My fiance saves rather than helps with finances

Is it unfair or am I being a little much, when I am constantly paying for child related items when my fiancé gets to ‘save’ said money yet has none when I’m completely down to my last pennies.
He purposely keeps money from me when he has more than I do. He’s unwilling to split bills.
It feels very one sided…
Is this enough for someone to feel the need to leave a relationship
4 years and 2 kids.
It was a fast relationship


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance saves rather than helps with finances - Mamas Uncut

So you’re in a long term relationship with the father of your children, living together and he pays nothing?
Ummmm… yeah.
Deadbeat for sure.
You are already paying for everything on your own.
Be done with the freeloader. You might end up saving money. He’s a d-bag.


“he purposely keeps money from me”
Honestly unless you have some seriously out of control spending habits and he’s doing it to protect you both in that sense… This sounds like financial abuse. If you have spoken to him, voiced your concerns and he is still unwilling to split everything 50/50 then I think its time to look at your options and see if you and your babies would be better alone. In a partnership one shouldn’t be struggling whilst the other thrives at all


Not right at all. Your suppose to be a family a team working together as equals. If your doing everything and he can’t help out financially at all wtf is he still doing around! No one needs that, it’s bs! He’s taking full advantage of you if he can’t help out with bills and your children’s necessities! I wouldn’t put up with and don’t know many who would.


If you are doing it all alone anyway .

Leave life gets more peacfull an less problems when you don’t have someone sinking your ship .


Ive been with my sons dad for 7 years since 7th grade (12ish years old) we are now 19!! We have an almost 1 year old. Since before the baby was born he has not had a job but he still finds ways to split bills (rent) and pay his own phone and car insurance gas etc. Dont get me wrong sometimes he asks me for gas money and stuff but there is also times he pays for my nails and stuff. I do believe he should get a job anyway but he atleast does the minimum and takes care of his responsibilities so i cant complain much. However sounds like a different situation for you.

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The fact that you let this happen in the 1st place Makes him think he can continue this kind of your own fault Get out and never let someone do this to u


“My freeloading baby dad”….I fixed it for you.
No way should he be your fiancé :woman_shrugging:t2:


Sooo he’s living off of you? You’re providing him with shelter, food, electric, water etc? And he provides what? Two financial burdens? Does he do the majority of household care at least?


Seems like he’s using you cause he knows he can get away with it


Wow. 2 words. Financial. Abuse.

He’s living off you while you pay the bills and for the children while he saves for if you split :flushed:.

If you live together this shouldn’t even be a question!

You pay the bills, kick his ass out.

Is this enough for someone to feel the need to leave a relationship… well, I lived with my ex, and youngests dad for over a year… he didn’t contribute to bills so I asked for child maintenance… he had the cheek to ask me what man, that lives with his partner, pays child maintenance? I hit back with… what man, that lives with his partner, doesn’t pay for shit? … he wasn’t saving though, he was wasting his money. If he was saving I’d of kicked his butt out a lot sooner.


Yes leave you’ll never get anywhere in life you might as well be alone if he isn’t helping


Have you sat down and had a serious, yet kind, conversation about it?

On one hand, to you I’d imagine that feels like an awful lot of stress and pressure.

On the other, he could be saving for your future just thinking you’ve got it covered.

I know in my home, at first, I did all the things. To this day, I don’t think my partner totally realizes exactly how much it takes to run the household because he sends me money (his half) and I allocate it. We had to have a conversation about how while his money is his and mine is mine, there are some things we are equally responsible for while we live under the same roof.

If you get the chance, maybe try a conversation that is primarily about how He is feeling, to get a sense of where he is at, without mentioning how you’re feeling at first? He could be saving for your wedding, or future nest egg in case something goes wrong, and isn’t meaning to make you feel like he’s keeping money from you.

*edit to add- if he indeed is callously living off you despite you having expressed your feelings already, maybe the next conversation should involve maybe paying for separate residences for a while.


