Little back story my two kids and I moved in with my fiance and his 2 kids, we have all 4 full time. His 2 aren’t into any travel sports and really sports in a competitive level at all. My daughter is almost 11 and has done All Star cheer going on her 4th season. She has busted her butt to be where she is, main flier & working in her full & layouts. (In cheer world this is a top level skill, she has worked tirelessly to get here). With All Star cheer comes some travel, especially since we live in the middle of no where, he feels she shouldn’t cheer because the other 3 kids don’t get to do travel sports. Its not that they don’t get too, his oldest is almost 14 and never has, because his mom & dad didn’t get him into it. I am the one who turned my daughter towards cheer & she happened to love it. My parents 100% supported us and if we showed the dedication and hardwork at something then we had their endless support. This is how I am with my kids, his kids as well. If one of the other 3 came to us and wanted to join a team they would absolutely be able too. I am not in anyway going to stop them.
I guess my point is am I wrong for letting my daughter continue to cheer? Just because my life changed and I moved my kids from their hometown & school I dont feel I should rip her from Cheer as well. I dont know what to do to get him to understand the time, love & hardwork she has put into this. Its the one thing I feel that’s keeping her grounded right now. Should I make her stop?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance and I have had an ongoing disagreement about my daughter and cheering
If he wants his kids to do those things then he can sign them up himself. Your daughter shouldn’t have to stop anything.
Support your child. I don’t understand how anyone would want to take something away from someone that makes them happy and gives her sense of purpose. Support her!! If this is what makes her happy, you can afford it then do so. Encourage the other kids to do something they love too. A lot of successful sportsman are only UP ON TOP because one or both parents pushed, supported and encouraged them. Hopefully fiance will understand, if not, well dump him. Sorry but your kids well being is much more important than someone trying to stop her from enjoying her life and stopping you from being a great supportive parent
Look at it this way, if you allow the man in your life to make life changing decisions for your daughter because he doesn’t like something, you are teaching her that a man decides what happens in her life.
You let her cheer. You cheer her on. You be her biggest fan, biggest support, and her confidant.
You are teaching her hard work = reward. Don’t let her hard work amount to nothing because of someone else.
Whatever you do DO NOT FORCE HER TO STOP 1) possible full ride to college 2) if she loves it and you make her stop she will resent you 3) if he wants fair get the others active DO NOT PUNISH (and thats what it would be) her for loving a sport. Both my nieces played/play softball- summer league when they were young, school once older and travel ball. The oldest quit when she tired of it 2 years before graduating but the younger, she is 17 being actively recruited was supposed to go with the groups teaching softball around the world to make softball an olympic sport but covid stopped that. You want to be her support always
Nope your child comes first let her live her dreams!
I would definitely not stop her my step mother did something simular to my dad with me growing up as a child and I can tell you I resented them both and my step brothers and sisters my whole life and didn’t until my step mother got ill and put in a nursing home years later build back my relationship ship with my father. You will regret it if you let him my decisions that effect your daughtets life especially unfair decisions as this one would be. You may loose her for a very long time.
No! Why make ur daughter suffer because he won’t let his kids do something they want to do. Tell him she’s going to continue doing what she loves and he is just going to have to get used to it. Also he should be more supportive of his kids and their interests
Don’t you dare make that child stop cheering! That is all.
Absolutely NOT! My daughter is a level 7 gymnast. We can’t afford it, but it is her passion. She works her butt off 16+ hrs / week at the gym and maintains an honor roll report card to be able to do this, so we hustle. We do all the fundraisers. We return donated cans and bottles for their deposit. We yard sale. I pick up odd jobs. We scrape and scrimp so she can reap the rewards of her time and dedication to this sport. It would devastate her if we suddenly made her stop. She will resent if not hate your SO if he makes you do this to her. My son had the chance to travel w/ a sport, but his heart wasn’t into it so he stopped. He isn’t jealous of his sister’s travels b/c he sees how hard she works for it.
