good as* kicking lawyer. Use a credit card for that lawyer if necessary.

abuse to children is usually caused by step parents??? i felt bad for u but go kick rocks


Uhhh as a parent and step parent I disagree with your above comment. Abuse can some from ANYWHERE.


File for emergency custody

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I was a step parent and I think your statement is really off kilter and rude. Abuse is caused by anyone, I see she might be a troubling step parent but don’t lump us all in with your bad seed.


Take print outs of her posts that threaten you, your child, that say she doesn’t want the child around or that badmouth you. File a parenting time restriction with the court in your state (legal docile). Request that you have sole custody with all visitations take place with just their father (siblings or other safe relatives) supervised by your counselor, pastor or other professional. There’s also places that will supervise visits for a fee. Take everything with you but attach a few of the worst ones to your request (have extra copies for yourself). Tell the judge you’re afraid of her abusing your child & that since she’s posting it on social media you’re afraid she’ll get others involved. If your child is in counseling & tells their counselor things she or dad has done or said bring the counselor to court with you.


I think I’d like more info and context on what you’re deeming “harassment.” If it is about the child, I dont know that you can call it harassment. However, if it is legitimate harassment, file a restraining order for you, and possibly your son. But you have to be able to prove your case. If you can show that it is malicious or repetitive and not a one time thing, even better. Screenshot everything she does and posts online as well as anything she texts to you to collect as much evidence as possible to prove your case. Have the babysitter do the same. If you can get a restraining order from her for your child, then she legally can’t be around when his father has him. But be warned, this won’t go over well. The pot stirring with family and over social media will eventually stop, when she doesnt get attention from it, and she will find something else to waste her time on. In the meantime, say nothing. Dont be a party to her crazy. Don’t fuel it; don’t retaliate; dont participate period. I would instruct your babysitter to not have any contact with her whatsoever. Dont reply, dont answer the phone when she calls, nothing. Technically, any business pertaining to your child should be between you and said child’s father. You need to set that boundary with her and tell her directly any communication she wants to have with you will be via her husband only, and she is not to contact you. If she continues to do so, you will pursue further action and leave it at that.

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Take that line out that we all know abuse is by step parents …knock it off…that’s not true at all that’s you trying to convince everyone reading your post to see things how you do. Does it happen yes…all the time? No. Makes me wonder how much of your story is true or if you’re the jealous ex trying to paint her ex husband’s new wife poorly. He’s a cop how much drama do you think he’s gunna participate in… Block all her contact and take it to court with whatever proof you have that’s all you can do…


First at foremost abuse can come from anywhere, second is there an issue between the step parent and child, also is there a reason why the dad shouldn’t have custody of his own child??
Whats between you the sitter and the step mom should not affect the relationship between the other parents. If you guys can’t get along seek mediation. It’s not the child’s fault nor has anything to with the child.


Y’all should research more, she’s not off base about step-parent abuse. Look up the Cinderella Effect.

Idk how you would be able to protect your child from a different state while child is visiting father in another but as other’s have said, screenshot and save all text messages, record phone calls if possible, DOCUMENT everything! As far as her social media, you are voluntarily going to her page to check up, there’s nothing that can be done. That’s something you can ignore. If she’s actually tagging you or messaging you directly, you can screenshot for police and report to FB for harrassment/bullying and you can also block her. You can also block her from your phone and email. If she continues, keep documenting. You need to tell your husband, as a cop, he has a duty to protect the public, that includes you and babysitter; as a father, he has a duty to protect HIS CHILD.

Read this, it could be helpful, even with a step parent.


You know anything this posted on social media, Emails, text messages, phone records are admissible in court as evidence. With screenshots from her account that’s dated, PD report in hand go back to the courts and see what can be done.

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If she’s harassing you why are you looking at her Facebook? Aside from her posting things you don’t like what has she done? Grow up seriously.


