It’s wrong to not tell him, it’s gonna hurt like hell but I guarantee part of him already knows. She needs to be honest, her husband will probably still love her & baby, he deserves the truth.
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Wow. So she ONLY wants to tell him because she’s greedy and needs more? Nah your friend is trash and her husband deserves so much more. Tell her to grow tf up and tell him so he can get out now before he gets anymore attached to a child that isn’t his. This is absolutely disgusting.
Your friend makes me mad… Why lie at all about things like this laawwwwd. She needs to just tell the dang truth and deal with the consequences like a real woman.
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If she’s not sure she needs a DNA test. She needs to tell him now. He deserved to be told a year ago. He should be able to make the choice on whether he wants to stay or not. Regardless of if she needs extra support or not. The longer she waits, the more attached him and the baby get to each other and its not fair. He may choose to stay. He may not. But it shouldn’t be about needing support. It’s the baby and the fathers in its life
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yikes on several fucking bikes.
So she doesn’t want the other “dad” involved until suddenly her husband is too busy?!
Her husband who was dad enough for a while, but now she’s being choosy?!
Either way her husband doesn’t deserve this, she should tell him, but she should know that the minute she does he’s out the door and she goes back to only having one baby daddy. Telling him doesn’t mean she gets two!
Wow no easy way to tell him. She should of did it way before when they got back together so he could decide whether to take it or leave it. She better not be surprised if he decides to walk out the door. She made her bed she needs to lie in it nothing you can do.
Tell her to secretly get a DNA test done
She should have said something when her and the hubby decided to get back together and she knew she was pregnant with another man’s child. Sorry to be harsh but she screwed up big time and there’s no way to sugar coat any of this for any one involved. The best thing to do is just be honest for once and tell the husband exactly what he needs to know. Then the ball is really in his court. She should have been honest from the start.
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It’s possible her husband is the father
Tell her to pack her shit up and the baby and go. That is absolutely freaking horrible.
She needs to just tell him… how would you feel if the roles were reversed
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What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.
This is so messed up. What is wrong with people. There is no advice in the world that is magically going to make this woman stop being a lying liar who lies. Hopefully, this man can walk away and find a decent honest person to spend his life with. Perhaps he and the bio dad can raise the baby together to spare it from this woman?
Good Lord.
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She should have never hid it from him in the first place. Now if they don’t work out he still has to support that child because he is probably on the birth certificate if they are married. And the biological father has no legal rights to that child.
There is literally no good way to bring it up, and when should have been well before they reconciled. He will hate her, they WILL divorce, and she better hope baby daddy meant it. If she ever loved her husband at all, the ONLY right thing to do, is sit him down and rip the bandaid off, and then she’ll have to deal with whatever happens. She deserves to have a miserable life alone, so I’m hoping that the husband is able to leave her on ass immediately
This is so sad and unfortunately will only end up with heartbreak from the hubby realising the bubba he is bringing up is not his, then the strain on the relationship from this too the real daddy who has lost that first few months. I’m sorry but this wasn’t an occasion she should off ever kept quiet about. Too many hearts and lives involved. She needs to just tell him asap and hope things can settle either way so that bubba can be loved and cherished with everyone knowing all the facts
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When she should say something? She should have said something when they got back together. To keep a man thinking a baby is his and isn’t is ridiculous.
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I would tell him straight out.Then go do the DNA test.
Your friend is a coward point blank. How is it fair for him to live under the illusion that, that baby is his when in fact it isn’t? Tell her to step tf up and tell him quit the lies she’s actually made me mad!!!
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She should have told him in the first place.
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She sounds like a terrible, terrible person. Hope the husband runs FAR away from her!
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I don’t have any compassion for her or the so called rest of the adults in the situation. It’s the child’s life I’m worried about is she going to let the child go through life not knowing who is the true parent.? That is what I worry about most this whole situation is so wrong but then that’s what lying gets you 
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Just say you didn’t know fam. Accidents happen. I’m sure if you weren’t faithful neither was here
I’m sorry but I’m thinking since your friend is having a change of heart, the only reason she wants to tell her husband is so she can reconnect with her hook up… your friend is the exact reason men should get dna tests without judgement from society…
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Surprise!! The baby isn’t yours!
