Unfortunately there’s no easy way to tell him in my opinion just tell him she made her bed now she has to sleep in it:woman_shrugging:
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Seriously? Tell her to grow a pair and let her husband know there needs to be a DNA test. This is just wrong to do to someone. She needs to hurry up and do the right thing.
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She shouldn’t have lied in the first place.
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Just be straight with the man… not hard to do. Just be like I was seeing someone else during our split and I believe he is the father to (child’s name). Get a dna test to make sure
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Why do females lie about this shit, out here making us ALL look bad. Absolutely disgusting. JUST TELL HIM BECAUSE THERE ISN’T AN EASY WAY. And he better find out now not no damn 18 years down the road. And why you in here instead of telling her to TELL HIM!!!
The right answer would have been to tell him immediately upon getting back together, not waiting 9 months and lying to the guy. Then to try and claim he’s not providing proper support due to working!?
She’s a hot mess and seriously needs to get her shyte together.
She either wants the true father in the picture for the kid and man’s sake or she doesn’t. She can’t have it all ways.
The child also deserves to know who the true father is because what if the man has issues medically himself or family?
If she wants advice she needs to stop the lies once and for all.
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She needs to tell him. As a child that grew up thinking one person was their father, then to find out he wasn’t, this is a huge deal. They will feel their whole life was a lie and wonder if anyone ever bothered to tell the truth about anything for a very long time, trust issues for sure. Not only that, you can’t lie to a man and make him care for something that isn’t his. Give him the choice to choose. This lie is bigger the just the 3 adults… what about his parents that think they have a grandchild, aunts and uncles… completely not fair.
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He cant supply the support she needs because of hus work hours…so now she wants the other dude to be involved? Did I read that right? So other dude doesn’t have a job and can sit and pet her all day. Someone needs to tell that poor man…he working his azz off for THAT!!! someone needs to save him…be a real friend and tell him so he can get away from her and the child won’t have to live with that lie. 
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It could be the husband’s child too…often time when you cheat …this happens…take a test first
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Sorry but it sounds to me like money’s tight and now she wants that freaking child support cash and that’s the only reason she’s struggling. Screw her. I’m not usually that heartless but she thought she could get away without suffering the consequences of her behavior. I’ve screwed up in my own past and I’m not judging what she did to get pregnant. It’s the fact that she thought she could keep both men in limbo like that and try to manipulate things for her own best interest that irks me. Eff that nonsense!
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Shame on her to begin with. That man thinks this is his child. He is going to be devastated. She is cruel.
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Should have told him the truth from the get go.
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Wait and get dna. Could be his.
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What a selfish, selfish woman. The answer is already there.
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Should have told him the truth before she went home.
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I’d just be like hey I’m wondering if the baby might not be yours bc of how it is looking. Show concern about it bc you know it’s going to hurt him but if you show that it is upsetting you then it can help soften the blow for him. I’m sure he understands that there’s a possibility due to the close proximity of the ending of that relationship and the reconciliation of yours.
If she is 100% positive that this baby is another man’s, she should have said something a long time ago.
The only thing she can do now is to be completely honest.
It’s her bed she has made, she needs to be responsible, for the sake of the child if anything.
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She should be honest, or why be married? It’s that simple!
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Caught herself up in her web of lies
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Your friend is a terrible person and is probably going to lose her husband. Information like this needs to be forth coming. You can’t hide the truth forever not with 23& Me and all that out these days. She just got to put her big girl boots on and tell him. She should also brace herself for divorce .
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I would do DNA test with other guy first
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Jesus, I cant decide whether she should teach a master class in laying land mines for yourself, or start being a writer for one of the daytime soaps, she could wait to come clean till her daughter gets older and write back in here to us with an even bigger more messed up dilemma, boy that old saying is true “a lie goes around the world before the truth gets it’s boots on”
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First and foremost, she needs to get a paternity or DNA test. Then go from there.
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I need a follow up story for this. You know, after she tells him.
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She went and fucked up lol she should have told her husband as soon as they got back together. If they were truly seperated at the time then she didn’t really cheat on him so the husband probably would have understood, but since she waited and hasn’t told him I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets angry and to be honest I wouldn’t blame him. She messed this up she should have been honest when they first got back together.
