My family is mad I am letting my sons hair grow out: Advice?

I’m getting alot of backlash from my son’s family an some of mine because well my son is 5 months old an his hair is growing so fast an it’s so curly an I wanna grow it out long an not really cut it an i keep getting alot of nasty remarks like “Why would you want your son too look like a girl” “Your going to make his get made fun of at school” “Boys are suppose to have short hair” an idk what too do I don’t want to be rude an it’s starting to really bug me an hurt my feelings…any advice


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My family is mad I am letting my sons hair grow out: Advice?

You need to do what’s best for your child… or at least what you think is best for your child. We are all doing the best that we can. Our “best” doesn’t have to coincide with what’s best for the next. Everyone is going to have opinions… I’ve learned, after the fact, that someone else’s opinion was actually extremely detrimental to what I wanted for my children. Stand your ground. Other people’s opinions will cause doubt and guilt. There is no hand book for raising the perfect child. You are responsible as a parent to guide your children… That’s it.

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Tell them to F**K OFF! I had gotten the same crap from both sides about both of my boy’s hair, including from some that weren’t in any relation or connected to my family - he is YOUR son! Slam that momma bear paw dooooown! Please do not give in to their ignorance and immaturity, I promise you that you will regret it. Because I did and still do. :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::sob:

My son is 3 with adorable curly hair and I just get little trims. I’m not cutting it all the way. There are a lot of boys and also men with very masculine long hair. Just tell them to mind their own business and thank you.

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You say you don’t want to be rude but obviously they didn’t mind being rude with their unwanted comments, so I say give them a dose of their own medicine.

I guess you have to remind them that he’s YOUR child and YOU raise him how you see fit and long hair on boys isn’t girlie at all, don’t let the Karen’s get you down! My adopted son is indigenous and I’ll be damned if anyone tells me to not grow and braid his hair :100:

My boyfriend has long hair (about down to his lower back) also, he’s Cherokee… tell your family to mind their own :person_shrugging:

I refuse to cut ANY of my kids hair until the specified they wanted it cut alterations to appearance and such are something I feel l is there decision their hair growing is natural cutting it is a weird thing people decided to do I’m so glad your family had that opinion as the “real men” of history had theirs long :thinking::thinking:

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Ask them “why do you care about something that isn’t any of your business?” Or, say dripping with sarcasm, “Thank you for sharing.”

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Let his hair grow. Tell them to mind their own business.

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That’s toxic masculinity and they wouldn’t have to worry about people teasing about being a girl being they think women are inferior. And they don’t want to be one because they know that they are treated like they are inferior because they believe they are inferior.

I love boys and men who have long hair because they are secure enough in their masculinity, and think that calling someone a girl is dumb, and they aren’t insulted by someone saying that they are a girl. And there’s nothing I disrespect more than people who don’t do things because of what others will say, even though they like/enjoy it


All 3 of my boys have long hair. Ages 9, 5 and 2. Also my husband hair is long. Longer than mine :joy:

He’s your son and If you want his hair long then let it grow. Loads of young boys with long hair now

Brian May as long curly hair and he’s 76 years old so what .

I think you do what you want but I feel a boy needs to look like a boy otherwise people will start asking you if he is a ‘girl or a boy’

Tell them “isn’t it great that we live in a world where we can raise our kids how we want?” Then ignore them.

I had a family like this. EVERYTHING I did was wrong. They even watched me change diapers & made comments about my kids privates. Anything to try to make me feel inadequate. It sent me into a state of constant worry, anger & feeling like I can’t do anything for myself because I’ll always screw it up. 1 of the best things was did was distance myself from everyone. I have no family. I suggest you consider doing the same unless you want to constantly question yourself because theyre always critising you.

I don’t know any licensed professional that would cut a 5 month olds hair.

:thinking: do you and your son not have the same family… ignore them,

It’ BS. Do what you and kiddo want with the hair. Also recognize that they’re going to push outdated gender roles into your kiddo!

Tell them that long hair on boys is very common now and you are not worried about it. If they keep going then tell them that you don’t want to discuss it anymore. Then any time after that it’s brought up just say “I’m not discussing this with you again” and leave the area if possible, don’t entertain the subject and eventually they will realize that it’s pointless to bring it up.


If thats something you feel like you want to do then do it! Those baby curls are priceless :blue_heart: I didn’t cut either of my sons hair until it got to be an issue. My first had the most beautiful blonde curls, and yes if you didnt see what he was wearing or his face, he would be mistaken for a girl. The minute they would see his face though they would change real quick to “Oh my what a beautiful little boy” not “Oh he looks like a girl”. Those are my people. He is only 5 months, you have plenty of time later to cut and style his hair. Let those baby curls grow for awhile! I ended up having to cut my seconds hair sooner because he would always get stuff in it. He is also autistic, so that was REAL fun. Long hair on men is a thing. My father had long hair his whole life, I LOVED his hair. If my sons wanted to grow their hair out now, I wouldnt have an issue with it. Although with the texture my first has be would probably have beautiful bouncy hair lol women would be jealous :rofl:

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It’s literally just hair :rofl: The things people worry about. My son has his first hair cut right before he turned 5 and it was down to his bum crack. He wanted it cut so I said ok. :rofl: Now at 8, he is growing it out again, his choice. Just past his shoulders right now.