Definitely dont stop her. Thats her passion! Your teaching her that hard work and dedication comes with rewards. She clearly loves it and is good at it so why take that away from her. Maybe sit down with the family, find out what everyones interests and hobbies are and see if there is anything that can be done for them aswell. But under no circumstances should you stop your daughter from cheering, unless it is was SHE wants. Xx
I see all women replying, so here’s what a guy thinks ( well, this one anyways ). She HAS TO continue with what she started! Especially if she loves it that much! Try taking away his hobby, or hockey or whatever he’s into, he probably wouldn’t like it and would become resentful, and that’s exactly what will happen to your daughter. He needs to get his act together and get with the cheer program! He should also try to get his kids into something and use your daughter as an example. Good luck with whatever you decide, just don’t take her out of it because of him.
So… you’re asking… should you take away something from your daughter that not only she loves but she has worked so hard to accomplish? Are you for real? Why would you even ask? Yes. Take it away. Lets set your daughter up to learn that no matter how much work she puts in, she won’t get to have squat… wow. HOWEVER… there isn’t travel in ONLY sports. If the kids want to travel then have them get into organizations like FCCLA and Teen Leadership. If they are too lazy to work for it then screw 'em. Not your problem.
You will only be teaching her to put a man first instead of herself and her dreams
Absolutely not. If it’s something she loves and has worked hard for, no. Don’t make her stop. Make sure you tell him that if his kids were interested in some sort of sport, you would be supportive and make it happen too. But if not, you can’t force it. If he can’t understand that, then nah girl! You and your kids deserve better!
I’m not even understanding why this is a question. He knew this was the way things are when he was dating you and still proposed. Why should her sport change because his kids don’t compete. That’s weird. And selfish. I’m not telling you what to do. But I would really have to think hard about a relationship with a man if he was trying that crap with my kid. You’re not even married yet. Imagine once you are.
Let her cheer! Not every child has to do the same thing. If he would like for them to be in sports or have interest in something then you both can encourage them to join something but please don’t take her joy away because of the other kids. My son swims so he has swim meets in different towns. I have asked my other boys if they wanted to do any sort of sport and they have declined. They understand that we have to go here or there for my oldest. They also know I would do the same for them if they were on a team/organization.
Also your child endured a significant change (the move you made) and the best thing to do for her is keep as much the same as possible. Taking away her cheer after you moved her will only hurt her
Keep her in cheer. Not her fault he hasn’t put his kids in “travel sports” seems selfish on his end to do that to a child.
Sounds like he’s jealous and no you shouldn’t make your daughter suffer because of it. He could’ve had his kids doing travel sports but chose not to. That’s on him not you.
I think you know the answer to this. You sound like a great mother with a good head on your shoulders. Why in the world should your child have to give up something she loves? The fact that he even suggests it is sketchy.
No way don’t stop her. She’s worked hard for this and loves it. There is nothing stopping him from signing his kids up to anything and taking them. Let her be the champion she has been working tirelessly for.
Do not make that poor little girl stop something she loves. That could make her feel some sort of way or teach her she cant achieve on life just because some “guy” doesn’t like it. Please don’t do that to her she worked so hard and she shouldn’t suffer because he didn’t let his kids do stuff.
No way in Hell would I make my daughter STOP Doing Cheer as she works hard and loves to do it .Other half can stay home when you have to travel .keep up your great work of supporting Your daughter with it .
Stand your ground and let your daughter continue the one thing that she has worked so hard at and loves to do. He should be supportive as well.
That’s ridiculous. If she loves it let her do it. If she loves it and you take it away from her, you could ruin your relationship with her. If he continues to be like that, then he’s not the one. He should support her too. Like you said if one of the other kids wanted to have a sport passion they can.
