If someone says that to you, thats how they feel. You’ll just have to let it go, you’ll be fighting a losing battle if you try to hold on.
Sounds like he just is done there’s nothing you can do but move on and let him be a dad
You can’t keep his kid away from him because you’re mad at him.
DO NOT withhold access to your child because your fiance is not responding to YOUR demands. There’s got to be SO much more to this story. This is so juvenile. I get your hurting but the first place you go is “I’m going to hold his kid hostage until he speaks to me”?
Come on. Grow up!
Maybe it not you let him go and move on
Um don’t be thinking about your daughter like a pawn in this he has a right to see her regardless of what goes on between you both that is just bitter and childish to say you don’t want to let him see her because his not answering you. Best way to push him even further away is by threatening to withhold the child you BOTH made.
Don’t use your daughter as a pawn to get back at him. That is cruel and immature. You both made the baby and unless there is proven abuse/neglect on either side, both should have equal access/custody. Maybe he is now t responding to you because he needs time to think. While he should send a quick text stating as such, it’s no reason to withhold his daughter. When you are both calm, have a sit down, face to face, no yelling conversation about how to proceed. Good luck!
I’d just give him time! But you shouldn’t keep him from seeing his daughter just because he said that to you. The child has nothing to do with problems between you both
Ur child is not a weapon!
Communication is what you needed… He built up too much against you that could’ve been saved if you communicated earlier… Once you’re done, you’re done…
First of all hes a shitty partner but that doesnt make him a shitty dad. Second, if he wants to go tell him to crack on and keep the house so little one has some continuity. Hope you get it sorted.
Kids would rather be from a broken home than in one.
Any lady should never stop a Father who pays child support and doesn’t let him see the child or let him talk to the child on the phone so just practice what you are preaching.
Wow, already using the kid as a pawn. Way to go.
This pisses me off… why do you want to withhold your child from him? He was honest with you, now you’re upset… and that’s understandable, but keeping him away from his child just because of that, or he isn’t answering your calls? Are you bloody serious? Grow up girl
I agree with many that the child shouldn’t be used as a pawn but there should be some kind of communication between them for visitation to take place. He has to answer a call or text to agree to meet to see the child. If he doesn’t how can you trust the baby with him… I suggest conseling or a mediator to make sure the daughter’s needs to visit and safety are met. The mediator could just be a friend with respect for both parents until a more formal arrangement can be made but you have to be able to talk to have a visit
I already see a lot of bashing/negativity. Girls she is feeling so many emotions right now! Yes don’t use your kids as pay back or a punishment but I’m sorry about what some of these women have said. So much for advice and support huh
Never put ur child in an atgument if it.s her dad u r so wrong to say that u did not want him to c his child
Sounds like he has already moved on. Be a Mom and be happy. Everyone one has attitude even him. The vision thing is different never heard it put that way. Love a lifetime are usually the goal.
Why are you and the infant leaving the house??? He wants out of the relationship than kick his a** to the curb!
I’m sorry I know it hurts and it’s very hard because you’ve just had a baby, but he’s already given you your answer. He’s avoiding you to avoid further conflict. He doesn’t have to argue or talk with you to see your child. Please don’t be one of those Mom’s that use their child as a weapon. If he is good to his daughter you have no reason to keep him from her. Maybe after some time you cam work things out, or maybe you’ll realize that you weren’t that happy with him. Just please don’t hurt your baby by keeping her father from her!
Don’t use the baby as a bargaining tool. If he is a good dad let him continue to be that. If he wants to split give it time and see what happens Forcing someone to be with you never works out in the long run
Sounds like he’s already moved on and wanted you out (seeing someone else)
I’m sorry to hear. You are beeaking up. Even if he agrees to not break up right now, he clearly wants to. I think you should send him one message that you have to coparent and that means he needs to return phone calls.
Secure a place to go or ask him to find one and focus on your baby. Every day will get better.
Your daughter is not a weapon. Just because he is not talking to you. Is no reason to keep his daughter from him. When people are done. They are done. You cannot force someone to be with you. Besides what kind of relationship would it be If you did
Your kids not a pawn. Your issues have nothing to do with him and the kid.