So basically she wanted her cake and eat it too. Until she realized HER husband hours doesn’t allow him to be home and help with the child. She should have told him from the beginning. What a selfish thing to do!! She is horrible on so many levels for hiding this. She wanted the picture perfect life and it’s not working so NOW she wants to come clean. That’s disgusting
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It sounds like if the husband could provide better financially, then there would be no question about it. She only wants to involve the other person because she wants his money and cannot justify taking his money without telling her husband the baby is his. She has dug herself a pretty deep hole by keeping it a secret this long, that baby deserves to know who her biological father is and that other man deserves to have a chance to raise his biological daughter. She needs to come clean to her husband and let him decide if he still wants to be in her life. She’s putting all three of them at a disadvantage by being selfish. 
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She should have owned up. Their relationship is based on a lie. She needs to tell him. The husband may still want to raise baby regardless. Maybe not
But their relationship is based on a lie and it will come out eventually.
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Is this a joke ? She needs help with her baby bc her husband (who thinks it’s his baby) isn’t cutting It ? Lmao. What a hoot.
That’s the reason she wants to tell these men she’s a no good lying wife ? For her own benefit ?
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She should have told him before he ever took her back, since he definitely may not have, had he known she was already pregnant with another man’s child (regardless of her lame excuse about not wanting to share the news until she passed the first trimester, that was 100% necessary “news” to share with her husband that was taking her back, meanwhile she sure told the other guy, and devised a plan to keep her husband from finding out - so twisted). She’s selfish af and she needs to just bite the bullet and take the consequences, which are that he likely will leave her and be absolutely heartbroken and she will be left without any help because this dude was so quick to give up his rights to another dude, that he’s not going to step up like she thinks he will, and her husband will be gone, too (as will the money he’s working so hard to provide for her and her baby he is supporting, while she complains it isn’t enough, and after just THREE months she can’t handle ONE baby, while her husband works and pays for a kid that he doesn’t even know isn’t his?) and she deserves all of it at this point, imo.
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Forget money. Let husband take care of family and tell your friend to keep her wandering eyes to herself.
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Get a dna test,
How do you know he is the father
come clean now and start living an honest life.
Someone better tell him. And someone better vouch for him in a child support case depending on what state he’s in because if he chooses to separate from her he could end up paying for a kid that isn’t even his. Someone needs to tell him. He should have known from the beginning and it seems like that marriage was doomed to begin with. The longer you wait the bigger the wound. Building more memories on top of a lie is very harmful.
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Support is one thing. Its your friends decision. She did something stupid now consequences
What a disgusting person:face_vomiting:
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She should have been woman enough to tell him when she knew for a fact or even if there was just a chance. Just my opinion but I believe in doing what’s right even if it hurts.
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What kind of person does this
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In this situation…
The right thing to do is be honest!
Men cop such a tough break.
The kid deserves to know too.
It’s 3 lives she’s ruining if she’s not honest!
She might not get the outcome she wants and it’s definitely not going to be easy
But for her and bubs it’s best to be honest
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So the only reason she is even thinking about telling her husband is cause she wants financial support from the real baby daddy otherwise she would keep quiet? Your friend is gross. Tell the husband so he can move on. Poor guy.
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Sad I’m sure she wishes she would of just told husband when she returned …it looks really bad now to bring it up …he should of had the choice to decide if he wanted to try Agian with her pregnant w another man’s child. It’s deceitful and manipulation prayers for the situation alot hurt feelings bout to come from this
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Damn. She is one selfish woman.
This is disgusting.She only wants to tell him now cos she wants money and support off the other guy.Someone should tell this poor guy asap so he can get away from this selfish woman
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One she didn’t tell him on purpose and had sex with her husband for the purpose of him thinking the baby was his. Now shes not getting the attention she wants and wants to literally blow-up this man’s entire world so she can run into the other dudes arms which is shitty in my book and her husband deserves better. She cheated on him and lied to him idc if they weren’t together physically. She did this to herself and I wouldn’t ask for her. She’s a grown adult playing with someone’s feelings and more than one someone. Her husband, this baby and the baby’s dad. She was woman enough to sleep around she should admit it now before her husband gets attached to this baby and she’ll need a DNA test because I’m sure hubby is on the birth certificate so legally he’s dad unless proven other wise.