You lost a lot of respect with your ignorant comment about abuse normally coming from step parents.


Just because YOU aren’t abusive as a step parent does not mean ANYTHING!
It’s a proven fact that step parents are more likely to abuse than biological parents. Research the Cinderella effect!


I was abused by a step parent. Just because your not that way or have a step parent that is involved doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and it happens more than people think.


I’m really very confused by this. And I think you should amend your comment about step parents.


First, block her as a contact. Anything you need to talk about in terms of visitation could be discussed with the ex. If she is harassing take screenshots and save them. Then get a attorney. Show them to the attorney and take him to court. Depending on the child’s age they will speak with the child as well if the child is claiming abuse. If the child doesn’t want to visit dad because of her talk to the dad. Regardless of statistics of who is likely to abuse kids… if she is then stop visitation at all costs. I think to many people are hung up on the sentence that most abuse comes from step parents. Regardless of whether that is true or not… if this step parent is abusing your child then take him to court it’s that simple. Now if she is just being verbally abusive to you and the babysitter… then just block her and move on. It isn’t really that hard to do honestly. Let her talk… and don’t worry about it.

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I’m a step parent and love my kids yes I call them my kids because they are to me. We all co parent together. Their mom and their dad and step dad and myself. We all attend soccer games and sports and support each other. I suggest y’all try that. If you all need to attend foundling to get on the same page for the kids then do that. If their is a problem fix it. Stop calling the cops and y’all stop being childish for the lids


I don’t know why so many are getting offended by the original person posting step parents abuse. My husbands step mother was really abusive, she even used to tell lies to his father and have him beat his brother, threatened to send them to boarding school like she really had a say, have my husband beat and my mother in law actually had to go to the police department due to the bruising all over my brother in law one day when he came home. I heard from other people also how they were treated and I’m sorry that some may ruin it for the ones who actually go above and beyond


I went cross eyed trying to read this… it’s confusing. :crazy_face:

Ps. I’ve been a step parent for 10+ years, and as much as I’d like to smack the shit out of these children sometimes… I don’t. It’s not someone’s position that makes them abusive… it’s their character.

I’m soooo confused… what is happening here


What is this, there is not one ounce of sense made here


In all honesty, you sound like the jealous one trying to get step mom out of the picture.


Child Protective Services worker here! Just stopped to say “We all know abuse to children is usually caused by step-parent” is a big old load of garbage!

Oh, and that I hope the OP gets counseling, because I agree there’s some serious issues going on here, but they’re not about the stepmom abusing the kid.


“I’m pursuing a custody amendment because he thinks that’ll push her out the door for good”

Are you saying your ex wants to leave his wife but wants you to be the one to “push her out for good”??

You have a police report that your ex knows about but wont tell her?

Sounds like all 3 of you could use some serious counseling🤷‍♀️


Step parents can be HORRIBLE. My older brother was SEVERELY abused by his ex step mother, all while his dad watched and my mom had no idea about it until my brother turned 18 and told her. Don’t get offended just because you ARE a step parent. If you’re not abusive, you’re not the kind of person she’s talking about 🤷🏼‍♀🤷🏼‍♀


Woah woah woah. You had me till the step parent sentence.

First of all, abuse is not always usually caused by step parents at all? Do you have genuine reasons to be worried that she would be abusing him? Your son having a babysitter is also none of her business (as long as she doesn’t have any genuine worries about the sitter obviously). Does his dad refuse to tell his wife he’s a cop? Or what because I’m confused. You’re pursuing a custody amendment because your sons dad things that will push her away, so does that mean he wants her out of the way?

Wth did I just read, none of this made any sense whatsoever. Also, your opinion on step parents is shit.

Wow i didn’t realize this group had a bunch of step parent haters in it.

Honey the best advice I would have for you is to just keep truckin. If the dad wants to see his kid make him come see them without the wife cuz she can’t respect you she won’t respect your child. You have