My fiance and I are set to get married next year. His mother can marry people…he wants her to be the one that does it for us. But I don’t really like her. I don’t want to make a big deal about this, but it is my wedding too, and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable. She has made it very clear that she does not like me and has even said in the past that she hopes we do not go through with the wedding. Like do I just get over it or do I say something?
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Tell them you would rather her enjoy being mother of the groom and a part of the wedding as valued family support vs a servant of the ceremony 
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Does he know you two don’t like each other? If so why does he want her perform the ceremony?
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Speak up it’s your wedding also
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Oh wow. I’m so sorry. My advice is speak up,it’s your wedding too!
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No that is something you both have to agree on. Like you said its your wedding too and its not fare of him to push something on you that makes up uncomfortable or something you don’t want.
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If she doesn’t like you , You think she will actually marry y’all ? . Something is off 
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I would let her… and (knocks on wood) if the relationship goes bad, you can blame it all on her. Lol. Even the smallest disagreement “well, that must’ve happened cause your mom put some bad luck when she married us.”
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what does your fiance think about her not liking you.
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Speak up! You guys should come to a compromise. If you don’t say something you will end up resenting them both down the road. You got this!
Tell him no. Find someone else to officiate. And after the wedding let her know she is on her way to a nursing home first chance😂 mother in laws don’t get it.
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Say something and do it NOW. Tell him it’s not happening and list your reasons why. It’s not something your going to budge on and if he wants to fight over it I’d rethink things. Im currently dealing with a MIL that I KNEW never liked me and its just come out of the bag and my SO is upset with me because I’m angry with her for the things she’s saying and the way she’s behaving. He hasn’t said it out loud but I can tell by the way he’s acting and “handling” things and avoiding talk about the situation period. Which I get its his mom and he loves her but he should have put his foot down in the first place. I should have myself but my anxiety keeps me from telling her to her face and he’s asked me to be the bigger person. Well I’m done with it. I feel temporary in this relationship and his kids have just barely started calling me Mom after almost 3 years now. If he isn’t considerate of your feelings now he never will be.
Does he know his mom doesn’t approve you should definitely say something
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you can have a friend get ordained qnd they can marry you
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HELL NO. DONT GO THROUGH WITH IT. That day is also your day… YOU get to decide.
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I would just say that you appreciate the gesture, but that you want her to be apart of the wedding and take everything in as the mother of the groom instead of the officiant. That may go over a lot smoother on all accounts
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Okay first thing is mama ain’t supposed to be marrying their kids they’re supposed to be in the audience watching them get married that’s just not even right and you need to bring it up to him and tell him you don’t want to get married by her I don’t blame you for feeling weird because she wants to do it especially when she don’t like you she needs to be in the audience
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My father in law was a pastor at the time. He married us and it is a blessing to have had his blessing at the church he used to serve before his retirement. My MIL hasn’t always been the nicest to me and also didn’t want us to get married. She thought/thinks her her son could do better than me. She was pouting and looked angry as she walked my husband down the isle. 15 yrs later, she still doesn’t like me much, but we’re still married and happily married too. So imo let her have her 5 mins of fame. It’s not a big deal.
Nope! I’m assuming your fiancée already knows all this… and I can say I wouldn’t have someone that doesn’t like my partner marry us- that’s just rude lol
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Nope. You will regret it later if you don’t speak up.
My wicked side says that saying it’s a great idea to your fiance when she feels this was can only have the outcome that he’ll realise what she’s like or that she’ll have to just get on with it. I suspect the first.
Tell him that. If it causes that much of a problem imagine what the rest of the marriage will be like…
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Elopw girl, spin it as a honeymoon and wedding all in one!
My ex-husband wanted the same. I wouldn’t waiver bc her religious beliefs were nowhere near my own. I basically said that if we were to get married in a church, it would be the church I grew up in. I knew that if he fought it, I’d be out. He said over and over that he didn’t believe the same things as his mother’s church…I wasn’t going to bend. I don’t even know what he said to her.
Talk to your boyfriend first hun, tell him how you feel, he not stupid, he must see how she treats you, however she probably doing it to put you off hun, don’t lft her win, do it and she go mad hun, as they say don’t get mad get even, on the day, if she says anything to you, just say we’re married now, none of your bessiness, remember you have your family there to support you too hun, best of luck 
Someone has to be the bigger woman. Maybe she needs you to set the example.
Well if she’s the officiant, she won’t be able to object 
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Nope
Bring all this up to your fiance. If he really does love you, he will think this through and consider your feelings
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Well it’s your wedding. This could be away of trying to get you guys to postpone your wedding. If she marries you guys maybe she’ll treat you better. Anyway I’d have another minister there that can marry you guys just in case. But talk to your man about the situation
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Communication is one of the most important things of relationships. You need to let him know how you feel. If you both can’t come to a mutual agreement on this, then how will your future with this person turn out?
