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QUESTION:
"Is it unfair or am I being a little much, when I am constantly paying for child related items when my fiancé gets to ‘save’ said money yet has none when I’m completely down to my last pennies. He purposely keeps money from me when he has more than I do. He’s unwilling to split bills. It feels very one sided… Is this enough for someone to feel the need to leave a relationship 4 years and 2 kids. It was a fast relationship"
RELATED: I Saved Money For A School Trip But My Parents Say I Am Selfish For Not Sharing With My Siblings
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"In my opinion when you are in a serious relationship the bills and earnings should be shared. Even when my husband was just my boyfriend I would help him with bills if I was able to and vise versa. There is no my money your money. We both work and we both pay bills."
"If those are his kids you need to file for child support. It will force him to pay his share."
"Tell him you have had enough of how he’s not splitting the bills and you have struggled & put up with it too long & had enough that you may as well be a single parent you have been this long doing it on yr own while he is feathering his own nest! Give him a chance if you think its worth trying or otherwise you have answered yrown question."
"Saving and NOT paying for family expenses would be reason to leave in my opinion. Do you plan to carry the load until he takes his savings and leaves YOU? Leave or show him what it’s like to NOT have the necessities YOU provide. No dinner meals, no toiletries, no cleaning and upkeep for HIM."
"if things don’t change don’t marry him, leave him get your own spot and take him for child support. He’s probably saving so he can leave you."
"I would sure give that relationship a lot of thought. Love is working together particularly when children are involved."
"I would discuss it with him first. Offer him the chance to try and make things better…then, if nothing changes, do what you need to do to feel better about your situation."
"He may not be a good communicator and it could be innocent. I don’t think it is- but it could be. I know someone who was in this position, and they went to therapy and were able to talk it out. He ended up staying in therapy and addressing some issues he had with communication and fear of being homeless with children because apparently he went into the system as a child and she never knew that. I don’t know if any of this is possible- but ask him if he will go. It could strengthen your relation and really help him if there’s an issue. If not- why support a grown man and struggle? Time to go."
"He is already showing you that you can do it on your own… With some struggles of course… But might as well take the trash out."
"You don’t need another “kid” to support."
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