My friend asked if she could apply at a job that I want...advice?

How am I supposed to take this. I applied for a different job at my company. They had postings two different jobs. That are right up my alley. This will be a promotion for me. So I applied for both,If I get any one of these jobs. This will help my family out so much. So I sent a reference to my friend. and she sent the references back. Two days later she said hey I wanted to see if you’re okay with me applying for one of these jobs that you applied for. When I read my text I was so upset. How can she ask to apply for a job that I’m trying to get. This just rubbed me the wrong way. She’s supposed to be my friend and I see it as a competition and her messing with my career and future. she doesn’t even working at my company. I would never do this to a friend.she also asked me which job do you want the most? So my question is should I tell her not to apply for the job I want?


Eh. As a friend, you should also want to see your friends win. If she hasn’t ever shown any malicious intent I would not take it that way. She is trying to better herself just as you are. She even asked you how you felt. But you’re allowed to feel the way you do, just be honest about it, if the job is for you, it will be yours.


In reality you shouldn’t be upset, it’s selfish of you to have said your friend is interfering with your career. Because she’s not, sounds like you’re not confident enough and intimidated by your friends capabilities. You should be open to the fact that no job is guaranteed to anyone and be pushing even your friends to further themselves. Good things come to those who wait. You might not even be the best fit for either position you feel you are. Instead of being selfish of others ruining your career, you shouldn’t, and be grateful to have a job and the right one to further yourself in will come eventually.


Well there’s a few things to this. Does she have a job already? If she does, is it a low paying job where she could use a higher paying job? I mean she’s asking for your permission and even asking which position you want more. Why not see it as a way for you both to get better in life on the off chance you both get those jobs. I mean you say your friends but I’m seeing jealousy personally. You’ve already applied for both, why not let her choose the job you least want? Your company is most likely gonna look at you first as your with them before her anyway


Idk, you applied for BOTH and she’s asking to apply for one… seems to me you are being greedy. You will only get one if any, so why want to see her win too? Better both of your careers, both of your families… seems selfish to just want both options for yourself…

It’s kind of rude but also if they aren’t going to pick you they aren’t going to. So her applying doesn’t change that.

She has the same right as you to want something better to improve her finances.
Sometimes when a position open in a company they will offer it to a employee that is already working if they think they are qualified, if you have not gotten the offer you will probably not get it any way


Damn, hope I never have a “friend” who doesn’t want to see me succeed.

No it’s not up to you to say no !! Compition is good

I feel you should support each other, and be happy for each other no matter who gets it or not.


There’s other perspectives to this. 2 jobs available, you and your bestie could be working together building each other up.


It doesn’t matter if she applies or not. If the job is meant for you it will be yours. If you don’t get an offer for either one, then God has something better for you.


I mean Atleast your friend asked and IF she does get the job it just means she was a better fit for that position!!
In all honesty I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who doesn’t want to see me winning too!! Sooo yeah you are wrong!


Yeah, it’s kinds ick of her. But at the same time, I’d let her apply and if she gets it, she gets it. Can’t be mad at her for being a better candidate. Can’t be mad at her for having a job. Even if it’s one you wanted…


Just because you apply doesn’t mean you will get it and just because she applies doesn’t mean she will get it. Tons of other people have applied to. The company is gonna pick who they want regardless. You should be happy she is trying to better her life just like you are. I would tell her to apply and wish her luck.

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You got something you need to work on yourself. You shouldn’t see her as on “off the street” person coming to “steal” the job you want. I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like you.

Nothing in life should be a competition. If higher up decide to choose her, she was just a better fit. You should be happy for her either way. She wants a better life for herself as well and you should support that.


You already work there. If the company chooses an ‘off the street’ applicant instead, they believe someone else is better fit for the position. Improve your skills so you’re #1 choice next time. You should not be blaming others for your potential shortcomings.


I mean, no one says that you are even going to get the position. If your friend is the better candidate for the job, great for her. I would never stop my friends blessings for something that wasn’t certain for either of you.