I’d dump the fiance lol But seriously make it a family affair, travel is fun gives the family a chance to take a little road trip together. Maybe the other kids will be encouraged to get involved in sports or other activities. Your daughter deserves to keep going and doing what she loves, if the man doesn’t understand that go with my first suggestion lol Good luck mama 
100% do not let her stop from what you have said it sounds like she absolutely loves it and it’s doing great at it and if it is ground her and keeping that one thing going for her that she’s always done then take her make him understand that a little bit of travel for her to go isn’t a problem and like you said if the other kids want to get into something then they can just because they’re not into something doesn’t mean she has to stop her cheer each child is different.
Let her cheer! I grew up with 4 siblings & only 1 of them played any type of sports. Us two had the newest gloves, bats, cleats, cheer shoes, basketball shoes, & our parents traveled all over the state to cheer us on while the others did their own thing but it wasn’t because they weren’t given the opportunity. Had my other siblings chose to play sports or do anything of the sort then our parents would’ve followed them all over as well but they simply chose not to do sports. If she loves it & has worked so hard, then let her do it!
No! Don’t make her stop. When we moved from NWA to Dermott my daughter had to give up EVERYTHING:-( Traveling with us was cheer and basketball. After I married traveling for swim was family time. Don’t let him run over you!!
No way keep her in. The others should find their way in life as to what their interests are and go with it. Keep your daughter doing what she loves as you said it keeps her grounded. And she’ll resent you if you make her stop.
I am figuring that the blended family is not working too well. Especially if you feel the need to ask this here. It could also be you feeling guilty about having got into this marriage and now not so sure who or what to choose to sacrifice. You know if you side with your daughters sport that could drive a bigger wedge between you and her stepdad. You need to look at your whole situation (marriage) and it’s really up to you to make a decision that you can live with.
Just because the other kids don’t do sports or want to do any sports doesn’t mean she has to quit doing what she likes.
Dump the man if it keeps your kids down. They did not choose him you did, but as a mother your #1 priority is those kids! Simple as that she has worked her ass off and to stop her from what she loves is wrong. He can get with the program or leave him behind
No way. My daughter was a competitive gymnast for years and then switch to comp cheer and we travelled as well. It taught her so many lessons about hard work, dedication and teamwork. Plus it keeps their focus on something productive than the other things that can sway them as they get older with peer pressure etc. My daughter had to quit at 16 because of an elbow injury and she was lost for awhile without that to focus on and all this free time. She went through almost 2 years of challenging behaviour before getting back on track again. Those years of comp sport are beautiful memories and helped define the young woman she is today. Never squash your child’s passions- she’ll resent you and you’ll regret it
Absolutely not.
like you said, if the other children wanted to be in a spot, and have the option to travel. They could. But they chose not to. So that doesn’t mean take this experience away from your daughter.
No way! Something she loves so much and is obv very good at is amazing for her to continue
Not in a million years would I make her STOP cheering just cuz the other kids aren’t in travel sports that’s not her fault!! If she loves cheer keep doing it, if u take it away it mite do more harm than good. If he feels that way tell him to put them kids in travel sports and keep it moving. Cheer mite be her outlet at times VB and she mite feel some type of way towards everyone if she is taken out for that reason. If it was me I’d tell him either get on board or take several seats back cuz she is gonna do cheer !!!
My sister did competitive cheer, I didn’t. I supported all her competitions and she would go to my soccer games. My parents rule was if you wanna do a sport fine but you support your sibling.
Do not stop letting her cheer just because of him. Don’t change things just because you moved in together. Your daughter will resent you for it!! That’s not your fault his kids choose not to get into sports. Keep letting your baby cheer! Tell your man “ this is just something your gonna have to get use to” and make it end of discussion…
Your daughter’s dream shouldn’t be crushed because the other 3 haven’t do anything with their lives yet.
