My fiance and I had a fight and he thinks we should split up: Advice?

Sit n talk. Walk away if that’s how he still feels after talking

It sounds to easy on his part… Umm I think he found someone else.

Sooo. Don’t keep your kid from a good parent because you’re upset… and you can’t make him want to be with you. Move on.

p.s. Facebook dating is super fun.

Take your baby and leave him

Let him be for now. He maybe able to talk to you about it at a later time

DO NOT keep his baby from him unless you have a legitimate concern for baby’s safety. Just because he has fallen out of love with you doesn’t mean he won’t be a good daddy. Don’t be that person…

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Both of you probably know what you are doing to put your relationship in jeopardy.

Don’t use your kid as a pawn. That’s not fair to him or your child. Regardless of if he wants to be with you or not, he should still get to see his kid.

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This pissed me off all day…I can’t believe how many messed up females use their children to get what they want from men. It’s disgusting :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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That’s just his excuse, he wants out of the relationship. Make an arrangement for visits with the child if he wants to.

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Well it seems to me he didn’t want nothing to do with her or the baby if y’all would read the story right you would see that

If you were willing to keep my child from me cause you are all up in your feelings, you aren’t the kind of person I would want to be with either 🤷

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Take a step back and breath talking from the heart rather than the hip does wonders good luck

Please don’t use your child as a pawn. Hold your head up and go on with life. Use the time that your child is with their father to recharge—a nice bubble bath, a long walk, curl up with a book or movie, or have a long chat with a friend.

Why would you not let him see her? You shouldn’t keep his daughter from him just because he doesn’t want to be with you.

Should never keep a child away from their father unless they are in danger not but because you wanna be bitter because of the issues you two have had.

I literally only had to read the question before coming to this conclusion: leave him! Soul mates can get thru everything, and if he wants to give up over a little fight (regardless of what it is about, besides unhealthy things of course) what happens when shit gets real. Sorry, but that’s my opinion

If he thinks it’s over, it’s over. But don’t take a father away from his child if he wants to b in her life. That is unfair to both him and yalls daughter. Set feelings aside for the sake of her

If it’s over it’s over, but don’t keep your child from him.

yea dont keep the kid from him but definitely separate. all u will do is waist more time on someome who wants to be let go. life too short. live your life and move forward.

If he wants out let him go. Love yourself and your child. Make custody arrangements. It is a business relationship now.

First thing. It’s not your daughter it’s both of yours, he has every right as you do, just because you’re angry and hurt, don’t use a child to manipulate the other person. No matter the circumstances.

Unless he is a danger or threat to both of your child. Then I’m sorry. You’re just being selfish and cruel just because your feelings are hurt.

If he wants this relationship to end. Then you can’t change his mind, unfortunately you just need to accept and respect his decision and move on with your life and co parent that child you made together!

That child didn’t do anything. Why punish him/her? If a parent is there for the child and loves the child then don’t let a fight or him not wanting to be with you… keep THEM apart. CHILDREN ARE NOT PAWNS.
Also, I say give him time. It can only go one of two ways. He either changes his mind and decides he wants to be with you or he doesn’t. You can’t make someone love you or stay with you. It sucks but it’s life

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What a pity … And your child is only 2 months old.

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Whatever you do, DONT keep his child from him if y’all don’t work out. That’s not right at all

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First of all you can’t keep his child from him because he broke up with you

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Firstly you cannot keep your kid away because your relationship broke down and you want answers. That turns your kid into a weapon and it’s not right. Give him time, he might have meant it he might not just leave him be and dont try force anything on him

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Sounds like it’s time to move on. Contact an attorney and set up the legalities.
And remember, the adults may no longer be in a romantic relationship, but co-parenting peacefully should be a priority.

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Before anything, if hes a good father, dont keep the child from him…thats petty …regardeless of your issues…you shouldnt even mention keeping your child from him unless hes unfit father
:roll_eyes: cant stand women like that

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Just because your having an issue with your partner does NOT give you the right to try and deny him time with his child! The fight is between you to ADULTS not involve the child!