You staying a ok somewhere else doesn’t help. Write him a letter and give it to him. Then talk.
Your child is not a pawn. Just because his feelings have changed for YOU doesn’t mean his feelings have changed for his daughter.
I think you should both talk maturely as adults and decide how to go on from there. You have a kid to think about now.
Using your baby as a weapon? If you are capable of using your baby because your mad at him, I kind of get where he’s coming from.
Let him be to think things through and you need to do the same!! You are to wound and about to bust. I don’t know your history together though. Bicker? What is that? You pick at him for whatever? Veg a little and let him see his daughter. Joint home? Stay home.
When me and my fiancé get into arguments he just needs his space as do I. Everyone argues and it depends on the situation weather or not you should or shouldn’t break up. Let him come to you and just pray. It always helps have some faith. Everything happens for a reason. Hope everything goes well.
What’s between you two is just that…
it’s not right to keep the baby from her father.
Never use your child as a weapon because you are being so damn bitter
So immature from both sides… not ready for marriage yet alone a baby
Dont put your baby in the middle!!!
A relationship with the fighting and arguing can be very draining for the person trying . Does he argue back all the time? If so may be breaking up is the right thing to do so your baby won’t be raised in a environment of fighting and seeing this can really make a child an unhappy adult
Do Not use the child as a barging tool. Just because he was honest to you about how he feels dosent have nothing to do with the baby. The child is both of yours, made from part him and part you. That will never change, so you both need to Co parent. Maybe he needs space. You can’t force someone to be with you. Maybe take some time to heal and find your self.
You have a baby that needs a father. Wtf are you thinking. Wah, he doesnt love me so I’m gonna keep his child away from him. How dare you…
What’s going on is between you &him! DO NOT KEEP THAT CHILD FROM HER FATHER!
You cannot keep your child from him because he wants to break up with you. Grow up and deal with your relationship without using your baby as a bargaining tool!
Dont ask others for advice. You and you alone can only make that decision. Take the time to look within yourself. Heal yourself and make sure you are looking within yourself to see if you are truly happy and not expecting the other person to mak3 you happy
Dont use your daughter as a weapon this is not her fault, and wont make the situation improve between you if you start doing that😑
If I were you I would let him go my ex did me the same exact way told me everything he told you and then I found out that he already had someone else save yourself get out I know you lived him I lived mine as well and it was hard but it want get no better plus if he does have someone else u deserve better u and your daughter do … Men that tell u that they don’t live u anymore there’s a real reason behave and it and most of is that they are cheating in you already .
No answer is an answer. Move on girl.
If you use that baby as a pawn and wont let him see her this weekend because he wont give YOU an answer, I can see why he doesn’t want to be with you.
You both sound really immature, talking about things like adults is what needs to happen, but him not giving you an answer is his answer, leave.
If his not happy then let him go. Why should you go? I suggest you take the appropriate steps to start over with your child. Don’t try to keep someone by your side that doesn’t want to be there.
What a bitch…
“I’m gonna keep your kid from you till you want me again”
Move on with your life. Hurts now but it will get better as time goes on. Life is short, he made his decision and if you hold on and think he will change - maybe but he has already wanted out - so say no more. He is looking for excuses to end the relationship.
Just give him some space right now. Send a message asking if he wants the baby for the weekend if he doesn’t answer back then that’s a no. But dont keep the baby from him just because he doesnt want to be with you any more. You dont want that label. You’ll have to figure out what works best for you two to co parent.
Way to put your kid in the middle. He deserves better if you’re trying to keep his child away from him just because he doesn’t want to be with you.
How dare you even think about using his and your daughter against him, how dare you.
He doesn’t love you anymore, big whoop move on. You can’t force anyone to love you if they do not want to.
He was honest about how he feels. Good on him for being an honest man.
You need to step back and think about what you are doing. If he isn’t replying to you or answering your calls, that means he needs time to heal and process things in his head and by doing so it also means he needs a break.
Stop trying to control the situation.
Accept that people have a change of heart and sometimes feelings are lost.
But don’t dare use his and your child against him because you can’t get what you want. That is immature and spiteful.
Just by what you have written, I personally think he made the appropriate decision by breaking the relationship off.