Let her cheer
Encourage the others to pursue their own type of hobby and assist them in it when possible
Tell you’re husband to sit down and hush until he has an idea that is fair to everyone
I’d rethink that whole relationship honestly. If he met you with her doing something she loves why should she stop because his kids aren’t into sports like she is? Not fair at all
Let that baby cheer. If the others wanted to do something they’d tell you or dad . She shouldn’t the punished because the others don’t want to do anything
Keep her in cheer. If you take her from something she loves now at this time in her life, she could resent you and the dad. That’s something that’s hers and shouldn’t be taken cause the other kids aren’t into things.
You might have to tell that man to walk.He has no right to make decisions about YOUR child.I bet he wouldn’t have an issue if that travel money was going towards him and HIS kids.Continue to support your children.If you don’t,who will.Think twice about this guy.This is just the beginning of many issues he will have about your kids.Then it will be educational opportunities they earn,then any support you offer them and families in the future.It will always be something.
Absolutely not. She should get to continue what she loves. As long as all children know they can do these things too if they choose to. Making her stop could/will case resentment towards all of siblings and stepdad.
Absolutely continue to let her do something she loves, my daughter is a ballet dancer she is almost 6 but this is her third year I don’t drive and Uber her to and from with my hubby’s support. Maybe find out if the kids have an interest in something and then sign them up
Think about this part also, Obviously she was doing cheer when you met, Did he support it before you moved in, this may be just the tip of the iceberg for lack of supporting you and is lack of supporting you and your Kids Activities, If he isn’t supporting you now and you’re not even married yet, comma I would think about that seriously
No why would she stop just because the other kids don’t want to do it lol ask the other when he’s there if they want to do sports lol but no don’t stop x
No no and no change fiancé wth is wrong with him
Your daughter absolutely gets to keep doing cheer and do not let him deter you from allowing her too!!
No do make her stop. You also chose to move in with him.You should have thought about that before moving in with him.
Don’t pull her out of something she loves & works hard towards.
Thats the kind of man you want to be with. You shouldn’t even be questioning it. Your daughter should come first.
Cheaper then rehab. Keep cheering 
You’d be fucked up to stop her from cheering over a man period
So basically just gonna teach her coz someone else is a lazy bum u should be aswell sounds right
No. Let her keep doing what she loves. Don’t take that away from her. Keep on. Keeping on. You doing great.
Let her cheer. As Long as it’s what she wants to do and enjoys doing it let her do it.
She enjoys it keep at it others don’t want to their choice
No,no support and her. Don’t deprive her of what she’s good.
He’s jealous that she gets to travel and his children don’t do anything
You’re not wrong. His mindset is all kinds of fucked up. Let your baby girl do her thing.
No, I would definitely not take her out of cheer. It’s not her fault she enjoys it and the other kids don’t have a passion for sports, which is fine. I have 4 kids and not all of them are athletic.
No. He should stop with the jealous and selfish, controlling behavior
No! Why make your daughter suffer for your man!
#allstarcheermom here. Do not stop her.
Do not make her stop. You know the right answer here. If the other kids want to travel have them try out for band or something. I traveled everywhere in marching band. And if they can’t play an instrument the band will no doubt let them come on the trips to help carry equipment. Don’t be feeling bad about this. They’re opportunities they just gotta want it.
I have 4, children and moved in my my fiance and his 2. My children have always done sports while his children never have because of my fiance and his ex’s work schedule. I wouldn’t stop my child from doing something they have always done and loved because he feels it’s “unfair”. If he wanted to sign his children up for something, he could but has chosen not to. Support your child.
She won’t forgive you if u make her stop.
This is a major flag for several reasons! Stop the wedding. Even if there are other factors involved, maybe some you didn’t list, (is money one?) you sound like your priorities are clouded.
No!!! She is your kid not jis
Hell no . She worked her tail off to get where she is. I wouldn’t do that to my kid no matter what. If he feels bad for his kids then put them in a sport or activity that allows them to travel
It will only get worse. Cut your losses and move on. He’s only a fiancé. Heck no don’t make her stop, make HIM stop or ditch him.
You know you shouldn’t take her out.
