Ofcourse its EASIER, His NEEDS are being met like a motherfucker, ITS YOUR NEEDS that don’t make a RAT’S ASS to him. LEAVE HIM! The easiest thing in the world to get is a Man that wants to touch YOU, Leave him ALONE to touch himself!
I think you know what to do…but I understand if you needed the validation and motivation to actually do it. With that said, if you choose to stay and do nothing…then that is a choice you are making when you know what the consequences are. Good luck!
You aren’t wrong. If he has that type of attitude then its time to move on. My man watches porn and handles himself at times. We both work, and Indo alot of over time so I may be sleeping when he is in the mood. So it doesn’t bother me. We only get the chance once or twice a month cause of being so busy. Now a year ago we went through a patch where he was always doing it himself and never touched me and we had the time and energy. It bothered me alot and when we finally talked about it he had the drive just not the stamina to actually have sex. We have worked past that.
If you are talking to your man and he has no intent to fix this, work on it, or even care, then you need to move on.
You answered ur own question in the second to last sentence. You want to leave. Life it too short to settle. Love yourself and move on. Good luck
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Have you tried initiating sex? If he says it’s “easier”, does he feel like he does all the work in the bedroom? I’ve had girlfriends who have gone through similar bedroom issues and surprising their man and taking charge, playing cowgirl,etc. worked for them.
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I just read this outloud to my husband and he said no your not ridiculous but why do you wanna be with someone like that. Someone who treats you like that. You are young and before you know it its gonna be to late to leave and be happy.
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Girl, you are not in the wrong. I am 30, been married to my husband for 10 years and we have intimacy at LEAST 4 times a week. It sounds like he has an addiction. That is a hard one to work through. Maybe try telling him seriously one more time tgat you are considering leaving if he doesn’t try to work on this with you and also ask him if there is anything you can do better or be more open about to help him want you instead of porn. If that doesn’t do it, then it is bad for your self esteem and your own growth. You would need to either leave or something so you can work on your own growth
The rest of your life is a very long time to be second! Never settle, your number one is still out there.
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That sounds like pornography addiction.
So it goes, as long as pornography isnt interfering with your sex life or everyday life in general then it’s absolutely normal.
If it’s so distracting hed rather watch porn and masturbate than have actual sex with a real person, then yeah that is textbook pornography addiction.
I understand the whole ‘it’s easier’ thing but that’s only acceptable if you guys are actually having sex and not replacing real sex with fantasy. Being a parent, I understand! Me and the fiance both are known to go ‘rub one out’ rq cause JEDI knows he works his ass off all week and I’m 24/7 full time mom who takes care of the house too so yeah we are often exhausted and dont feel like it. But we still make time for quickies and a nice long session at least once a month.
Imo, I’d see if I could talk to him and get an idea of why he feels the way he does. I’d suggest he might have a problem and not to take it as anger or negative judgement. Help him understand how choosing pornography over your physically real body and needs. If he is receptive and willing to seek some therapy for it, I’d stick by him. A man who is able to recognize his shortcomings and set aside his pride to become a better man for himself and his wife/significant other is a man worth standing beside.
If he makes it out like its not a big deal or makes it your fault, leave his ass. Dont want anyone who isnt willing to work on themselves for the betterment of their relationship.
Um that’s bullsh*t , you should get a job of you dont have one , you have a right to make money and choices also . He should pay half day care if he want to be a ass . If he want a true relationship then he should respect you .
Your not ridiculous no but this doesn’t stop if it’s not this they are full on with someone else its like you can’t have it both ways so you ask yourself is that it for me.
All these comments/recommendations…
You asked for it
Please listen
If you’re putting it here
You know what ur gut is telling you already. Follow your heart
There is no reason to be treated like that .
Do what you gotta do
It’s his loss!!
Look in the mirror
Raise your chin and go for it
You’re young and there is plenty of time to let someone else come and treat you how you need and deserve
Best of luck from one mommy/wife to another
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What a jerk … Don’t waste your life with him … Get yourself a real man … Let him have his videos and his hand … what a loser
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I’m sure you can find a man that will give you the attention you want he’s a waste of your time .or just use him:rofl:
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Get the fuck out. Find somebody who appreciates you and wants to actually touch your body and soul.