Just ask her if she can wait and apply after you find out if you get an interview or not. Then if you don’t get the job tell her, "Go for it😆

Do you really want a job that you didn’t earn? If you are the better candidate then you will get the job. By trying to eliminate candidates it says to me you do not feel confident that you are qualified for the position.


Other people are applying for the job that you don’t even know. If you aren’t going to get it wouldn’t you rather one of your friends benefited instead of just some random person?

All y’all are better than me. I’d be pissed. I want to see my friends win - but it would feel like a punch in the gut to see them win something you really wanted.


I honestly think you are the one being selfish. Clearly you must think she is the better candidate, that you would want her to forego an opportunity so you have a better chance of getting the position. One of my best work friends and I competed for the same job, both equally qualified. I got the position because I have better people skills. So in my opinion, you already disqualified yourself by not thinking the best qualified candidate should have the job.


Other people are actively applying to that job. That promotion would help you out but why aren’t you thinking about how much that job could help her out as well? Y’all are supposed to be friends and happy for one another when good things happen, but you’re upset that she’s trying to do better as well? Weird af imo.


I’d be pissed. All these people pretending it’s ok and you should support her to have apparently never had a competitive so called friend. She’s wrong.


It seems sorta selfish to me that you don’t want your friend to get a job and succeed. Maybe she needs the money more than you know….


If she had seeked out the job on her own I’d have a different answer. If you didn’t ask her for a reference she would not have even been aware of the job. Be careful what you share with this ‘friend’ as she has no problem pulling the rug out from under you.

At the end of the day the person most suited will get it and that may be neither of you.
I’m pretty sure you will have more than your friend going up against you for the positions.
Not worth falling out about

Friends support friends and yeah it hurts but you either will or won’t fit what they need or want

It’s a bit of a no from me . I think if she applied and got the job then it would affect your friendship but if she only applied for one and you got the other then fine . She is asking you which one you want most so perhaps that is the she won’t apply for .

I personally think it kind of a poopy move on the friends part. I get wanting to see your friends succeed and all that jazz, but why would you have the indecency to even ask that in the first place. If she had seen the listing and applied to it on her own, or even said oh hey i saw this and had also thought aboit applying, i might feel differently. But you dont ask for a reference expecting your friend to want the position you’re applying for.

I think you’re being childish and selfish. You applied and I see no harm in her applying as well, you should be wanting her to succeed as well. She was nice enough to ask you. They’ll choose whoever is most qualified. If you’re worried about competition then step it up at work, but don’t stop a Friend from trying to move up in life. I don’t think you’re being a very good Friend in my opinion. But if it bothers you then tell her and be honest. You don’t want to ruin a Friendship over a job or cause drama at work if she is hired. Don’t be childish.


I have to be honest. If you are working for a great company, they will choose the best option for the company. Which you should be happy with, regardless of the outcome. It could better you down the line.

With that said, YOU need to be more confident. When applying for a position, you need to present your strengths and how you should win, regardless of who else applies. To me, whether your friend applies or not, you should always show your worth. Be professional. Provide your stats!

As a leader myself, I have friends that work with me. I have learned to not be intimidated by them applying for roles I feel I should take for myself. Instead, I have learned from them to grow into who i am.

Hope that helps.

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If it was 1 position I may be hurt by it but there are 2 positions and she even asked you first to make sure it was ok with you, so that sounds like a good friend to me. If it was me I would be all for helping my friend get a career started. Lift each other up. Maybe reflect on your view of it because alot of people would have just went behind your back and applied without asking and wouldn’t have helped be a reference for this new opportunity. Good luck!

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 She clearly said you applied for both of the jobs and which one do you want more. Obviously she would like the other one.

If youd only applied for one job id understand being upset and seeing it as competition however youve applied for two… and shes not said about applying fpr both and just one.
If the company were to pick her over you it simply shows that she was a better fit and right now that job isnt for you, thats not her fault :woman_shrugging:

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Make moves in silence and share the success afterwards.