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Jesus please don’t be one of those mothers who is going to use the child as a pawn. It damages the child and once they realise what you’ve done later in life they’ll hate you. Let him be the father that the child deserves in their life, don’t be petty :roll_eyes:🤦

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LEAVE!!! What I will say tho is without a custody agreement if you drop your daughter off he is legally allowed to keep her and not let you see her until court is over. I’m not sure what type of guy he is but I have seen this happen on many occasions.

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Maybe it’s time to go.

#1. Doesn’t matter how he feels about you, you don’t keep the baby from it’s father unless he is a real piece of shit (abusive, drug addiction, alcoholic). Using the child to hurt him or try to manipulate him into what you want is wrong!

Next if he says he wants it to be over then so be it. What are you gonna do beg him to stay and y’all be unhappy? Clearly is he feeling this way for a reason, respect him. You’d want him to respect you? Maybe you two need a cool down period or it’s just not gonna work anymore :woman_shrugging:t3: either way, I can tell you, forcing it will only make things 100 times worse!

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Whatever has happened between you two is nothing to do with your daughter. Please do not make her and his relationship suffer. Once he has calmed down maybe you guys can look at couselling for the sake of your baby. You both need to do what is right for her and if you cant live together peacefully maybe its best you do seperate, a home with mum and dad arguing conatantly is very toxic for all involved. I hope you guys can work something out but please don’t use your baby against him, your baby was made one time or another out of love.

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First of all, never use your child as a pawn to hurt the other parent. You will only be hurting your little one.
Secondly, if he is saying you have an attitude, maybe you need to consider that and rethink how you speak to him.

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Keep the kid out of issues between you two. How he feels is how he feels. Don’t push him to talk. He will when he needs to. A new baby, the whole situation is very stressful for both. Take some cool off chill time. Some you time when he has the baby. As moms we don’t get enough me time, you both sound like you need to fix the main goal & that will take work. At the end of the day regardless how you or him feel. The child matters more

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Your child is 2 months old… y’all are sleep deprived and stressed it’s normal to be bickering and grumpy at this stage you’re both adjusting to your new life
Give him a break he probably just wants alone time
And you CANNOT keep his child away from him just because he won’t talk to you… that’s super shitty and bad parenting y’all are a team whether you’re a couple or not
Give him some space for a week or so stay somewhere else and wait for him to come to you and talk when he’s ready

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Parenting 101…childs best interest ALWAYS comes first…if you argue alot in front of the child, then you should separate…at some point you both need to decide if you really want to be together…if so, seek counseling for the arguing…
Good luck!!

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Don’t use your daughter against him. She didn’t asked to be born into this fight. It’s between you and him! Not her and him, not you and her. HIM and YOU! Honestly if that’s the way you think, you do have attitude and maybe need to grow up a bit. He sounds like he needs to grow up to, and understand you had a baby 2 months ago you are stilling changing your hormones back to normal and it’s a fight, you fight you make you you don’t break up! Maybe I’m old fashioned but my husband and I have had some struggles but we’ve fought our way through it, now we barely fight maybe a disagreement here and there but nothing major anymore.

I don’t think you ladies are giving the best advice… or any advice at all. She came here obviously to ask what she should do in hopes of saving the relationship. considering the baby is only two months old and they were engaged to be married, which you know is a serious commitment, it’s a big deal. she not just losing a boyfriend, she’s losing her family, what she thought was her future. feel for her, could ya??

I think that you should just give both of you guys some time and because you do have a child together you will be dealing with each other for the rest of your lives and you know if it’s meant to be it’ll be. don’t stress it too much, i know your hearts broken he’s being cold and you’re falling apart but be strong. be strong for your daughter and more importantly be strong for YOU. do not keep him from seeing his daughter just do you. fall back… put on your big girl panties and be the best mother you can be on your own. I promise when he sees it’s no sweat off your back and you’re stepping up to handle your own, it’ll drive him crazy. men always act right when you switch up. blowing up his phone and trying to talk just gives him “power” some men love those games…
he doesn’t want to talk right now, doesn’t have anything to say for himself so let him be. i’m sure you already made your points in your texts so give him time to chew it over. and just step up and get yourself together to handle shit on your own in the meantime. i hope for the best for you and your family. be strong mama. you can be sad on the inside, cry your eyes out at home but toughen up don’t show him that. you got this :heart:

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You know deep down what is best for you. You know that man, if you love him, TRY to work things out. Sometimes all we can do is try when the other person isn’t meeting you half way. You guys have a two-month-old, he is maybe going through things personally on top of you guys bickering which won’t make things better. You guys have to find a way to sit down and talk like adults because in 5 days, making a decision to leave your home and leave the person you were just planning on marrying just a week ago, that is too much for a person sanity sometimes, especially you, with basically a newborn. If you guys were good just days ago, he needs to grow up and you 2 have to have to sit and hear each other out. Having a baby is all so new, he needs to learn to communicate and stop ignoring you. That is childish and needs to stop, he has a baby now, childish games to end. Take your time and remember, you are your first priority. If you’re not well, your baby won’t be. She needs a happy mom. If in a few weeks he still feels the same you have to find a way to cope with co-parenting with someone who broke your heart. If only life was a straight path…

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Take a break, time apart often makes the heart grow fonder and if not then you know where you stand.

Communication is key :key: I mean no fighting no arguing just honesty. You have to be willing to see his point of view, put yourself in his shoes and he needs to be able to do the same. My partner and I done this and now we are married. We can talk to each other without fear of arguing, attitude, resentment etc. life gets hard trying to juggle babies, work, the house, yourself and being a partner to one another. Cut each other some slack.

But most importantly you love that man enough to bring a baby into this world with him. Don’t be the woman who stops a man seeing his kid because your hurt. The only person that damages is the kid, and your relationship with your daughter in the future.

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Honestly, both of you sound extremely immature. You just had a child together, and you’re breaking up over bickering & attitudes? EVERY relationship changes when you have a child. You have to be mature enough to communicate with each other, and compromise. Did you not discuss your goals and “vision” before creating a baby?! If you guys are having issues over something so minor, it’s never going to work out. The saddest part is that your child is going to suffer from this foolishness. Do not keep your daughter from her father, that cruel & unwarranted.

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Babies, whether it’s your first or not, will always put your relationship to the test- take some time apart, clear your heads, chill out, consider if there was any truth to what he said, reflect and than figure out if you want to work thinks out or if it’s in your best interests to split- in the meantime don’t use your daughter and take away a part of her security, a part of her love, a part of her trust and a part of her self confidence because you feel he’s being cold. Everyone handles stress and emotions differently- when I’m stressed I tend to get short/ I sometimes have a tone or I say something snarky. My partner get quiet, and kinda withdraws for an evening- eventually we talk- we calm down and hear each other out- sometimes I’m
Apologizing cause I’m wrong, other time’s it’s him. Sometimes both of us were assholes. This all sounds like it’s just a stressful
Time and y’all just need a little bit of space and clearer communication, good luck- but please don’t put your little girl in the middle of this.

Your child dosent need to grow up hearing or seeing it.
Keeping a child from there father because he wants to leave and is being cold to you is pathetic.
Sounds like hes made his decision.

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Do NOT keep your child from her father because he doesn’t want to be with you.

Wait for him to talk, there’s nothing you can say or do that will make him change his mind. He has to make that decision on his own.

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You don’t keep his child away from him because he’s cold towards you.
Don’t use your child as a pawn, that’s immature and not fair and very selfish.
Give him time to think and respect his decision, hopefully after he’s cooled off he will think more clear.
Hope you’re OK :heart: it’ll all work out in the end x

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Fuk him off! He dont wanna be there so… he was lookin for a reason!

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Uhhh you don’t keep his child from him because he won’t be with you. That’s so so wrong.

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Omg I wish we could talk on the phone. I am 100% opposite of all this crappy things people are saying to you.
You don’t need to leave. HE DOES!!! You have the baby and inconveniencing yourself by staying somewhere else? No way. He is tired. He wants a break. He just wants to do him for awhile. So be it. He can take his break somewhere else!!! You are giving him what he wants by leaving. He loves the break you are giving him. Nope! “You are not happy daddy??” “Well I am so sorry that you think I am the only female in the world that bickers and nags!” WAKE UP COWBOY- we all do it from time to time!!!
You tell him you have had time to think. You march up in your house and tell him to pack his tampons and panties and get out. You are not weak. You are a mother. A woman. You got this!!
As for the baby… you can’t make him want to be a father. If he isn’t asking about the baby or trying to make arrangements to see, then the baby is better off with you until he starts to act right.
Things might get better but they also might not. It can take years and years for some men to mature and settle down. They are not all wired for it.
You did not do anything wrong. You will be okay without him. You can do this. It will get easier every day. I promise :heart:
A 2 month old baby needs its momma. The cry baby man that is calling himself “dad” right now is purely optional for now if he isn’t interested. That is his loss 100%. Not yours.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Good luck :heart:

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Seems a little fishy, sounds like hes been looking at someone else with lustful eyes. Its very different after having a child everything is. Get yourself in a good place. Eat right, file for child support right away, take care of the baby. I only say I think he’s looking elsewhere because his excuse is seriously petty. He wont even answer the phone? Just focus on yourself and your baby That’s what matters right now. Its hard enough that your child is just an infant. Look for family for support. Good luck with everything :heart:

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He doesn’t want you anymore. Simple as that. As far as your child is concerned your relationship with him does not matter. If he is a good dad he should still see her regardless of whether you hate each other. That comment right there is why women have such bad reps as mothers. My ex treated me like absolute dogshit but never in front of our daughter …i never withheld my child because he was cruel to me. My current partner cannot see his kids no matter how hard he tries because of a baby momma that is just mad she can’t have him. Women need to grow up. He does not want you.

Some of your comments make me sick. I feel horrible for your kids. Women who withhold their children only for their reasons are pathetic…if he’s a shit dad ok if he simply doesn’t want YOU anymore get over it. He probably won’t answer her because all she wants is to whine to get him back and doesn’t even discuss the child. Sometimes i am ashamed to be a woman

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First off, grow up and don’t use the child as a way to get back at him for ANYTHING. The only reason to keep a child from the other parent is if it were unsafe for the child to be with them!

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He’s probably seeing someone else especially if he ain’t answering you whenever you call or text sorry not sorry

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Holy shit, so many of you are cold hearted and being really nasty. I’ve felt this same exact way. She’s not saying keeping her child away forever but maybe over the weekend if the husband is acting like an asshole? Makes sense to me. It’s a tense situation, emotions run high. Everyone saying he’s seeing someone else, maybe, maybe not, but your bluntness is fucking ridiculous. This is someone’s entire life we are talking about. Miserable people on here who need to get tf off this page if they’re not going to offer valid advice. If you’re reading this, take some time apart. Talk it over soon, it’ll be ok no matter what the outcome :heart:

Babies are a strain on any relationship because noones getting any sleep, there’s no time for each other, and lack of time for ourselves creates unnesary attitudes towards one another. Both of u need 2 sit down and have a conversation at what might be a root 2 ur issues. Give him some time and space then have the convo u might get back together but if he truly feels that way u won’t be able 2 force the relationship on him he will just end up resenting u and the child

Unfortunately sounds like he was looking for a reason.

Whatever u do, don’t use ur baby as a pawn because u r mad at him. That is incredibly childish and ur only hurting ur child by keeping her from her father.

Don’t Make This Easy On Him!!!
Tell HIM to get out!
Let him worry about where to go, & find a couch to sleep on.
Easier for one man to do, than a mother, & child.
And He’ll have to pay child support.

When a couple disagree or have their feelings hurt. There needs to be a discussion so that you both can move forward and be closer. If it becomes a fight where someone has to win. That means you have to make your partner the looser. If there is name calling our screaming. You will both loose. If you have a disagreement try to solve it in a way that you are closer at the end. We all have to own up to what we bring into the argument. Good or bad. No one can change that except you. If you do something that is hurtful apologies for it. Starting by owning up to what toxic behavior you bring into an argument can help calm it down. It will also give your partner hope for a better outcome and allow them a opportunity to apologize for anything they might have said or done. Kindness turns away anger.

Remember that if you leave and have a sign lease you are still responsible! But if you can get out of the lease let him go! He needs to realize that relationships come with problems but you can’t just walk away! You have a child together, and if you do leave don’t make it easy for you to come back!

