MIGHT possibly get in quicker somewhere if a Doctor’s office or Hospital (Emergency Department, especially if he is harming his Sibling) recommends it.
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Stay strong sis!! I wish I could give you a hug and babysit the 4 year old. You certainly need to get him some help ASAP
#SHAME ON YOUR X!
He’s doing what he saw. You have to retrain him. It’s hard & exhausting but he needs you.
He needs therapy, now. If you have to, see about an emergency treatment center bc uf he keeps sending ppl to the Er, they’ll take both children.
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Counseling for the family ASAP!
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Your son sadly watched his father abuse you so to him that is normal . Give him to his father to live so he can’t seriously injure your toddler . He has issues have you talked with your pediatrician?
I would take him in to the ER next time he is acting dangerously to you or his brother or himself. If you tell them you are afraid of the things he does they will probaby admite him and evaluate him. As far as getting into things I would start by putting child locks (ones he can’t figure out) on all cabinets. Have little brother sleep with you for safety purposes… find a counselor ASAP. this sounds like more than just ADHD and ODD… and try to remember to stay calm during these outbursts. Lashing out is probably what he is used to if your husband was aggressive… good luck and I’ll pray for your family
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Young one - unfortunately your child is a product of the environment he was brought up in. It’s taken him 4 years to be the way he is - now get some professional help for him - followed by patience, good communication and a lotta of love sweetie. Talk with him - not at him. Teach him “ active listening skills” and do the same with the lil’ one to-
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Ever thought… bipolar!
Start with your pediatrician first. Explain the issues and they can help get you acted to the right resources ASAP.
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First of all u are the adult take charge and tear some butt up no 4 yr old should be says that to u. If you dont take control now and punish them for what they do wrong its only gonna get worse.
Children mimic what they see & live w/ so I can see your son acting like your Ex, but YOU ARE “THE ALPHA DOG” w/ your kids, & ONLY YOU can make them behave! Why would you ALLOW your Son to hurt his brother w/out CONSEQUENCES for Bad Behavior? With your son’s track record for Violence & Destruction, You NEED to watch every move he makes! Don’t wait for a medical emergency, for GOD’S SAKE! I Empathize what your life is like currently w/ full time college, but you need to prioritize & if that means dropping College for now, then YOU BETTER DO IT! What the hell did you think being a parent was??? Some of your friends or relatives need to come to your rescue! Your kids are screaming for attention w/ the crazy things that they are doing! Get control of them NOW, because in another few years you’ll have lost them to SOCIETY’s Street Rules! BE THEIR MOTHER, NOT THEIR FRIEND!!! Good Luck!
He witness first hand abuse & is starting to act on it. He needs to be in therapy to talk about his traumas or he will grow up to truly harm someone.
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This boy needs help ASAP. Get him to your pediatrician or the ER right away. Do it before he hurts his sibling or you!
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Ever heard the term “Monkey see, monkey do”? It’s this right here. He knows you’re scared, and he does it because he can get away with it. My daughter was the same way. She’s literally PUSHED her brother (6 yr age gap, different fathers) off a couch onto hardwood floor when he was three months old, she has hit him with hard toys, she even has pushed him face first into snow just last week (he’s now 7 months old). She is in therapy and it so far has helped alot!
I think you need to take the dominant role and show him youre the boss. Remove all privileges, naughty step etc use baby gates to keep him from having free reign and causing terror. YOU ARE THE BOSS. obviously you need help and your child needs help too but in meantime you need to be firm. Hurting the baby is unacceptable and all possibilities need to be removed and there needs to be consequences and communication.
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ODD is no joke… he needs to be like diagnosed now… Id get him in through the emergency dept. Especially if he’s hurting others…and animals!!! This is NOT something that can wait… lived through this w my nephew… omgoodness
He needs therapy after being traumatized.
I would schedule an appointment with the pediatrician and once he sees how bad things are maybe he’ll be able to get you in with a specialist sooner than 90 days. I wish you and your boys the very best 
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Praying for you and your children. I hope you get some help for your son.
Your children may need therapy
Psychopathic behavior. He needs to be evaluated ASAP. Can’t his pediatrician help at all? If you describe this to them and ask for help, they should get something much more urgently.
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He needs help asap ! I am so sorry for you . Did he see your ex treat you badly ?
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Get him to a child psychologist/pschyiatrist immediately.
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Hes just acting out what hes seen from your ex. But he is only 4. With the right therapy…I think it would really help.
