How do you politely tell your friend her constantly putting her child in competition with mine needs to end? My child is 5 months older than my friends and she is constantly asking when my child did this or that and gets noticeably upset and silent if mine does something first and overly giddy if hers ends up doing it first. It’s like she’s keeping a record of absolutely everything and I don’t know how to have a healthy relationship with her anymore she is just way too obsessed with milestones. She keeps a weekly record and is using my child as a comparison. I don’t want my child to be a competition and honestly feel bad for hers. It’s like she uses him as an extension of herself and gets disappointed in him if he didn’t do something before another baby. I’m not only annoyed but concerned.
Time to stop being friends.
I would probably stop being around her. My cousins girlfriend is like that. Her baby is 2 months younger than mines and she Constantly compares and tries to act like its a competition similar to you, I choose not to be around her or allow her around my baby. Protect your peace at ALL costs!
Time for you to find another friend…
Stop having playdates with her. Dont pick up her calls and just tell her you’re busy. People like that are toxic and you really do not need or want that in your life and especially your child’s life.
Tell her when she is doing it that it’s not fair or nice to her child.
You can either talk to her and tell her it’s not a compitition and all babies grow and do things on their own time at their own rate.
Or if you’ve already tird something like that then it maybe time to just stop hanging out. Time to take a break. Maybe she will get the hint but probably not.
Stop being their friend?
Start telling her that it’s none of her business.
Just stop talking to her then
When she asks just tell her “I’d rather not compare our children, it’s not like they are competing! Let’s talk about something else.” If she continues just tell her you are going to cut ties with her.
Doesnt sound like a REAL friend to me
This is like Bullying and needs to stop it affects your children and funny enough hers I would tell her this be point blank with her lots off harm comes from this .
I’m too blunt to be polite, I’d tell her plain and simple next time she asks that it’s not her concern or her business if all she wants to do is compete. If she can’t handle or comprehend each child goes at their own pace, maybe she should find someone else to hang out with 
Run…it will follow right through school, college, boyfriends/girlfriends, careers, marriage and their children. It’s very unhealthy…brake away
… fast, Sorry
She does not listen then find a healthy environment for your children no more play dates at all .
Oh I can’t stand when people do that. Always compairing babies/kids.
Tell her exactly how you feel dont lie to her just be straight with her either she will stop or she wont and you can move on
I would just kindly ask why she feels the need to compare children. And let her know you dont like it. Then go from there. Maybe she doesnt realize shes doing it? Maybe she does and if she continues then maybe time to bag the friendship. No need to make it end on bad terms. Just slowly kill the communication
Just say you don’t want your child in some weirdo milestone competition and she needs to calm down.
I would definitely call her out on this behaviour. Remind her that they’re only children and it’s terribly destructive and unhealthy to compare them. This will affect her child and potentially pit these two little friends against each other, which will affect yours as well. If she gets angry or doesn’t make any attempt to change her habits, I’d distance myself completely and spend my time with someone else.
Slowly cut back on time spent together and phone calls until you finally just cut the relationship off all together. You can try telling her how you feel but it sounds like she is adamant about comparing and she will continue to even if she isn’t telling you and asking questions.
I would cut ties if she keeps doing this. People who compare kids are weird af
So tell her to stop comparing y’alls kids or just don’t hang out with her
Dear lord…some of these comments…lmao do y’all not have any clue as to what loyalty is or communication skills at that? I’m sorry but if you can so easily just “stop being her friend” or “just stop answering your phone and act like your busy” like some of these fake people are suggesting then you were not this girls friend to begin with and you should bless her life and walk away. Now if you actually care and are TRULY this gals friend then absolutely talk to her about what you have observed and how it makes you feel. Invite her out for a ‘mom’s only lunch/dinner’ and just lay it all out and tell her what’s up. 9/10 she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. Sometimes people are just very competitive by nature and they don’t realize that they are bringing that trait with them into every day life so I bet she will be thankful for the point out. That’s how you go about this situation as a FRIEND. But if you want to follow most of the advice on here and be a crappy person and just ghost on somebody without telling them what they even did then go right ahead. So glad I don’t have “friends” like that in my life.Geez.
Start telling her really outrageous stuff but in a real serious manner. Like… Omg today my 8 month old made me coffee. Literally. He woke me up and brought it to me in bed. I was absolutely speechless.