Leave. He sounds like a giant child. It’s never gonna change.
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Yeah the fact he pushes aside your feelings and needs you should be gone. Then he can do as he wants financial support don’t mean you a free man tosser
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I would Leave him and Rosie palm to it then… … Besides… In my own life experience… If they aint doing you then they doing someone else… But I am not here to tell you what to do… Life is too short to feel like you don’t matter… Do what your head and heart tell you…
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Honestly it sounds like he’s seeing someone else as well
She did say that he brings in the money so maybe that is what is holding her back. Maybe the fear of life with 3 kids and having to work. Obviously it is doable but the fear is what is probably holding her back from living her best life.
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Yeah the earlier you get out the better. Sounds like his hand pleases him enough
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Find a new guy who won’t put other things and other women before you.
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Girl, you better RUN!!!
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You aren’t being ridiculous I’d feel the same as you
No I mean telling someone they can’t take care of their own business is wrong in my opinion but if it’s affecting your sex life you have every right to be unhappy and walk away.
Classic signs of porn addiction. He won’t be able to get better on his own.
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I would already be gone. Buttt…
Either get used to being treated that way or put a stop to it. Those are your options.
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Wow…leave that P.O.S
He’s a piece of crap… how are you still dealing with that?!
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Well he may as well be single. So leave him. Its disrespectful and he has no regard for you or the relationship.
What would you say to your daughter if she came to you with this? That’s the example she is getting…
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Sounds like he doesn’t care about your feelings, and if he loved you, he would care.
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He’s not attracted to you anymore babe 
I’m sorry, time to make a list of pros and cons… then decide from there
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He is the one that’s ridiculous and it sounds like your relationship had hit that wall of never going to get better so you need to decide if you want happy with yourself and your children or if want to stay unhappy with him.
Things will NOT get better after you are married - they will either stay the same or worsen. If you are not willing to live your married life feeling the way he makes you feel now, then you should break off the engagement immediately and move on. He is showing you who he is. Believe him.
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You are not being ridiculous, you are way to young to be this mismatched in your intimacy needs. He might have a porn addiction,whatever it is y’all need counseling, if he won’t go,go by yourself. A counselor can help you figure out what you really want/need . If you do decide to end your relationship make sure you have a plan for legal and financial stability for you and your kids. They may mean taking a course and having a job lined up before you jump.No one should ever make you feel Ike you are not enough. Good luck Hon.
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He needs therapy, that’s not healthy at all
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He doesn’t sound like a very nice person at all…he also sounds very disrespectful…so you need to think long and hard if you’re ready to spend forever with someone like that in this same unhappy state you’re currently in.
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Not okay, not at all… Stop dealing with it and leave or learn to live with it… I couldn’t imagine living that way but a lot of women live in terrible relationships and I just dont understand but it’s not my place.
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Sounds like he dgaf and its time for you to find someone who actually will be a partner.
Have you tried throwing the whole man away?
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Start watching tictok videos of half naked men and get yourself a good vibratory tool and rechargeable batteries. Moan loudly. Repeat as necessary
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This is how my ex was when he was cheating on me 
regardless , you deserve better 
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You’re not being ridiculous, he’s an addict. He needs treatment from a therapist that specializes in OCSB.
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Hes a dick!!! Get out and save yourself more heartache. He will grow up as soon as the child support bill comes. Find someone who loves you.
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Why are you still there?
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1)Figure out what the hashtags he follows are.
2) put on a masquerade mask
3) get half naked on tiktok
4) end it with a sign that says hey is this what does it for you
5) wait for the fall out 
Or go to couples counseling
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Fun fact, my husband cut down porn to almost nothing and puts all his time into me instead of videos with half naked/ naked women. Moral of the story, it’s time to leave. If he gave a shit about how you feel he would have at least TRIED to redirect his attention to you and your needs.