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Take him to ER if you have to,he needs medication like yesterday!! He really can hurt his brother or you in your sleep! You have to keep the baby safe from him!! Please keep all animals away from him too! Prayers for you all! 
U. Will. Be. Ok. Good thing. You. Got. Them away. At. A. Young. Age. Good. Thing. Your. Taken. Him. To. See. Some one
Good thing he is only 4 and you can deal with his behaviour which is much easier than dealing with a 16 year old. You do have to try to be 20 steps ahead of him like the Mum on Malcolm in the middle lol. Just remember he’s the child and don’t be threatened by him. He sounds like he needs lots of time playing at the park to let out energy. And he sounds very creative and arty and might just need a outlet. My daughter needed art and drawing my son was different and loved watching movies, both different. Correct wrong behaviour as you should but find what he likes to do. All the best 
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If the children have ever seen your ex treat you badly that can rub off on them and they start to act out. I would also try some therapy to help with trying to get your 4 year old to speak out more about why he’s doing the things he’s doing. It could be more than adhd if he’s hurting someone so bad their ending up in the hospital. With what the 4 year old is doing to your 2 year old, it can rub off on the 2 year old as if it’s okay behavior. I hope you find your piece and you find your answers:pray:
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You do not need to wait 90 days to get him help. You can take him to any er for a psych eval or if you are in the DMV area you can reach out to Shepard Pratt, if your out of the area you can still check them out online they do virtual psych evals as well and may be able to help you find someone in your area. There is also the Maryland coalition of families that helps out with these things, again if you are out of the area see if they have a program like that where you are. Also call his pediatrician they should be able to help expedite the process as well
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Sounds like my 3 year old she would get violent and terrible outburst…she would watch my ex beat me up .we both have PTSD try talking to someone at an abuse shelter and see what they can offer you in terms of help
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Praying for you. You got this. There is already a lot of good advice here 
Get him out of your house. Turn him over to CPS or other local authorities. You must let him know who runs the house, and by your dialogue, he he not safe to be around. I know that removing a defiant child is not popular in todays culture. Years ago, troubled and unstable children would be removed and sent away; usually to a facility where they would be corrected.
Good luck!
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You need bring him ER and they put him in psych way quicker to get him an evaluation and a Dr appointment from hospital
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Sounds like your 4 yr. Old has some psychological problems and needs to be seen ASAP by a psychologist. If he has hurt the little one all ready that is grounds to have him committed for a 72 hr psych hold. I know it sounds cold but the life of the little one is in your hands.
Sounds like everyone has given you amazing advice for help, so I just wanted to say I’ll be praying for you and your children. God speed Momma.
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Seek all the help therapy psychological exam neurologist psychiatrist anger management for him. I’m willing to guess is that he’s hurt his little heart aches and he’s not good at saying all those feelings or describing them. Chances are it’s ptsd my son has it from domestic abuse relationship with his father and he does it. Gives him extra love talk a little more. And show the love too by getting him the help. Soon he’ll be coming to you with his feelings hopefully in a different fashion. It’s scary and a slow process. My son was hospitalized he was 6. Make the phone call mama and I’ll say a prayer.
I have been going through the same thing with my youngest…I don’t want to out all the information out there but I promise I understand…feel free to message me and I would love to just listen and talk and help you through this as much as I can and give what little advice that I can
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It could be ADHD and/or PTSD. He needs to be evaluated, have counseling sessions, etc.
Connect with community connections counseling
I’ve dealt with something similar. Routine is my best advice and don’t give up on it. They need love hang tight mama.
Introduce him to La Chancla
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Praying for your family to get the help you & children need.
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There are tons of baby proofing you can do have you tried any of them for the cupboards bathroom door etc ? You can also get alarms that are motion sensors you put on doors and windows. I have two boys that are autistic both had similar situations you are dealing with. There are sleep aids for children melatonin is one.
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It’s learned behavior from what he’s witnessed I’d guess. Quit allowing him to say those things, give him consequences for his actions and his mouth, and most importantly follow through!!!
I believe your son needs extensive therapy. He probably saw his father abusing you and that’s exactly why he’s acting out. Please seek counseling immediately until he can be evaluated.
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If your son ever witnessed the abuse, he took notes. Somehow, he needs to see a therapist and get checked. All children react differently to abuse. Some act out and become violent and some become afraid and sensitive. I wish you all the best