I would ask her point blank why she does this. If she can’t or won’t give a reasonable explanation then walkaway. This is not only hard for you to hear, but also bad for the children.
Tell her each child hits their milestones at different times and no child is the same. Tell her to focus on her kid and be happy for both hers and your child. Like everyone said nobody is competing put it into the perspective if you did something before her and you smothered it in her face how would she feel? Maybe that’ll shed some light onto the situation
This is not a friend. She has some insecurity issues too.
I would agree that maybe it’s time to re-evaluate what she is actually bringing to the friendship and then if it’s worth it, try talking to her about it to salvage it, if it’s not worth it, then just tell her you need space from all the comparisons.
Quickest way to end a friendship between moms and soooooooooo petty. It won’t end unfortunately, cut your losses.
Lawd. Of all the issues 
I would answer her just as stated in this posted… next time she asks when your baby did something I’d laugh and be like ’ I’m totally passed competing ’ if she says anything just answer with ‘sorry I’ve just out grown that stuff’
Don’t answer her when she asks
Quit sharing…when did your baby sit up?respond with it doesnt matter,i cant remember etc
You have to terminate the frenemy. No way it gets better and something is not right in the head for this to be her focus. She will plant seeds between the kids 5oo.
Say each child is different, kids develop differently. It’s not a contest… Sad.
I would tell her every child develops differently and you can a book on what to expect the first year and talk to you pediatrician if you feel like your child is behind
She’s going to put so much pressure on her kids they will grow to resent her and if she makes them feel like they have to compete for her love this is very damaging to a child. For instance I have heard people say " Why can’t you be more like your brother or sister " ? This is why children commit suicide. It also makes them easy targets for bullies.
Just tell her it bothers you and to knock it off. If she’s a good friend she will probably laugh.
I went through the stage of comparing my son to my bestfriends daughter. My son is 4 days older than her daughter.
She’s almost walking on her own and my boy is just starting to crawl.
She has 6 teeth. My son has NONE.
It took so long for me to not compare him to other kids.
It isn’t about thinking it’s a competition, I always thought I was doing something wrong… that he wasn’t learning things right. That he was behind for his age.
My bestfriend who has the daughter actually helped me into not comparing my son. Who stood by me and gave support when I struggled.
Support her. Help her. But make sure she knows. ALL KIDS ARE DIFFERENT…
If she is actually doing it as a competition into ‘who’s kid is smarter’ kick her out of your life.
Sounds just like its her first child. I would just let her know all kids are different. I don’t look at it as competing just more of the First mom trying to make sure baby hits every Milestone and worrying about everything. Just answer with idk or dont remember speak to the ped if your worried.
Ask her if she realizes this constant comparing is destructive to her child and serves no useful purpose. Remind her that her child (as well as yours) is a human being unto him/herself and not an extension of her, nor her perceived “accomplishments” or “deficits.”
Tell her you do not want to hear anything more about milestones, it’s not a competition, it’s life. If she persists, get up and walk away & stop talking to her. After a few times of this give her the names of some therapists who might take her insurance.
If she is incapable of change and does not seek help after a few months, tell her you can no longer be friends with her because it’s harmful to the children.
Also, ask her who she was compared to as a child & how that made her and the other person feel.
Maybe she is worried she is doing something wrong. As a first time mom I consistently doubt my motherly instincts. I compare my child to my best friends because they are 1 month apart, but not because of competition but because I look up to her as a mother and want to make sure my child isn’t behind. When she tells me her son does something mine doesn’t I get worried that I’m doing something wrong.
I had a friend like this. After a year I had to separate myself, it became really weird, like an obsession for her. Sad ending.
Buy a paperback book of development stages? I don’t believe in them but some Mom’s do. If she asks you just say ‘I really don’t remember when’. Or check with your baby’s doctor what he should be doing. Just don’t engage in comparing.
When she asks about something just ask her “are we supposed to remember that one?” OR tell her flat out put the babies on the floor and let them race. Win or lose it will be the last competition for them. See what she says… tell us 
Every child is different.
To be honest, she sounds immature &/or not mentally all there. 
Whenever she reacts that way, I’d just remind her that all kids meet milestones at different times.