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Know your worth!! Find a man that cant keep his hands off you & makes you feel loved, hes out there! Leave this one, he’ll be fine, he has his hand
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Oh Jeeze that’s messed up. You’re not wrong for feeling upset. You’re there wanting to be more intimate and he’d rather “handle” business alone. Have you tried just going for it with him? Making a move on him? You deserve better. If that doesn’t work, maybe time to leave
Leave him he obviously does not love you.Find someone that does want to be with you
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Sounds like he’s lost interest in you. You can’t make him want to spend time with you or be intimate if he’s not into it anymore. At this point it’s watching and fantasizing, next will be cheating. Get your ducks in a row, your finances together and your bags packed…this gig is done.
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Start planning to leave. When you are ready, give him an ultimatum: Stop, (stop and get help, if it’s a porn addiction) or you’re gone!
Leave. Hes a problem and this seems like a prologue to physically cheating.
He doesn’t respect or deserve you. Go find a man and not a little boy who plays “big man of the house”
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I would tell him he either get help and change for the better future if he don’t he is out the door if he don’t leave I will be getting the money prepared, make sure I have custody of the kids before I walked out with the kids, packing up for my needs and kids needs slowly, get my kids line up, and drive away without him knowing and start new life.
Leave. It will only get worse. Don’t waste anymore time begging a man to love you. There are plenty of men who would love to be with you. And show you all of the affection you need and more.
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Start watching porn and half naked men. Buy a vibrater (a big one) let him catch you a couple of times. You can always leave depending on the situation. Then all he’ll have are videos and his hand 
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Throw the whole man away
No, not ridiculous. He doesn’t have any respect for you, your feelings, your wants or your needs. Its nice to have a man to “pay the bills” but its even better to have a man who loves you, cares for you and respects you. You’re still young, do not settle for this. This is childish behavior.
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I’m sorry you are going through this…He sounds disgusting. That’s not love.
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I’d be insulted and wouldn’t like that at all!
I’m so sorry your dealing with this.
Horrible, I could not put up with this attitude. You deserve better.
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No you are not ridiculous! You need to get out of that toxic relationship. Not just because of the porn, but also because he does not value you. Ask yourself, do I deserve more than what he is willing to provide? Chances are you deserve so much more. Best wishes to you.
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I would rather be lonely living without a man than lonely living with him. You’re definitely not his top priority & his priorities are really messed up. You deserve better & even if you need to get assistance in order to be on your own at least you’ll have your pride. No woman needs a man bad enough to be treated like he’s treated you. Good luck but should you decide to stay you’re going to see that it will only get worse. His remarks about paying the bills entitled him to do what he wants will make your life & your kids lives a living hell.
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…leave…thats it all
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It’s not going to change because he doesn’t see a problem with what he’s doing… even after you tell him it hurts you. I’ve been through something similar. This isn’t normal behavior in a healthy relationship, and you don’t deserve to be invisible to the one you love most.
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I’m sorry but Why are you marrying him
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Go, there is no respect . No way would I allow any man talk to me like that .
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That’s horrible, sounds like y’all may need to go to counseling.
Wow that’s not healthy 
Sounds like an asshole
Six years is a long time invested to just up and leave…what’s different? Is he hiding his phone? Is he leaving the house at odd hours and staying out late? Is he talking to anyone or just looking at pictures or videos of women? I have been married 30 years. I watch porn with my hubs a few times a month. Not just his type of porn, we watch my type of porn also. We don’t always have sex together but I mean it’s still together in the same bed. It may not be you at all, it may actually be his problem!
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Pack your stuff and leave. His behavior is gross.
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You need to leave baby girl!!
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Honestly it sounds like he has absolutely no respect for you and your feelings. I’d add child support to the list of bills he pays, and get out of there.
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This makes me happy I’m single. Really, no drama no cleaning up extra dishes or cooking if I dont feel like it, bathroom is always clean no extra laundry and its peaceful these posts really make grateful.