Get out and enjoy the child support


You guys need to sit down and talk about finances. Shared Bills should be 50/50 along with any expenses when it comes to childcare


I mean, kick him out. You’re covering cost. He can use his own money on his own place, plus child support. Go find yourself an equal partner.


Honestly this isn’t even a question. Get rid of him and get child support. One less mouth for you to feed and extra income for your babies.


Look up financial abuse. You absolutely can leave.

File for child support. Force his hand. You aren’t married so you don’t have that safety net of splitting half. Get child support and get your kids and yourself out


Sounds like you have a third kid you’re taking care of. Tell him bye bye especially since you’re already doing it by yourself

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This is called financial abuse.


Sounds like he is taking advantage of you. Bills should be split if you both work. He pays utility bills, car payment and insurance. I pay rent and buy groceries. If one of us is short the other gets it and if the kids need something extra whoever can buy it at the time does. I would not jump ship immediately. But if we couldn’t come to a mutual agreement then I’d be leaving and collecting child support.


He is wrong on so many levels. If you decide to leave please give us an update :heart: good luck

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I’m confused, does he pay his fair share and doesn’t split child related bills or he doesn’t contribute at all? And what’s he saving for? Himself or a future together? Has it always been like this or is this something new? I need more information!

Financial abuse. He’ll have money to do whatever and you will have to depend on him. Leave and put him on child support.


Sounds like, his money is his money. If yall have never discussed the financial aspect before living together, you probably should now. And if it continues, I’d leave. Lots of men hold money over their wife, girlfriends head as leverage, power, control… pretty much financial abuse. If you have talked to him and nothing has changed, leave.

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What? Ummmmm those are his kids too right? I would NOT ever settle for that. Yiu should kick him out and find someone who loves you and the kids not himself.

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I would leave this relationship, it is clear that he is only in it for himself! I think having a roommate instead of a husband would be easier on you! Invest in yourself and kick his ass out and file for child support! It’s time he learned his obligations!

What does he willingly contribute?

Why fo you let him get away with not paying his fare share. You being foolish he neefs to split the bills and help pat for his 2 kids lifestyle that’s what parents do. Why can he save his money you get left paing all tbe bills and have no saving. He is selfish and need to htow up help out.

When both my husband and I worked, my money was “fun money” so we used it for things we wanted or liked. His money was “bills and important costs” which was fine. It worked for us.

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He definitely should be helping out! Remind him they’re both of your kids and not just yours!

How he acts now is how he will act after y’all are married.

KICK HIM OUT 4 years later come on he not your flatmate he your partner father good luck :+1:

Your not married. Take hom for child support of he refuses to help

Youre already handling everything so you’d be fine on your own :ok_hand::muscle: kick him out and make him pay child support. Yall have children together, and he’s your fiancé, sounds like he missed the memo that he made a family.

Ummm that’s not right at all. I get a tiny amount of money from FTB that goes on some food and my phone bill everything else that needs to be paid for my partner pays for and then gives me extra money for just incase things because he’s the main bread winner ATM. If your partner is making more he needs to contribute more. There is no this is all my money it’s our money you guys are a family. It’s fine to have seperate bank accounts but he definitely should be contributing

If he cant help pay the bills they’re not to many options

You should be able to ask him for money if and when you need it, , budget his wages with him ,

Leave…a relationship is 100% its teamwork…period he should help you pay the bills, help with the kids, helped with the household chores…if he cant do that without griping and complaining… Leave or he can go back to his mom house where she can pamper him… Cause men like that dont change sweetie and your just breaking and tiring yourself out

Does he pay his own phone, car insurance, groceries, anything? If not I wouldn’t pay them and when he doesn’t have coverage you tell him that’s what happens when you don’t pay bills. unless you put your foot down he will keep living for free. Do you actually know if he’s saving his money or living a luxury life when you’re not around to see it? The difference is planning for the future vs using you.

No real man is going to watch his woman struggle to make ends meet & provide for his children and do nothing to help. Period.