Does anyone else deal with this? every time my husband and i get into a fight, my family will take his side over mine…i dont even get it either as they are my family and we have only been married for a year…is this normal? i feel lost and like i have no one
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My family takes my spouses side over mine: Advice?
Why is your family even in your arguments? Stop bringing in outside people who aren’t professionals and there wouldn’t be a side to take.
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Don’t all to your family about it. Don’t allow fights around your family. You could however ask them why they do that. My family was the same way for a bit. With literally everyone I dated so I stopped talking to them about spousal drama. Relationships have greatly improved
Do you live with your family? Why they know or have an opinion about the fighting with your husband?
Well, my mom will be on the side of whoever she thinks is right , she will not be on our side or cover up our shit
It depends on why they’re taking his side. My mom would take my SIL side because my brother was in the wrong and my mom believes that wrong is wrong regardless of who’s doing it. She wouldn’t tolerate or excuse his behavior just because it’s her son.
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No and I promise if you let it go it’ll fester for years… You’ll begin to doubt every single move you make… Srsly run now
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Sounds like it’s possible that you might just be in the wrong if your family is siding with someone they’ve known for only over a year as opposed to your whole life. Just saying.
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Well what are yall fighting about? There really iant enough details givin to be able to really tell you what you need to try and do.
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Toxic is toxic….let them be unless you are always wrong 
Every time you have a fight do you tell your family? Don’t even bring them into it.
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Don’t tell people your business, and they won’t be able to take sides.
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Maybe you’re just always wrong
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Does your hubby tell them every time you have a spat…he is probably telling them his version…so when they take his side he must be gloating
I would ignor their calls and their texts when you have a spat so you dont have to listen to it
And maybe spending less time with them
I know how that goes. My adoptive mother used to side with my ex. I used to try to tell her he was abusive and she would ask me what I did [to deserve it]. There was no, “my goodness, that’s not good,” or “gee, I’m sorry you’re having trouble,” just the automatic assumption that it was my fault. I’m not saying I was perfect. With two little kids, my housekeeping wasn’t perfect. There were toys scattered until bedtime a lot of times. Or the dishes had to sit for awhile while the kids got a bath. Sometimes I forgot the laundry in the dryer. But I was expected to do the housework and the yard work-grass cutting, hedge trimming and so forth. I was the one taking the trash out. And I did all the childcare. I was a stay at home mom. But he did nothing except what he wanted to do. It was even my responsibility to make sure that the vehicles were washed and waxed in the driveway. I was also to carry in the firewood in fall and winter. His parents would bring it and stack it. I would carry it inside. I also had to carry the ashes out. No I wasn’t perfect. Some stuff didn’t get done because I wanted to spend time with my kids, reading books, playing records and singing, watching special stuff on TV… we had stuff we did together. Going to the park and the grocery store… the library. But he found fault with me all the time. Cussed me out. Would slam his way out of the house… I would call my adoptive mother and cry. She would insist I must have deserved it. Is it any wonder I looked up my bio mother? She was supportive and listened. She had been through a bad marriage. She knew it was a mess. She helped me. So my advice is to find someone who IS supportive and stop talking to people who aren’t.
Why does your family know every time y’all fight? Stop running to them when you need backup and handle your own shit then they won’t know you’re fighting and won’t take his side 
After 20+ years of being with my husband, my biggest advice is to remember it’s not about “sides” or who is right or wrong. It’s about communication, Listening, validating, forgiveness, and being on the same team. Once you figure those things out everything else will fall into place and you won’t need your family to be on your side because you’re on the same sides 
It sounds like you’re seeking validation and feeling lonely. Talk to your husband about it.
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Best advice I can give to you is keep your family out of your private life with your husband. They do not need to know if you are fighting.
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Why the hell is your family involved in your personal life?
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Don’t tell your business outside the house then you wouldn’t have to worry about people taking sides
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Why would your family know what’s going on with you and your spouse. What happens between you and him is private, in most cases. So my advice is to stop telling your business.
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If you’ve only been married a year and already having this much strife to where family is always involved then this marriage is over.
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Why is your extended family involved in your private issues? That’s what’s strange here. They shouldn’t even be involved with whatever arguments you and your spouse have unless it’s about one of you being abused or needing to get out of the relationship!
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Maybe u are literally in the wrong and they aren’t coddling u… are u a narcissist?
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Why is your family involved? Why are you fighting so much after only being married a year? Maybe you are actually in the wrong.
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Maybe they’re taking his side cause you’re in the wrong. Just because it’s family doesn’t mean they have to take your side in every situation, if you’re wrong you’re wrong!
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Maybe you are wrong. I don’t care if it’s my family or not wrong is wrong.
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I mean I’ve been married 8 months and my family tells me when I’m wrong and sometimes it takes me a hot minute to realize I’m wrong 
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Whoever is telling them should keep your business to yourself
If you don’t want them to take sides stop telling them.
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Couple things here; if they are taking your husbands side “on everything” then maybe you are out of line? Why are they even in your personal business? Maybe take a step back and try to understand why they keep taking his side. If you want to know the honest truth, put another post up of a fight you had with your husband; be specific and detailed and honest with what the both of you said and if the internet takes your husband’s side and not yours maybe it’s time to change your behavior?
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Things that happen between you and your husband shouldn’t involve your family “taking sides”.
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Just because they’re you’re family doesn’t mean they’re obligated to “side” with you if and when you’re wrong.
Think about that.
They’re your family. They love you. They’ve been there for you your whole life…and yet something in these situations has them defending someone they’ve only known for a year.
It may be time to take a step back and truly look at your own behavior.
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Don’t like being told you’re wrong? 
Why is your family even involved in your arguments? They’re tired of hearing your drama and letting you know it’s your fault 
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Why is your parents even involved in your relationship/marriage… I wouldn’t call my family or friends in an argument and have them pick a side lol.
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I don’t understand why your parents or anyone else is involved with your relationship fights? That’s weird to me🤨
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The question I would be asking myself is: Maybe I am wrong?
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Why are they involved in your problems? This is how problems get worse you never involve outsiders to your problems unless you are being abused leave
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Lol my family is that way too, he can do no wrong 
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Um. Why are married adults running to family when they fight?
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Um…I think the bigger question here is WHY IN THE SAM HELL are you dragging your family into your marriage in the first place? Sounds like y’all need some lessons in fighting fair and communicating with each other. Who’s the one telling them and venting to them? They don’t need to know every second your life. This isn’t healthy conflict resolution. Grow up.
Why is your family involved?
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Why do you include family in fights.?
If everyone around you has the same opinion or thoughts, you must wake up to see that the problem may be you?
My family was like that with my ex. He was severely emotionally abusive. Idk if he convinced them I was always wrong or if they enjoyed helping him abuse me. I had to distance myself from everyone.
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