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Normally, I’d say get over your feels cause it’s his Momma. But, I’m superstitious and I’ll be damned if the one wishing doom upon me marries me…so it’s a no from me.
If she don’t like u she definitely shouldn’t do it thats messed up
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If I were in your shoes I would rethink this marriage. I married my first husband knowing his mother didn’t like or approve of me. She made my life miserable. She got mad because she wanted to name my children!! Mommas boys don’t make good husbands!!
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Tell him you’d rather her sit and watch and do the traditional mother of the groom thing so “she can enjoy/view the whole ceremony” 
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That can’t be good luck to have an officiant who wants your marriage to fail, marry you. Lol don’t do it!
First off y’all got problems wait awhile see how your life is going to work with you being with him if y’all can’t come to a medium it won’t work
I don’t even want my m.i.l. at my wedding. 
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Maybe he wants this in hopes of having his mothers blessing… maybe he thinks she will be more fond of your marriage if she is the one performing it. Also in the future if she continues to think you shoukdnt have gotten married you can remind her she only has herself to blame 
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If she doesn’t like you why would he want her to marry you? Shoot she might not sign the license and mail it in. Def would be a no on that.
If he is Ignoring how you feel about your own wedding that’s a red flag to me. Speak up. It’s his day but it’s your day too
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Look up your state laws, where I’m at kin can’t marry kin! So maybe you can get out of this without making a big fuss!!
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Well if she feels that way chances are she may decline your fiancé’s request. So if for some reason she agrees I’d say something or try to find someone else to do it. Good luck
You need to be honest now, before the wedding. Don’t even start hiding your feelings or concerns from your husband to be. Honesty is always the best policy even if you have to step on a few toes. If you don’t want regrets later, don’t be fake about things now and you can be nice while still being real. Might even want to rethink this whole thing if you don’t like each other already or end up with the mother-in-law from hell.
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Umm I would do it just to be petty asf. 
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I would something its your wedding if he loves he will understand it would be different if she likes you but she doesn’t just prove her wrong and still get married if someone else does it or her
I prefer a preacher use that excuse
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Nah fuck that, if that’s how she feels towards you i wouldn’t even have her there 
and I’d have no problem saying it to her face to 
Say you’d rather her be watching and taking pictures and that’s it’s important to you a religious person marries you
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Say something. Ask for a neutral party to officiate the wedding. You deserve happiness
Ya that’s a no for me!
Say something or don’t get married…
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It should be by a preacher
I wouldn’t even get married she going to be a pain in the butt forever.
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Do not let her do it or ruin your day 
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I’ve got a petty streak, but I’d let him have her do it. She doesn’t like you and hopes the marriage doesn’t happen and then to save face with her son has to ACTUALLY be the one to marry you guys. Aaaaaaand I’d look her dead in the eye at “I do”
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Ummmm… You’re not even supposed to invite people to your wedding that don’t support your marriage or like you for that matter. No way you should have someone marry you who feels that way. Insanity!
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She will be your mother in law when you get married…so either suck up whatever hate u have for her, resolve the problem or ur gonna have 1 unhappy marriage honestly. My husband’s dad married us and i couldnt be more blessed that he was able to do it for us.
I’d have her do it just to be petty. You don’t want your son marrying me? Well now you get to do the honors chick😂 plus if she says no because she doesn’t like you, she looks bad. I consider it a win win situation.
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Depending on the state, they may not be able to. As some states have a clause stating you cannot notarize for family members. Check it out, you may have a quiet out that way. Good luck!
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I wouldn’t like it either if I didn’t like her. She’d probably be petty and ruin it on purpose.
Nah, I wouldn’t do it out of spite. I think you have bigger problems. When a Mil doesn’t like you but your spouse adores his Mom, your gonna have a lot of stress down the road. Good luck
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This doesn’t sound like it’s going to last long
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I would sit down with your soon to be mother in law and dish out whatever problems there are you’s seem to be having and tell her straight forward that is the man you love and want to marry. Sounds like other problems need to be sorted out first.
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I would talk to him. I would explain how you would love to give him that but explain your concerns. It’s possible she won’t even be willing to do it but you shouldn’t start your marriage off with lies. Don’t allow her to already be a wedge between the two of you.
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Put your foot down and say no. They’ll get over it or not but you shouldn’t have to have your wedding start off with a cloud over it
No way id let her do it if she doesn’t like you
Damn this is a tough one I completely hear what you’re saying and on your side with this but then I take a moment and think that this is his mom and maybe he’s had it in his mind that this is something that she would do for him and it could be special. How about trying to resolve the issues beforehand?