Get rude. If they want to make rude comments like that about an infant, you make rude comments back. Stand up for yourself. Your son is an infant, there is a solid 4 years before he starts school. That’s means 4 years of growing it. 4 years to help him make the choice of keeping it or growing it. You’re the mama, don’t listen to the family, it’s not their baby.

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Why do you care what others have to say about how you raise your kids? Get on with life not worrying about others opinions.

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Ignore them? If I had a son with my husband bow both of us wouldn’t cut his hair. We have 4 girls and a boy but only 3 are living. Our boy passed at 21w 4d. I’ve seen so many men with long hair these days. My husband’s hair is passed his butt. It doesn’t look like it because it’s super curly. I have 2 older boys from another relationship and they decided to grow their hair. Everyone loves their hair. I can’t even tell you how many compliments my husband get while we are in the store. One time he was telling me he was in a pet shop and a woman told him she wanted to “take him home and braid it”. Lol so these people telling you this are absolutely wrong for commenting. And know it’s only their opinion. Many others even other cultures grow their hair out. Native Americans grow their hair out. It’s an honor thing. Don’t let me get started on game of thrones where khal drogo has his “wig” but the legend their is they don’t cut their hair unless they loss a battle. So now we call it a warrior wig. Lol. “Thanks for your opinion but I’m his mama” or something to that effect if you really want to say something but normally I’d just not say anything. They don’t need to know my business.

Yes because Jason momoa is so “girly” because his long hair… tell them to get a clue. Hair styles are not gender. They don’t make your gender just like inanimate objects do not make gender. Clothes do not turn you into a woman or a man. Iv heard of tons of boys with longer hair donate to locks of love when it gets super long. Tell your kids family to shut it.

Wow thats crazy do u girl he is only 5 months must kids don’t get there first hair cut till after a year old… my boys have had long and short hair don’t worry about everybody else u gonna get backlash no matter what u do being a parent if u and your child is good and healthy screw everybody else opinion

My nephew had super long hair and we just let it keep growing till he made the choice to cut it. He’s 6 now got it cut when he was 5 but once he was able to start talking he would tell people long hair don’t care and go about his day lol. He did get in trouble one day at pre k somebody called him a girl he dropped his pants and said does it look like I’m a girl :sweat_smile::woman_facepalming:

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It’s YOUR son. My 4-year-old grandson has hair past his shoulders and while I’m not personally fond of it, it’s not my child therefore not for me to say. I’ve gotten quite used to seeing his curls

I understand where your family is coming from.
The child is going to be called a girl. For a while.
But it’s your child to what you want.
I would keep it cut.

Nope don’t listen my son had long hair til first grade he asked to have it cut because of some cartoon he wanted that hair style
But he wasn’t made fun of and he loved his long hair! He is 10 now and asking to grow it back out!

Why give a crap what they think? He’s your son. He’s a baby, he doesn’t need a cut until you decide.

Be rude. It might shut them up. He’s just 5 months old. Cut it when you feel good and ready.

Tell them if it was their baby they could do what they wanted but since it isn’t mind their business

I’m passive aggressive in those situations and ask them if it is their kid or not

My Grandson grew his hair from birth, and when he was ready to have it cut he made the choice t have it cut

Both my boys have long hair, 9 years old and 3

It is your kid .when he wonts it cut do it, then you should do it

It’s your baby, tell them to mind their business…period…

Your kid, your choices. Simple.

If hes ok with it let him be

“He’s fine” and leave it at that. I wouldn’t want to cut a 5mo hair either way. But, when you say “he’s fine” say it matter of factly that doesn’t leave room for a response.

I would simply say, well since you didn’t Birth him you don’t get an opinion!

“With masculinity that fragile and toxic I’m surprised the patriarchy isn’t easier to crush”
“If you have an issue with his hair we can just… not be around”
“I wasn’t aware I asked anyone else’s opinion”
“Shut the fuck up”

All of these are valid options

My son has long hair, the people that said those same things I just said you’re just jealous because he has nicer hair than you. Which is true lol. We also started to grow out his hair for all those poor babies that never could due to residential schools. His hair is medicine. Some days I just wanna chop it all off because its a hassle to brush. But I can’t really bring myself to do it because I love his hair.

Girl that’s your child. Want me to tell them to fuck off for you?! Grow that baby’s hair out if YOU want. Who cares?!
Depends on the person, not society. 🫶🏽