My fiance is mentally abusive and I want to leave: Adivce?

I have been with my fiancé for six years now, and we have one son together. However, over the last two years, things have been extremely rough with our relationship. The verbal, emotional, and mental abuse I get almost weekly, if not daily. I want to leave, but I am scared that that won’t be the right decision because I want to move back to Texas where I am from with our son just because I have a better support system there, whereas here in Georgia, we have nobody here except one person. I also feel like six years is a long time to just throw in the towel, especially with our son, but I am so drained from dealing with this. Another thing that’s bothering me about this decision is that when I think of him with someone else, it infuriates me because I do love him, but I know I can’t stay in this cycle! Is moving to another state (where I am from) a good idea, or do I stay here and just do it completely on my own.


Staying in an abusive relationship is never healthy I would suggest moving back home where you would have the support of your family


Leave!!! ESPECIALLY since you have a support system to go to! Your child is probably traumatized from seeing the shit his “father” does to you! Do you want your son treating his future wife that way?!!

Leave hate to say but 1 day your son could be looking at you in a casket. Js. Abuse is never good.


Just a hunch…military family? I wear the cape and crown of that! Abuse escalates always! When you can no longer be controlled by verbal, emotional or mental abuse it’s a quick trip to control by finances, home restrictions and into DV! Been through it all. Suggest taking to an attorney for a consult. Find out the process of leaving the state with your child before you make decisions. Find a safe place… A friend he doesn’t know about for emergencies. PM me if you want to chat OP. No judgement. HUGS!


Move. I had to make the same decision. I was in an emotional, verbal & mentally abusive marriage. I had to leave because the abuse wouldn’t stop. I felt like I cut my right arm off when I left. Move it will hurt like hell in the beginning but you will be doing the right thing.

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Leave for your safety and your child’s. I have never been abused but know people that’s been in those relationships it’s not good so go back home where you have family that loves you. Praying for you


Take it from me and leave. The longer you wait the worse it get. It’s not healthy on you or the child. It’s better to live in 2 happy homes then 1 broken one. He will not change


Leave or your son will believe abusing women is ok because you allow it, not to mention being a happy mom, you’ll be a better mom. Wasting 6 years is better than wasting 7 or more.


It never gets better

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Make a plan, and decide when. Stick with it and don’t hesitate. No matter the abuse, it does not stop. Staying longer, teaches your child that this type of treatment is acceptable and allowable. Check with state laws concerning parental and child rights. Most importantly, dont be afraid, you’ve already started the process by reaching out for advice. :heart:


Unfortunately u can’t just leave the state with your child if that child is his as well. You have to give him 30 days written notice that your leaving sho he had time to fight it if he wants. If he’s abusive u need to start calling the police each time it happens so the is recorded proof. That will help your case.


Leave now. It never will change.It gets worse. It will make you feel a lot stronger when you leave. From an x-abused woman and mother of 3.

If you leave he may file for custody and GET it. You can’t just pick up and take a child to a different state after long term established residency


Check out your local laws first. Every county is different. Some counties you have to provide him written notice of your intent on removing the child from the county. Some counties have other requirements. Check with a lawyer (not Facebook).
As for staying with him: NO. You are teaching your son it is ok to control abuse and manipulate women to get what he wants. Love doesn’t hurt. You may love him but he sure doesn’t love you. Good luck!


You answered it yourself… it’s time to bounce if in six years he hasn’t changed he’s not gunna :v:t3:

Think of him treating someone ELSE bad, then go.

Go home now. It only ever gets worse. They never change. One more day is to long.

How in the world would it not be the right decision? Abuse isn’t love. Get out before he kills you or your son. Your child is learning from his parents relationship your teaching him the concepts of what respect ,love , healthy communication is etc… do you think hes getting that from your relationship? My answer will be no if my husband ever hit me just once I’d leave for my sake and the sake of my children. They dont need that toxicity in their little innocent lives and you need to be mentally stable for them staying in abuse isnt. I’m sorry if this offends anyone but dont be a victim you are a strong woman get out with your son .

Get out of there no ifs or buts before you end up dead or insane woman .that guy isnt worth a penny

FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO- GET A LAWYER. Then leave. I was in a marriage like that for 11 years. He barely saw our kids in the 6 years after I left, never went to one dr or therapy appointment, nothing. 6 years later he Sue’s me out of the blue for full custody claiming parental alienation syndrome, all orchestrated by his new girlfriend. He won joint custody and we had to move back to the state we left him in. My kids are miserable. My oldest refuses all contact. My youngest (special needs) has forced visitation where he is being mentally abused. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A LAWYER


It’s absolutely not okay to stay in an abusive relationship. So get out.
If you’re the one to move away to where your support system is chances are very high the court, GAL, etc is going to grant custody to your partner, even if you’re the primary parent and here’s why. Abusers are very cunning and smooth with their words. They put on a great show. If they didn’t, so many of us wouldn’t have been hoodwinked in the first place.
My kid went through this exact thing last year and it’s heartbreaking. So stay in the area for the kid’s sake!