Sorry but she has a place at her child’s wedding and it’s not marrying you to him
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I believe. I would say something. LIKE thanks. But no thanks.
I I wouldn’t allow her to marry you.
Nope. Why doesn’t she like you? If she doesn’t like u all this time I could see bigger problems down the road with u and ur man honestly.
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This is what you tell your fiance… your mama don’t like me and I don’t like your mama. She isn’t going to marry us and she’s lucky she’s coming to the damn wedding.
You need to clear the air with his mother. Conflicts with family members especially a parent can cause a great deal of stress and strain in your relationship with your spouse. Is he aware of your feelings for each other? If not a frank discussion is needed. Be as kind as possible but let him know your feelings and the problem you have with her. Once he has been made aware of your concerns I advise you and your fiance to have a discussion with her to clear the air. A civil discussion not a finger pointing gripe session but open honest dialogue. It is important you three sit down together for this discussion. This insures you avoid any misunderstandings or misinterpretation of your conversation. You need to make an honest attempt to work out your problems. Otherwise you are putting your relationship in jeopardy. If left unresolved eventually he will have to make a choice between you. That choice can eventually lead to anger and resentment often resulting in the breakdown of your relationship/marriage. A discussion now will allow you to start out with a clean slate or help you decide if it’s time to reassess your decision to marry.
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If you hate her, why are you marrying into her family?
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It’s a simple no thank you for me
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I would talk to your husband and tell him that that is not what you envisioned for your wedding day. That you want to do things traditionally. I’m sorry you’re going through this! I hope you get your way!
i’d be petty and make her marry us…
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If she doesn’t like you and doesn’t want you to get married, for Pete’s sake, refuse to have her marry you! I mean, get real!
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Tell him no, shes a guest not a celebrant on that day
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Say something forsure lol
Make amends if you get married she becomes your mother in law. In it for life.
Wtf does the officiant not liking you have to do with anything?
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If its important to him I’d consider it if she was willing to sit down and talk to yall
Can you all go to family counseling to achieve some sort of peace/truce before you get married? Sounds like your husband might choose his mom over you & you & MIL could be at odds forever. Think hard before you say I do.
How can someone bless hour union that has I’ll feelings about it. Just tell him you would feel more comfortable with a pastor doing it.
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I would say thanks but no thanks it’s your big day so enjoy it
I’m going to be devils advocate, a lot of things about weddings are focused on the bride. A lot of the time the brides get to make the decisions of colour schemes, flowers, the locations of their dreams etc. Couldn’t you let him have his mother officiate if he really wants it? Think of it as a gift for him on his wedding day, something to show that you love and care more for him than you dislike his mum, and maybe she might like you more for being willing to give him (and her) this opportunity it’s his big day too
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“He wants.” It’s not about just you anymore. If he’s asking for this one thing, why would you not allow it? When you’re married, you’re going to have to compromise a bit. Let him have the (likely) ONE thing he’s requested when it comes to the wedding. Heck, there’s a chance that saying no to her officiating the ceremony could be a deal breaker for him. Just know, she’ll be in your lives forever!
On the other hand, RUN!! He might possibly be a mama’s boy, or she could be a narcissist trying to control everything in her sons life, but either way, you’re going to be dealing with her for the rest of your life!! I’d also be slightly worried that she might try something stupid and destroy your day. And likely move in after you are married, and “help” you raise your kids…
I’ve seen both sides. Either way, when you marry someone, you’re also marrying their family. Either deal, or get out now.
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Your wedding …not hers…do what you want
I mean if she hates you just think how much it’s going to upset her to marry her son to you. Ultimate petty achievement right there!
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Nope. Tell him you don’t want that energy ushering in your marriage and have someone else do it.
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I would try and clear the air or get a feel on her vibe about being the officiant.
Wow… you should pay attention to the red flags
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Soooooo tbh I actually don’t think it’s legal for a family member to marry you. It’s the same thing as notarizing. A family member isn’t allowed to notarize anything. It may be different state by state but in Maine that’s how it is
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You better change your attitude toward his mother, she was there a long time before you were!
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Nope…just sit down and talk to him
Sweetie, I dont know where you live but take a long weekend with you and your.man and get married. Dont tell anyone what you are going to do, just do it. When you get back have a party and make the announcement. Make it about you and your man and your special day.
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If he knows that’s how his mom feels…HOW CAN HE WANT HER TO MARRY DO THIS…What’s wrong with him?
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Nononononooooooo. Just a big fat NO 
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Don’t let her do it!
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