She needs to come clean her hubby may not leave her he will be so hurt but he can still love baby as his own …
Sounds like she wants two baby daddies
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Before they got back together she should have sat down and talked to him then about it… even before she found out she was pregnant… this is a big deal….She has gone long enough she needs to tell him everything and be honest.
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He needs to tell him the truth. What she is doing is so wrong and of course he is going to be devastated. He thought he created a baby that may not be his. I highly recomend a DNA test for both men. Better get this out before someone ends up really hurt or in court.
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Tell him you had a visit from God
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Sounds like a set up be careful what you get into it might be hard to get out of
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That will break the ice
She wants to devastate the husband bc his work schedule doesn’t coincide with her needs? Seriously? How’s she thinking being a single mom is going to work? Honestly, she should tell him so he can move on with his life and find someone to have make a family with.
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Obviously you don’t love him don’t drag him along no matter what the DNA test if you are cheating on him your scum and not worthy of him
Lol I swear your telling my story except I was married dm me if you need to talk to.some one who been in this position.
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She should of told him when she found out she was pregnant. My friend went through the same thing, but she told her husband as soon as she found out. He was mad but 3 hours later he called her and said I don’t care who’s baby it is, it’s my baby now, and they have lived in harmony ever since. She maybe surprised at his reaction. Or it could end her marriage, either way, she needs to be honest. It’s not fair to the husband or the baby, let the husband decide if he wants to be daddy or not, he may surprise her.
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Honestly i feel bad for him. He should have known right away. The miscarriage excuse is not enough for me. I have had miscarriages but never lied to someone. Sounds like she wants both men and using the child to do so. Shame on her.
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It’s a band-aid rip… delay suits no one and we’ll never change the out come
Sounds like she can’t keep her legs closed for even a minute. She needs to come clean and if the husband stays with her she can hang his balls on her neck like a necklace:rofl:
cus he doesn’t have any balls if he let’s that slide.
She needs to just come out and tell him. Point blank, explain how the baby was conceived and all that.
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Gotta love a marriage full of deceit. And what happens when that child doesn’t look like him, or has a medical condition or does and ancestry project at school. Man the F up and tell the husband. Period
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Better to find out now then to feel completely betrayed 20 years from now. Not to mention, it may be less dysfunctional for the child to be raised knowing something a person might want to know. If she’s getting this guilty now, it’s not going to go away. 
Also, medically, there may be good reason to at least know some family history. Tell him that you may have reason to believe that this child may not be his and hopefully you’re saying enough to work through it. I feel like the truth always comes out.
your friend sounds INCREDIBLY selfish . she honestly needs therapy at this point .
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Wtf ? Lol Are these real?
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She needs to rip the bandaid off and tell him immediately. It’s not fair to him, the birth father or the child. Tell him it’s possible he isn’t the father with the timing (he should know this) and suggest they get a DNA test.
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Why hasn’t she taken a DNA test of the other guy she slept with? She should get a DNA test asap Then go by the results. If it was me I would come clean.
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She should have told him from the start
I feel sorry for the poor child
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She can not be a mean person and be honest. The man is going to be heart broken and it is NOT fair to him. I have no sympathy for her.
Sometimes providing support for our friends means making them hold accountability for their actions. She ROYALLY screwed up and she needs to do something about it.
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She should’ve told him immediately but since she didn’t the sooner the better. I would bring up the split and say she slept with someone else and wants to do a dna test
Does no one have access to condoms?
How do you have sex unprotected with a guy you met during your marriage break? I get freedom, but you just let anyone cum inside you….
If the husband did it, he’d be a piece of shit. What if said dude gave her an STD, she then brought it home to husband?
This is crazy business to me.
Should tell the husband and then get a DNA test, this baby deserves to know who it’s father is. You start out with one lie and end up having to tell another hundred just to keep the first one safe. Every child needs to know who both their biological parents are no matter what.
