Tell him you’d like her to enjoy the ceremony as his mother.
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Just tell him no. My EHs mom and step dad were ordained. She wanted to do it. I said no. Step dad offered. I said okay (he was tolerable). During the ceremony she started talking and wouldn’t shut up and basically just did whatever she wanted anyway. Should have known then how it was gonna end. 
Should’ve never signed that damn marriage certificate.
Say something NOW or for ever hold your tongue. (That will be hard to live with.)
Of course you should tell him how you feel! Thats what happens in a good marriage, you listen and respect each others feelings. You might not agree, but you talk about it!
Officiating the wedding is a very small issue. She will be part of your family forever, especially if you have kids. Think about that. Do you want this woman in your relationship with your husband & children when she doesn’t want you in it? You’re looking forward to a life of stress & drama.
Elope! Or just you tell her straight up because clearly he isn’t that you don’t want her doing it, and find you someone else. This is your big day too and you deserve to have it be perfect!
If she wished you guys not be together, why would you want her to marry you guys? I don’t think this its unreasonable at all. I’d put my foot down on this one.
Don’t invite any elope and have a fantastic time
She won’t be doing the service with a good heart will she, not a good way to start your marriage.