First things first, you don’t keep a baby away from a parent.
Secondly, babies test relationships. Always. My boyfriend amd i never had fights until i had our daughter. We’d have small arguments about stupid stuff but never fight. Few months ago we had a fight and I was convinced he was going to leave but we both simmered the heck down for a bit and sat down to talk like adults. He had the same issue, my attitude. I was convinced i didn’t have one but you can be 100% i did in fact have one. Changed the way i spoke to him even when we argue and we’ve been fine since.
HOWEVER, if he is dead set on leaving, there isn’t much you can do other then accept it and figure out an agreement for co-parenting

There’s two sides to every story. It takes two people to fight. But the question here should be, do you want your daughter to grow up and see you putting up with a man like that? Most women choose a partner based off their dad. Think about your daughter in this situation.

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Don’t do that to your daughter it’s his kid why take it out on her if he don’t wanna be with you

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Don’t stop him seeing your kid that’s pathetic. You need to talk it out and come to the choice work on it or go seperate ways but never include ur kid on any arguments

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First and foremost, never use your child as a pawn. Don’t be spiteful. She is his daughter too. And if he is a good father and good provider for her, why would you want to hurt her in the process of hurting him?
Now, in regards to his behavior towards you, ask yourself what would you tell your daughter if she was in your shoes? Would you want her to beg a man for his love? Your baby is what, 2 months? A new baby is usually a big stressor to new parents. I would say maybe just take a little time apart. Let things work themselves out. But never beg a man to love you. Know your worth. Set a good example for your daughter.

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Sounds to me that he has made up his mind it’s over. If he is a good dad and your daughter is safe with him then you should never keep her from him …no matter how cold he is to you …as long as he is not to her . It’s not her fault and she should not be punished for it

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Sounds like he’s checked out of the relationship. Sue for child support and leave the situation. I’m so sorry for your pain. Bringing children into an unstable family is unfair to the child. You’re an adult but you’ve made mistakes. Staying with him would be your next one.

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I understand that you might be hurting but you should let him see his daughter. Do not put children in the middle. The child doesn’t deserve that.
Even though you are hurting, you need to put it aside, your daughter is more important than your anger.
Now as for your relationship. Reflect on what he’s saying. Are you truly happy? Do you really want to make this work with him? Maybe seek counseling. I would give him time to think things through then ask him to sit down and chat. Relationships are about give and take, compromise and communication.

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Love isnt just a feeling it’s a action. It’s sticking together even when you fight, you both have to accept each others flaws. If your not on the same page then your dating for heartbreak not a future together. Don’t hold the child against him being a crappy boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t be a good father. Just because you guys don’t work doesn’t mean be bitter and have the child suffer for it.

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Don’t stop him from seeing his kid, but it sounds like he has another woman

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F him ! He’s not making an effort to meet you half way , if he’s letting you walk , keep walking and don’t look back :v:

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I’d give him space. & Hes prolly expecting you to hold your daughter against him, show him you’re better than that. Kids shouldn’t be in the middle of your relationship with each other.

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Idk girl just Don’t be A bitter Baby stealer🤷

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Don’t punish your daughter for your relationship failing. If he’s not happy and wants out of the relationship, you can’t force him to change his decision. A child is not a pawn.
Don’t be hung up on someone who doesn’t want you.

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Wow why are you trying to use your child as a pawn already?
Give him space everyone deserves time to think.

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If you have the home together why do you have to leave? I’m assuming you have the baby, stay in your house. Keep the baby in her home. If he wants to leave, let him leave, but don’t keep someones kids from them because you are mad at them.

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If he’s ending it over “attitude” when you argue, he’s looking for an excuse to get out. It sucks but it’s true. Best to move on.

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Do you have an attitude? You both have to admit your faults and work on them. But if there’s no love anymore then don’t even bother. Don’t use his daughter against him. That’s a shit move.

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Why force something that isn’t their ?? Be smart and always remember your kids should always come first period…

Move on men are not worth the headache these days. Men argue because they want a distraction to do something else. I’ve kept my child away from his dad during a toxic situation he put me through, I pushed that baby out of my vagina. Once the air cleared then we worked on co-parenting. Children shouldn’t be amongst arguments/fights. Btw my son is 11 now and sees his dad multiple days of the week

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Don’t hold his child as a pawn and Never let a man tell you twice that he doesn’t want you. That last part was Judge Toler.

