QUESTION:
"Is it wrong for your fiancé to follow women on social media that post half-naked pictures every day? My fiancé and I have been together for five years and have two children together. One is 2, and the other is eight months.
My body has changed a lot and I’m very insecure about it. My fiancé never really followed women like that before, and today I noticed a picture as he was scrolling on Facebook (he even stopped scrolling to look at it), and when I asked him about it he laughed it off but it made me feel terrible that he’s looking at women like that all the time.
We’ve talked about this before and I thought that was the end of it but I guess not."
RELATED QUESTION: My Fiancé Recorded Something Provocative from a Female Friend on Snapchat: Advice?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Ladies, never let any man make you feel insecure about yourselves. Men who are engaging in this behavior are absolutely wrong and are essentially cheating! The sad thing is, this cheating behavior starts with looking at other women online, and then when that gets old, it escalates to other forms of cheating. Tell your men to shape up or ship out!”
“I stare more at naked woman than my husband does I wonder if he feels this way. I think women are all beautiful in their own way; we are gorgeous queens.”
“The sad thing is that so many people will defend this type of behavior and criticize you for having an issue with this. Maybe not all men will have the “one thing leads to another” but it seems to start with lusting over other women and will probably lead to something else. First looking online. Next liking the pictures or videos. Next fantasies. Next, messaging. Before you know it…bam, meeting in person. If it hurts you and he doesn’t care about that, then how can he ever say that he truly cares about you. You don’t continually and purposefully hurt someone you love. I’m sorry for what you are going through.”
“I say yes, because they start following then they start messaging and sending their own pics back and forth and then asking to meet up, etc.”
“If you are uncomfortable that’s something you need to work on as a woman. And he needs to work on as a partner. When you are comfortable in your own skin, and comfortable within your relationship, something on Facebook shouldn’t upset you. In my relationship, I have absolutely no problem with this, or porn or other women complimenting him. In other relationships, this would have destroyed me. So don’t feel like I’m in any way saying this is on you. I’m just giving perspective. This could be about your moral compass, your religion, or just your plain opinion. And all of that is ok. But if he’s not shady, if you are confident in your skin, if y’all are happy, then something so silly as a picture or a half-naked woman shouldn’t be an issue. And if it really really really is. Then he needs to respect that. And your feelings.”
“Pick your battles. Really, just because we are taken doesn’t mean we just stop thinking others are attractive. I’ve been in a relationship for 12.5 years. I don’t care who he looks at and he doesn’t care who looks at. It’s not cheating, it’s normal.”
“This all depends on what you are okay with. Me, personally, I could care less. But to some women, it is a deal-breaker. Communicate with him. Let him know it bothers you. If this continues, even after you expressed your feelings, then he has no respect and you should not be with a person who doesn’t respect or value your feelings.”
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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:
I think women are all beautiful in their on way we are gorgeous queens
really,just because we are taken doesnt mean we just stop thinking others are attractive. Ive been in a relationship for 12.5yrs. I dont care who he looks at and he doesnt care whoni look at. Its not cheating, its normal
no but to me it’s more of a respect thing but would it bother me no only if he started messaging or taking or started ignoring me and acting like I don’t exist than I’d have an issue or if he started enjoying them more than me that would be an issue but looking at someone and touching are two different things or messaging someone and taking to them is different than there’s an issue being insecure is a hard place to be I definitely understand that I used to be but you can’t let a man predict how you feel about yourself sounds like you need to work on yourself not trying to sound rude or disrespectful I’m saying if you work on yourself and learn to love yourself and love the skin your in and remember your worthy than you wouldn’t have all these insecurities and it wouldn’t bother you and remember it’s not cheating until he crosses a line