When she asks if your child did xyz yet, ask her why it matters. I expect she’ll either say she’s just curious or she’ll tell you if her child has or has not done that. That’s your opportunity to explain that it doesn’t matter what milestones they hit or when they hit them, if her child is behind, the doctor will let her know. Then change the subject. If she insists, then ask her why again. She needs to self reflect. And if its fear, remind her again that the child is doing fine, and if it really is a competition, then you need to let her know that this is not acceptable behavior and if it doesn’t change, not only will she drive her friends away, she will drive her child away. And then offer her the name of a good therapist.
I would be straight with her. You can not compare children. They all develop differently and there is nothing wrong with that. I would actually tell her that she is going a bit overboard with this. How would she feel if people where comparing her parenting skills to theirs? She would not like that one bit.
I would ask her why she does it.
If she wouldn’t let go of the practice I’d tell her I don’t think It’s a good idea to compare children, as they are all different.
If she persisted I wouldn’t hang out with her.
Is this her first child? If so maybe she’s just making sure her child is doing stuff properly? All kids are different but I ring my friends and ask them if certain things are normal or if my daughter should be doing stuff at this age ect; I don’t see the harm in it
Its nornal to a point but every child is different and thats just the way it is.
She has taken this to a obsession and thats not healthy also could ruin your friendship, I would talk to her and explain every child learns at different times some fast some slow but it is perfectly normal. Good luck
Just say ‘I can’t remember…it’s not important, as long as they are happy and healthy.’
Is she a first time mum? She could just be curious. I was. Tell her nicely that all babies are different no matter what. I just think she’s trying to make sure everything’s going the way it should.
Some people are just that way… Personally I can’t stand people like that so I just don’t socialize with them as often. For me it just causes less stress not to be around them. But that’s just my opinion, I don’t really know how close you are with her.
Tell her up front that this competition is over. If she doesn’t like it, she needs to be an ex friend. Let her go annoy someone else
I would just be very consistent with comments like “well, every baby makes milestones on their own time” or “they all get there on their own time” or “every child is different”… something along those lines. And if you really feel like you need to, maybe start creating a little bit of a distance there and a “silent boundary” for a while. Maybe a little buffer space would do you well? And if all else fails, then I would just straight up ask for her to stop comparing your child to hers. Tell her that you’re not keeping score and it’s slightly offensive that you feel like she is making everything into a competition.
Talk to her. All kids are not the same and no matter what the difference is these are your kids and you live them just the way they are
Maybe its not about YOU or your child. She may have anxiety about how her child is developing. Yes, thats hard on her kid in the long run but maybe she has an instinct that her child may have an issue and she’s using your child being close as comparison. If you’re social media friends maybe post some articles about how children develop at different paces or try to approach it like “Hey, I notice your child is developing at just the right pace or you seem to worry about how suzy is doing, have you asked the childs doctor about any concerns?” When she does her thing.
Straight up tell her to cut it out. That’s part of having a mature and healthy relationship. If she can’t accept that then maybe it’s time to cut her and her toxicity off 
Run, stop it or it will only get worse had my daughter who is 5 months older than family member. 34 years now and it was never easy. NEVER.
Just tell her to cut it out!! If she ends the friendship, oh well!!
Just be tactful and polte . tell her nicely that this is bothering you.if she is truly your friendshe will get over it and maybe stop annoying you
Tell her to knock it off. It’s annoying & unnecessary, just let the kids be kids.
Just tell her its upsetting you and that every baby is different. Some babies do things quicker than others and some dont.
Just politely explain to your friend that every child is unique and learns are their own pace. Nothing needs to be rush because then its missed.
That’s tough. Children learn and develop in their own time. Of course there are certain milestones but every child is different. Maybe explain to her that it doesn’t make sense for her to use your child for comparison because they all do things differently. Maybe suggest she join some mommy groups on FB so she can see what that means.
Just tell her that no two children are the same and they do things on their own time the next time she’s asks. Also simply just say it’s not a competition.
I lost a childhood friend to this. Our due dates were 3 days apart and my son came a month early because of complications. She consistently was the well hes a “premie” and over exaggerated her childs growth and learning.
No one should compare one child to another. Try telling her this makes you uncomfortable.
Idk but I can say this if I was you I’d never talk to her again that is just ridiculous
Tell her stop. You dont believe in doing that and that everychild is different
How long you been friends with this girl? She sounds petty & immature. Might wanta find a new friend😬
Tell your friend to fucking grow up! Thats high school shit!!
Tell her how it makes you feel!!
They are not the same. Treat them as though they are. Kids are kids.
Grow the hell up and raise your children.