Sounds like something that should have been mentioned when they were discussing getting back together… just like she should have then she needs to just tell the truth.
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Some people are just awful…… how can you deceive someone like that?
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Well this sounds like a crappy situation all the way around. The poor guy gonna be hurt either way. If that man’s feelings mean anything then she would have done told him.
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If she really wants to make it work with her husband, she should be honest immediately and they need to go to couple’s counseling.
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Now she doesn’t have the support she needs, so she wants to finally tell him. Smh. I hope he finds out and divorces her. What a wife.
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She needs to tell him now.
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Tell him and let the chips fall where they may
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Husband deserves the truth and the baby deserves the truth. She needs to suck it up and be honest. It’s going to be a tough bandaid to rip off, but that’s what happens when you let a lie go on for this long. She did nothing wrong with sleeping with another man since they were split up.
Why hasn’t she tested the baby behind the dads back? Or take the possible dad to rule him out?
She needs to get a DNA with the other man first incase it isn’t his 
then go from there.
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Smh that’s a whole mess she created. That poor baby and husband. This is why you don’t F around until divorce is final. DNA test and he’ll need to know period. She can explain til the cows come home, but once he knows he could be done and I 
wouldn’t blame him.
So had he had enough money she would’ve never thought of saying anything and you would’ve never posted anything here?
Tell that man the truth and don’t rob him of his life. Let him make his choice the same way your friend did. This is like the news going on Facebook of that 98 year old man divorcing his wife for cheating 60 years ago. She stole his life.
Tell that man the truth.
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What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive. Daddy will most likely be heartbroken by the revelation. The more time that goes by the greater the deception and pain will be. Tell him now. Set him down and put your cards on the table. He may stay, he may not. But the longer you wait the worse it will be for him and the child.
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Maybe she can break the news to him a little easier by saying it’s a possibility the baby isn’t his and that she slept with someone else while they were split up😬. Maybe not easier, but sounds better than saying she already knows. Either way he deserves to know
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She should have told him before she married him
If he agreed that it didn’t matter that would be ok but she deceived him and that is wrong.
This is one of the most selfish things I’ve ever read 
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Go get a paternity test at a local drug store. They’re cheap.
So wait… you only want to bring in the actual father now, simply because your husband works to support you and the baby that’s not his… so you want another man to come in and help you with a baby… but still be with your husband?
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Jeesh this is messy … I have no advice except to just tell him…rip that bandaid straight off…or call Steve wilkos …or Jerry springer … shiiddd ion know
Ur friend isn’t a good person. Start by telling the truth
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If she’s grown enough to sleep with two men that closely together she’s grown enough to straight up tell her husband and get it figured out. She put herself in this situation, she needs to do the right thing.
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Well they were separated but if he really loves her he will accept it and move forward. Having a honest genuine conversation is really the only way to know the outcome of it all.
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Sounds like a personal problem
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She shouldn’t have cheated on her marriage. Separated or not they were still married. She should’ve told her husband from the beginning. Instead of letting him bond with a child that isn’t his, thinking it is his.
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Can the husband not do math?
It doesn’t add up if she was already pregnant
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That’s awful. Her poor husband and poor baby and poor baby daddy too. This is a mess that’s just going to get messier. She needs to fess up now.
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Figure out the dad and go from there. That will ALWAYS be a stepping stone to figure their perspective going forward on both parts. Just be open to the oncoming. Nobody is perfect.
Keep her mouth shut!!! She Gotta Take That To Her Grave 
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Sounds like all she cares about is the money and not people’s feelings… she’s a ho ho ho
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She had a whole year to figure it out and how to tell him. She needs to put on her big girl pants and own up to her actions and tell her husband the truth. She’s denying the biological father access to the child and going to cause her husband to hate her
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She should have been completely truthful from the beginning. She now must be truthful and have a DNA test. She needs to stop being SELFISH. Much peace and love ☆
I feel like the victim here is the actual father of the child semi my as yes he agreed to step aside however he is still the dad and sounds to me like he would love to be the dad. Also sounds messy, at any point that dad could change his mind and tell anyone, better coming from her than some random person.