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Don’t use your kid as a pawn. Your an awful person if you do that. If he don’t wanna be with you the leave him be. It’s gonna be okay. But DO NOT use the kid as a pawn!!

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Don’t let your relationship with him get in the way of his relationship with his daughter, I get why you’d feel bitter towards his actions, but he deserves to be a father, not every child gets the chance to have a father. Take some time apart, evaluate your relationship, go to counselling, and see what works for the both of you. You might find that you want to make it work, or you might find that you’re better off not being in a romantic relationship, but can successfully have a coparenting relationship, it’ll take some time to figure it out, and in the meantime, push your feelings aside and allow him to see his daughter.

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Yeeah i think hes right, your attitude is shitt…WHY would u not let him see his daughter-how spiteful of a mother can u be?..Mothers who use there child/ren as pawns dont deserve to happy…

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So you are trying to be just as petty now by clearing stating you aren’t going to let him see his daughter cause now you don’t like his attitude?:thinking:

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Your daughter is not a pawn to use as leverage to get him to talk to you. If he doesn’t want to be around you let him leave and leave him alone. You and your daughter should not be forced out of your home if he wants out let him leave. He is obviously looking for any excuse to end the relationship so why force him if he doesn’t want to be with you? Find someone who loves you and your daughter as you should be loved. Don’t teach your daughter that she has to beg and manipulate to get a man to love her properly.

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My man has been telling me for 9 years that I have an attitude LOL we would split and get back together, had a kid, things got bad, because well… Being new parents is F’n hard!! We’d fight, and go back and forth, not speak, you get the idea. We eventually worked through everything, and realized what’s important.
Give him space, and you take this time to figure out what you really want and, is best for you and, your daughter. If you gotta work some shit, work on it! No one is perfect. What’s meant to be will be, and if he’s moved on, it’ll hurt, but life will go on, even tho it don’t feel like it will right now. Just breath and enjoy your baby, congratulations.

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Sounds like you took him for granted and he’s tired of it. He doesn’t want to be with you. The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you can move on with your life.

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I would delete this post if I were you because he can use this in court saying you are already attempting to keep his child from him for no good reason but you’re mad he’s leaving you and won’t answer your call!!

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If he doesn’t want to be with you, then just move on but that’s no reason to keep his daughter from him. It doesn’t make him cold hearted because he doesn’t want to be with you

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Go home if you own the house

It doesn’t hurt to try and speak with him about saving your relationship, if that is what you want. Do not force him, and don’t keep your child from him as a punishment. That isn’t fair to your kid.
If he doesn’t want to talk or make up, respect that, and take care of yourself. Help yourself heal and just be the best momma you can be. If it is meant to be, it will be. Good luck to you.

DO NOT KEEP HIS CHILD FROM HIM EVER! EVER

Unless he is abusive towards his child you NEVER deny him his child. EVER

This is an issue between you and him. Your child is not to be put into the middle of that. EVER

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please don’t use your daughter in adult problems, he should be able to see his daughter, that’s still her daddy, and keeping her from him will make her resent you

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Whatever is going on between the two of you should not affect the child. Do not keep him from her.

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A child doesn’t make it work or should make a person stay it will only work if both of y’all want it to your child didn’t ask to be here and shouldn’t have to deal with adult problems you loved that person enough at one time to have a child with him and that is part of your child so if or when you do talk negative about them in front of your child you are disrespecting the child my ex did a horrible thing to me and I will never be able to forgive him but I dnt want my child to knw that he did that because I dnt ever want him to think different of his dad and your child shouldn’t be a bargaining tool either cause if he doesn’t want to be there then why would you want him if there if he doesn’t want to be and your child shouldn’t have to see y’all fighting cause if y’all are miserable then so is your child so if someone is just staying for the child staying for the wrong reason

I read somewhere that their a study that was done on couple who fright are more in love with each other then couple who dont fright . I wish i could remember were i seen that.

can’t make him love you or be with you it’s best just just two separate like he says cut your ties however your child is still his child he wants to leave you not his child leave the child out of it you will only hurt your child later on and children grow up to know the truth.