You sound controlling and narcissistic.
My advice and you can take it or leave it.
Is too leave, and co parent maturely and civilly as adults for the sake of both his and your baby.
Your daughter shouldn’t suffer because you 2 want to be childish.
This isn’t about you 2, this is about what is first and foremost best for your daughter.
I hope all the best for both you, your ex and your baby.
Let him go, but DO NOT USE YOUR CHILD AS A WEAPON! that’s childish and bull… so many women would love to have the fathers of the kids be present… let him see the child, you not letting him see her can be bad for you
Definitely don’t punish the child because y’all are having issues. All kids deserve both parents when they’re willing to be there! That comment really does make you seem immature.
Don’t dangle the baby in front of him as a means for him to talk to you. Grow up, get some stuff and find a place to stay.
He’s already found someone else. Move on.
You need to show him that it’s for real and not even have a reaction, he’s feeding off of your pain and trying to control you if he’s threatening to leave. Been there, done that, if he threatens to leave he can actually go.
He is obviously not happy and he found his out. I say let things cool off bit and let him be ready to talk to you. Don’t keep the baby from him it isn’t the childs fault.
Honestly, I don’t think you should bother. It’s possible he’s found someone else. I understand not wanting to let him see the baby but you just can’t do that. Go to court ASAP. Don’t mess around with that.
Dont use your daughter as a pawn
Im so sorry. But it seems like it’s time to split. Unless this time apart has opened his eyes and he begs you for forgiveness. But whatever you do, DONT WITHHOLD YOUR DAUGHTER! She is innocent and needs her father in her life. Dont give her daddy issues, years from now she’ll go off and marry some guy 30 years her senior at 18. Be the bigger person for your daughter. He’s a coldhearted prick but he’s still the father and you loved him once. Let him be the one to walk away from your daughter if he wants nothing to do with either of you and file for child support.
Don’t keep your daughter from her dad and use her as a pawn… it’s not her fault you both aren’t getting along right now. Stop asking him about you and him, give him space. Ask him if he still wants to spend time with his daughter… give him that option.
Don’t keep your daughter from him. But he’s obviously not happy and you can’t force him to love you, so I think you should break up.
NEVER KEEP A CHILD FROM THERE FATHER! unless it’s for there safety. Sounds like to me your punishing him for not giving you answer but in reality, it’s your daughter your punishing. FATHERS HAVE RIGHTS! He broke up with you not her! He may not love you anymore but that doesn’t change the way he feels about her! Be better than that!
First off, dont use the child against the father BC you two have differences. People do change, and for all we know, you might have a shitty attitude…but I’m not going to judge, BC I don’t know you or your life.
He don’t want to be with you, that’s his right. Yea it sucks. You will get over it. Take this time to build ur self and take care of the baby
How long have you been together? You said fiancé, which most guys wont propose unless they’re actually ready to commit to you long term. Kids put strain on relationships, just from sleep deprivation and all the changes that come about after a baby comes into your life. Maybe give him time and space to breath & then have an adult conversation - maybe y’all just need to try a month split to refresh. Maybe try counseling? But he needs a breather and then y’all need to just talk it out and figure out what’s best for you both & your child…sometimes that’s for parents to not be together. Don’t withhold the child from him, that’s just petty and selfish.
If you’re thinking about keeping him from his child because he doesn’t want to be with you, then in my opinion, he needs to have the baby with him. That’s some straight up crap. There are dads that would kill to see their kids but spiteful moms hold them over their head for relationships or money. Don’t be that mom. If you want to work it out, go back to your home and talk it over. If he still doesn’t want to work things out, then go work out some custody arrangements and move on. You can’t MAKE or FORCE someone to love you or be with you. Especially with a child involved. You may need to be checked for PPD or PPA. I had it terrible with my last 2 and I got super exhausted and it wasn’t a great mix at all.
Your first mistake is dragging your daughter into it, just because you two can’t get along, should have nothing to do with him seeing his child. Leave your kids out of it!
What I’m going to suggest is in the interest for the three of you. First, I think you have a deeper issue (s) to deal with on a personal level. You sound unhappy on a deeper level and it shows in your relationship and possibly in many of your relationships. I strongly believe you need to take advantage of this separation, whether it is short-term or permanent, to self evaluate who you are.