She needs to tell her husband… then do a DNA test first to establish who the father really is and then let the chips fall where they may. He can not be mad that she got pregnant while they were separated but he has every right to decide weather or not he raises another mans child. He also has the right to be upset that she wasn’t honest with him when they got back together. The situation is that he may have bonded and excepted the child as his own and it really doesn’t matter if he’s the bio dad or not. Ya never know but you should always be honest.
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Mind your own business.
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Sounds like he knows already? The math isn’t hard.
Ummmm she should have told him it likely wasn’t his when she told him she’s pregnant. She can’t avoid telling him but also she needs to realize that this choice she made will likely mean her husband will leave her. Keeping it a secret… through the whole pregnancy and now him bonding with the child… then telling him now will tear things up even more. I don’t see how he’d want to stay. It’s the lies and keeping it from him. Sounds like she has the “other guy” as a backup in case the husband doesn’t work out. That’s not right. Doesn’t matter if his work hours suck or not - sounds like she’s making excuses and has feelings for the other guy anyways. If she actually cared about how her husband felt, she would have been mature and talked about this before it went this far.
Ugh I usually try not to judge but holy crap, this is beyond messed up 
her husband deserves to know the truth and if he leaves her… it’s definitely deserved 
she started off hiding secrets from him 
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Honesty is the best policy here
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The time to tell her husband was when they decided to get back together. Now their relationship started back off with a massive lie. An effed up one at that. She needs to tell him now and be prepared with whatever reaction she gets. She created this mess by not being honest up front. They should do a DNA test either way to give him peace of mind. What she is doing to the real father is also effed up. He should be in his child’s life. It’s not right to ask him not to because she wanted to be a liar and hide this from her husband. My opinion…both men need to leave her and whoever is the child’s father needs to step up and be there for the baby and only the baby. They can find a better woman.
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Tell your friend to come CLEAN and take her and her baby in and HELP her get on her feet.
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The truth hurting isn’t reason not to tell it, especially in a scenario as serious as this. Her and this other guy manipulated a man into being father to a child he believes is his while grieving the loss of a miscarriage. That is so beyond words… he deserves to know and choose for himself how to proceed.
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She needs to go to a counselor and tell them the whole story. Then take her husband with her to the Counslor and tell him there about the baby that way they have a mediator. How sad for the baby though.
Truth. The sooner the better.
So basically your friend returned home to her husband and KNOWINGLY deceived him by having sex as soon as she came home
so he would think the baby is his. The time to tell him was when she first found out that she was pregnant. But since she didn’t do that, she should prepare for the possibility that her marriage is over. TBH, I feel for the husband and he should go ahead and leave her a**. This whole situation is FOUL. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. It seems like she wants her husband to provide financially and the bio dad to be there for emotional support. She should just go ahead and tell the husband so they both can move on with their lives because this situation is NOT going to end well and everyday that man is getting closer to the baby.
She needs to be honest with him, holy crap. How can people keep lies like this hidden I just don’t understand. The damage this could cause down the road for everyone, especially the child!
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Honesty is the best policy
She needs to stop being selfish
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Go ahead and tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may!
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I wonder what the judge will say in court? Lmao
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She needs to be truthful. Regardless someone is going to get hurt. She should not have waited this long.
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This must be your story as you know to much. You messed up, come clean but remember you going to loose at the end. Hubby might sue for maintenance as he working his ass off for someone else’s child.
Lots to think about
Yes… She should have said something… Like probably before she got back together with her husband…
Shes totally being selfish and screwing this mans life up… and he doesn’t even know it.
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First and foremost, I’d get a DNA test done. That way you aren’t hurting this man just to find out something else. THEN if it’s not his for sure, you spill the beans & slowly clean the mess.
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This is why DNA testing should be a part of routine infant screening. Your friend is horrible point blank. I can’t imagine calling someone like this my friend.