I’m sorry he is a lazy parent. Not your daughters fault. Why would you change so much about your kids life to appease him and the fact that his kids don’t do squat. Not gonna happen!! I would cut ties and move out in a snap over my kids. Nobody is going to make them feel shitty for being great. That’s not how the real world works. He is setting his kids up for failure and teaching a grown man how to parent correctly is just not something full time moms have the time for smdh
No… I hate sports, always have. But if my kid got into one and really loved it and was good at it, you bet your ass I’d support them. Your daughter shouldn’t have to stop something she loves and has worked hard for just because his kids don’t do anything. That’s just a really stupid logic. I hope you continue to let her do her thing. If you didn’t, I feel she would grow to resent the both of you.
H*'s not being fair and h* doesn’t care it seems like. Sounds like trying to use Anything to justify not spending the money on cheer. If it’s inhibiting your ability to allow other things that benefit the whole family, I can get where h*'s coming from. Cheer is EXPENSIVE. But to take away something probably hr whole life revolves around? Pretty cruel if you ask me.
Are all the other kids feeling like second fiddle to hr? Could this be the issue h*'s having? I mean…to me it just sounds like h*'s trying to save money but it could be genuine concern for the other kids emotional well being 
She will start to resent him, first her home & school (where all her friends are) now he wants her to stop participating in something she is passionate about. Do not allow this
Wait! Why goes she have to stop? ALL the kids should keep their activities
These are Co parenting decisions. The two of you need to work it out. Getting others to comment isn’t healthy. You have to decide…am I in a healthy relationship?
You didnt discuss this before you all gathered and is it costly
Im confused as to why this is even a question
Make your dude stop trying to take his laziness out on your child. No matter who comes at you stupid about something good for your child, you slap that sh*t the f**k down!
Let her keep doing it
Absolutely NOTTTTTTTTTTT
No let her keep doing her
She will resent both of you
Fuck that and fuck him, simply put.
Nope.
Let her keep cheering! And if he doesn’t understand or get it. Then he’s obviously not the man you thought and it’s time to move on.
I wouldn’t take her from something she likes! She’s your daughter, your choice to support her is the right choice- you’re a brilliant Mum!
You can love and treat all 4 kids equally, without treating and loving them exactly the same.
Nurture their individual passions, support them in a way they need, not all kids love in the same way. They’re 4 different kids, different personalities.
Its not fair to stop her just because the other 3 arent into sport to the same extent (or at all). And its selfish of your fiance to try
Absolutely not!! You should be her #1 cheerleader for all the hard work and dedication that goes into competitive cheer! That’s a very sad thing for your fiancé to say and could be a red flag 
as to yours and his kids conflicts.
I’m sorry and I don’t mean to be harsh, but what you’re wrong for is even asking this question. That’s your child and if she works hard at what she is doing and wants to do it and you can afford it then there should be no question.
Thats your child ,A partners opinion that isnt her paternal parent should never even be a question your kid matters more then a man if he dont like it he has to lump it his kids dont want to do sports that should not mean your little girl should stop, just because you have moved in with him does not mean he rules
Hell no!!! don’t take her passion away just because the other kids don’t have passion for sports…thats wrong of him to even ask that of you!!! All we have anymore in this day and age is our passions and our dreams, nobody should ask another person to give up their dreams!!!
Absolutely NOT!!’ Support YOUR daughter and obviously if the other children want to do something then so be it! He should support your decision- as you said- your children have been uprooted and had too many changes in their young lives. Leave the poor child doing what she enjoys! No man is worth having your child upset and resentful towards you. Plus you are not setting a good example for your daughter’s by not standing up for her(them) and for yourself!
My sister in law got a full ride to college because of cheerleading, you let that little girl cheer her heart out if that’s what she wants.
Keep her in it. If he doesn’t understand then to dang bad. Like you said it’s not your fault he didn’t get his kids into travel sports. Keep her in it. She is going places in life! 
Your doing a great job momma