Buy yourself a journal and use it daily. Talk to yourself in your journal. If you are able to seek counseling to help sort your feelings out, then do so. I’m suggesting this so that you don’t keep repeating what’s wrong in future relationships.
I think I’m understanding that you want to control the situation to the bitter end by holding your daughter hostage. Both of you created the baby. You have no moral or legal right to use your daughter as a bargaining chip. This may sound harsh, but let’s be clear, it is harsh. This is terribly unfair to your daughter and her father. The repercussions could be that your daughter will hold this against you later in life. This would end up being unbelievably painful to you.
Good luck to you all.
Please don’t use your daughter as a pawn
Ok i will only day this once. You and him are figjting and possibly separating not him and his daughter. That baby isnt a weapon in your relationship its a human being who needs her parents. Parents can be better parents apart sometimes then together. Your being a selfish bitch if u use that baby to make him talk to you. Straight up me and my ex dont talk at all and we co parent bettee now then when we were together because we stopped trying to fight with each other and only focus on our childrens needs. Between me and him we fucking hate each others guts to the moon and back, but we set that hate aside to be good parents by denying him his daugter your ignoring her needs and only focusing on your selfish needs to have him.
Don’t keep the baby from him. Y’all’s problem aren’t the child’s problems she is innocent . You may be hurt but to use the child against him is a big NO. If it doesn’t work out move on and be adults and learn to co parent!
what the heck just because you guys broke up does not mean he doesn’t have the right to see his child you sound bitter and Petty and you better watch out because you can lose custody of your child because of that as far as your relationship I think that I would ask him to go to counseling and if he didn’t respond to you then fine let it go everyone has the right to choose who they want to be with you don’t have the right to force him to be with you or not see his child
Dont hand over that baby until you have custody set in place! He could legally keep her until a judge orders custody arrangements.
Honestly he probably was talking to someone or he’s really annoyed with the fighting ! If its for real get a schedule set up by court asap so neither of you are running off with that poor girl or being dickheads keeping her from either parent. If its really over you need to come to terms that your daughter needs both parents learn to grow up and co parent!
You shouldn’t use your child as a pawn first off. It’s not the child’s fault things aren’t going your way and the baby shouldn’t have to suffer not seeing dad because of it. Step away for a while n see where it goes. Just me but I will never stay where I’m not wanted. You can ask if he will try counseling but if he doesn’t then he is pretty done with the relationship. Probably was for a while but stayed for the baby and now just cant do it no more. You must both try to keep things civil for that baby no matter how much you want him to stay with you. Dont withhold a child from an active parent. He should still be allowed to be the best dad he can be no matter what he is putting you thru. You may find you guys get along better separated. You never know if the future will bring you two back together but your starting off on the wrong foot by even thinking about keeping your baby away from her father.
Don’t use that fight as an excuse to keep your child from her father. That baby is not apart of that fight don’t ever so that
Tell him good luck finding someone that he won’t argue with here and there. It’s a part of every relationship. Sounds to me like he’s maybe got his eyes on someone else and is making an excuse to leave you.
Your baby has NOTHING to do with your relationship and she shouldn’t be put in the middle and used as a pawn.
I’d hazard a guess he might be right about the attitude when you get mad or hurt bc you’re even considering doing this just proves a petty and vindictive side.
I’m not saying any of this to hurt you and I’m certainly not judging you. But I do recommend that you actually take this time to evaluate yourself and see if there are things about yourself that you would like to change so that you can further grow as a person, mother, and partner.
I’m very sorry that you’re going through this. I know you’re hurting. But try to use this as a time to do some soul searching.
Chin up. You can get through this.
It sounds like he’s already moved on.
Let him go. Make sure he has access to the baby. Keep track of when he’s with the baby or not. Hold him accountable financially from the beginning. Love your life for the baby now. There must have been red flags before this sudden turn.