Honey, you got to move. It’s not healthy for you both. Plus to be honest, I think you actually feel fearful of being alone. So it is not love you feel. He won’t change, not even for the sake of his family. You’re better off without him. By doing so your son will thank you.

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How would you feel if your son was treating a woman like your fiancé treats you? 50% of children learn from their parents mistake the other half will continue the cycle. Move out , find out the laws in regards to moving states, also the laws in the state you are moving to

Why is it even a question??? Heck no!! Get out!!! Loving him? Is it worth the abuse?? You cannot fathom being in a good relationship where is no abuse, you are stuck in his pattern and that is not ok for you and your child!!! Leave now


Thats not true the people telling you tbat you cant leave. You absolutely can unless there’s a court order. So leave now and file for child support there.

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Figure out what your state laws are and talk to an attorney. In most cases you are not allowed to just move out of state with your child because that makes it unreasonable for shared parental time. More than likely you will need permission from the judge or for the father to sign an agreement that he’s okay with you moving that far away and you’d file that with the courts.

Very little time really,. Go home .

Go now. You won’t get these years back. Be true to yourself- everything else will work itself out…

It always gets worse

Move on girl, you are not safe with this person.

Please Get out now
Before its to late. Its only going to get worse. And all the love you have for him is not going to change him. If you are this unhappy… Ive been there and doing that. Still in this hell! And im so unhappy and miserable. Dont waste time. Just saying.

I can tell you from experience that it never gets easier. Sometimes it’ll get better maybe for weeks maybe for months you just never really know but what I do know is that walking on egg shells for the rest of your life isn’t the life that you want to live I do know that that sweet little boy that you look at every day deserves a role model deserves to know how to treat a woman he deserves to live a life full of love and happiness saying now that you’ve invested so many years in a relationship and you want to get out I can tell you that I have been in the same relationship for the past 16 years and I still am I can’t tell you to leave because its something that I battle with everyday. He’s never going to change and you will forever continue feeling just a little bit less then you did the day before. Know your worth because six years will turn to ten then fifteen right before your eyes it doesn’t get any easier to walk away. There is someone out there who will cherish and love you. One day you will see that true love exists. If you ever need to talk or just need to vent I am always here. Keep your head up and don’t let his words diminish who you are because you are the world to your little boy.

So you mean to tell me you’re worried about wasted time? If hes abusive, you’ve already wasted those 6 years. Time to throw out his rancid abusive ass into the garbage disposal and find someone who will never make you feel you wasted any minute with them.
As long as you can walk away with a lesson learnt, you didnt waste anything.

I moved back for the support, love, all the things a Family can give to you. Do you really want him to be a role model, do you like the way he treats you, are you sure he won’t abuse your son ? Go to court, have everything sold and split the money. Good luck.

Leave nowv Don’t expect him.ti change

He is not going to change, period! When you leave he will cry, promise to change, anything to get you back. Go back where you can get your head together and think straight. Your son does not need to live in that situation. Get some counseling and find out why you are so afraid and unsure of yourself. Get out!

You need to move on you waited 6yrs and he hasn’t changed it’s time to go back to Texas don’t waste ur time on a person who treat’s Like this you can find some who truly Care’s and will treat you with respect and will Love for who are you don’t need him if he is doing this to you now,what’s next the physical abuse get out of this relationship before you get hurt more than just verbally take care be careful you can do better with out him

Move he’s not worth your time

800-799-7233 Nation wide DV hotline.
Very best luck to you and your child.

Leave, definitely. As far as moving that far away, would he fight you? Would he call the police and say you “kidnapped” yalls son? Different states see these situations differently. In NC I know if there is no custody agreement then the police can’t intervene and take a child. I’d def find out what the laws for GA and Texas are before I jumped states, especially with it being that far away.

You may want to check with a lawyer as to what his parental rights may be.
If you can’t afford to, call your local domestic violence hot line (google ph #) and /or womens shelter for some advice.
There is also a nationwide dv hotline.

Leave the man. It will get worse. And you are going to teach him that’s how to treat women and that they should accept it from him… How to manipulate people to get what he wants. Give him examples of good men. Of good relationships.

Both are hard but one leaves you and your child in a better place. As far as moving you know you will have to send the kido for visitation with dad. If you move back home, which I recommend if he is abusive, make up a fair plan. The judge will thank you. If he ask for 50-50 time so he doesn’t have to pay child support put a clause in the child custody agreement that if he doesn’t take the kid he has to pay you for child care. Also that you have first right of refusal if he can’t or won’t take him. He is a fiancée? Date set? Who is holding the wedding up? If it is you just leave

Dont let him trap you. He thinks youll never leave so he has nothing to worry about no matter what he puts you thru he thinks youll always be there. Go where you have support

Leave!!! You and your son don’t have to stay . Six years (2)bad ones .soon your son will think he can talk to u that way. The longer u wait the worse it will get

I just went throught this myself pretty much the exact same thing as you. Leave pack yours and ypur sons stuff up and leave. you have to for the sake of your sanity and for your sons sake. Im not saying its easy because its not and itll be hard at first until you can get into the swing of things but it was the best thing for me and my daughter.


