As a pre k/ preschool teacher…used to be in younger class(I have 19 yrs experience) never take anything away… its not their fault. Common misconception. Many times they are too busy playing to actually listen to their bodies. Its our job to remember to remind them to go to the bathroom. Make sure to make them responsible for cleaning up their own body…even if its poop. Have them wipe themselves up but never shame. Something I always say is…“listen to your body” and “pretty soon you’ll be ready” u also may want to try…if child has diapers/pull ups at nite…tell her that if she’s dry for 30 days she doesnt have to wear them anymore. That gives them the choice
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Please thanks for patience. Its medical get to a kidney doctor
Plus she is so worried about her accidents it don’t help
My parents did every thing they could
At end ( kidney removed) and married.
At 4 I would have said she understands but I’m thinking about my own 4 year old whos been fully toilet trained for the last 2 years and each child is different. Sounds awful, but have you tried having her change herself/cleaning her own mess? x
Right after she drinks or eats take her to the bathroom like 20 minutes or half hour later I use to take mine every half hour or every hour I wouldnt even ask I would just sit her down on the potty then after she started getting it evrey once in a while she would have an accident but it was ok cause I knew she was starting to understand then it was the over night issue with no pamper I would give her her last cup of juice then wait like a half hour put her to pee then wake up in the middle of the night wake her up put her to pee it’s a process but it worked I got 4 kids that was my routine my youngest was the hardest it took me a year but we got it
Try using the potty watch and make it into a fun game. You set it at different time intervals and it lights up and plays music
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Just take her to the bathroom even if she says no. Just tell her well let’s go try and go potty!
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This is similar to my 3 year old he will go to potty when he doesn’t have pullup or pants on but when I put pants on he will just wee them xx
Or spend a weekend with little potty next to her and only panties on
Use a timer, take her to the toilet each hour and she has to sit on the loo to see if a wee is ready to come out. Make sure she is still having plenty to drink.
Put her in diapers and tell her big girls wear clothes babies wear diapers. Took my granddaughter about 3 weeks to decide she was a big girl.
I am a nanny my advise would be put beautiful panties on then say we don’t wanna get them wet
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Please .make sure she does not have a medical condition.
Make sure she isn’t diabetic
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Most likely it’s a phase. She might not want to stop what she’s doing long enough to go. Extra bathroom breaks and rewards can be helpful. Don’t shame her. She’s only 4, it will make it worse.
Maybe try a potty watch for a fun helpful reminder? I have a 4 year old that just started this as well and we are on day 2 of the potty watch.
When you ask if she needs to go and she says no, say something like “well i think you should try, I’m going to try too!” And take her to the bathroom. My 5 year old says no sometimes and although he hasn’t had many accidents, I’ll tell him he should try.
It can take up to five years for the nerve to develop to tell the brain it needs a wee! Don’t punish something she might not have full control over yet (nothing wrong doesn’t look at this because it is within normal development, it checks for UTI etc). It’s not a lie if her brain doesn’t get the signal yet! I would recommend keeping a wee diary and making sure she goes to the toilet half an hour before. She should always have a banking wee before journeys anyway.
Go see a Paediatric urologist now. Sounds like the brain wiring isn’t right, and the bladder goes from not needing to empty, to busting right now. We had a kid with this, and thought they were being lazy etc, but they needed meds to sort it all out. I wish we hadn’t waited as long as we did, because it caused problems at school for them.
Pull-ups. She’s not going to have accidents forever. Just be patient.
Put her on a a schedule. Every 2-3 hours just take her to the potty. Kids don’t have accidents on purpose or because they’re lazy- they are learning! Take it upon yourself to be proactive and she will soon learn that going potty can be fun and make her feel better. Never ever ever belittle or punish a child for accidents!!!
I never wanted to use pull ups, but after the first time of straight to underwear didn’t work, we tried pull ups and it took about 3 weeks and then he was ready for underwear and has only had one accident! Might be worth a try, so she doesn’t become comfortable with pee on her clothes too. My kid learned from others at his 2/3 year old school and with the help of his teacher and then us being consistent at home. Everybody is different. I would just be as patient as you can, and maybe try to get her away from being comfortable in soaked clothes/ car seat. We also didn’t want to do rewards but that ended up working after a while too - stickers didn’t work so we did 2 gummy bears if you pee on potty (and let him pick them out) and then 3 if he poo’s… good luck lady!
I know some kids have medicial issues to wear their bladders dont tell their brain they have to go. Might be worth asking a dr about. They can test for it.
Buy her favorite underwear,get rid of pull-ups, diapers, causes confusion,also we can only put out what we take in, keep track of eating and drinking and sleeping,they are just like us,big girl panties and encouragement
Sat on toilet let her see you, tell her it’s for big girls she has to be a big girl to use it, this worked with my son.
When you go potty make her go too, set a timer and have her try to go potty (even if she doesnt have to tell her to try).
Don’t punish her, it’s probably not her fault. I had a bladder problem and so does my daughter and shes nearly 8. I’ve taken her to the doctor
Taking her favorite toy??? I’m not sure this is really a “punishable crime”!!!
Try pull ups, positive reinforcement… Anything other then punishment 
Children feel stress too. The world is a strange place right now.
Put her on a schedule. Toilet every 2-3 hours. If she has an accident she has to clean it up. Wash out clothes by hand and take a bath.
Red food dye has been known to cause problems
She may just not be ready 
My daughter had this she is now 18, we ended up having scans and all sorts with her, 1 thing they said to us was to stop giving her citrus fruits and berry drinks, we stuck to apple juice and it disappeared, citrus and berry juices can be an irritant for bladder control, it may not make any difference 4 u but worth a try, xxxxx
My son was 4 same problem, he would tell where he peed on the floor and everything so frustrating then one morning he woke and peed on the potty hes 5 now and has had maybe 5 accidents
Sounds like what I went through with my daughter. Constipation can put a lot of pressure on bladder.
Same problem with granddaughter so I sat her on the couch for a day she then started to tell me she had to go it’s harsh but worked