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I will never understand grown adults needing advice on something like this, the only right answer is to tell the truth! The truth even though it may hurt everyone for a little bit it’s still the right thing to do. There is no other advice that should even be taken into consideration. Everyone involved deserves for the truth to come out.
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This is a child’s LIFE you’re talking about. And she wants to lie to save some feelings? That innocent child deserves the truth. No it doesn’t know now, but one day it will and it’ll be harder when they’re older to break “oh this isn’t your dad and I chose not to tell you for selfish reasons.” What if she goes through all this lying and the marriage doesn’t work anyways? Then all this for what? Is she going to tell him then and add to his heart break? That man is falling in love every second of every day with a lie. Working to feed and provide for that child and his lying wife. She needs to grow up and be honest. The truth ALWAYS comes out. Better now than later.
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Keep your legs closed problem solved
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Your friends husband DESERVES TO KNOW THE TRUTH. THIS IS SAD AF.
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She needs to have a DNA test to be 100% sure and tell her husband, it is absolutely horrible what she is doing and sounds like she rather be with the other guy anyway, her lies affect the child and her husband with her web of lies 
she is being selfish and needs to deal with her consequences
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She needs to be fully honest in all aspects. Open up and tell the truth. It won’t be pretty but it’s a hell of a lot better than living a huge lie.
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This is why I feel like paternity tests should be mandatory when the baby is born, this is sad
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It could still be the husband’s. Either way, stay out of it. He probably already knows. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
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There’s no easy way to tell him. He will be hurt either way
What kind of sick person would think it’s okay to lie about this to begin with! Should have told the truth the second she.knew she was pregnant! 
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Id do DNA to confirm
Because she will look more stupid … but can’t make a ho a house wife like you still married why you stepping out.
I couldn’t imagine living a lie like this. I’m sad for the baby and the husband. Mom makes me a little sick to my stomach because betrayal is so damn hurtful!
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Oh wow. That’s a bad person right there. And if it is another man’s child and she told him to basically back off and not be a father then she’s also a bad mother. Women who do this kind of thing are why married men ask their loyal wives for paternity tests. She should have said something long before now. Now she needs to get a paternity test from the other guy before she says anything at all. That way in case it’s not his she doesn’t make more issues in her marriage over something that happened in the past. Then if the test proves the other guy is the father she needs to tell her husband right away and probably prepare for a separation and divorce because that’s a really hard thing for a man to get over especially since she tried so hard to lie and keep it from him for so long. Maybe if she had told him from the start they could have worked past it but now she definitely ruined any chance of moving forward if she ever tells him. And let’s be clear she should definitely 100% tell him if it’s not his baby.
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I will never understand why people ask these questions. It’s obvious that OP’s husband should’ve been told when they got back together, instead of keeping it a secret and thinking “durrr should I tell him? If I do, when do I do that?”
That child deserves to grow up, knowing the truth of who his father is. Just like the husband deserves to know the truth like, yesterday.
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She should set them up a counseling appointment to go in and tell him the truth. That way the can offer resources for them to work through this. She just needs to come completely clean with him before someone else comes and tells him because that’s just going to make the situation a lot worse because whatever happens in the dark will always come to light.
So she just wants the other guy involved because her husband doesn’t help out as much?!? Wtf. She should have told him in the first place before they even got back together!
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She’s not in a difficult situation. She’s in a bad choice she made. Sounds like she knows how to say she just has a hard time with accountability. But with a baby on the way, now would be a good time to practice. It’s not that she doesn’t know how to go about it, she just doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of her actions. I wish him the best of luck and I hope she finds maturity enough to tell him the truth.
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That’s FUCKING MESSED UP. You don’t pull this craps ON PEOPLES LIVES.
Tell him the truth, and then have a DNA to make sure
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First… why do you need some other man besides your husband for support? Why open yourself up to unnecessary court dates for child support, custody, ect… Either tell your husband he’s most likely raising a kid who’s not his or don’t tell him and constantly have a relationship based off of a life changing lie… either let him make the choice to raise the baby as his own or leave and step up and be a mom AND a dad to your child.
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She should be honest about it, better to rip the band aid off now than years later
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