It’s going to get worse think of your self and your son. Do u want your son to keep hearing it and seeing that his mum is sad. Go where u have the support u can do it. That way if you get the support u and your son will have a better life just think of your son.

Move. Quickly. You are in isolation!!! Take care of you and your baby!!! Prayers for you!!!

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Move!!! It may be hard, because of the love you still have. But if the abuse is that bad, staying may mean you loss your life, then where will your son be. If you have that strong support system back home, go, don’t walk; run.

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Move back to where you have support I lived like tha. you don’t have to I thought, oh I love him, oh I need to do it for my kids, oh I need to stay I have no where to go or nothing that I can do to take care of myself. boy oh boy was I wrong leave now. Theres a better life out there.

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I would pack up and leave. Your son will pick up how same habits and likely treat his partner the same way. Break thy cycle early. Go where YOU have support.

Leave because your little boy is learning how to treat a woman by what his father does I’m sure you don’t want him to grow up to be an abuser and if you have people back home that are supportive of you that I said go back home. If you’re working maybe you can get a transfer to wherever you go. No one should ever love someone that much That they will take all the abuse from them if you feel you need to stay cuz you love him then maybe you can get counseling.get


It will NOT get better if it hasn’t in say 4 years. You must leave and you know it!! It will be hard in the beginning, but in the long road ahead, you will be fine and safe! Make a realistic plan and stick to it!! My prayers and best of luck!! :pray:

Get out and start a new life for you and your son. If you cant do it for you do It for him. Yes he needs both parents but sometimes all he needs is his mother. Rise above everything. Yes 6 years is a long time but its also time for you to be happy and to be in a better place sometimes you have to leave so you can grow. Be happy for you and your son


It is your life. Only you can live it. How do you want your son to grow up? What example are you and daddy setting? Why are you asking others to decde the change in your circumstance?

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Don’t ask the opinion of someone who doesn’t have to deal with the consequences of the decision. PRAY!!! GOD will give u the answer you seek

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You need to leave and go where support is and in time you will be happy just work on you and your son

No matter what choice you make It will be hard, but Just don’t choose to stay because your son sees and hears everything even if you think he doesn’t .please for you and your son choose you and make that hard move !


Just pack your stuff and leave don’t think about it just do it. If you start thinking it over you will come up with reasons not to go. You have asked the question so you know the answer take a deep breathe ask God for his help and DO IT !! Good luck and God Bless you.

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I’ve been where your at. Family is everything. It’s time to get a plan in place financially and quit going back and forth it will drive you crazy. If it’s been 6 years and it has not changed it wont, and you can’t change him. It will eventually escalate to getting worse maybe physically. Don’t wait you figure it what you need to do for you and your son and do it. I waited and I almost killed my ex husband because I felt like he was going to kill me.

Girl if you dont pack up your stuff and leave. Is 6 years really worth the abuse? Sooner or later itll turn to physical abuse and then you will put your son in danger.
GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. Dont worry about the 6 years worry about you and your childs worth!

You already know the answer to your question… you really think someone was going to say "oh baby its okay just stay and endure the abuse? "

Pack you and your babys bag and go back home. You will be so much happier

Leave I was married to a MadMan and it was so bad it was going to be either him or me, Thank God we had No kids together. ,it was hard on my Kids cause he was crazy around them Please get. go,run as soon as you can if you aint Married thats even better !Get toTexas, dont put yourself and child in your and his Emotional Hell!!! LEAVE!!!

Run, don’t walk! Get away as fast as you can!

Go as soon as possible while your still alive, PRAYERS

Um leave duh! Also how is this relevant to this page ? It’s my favorite holiday.

Sounds like has already thrown in the towel. Go to your family.

Honey if you’re not happy anymore leave

Go where your family is.

Dear Abby, oops wrong program, try next page

Make sure you look at child custody laws in your state you are in, you may need to ask permission in custody case to move out of state with your son.


Stop choosing a man over your child, you are teaching your son that it is ok to abuse woman, Don’t walk , run You both deserve better.

Leave! It won’t get better and eventually it will happen to your son. Your son should have a man in his life that treats a woman like you want to be treated not a “role model” like he has to abuse a woman. It will not get better. I was in a 6 year relationship with a narsisist who mentally emotionally and verbally abused me and my son. I left cause my kids and I deserved better.

I agree with everyone there right you stay your son gets bigger hes going to think its alright to treat a woman like that cause you stayed and put up with it so run

If you stay it’s teaching your son that it’s ok to treat a women this way

Move he’s not going to be any different with another woman. You don’t want your son to think this is ok