People in the comments saying “don’t hurt that baby by keeping her away”. Your child is 2 months old. She won’t remember this point on her life and if you just wait until you get a custody plan in place everything will be fine. She won’t remember and as far as she’ll know there was always a custody agreement he can legally keep her from you if he wanted to so i would just go ahead and get something done about it
Don’t be that baby mama. He is still that babies dad even if he doesn’t want to be with you. If you start keeping baby from him when your upset then he needs full custody…
Maybe this will work out, maybe it won’t.
None of us are there to see how you two treat each other. If he says you get an attitude when you get mad, maybe you do.
I used to think that bickering was normal too, and that arguing was normal, until I got out of my toxic af relationship.
Normal people talk to each other respectfully even when they disagree. Normal “arguments” don’t involve yelling at each other or name calling or saying cruel things to hurt the other person.
I would suggest being honest with yourself and looking at how you treat him and how you talk to him.
As far as the baby goes, she’s his baby too. Regardless if he wants to be with you or not, he does have a right it’s really his child. If he is asking to see her, then I suggest you do your best to make it happen because when you do eventually go to court, you’re going to have some explaining to do in regards to withholding access without justification
Split but still be friends
I think there is more to him thinking you just have an attitude. Like he is seeing someone else or something deeper. I’d confront him on it. And inform him that you two do have a child together and need to be civil for the sake of the kid. It is not fair the baby for you two to fight or slander the other. If he doesn’t see that, fight for the baby in the long run. Shouldn’t have had a child together if you can’t be civil in the long run.
Don’t keep the baby but act like it don’t bother you eventually he will come running back…
Sometimes things just don’t work. It’s okay to be apart and raise a child. Please don’t hold your child from him. That child deserves both parents no matter what. And as many said, maybe he is just done and happier without you. I know it sucks, I’ve been there. I have a horrible attitude that I’ve had to work on for some of the same reasons. Not saying you do, but no matter how bad it sucks. DO NOT KEEP HIS CHILD FROM HIM. It’s not fair.
To me sounds like he have someone else
Sounds like he proposed and yall had a kid and now he has cold feet. How old are y’all? Maybe hes scared to settle down bc he doesnt wanna waste his life with the wrong person. Dont keep his child away from him unless hes a danger to his child.
If he wants to see the child let him. He’s the father. Just because you two didn’t work doesn’t mean co-parenting can’t. If he is done with the relationship then you can’t force it. Let it go and heal.
My ex always did that left me each time we would not get along and we have a 10month old daughter and we have only been married for 3 months and he always told me he cheated he got caught talking to his exes on line and when i would call him out on it i was effin nosie i cant get over his past exes like he says i am at the point i am a very independent women and i dont need him getting rid of him made a load off of my back
Just because he’s not in love with you anymore does not mean he doesn’t deserve to see his kid
Why do women use a child as a weapon against the ex dosen’t matter how young she is she may not have memories but the dad and baby will lose so much bonding time its cruel
The child shouldn’t lose daddy time because you aren’t getting what you want. Put the child first.
Yeah because not letting him see his daughter because he woulnt answer YOU. Personally if you respond like this with everything can you really blame him. Sounds like he expressed his feelings well you can’t force love
You’re a disgusting human being if you would kee his child from him simply because he won’t give you an answer in the relationship. He doesn’t have to be in one with you to else his kid…you give women a bad name sorry not sorry
You want to let him see her. If you don’t, and you go to court, it could be bad. You are much better off being willing to share custody of your child. You shouldnt let the way he is treating you affect that decision. Regardless, he is still her father.
Not letting him see his child is not an option. Couples have disagreements all the time, but the way to a long lasting relationship is to communicate honestly and compromise. Neither one of you get to have your way all the time. Long relationships don’t come about because there were never any problems; they come from working through your problems.
A child should not be used as a pawn, a child needs both parents.
Let it go and let him be a dad there’s way too many fish in the sea￼. No need to beg anyone.
Definitely dont keep your daughter his child away from him because he doesnt want to talk to you about how he is feeling regarding you right now. He is probably having to do a lot of thinking right now as well and if you want a chance to make things work dont be one of those people who use a child against another parent. Give him some time, give yourself some time. If you both can work through this then great but if you cant its better to make a clean break and learn to co parent with each other. I am sure your emotions are going wild and that’s normal during this times. Let him work on him while you work on you.