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Any man who’d rather screw his hand than be with his woman has a porn addiction. Simple as that. And the fact that he tells you to ‘‘get over it’’ when he’s the one causing the issues is bs. You need to find someone who can man up and pleasure you like you deserve to be (preferable split up beforehand as I don’t condone cheating)
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Give it right back to him. See how he likes it. Flood ur phone w that stuff and act discreet. When he picks it up and sees some naked guy w a huge **** he will see how it feels. Say well u were doing it so I figured it was okay. Then when u do leave he will know why bc he will have experienced the same feelings u get when u find out what he’s doing on his phone. Go for to a sex store and find the biggest dildo u can find hide it somewhere u know he will come across it eventually. Lol act like what he is doing on his phone is irrelevant to u. Like you have lost interest in what he’s doing. Even tho it’s hard to do that u can. Give him a dose of his own medicine.
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What would he do if he found you on those videos? I’m not saying go make some porn… but what would he do? Ugh… this is gonna be your life if you may him.
Doesn’t matter if you’ve been with him 6 years or 16. If he isn’t willing to work on this issue, then leave. It’s not even that it’s the porn, it’s the fact something is hurting your relationship and he has no desire to address it.
He needs help. It’s clear he is addicted and needs help to stop. It’s very common addiction for men. First he needs to recognize it. Good luck!
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I’d say enjoy your porn. I’m going look for a real man someone that can meet my needs. Enjoy the phone though. Pack ur shit and go. He isn’t going to change anytime soon. And its alwsys easier to break ofd an engagement instead of getting a divorce.
Sounds like my ex who used to cheat on me all the time.
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Wow. Not cool. Leave him.
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Honey you are young. Why be unhappy. Leave there’s a better life out there. He’s a roommate
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Omg there are way better men out there. The fact that he talks to you that way is messed up. Then all the videos… good god I would not stay. Life is too damn short to not be someone’s number one. For real. Do some soul searching and leave him in the dust.
Leave, run, run like hell. He will not change, it will only get worse. Run!!
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He is a.man child who would rather play games than be an adult. He is a hot mess. Personally I prefer men who like to take.care.od their own women than do one arm exercise with a video.
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girlll i’d be GONE asap
Leave. He doesn’t care about how you feel.
He sounds like a jerk to me. He’s treating you badly and you don’t deserve it. If you’re in a relationship neither partner gets to do what they want. Kick him to the curb
Sounds like a total man child who doesnt respect you… you deserve so much better. You are a woman at the end of the day and you have needs, he needs a serious reality check and in all honestly a boot up the arse! Go and find a real man who will throw you around the room, not some idiot who prefers touching himself to tiktok vidoes like a teenage boy rather than worship his woman like she deserves.
Leave, you 100% deserve better! Life is to short to be unhappy.
Hi, Sorry that you are in a relationship with a tosser! And that is exactly what he is in more ways than one. Why are you on here, asking this question. You and only you know the answer. Everyone else thinks they know the answer, but they don’t live your life. Being a single parent is hard! But being in a toxic relationship is hard. You need to decide what is best for you and your kids going forwards and tell him that. Pays the bills! F’wit! Does he think he can give you three kids and not pay bills?
Leave him. It will never end. Him choosing virtual shit over you is disgustingly disrespectful. Leave his ass and get a real man.
Girl I only read the first line and you should RUN far far away from this man child
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You are not ridiculous he is! He sounds like an immature little boy. You don’t deserve that just because “he pays the bills”. That doesn’t give him the right to be a piece of shit to you. You would be better off without him.
Girl yuck 
nobody wants somebody like that he honestly sounds pathetic and u 100% deserve better…
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Spice it up. Dress up, buy some toys. Or start taking care of it yourself. 
You could always give him a dose of his own medicine and start doing the same thing. Lol
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Call his doctor to check for potential problems he’s not telling you about, marriage counseling for you both, individual counseling—you for learning how to best deal with him, him for addiction counseling & whatever precipitated the addiction. If things don’t improve in 6 months, plan your exit carefully with a women’s center, lawyer, friends, and financial & other documentation.
Since you’re not married, splitting could be easier & cheaper. Fight for your relationship, but end it if you’re just beating your head against a wall after some months. Also, if he watches porn at work he could be fired on the spot. Might be an incentive for him to get help.