Literally gonna let a man play Daddy to a kid that isn’t his and then devastate him with that information because he’s working too much?! 
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Sadly she left it way to late to tell her hubby
Tell the poor man today! That’s about the lowest thing someone can do to another person.
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She needs to tell him. This is so wrong on so many levels! Not only for her husband, but for the child too! The mom is only caring about herself and her wants. She is a selfish person. I can’t even imagine how she can live with herself…
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Your friend is an asshole for not saying anything.
Some may disagree but sleeping with anyone while on a “break” is messed up as it is. (not that I agree that breaks are even appropriate, there’s not really anything that you can work on outside of the marriage that you can’t while in it.) This is the sort of thing that drives some men to suicide.
She’s evil for even considering not telling him imho.
Well by law if married baby is automatically put as his til a paternity test shows otherwise. However she needs to come clean. He is taking care of a kid that isn’t his. She needs to let him know if he wants to be with her he must accept that she has a child that isn’t his and care for baby as his own. If he chooses not to (understandable) then she needs to divorce him and go on her way with her child.
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She should tell the truth, better now then finding out many years later for all parties involved and it will come out eventually, there are no secrets anymore.
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Every child deserves to know who the real parents are…good or bad. Don’t lie…would you want to live your life a lie? I wouldn’t. And what if down the road this baby gets siblings? They deserve to know each other? All because of lies? Sorry but I would never want to base my marriage on a lie…sorry.
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She should’ve said something when she first found out. At this point the sooner the better and she’s just going to have to accept the consequences. I’m so sad for that man, loving that baby like it’s his while every single person around him is betraying his trust🥲
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The time to tell him is way past. Had she been honest with him he may not have wanted to rekindle the relationship. She needs to come clean immediately and let the chips fall where they may. She created this mess, now she needs to fess up. Unless they were divorced she shouldn’t have been sleeping with anyone - then it would be a non issue. I hope for everyone’s sake that she tells the truth and everyone can make decisions based on that rather than lies. I know it’ll be hard for her, but it will only get harder. What happens if the kid has a medical issue and it’s found out by accident… That would be even more horrible for everyone.
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Sounds to me that she wants the father to be there for financial purposes and she is trying to hold on to both men
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I hate people like this
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So she was planning on passing the child off as her husband’s until she realized she could get money from the bio dad???
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I would get a DNA test done with the other guy first and foremost to see if he is the dad. Take one day at a time. Then you go from there.
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It will sooner or later come out he is not the dad and if it is years it will hurt him more best to do it now
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She needs to tell him and let him decide if he wants to be dad! God forbid the said child has a medical emergency? Guess what im trying to say is better tell him now instead of later. Not fair for him not to know
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She should have said something as soon as she knew it maybe was not his child
I would say sooner the better
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She should have told the moment she found out she was pregnant. Now she needs to say hey… When we split up I was with so and so. Let’s get a DNA test just to make sure the baby is yours.
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She needs to tell her husband the truth immediately. It’s a marriage built on lies.
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So I witnessed the aftermath of this same situation first hand at my old job. The only difference is that the wife waited 26 YEARS to tell her husband. The daughter already had 3 kids when baby daddy decided to come back around and all he££ broke loose! The husband was left devastated and the wife left with the baby daddy. Daughter took the grandkids from the man who raised her and speaks of him like sh!t even though her donor never did a d@mn thing for her. It was AWFUL and I felt so bad for the husband.
She needs to tell him like yesterday and she’s a sorry a$$ for not taking responsibility for her actions and being a grown up smh.
 I knew someone in a similar situation and she waited until her daughter was 14 years old and her bio dad was on his deathbed and that’s why they told her… blew up her whole world! Messed with that poor child’s head. And the guy who raised her was devastated! I have to say in regards to who she considered to be her dad, that didn’t change and she was so mad it ruined her relationship with her mother and she never got to know her bio dad. Or any of her siblings from his side. In my opinion, just rip the bandaid off. The longer you wait the worse it’s going to be.
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She needs to tell him like who tf does this what was she separated for a day a week what like seriously 
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Does anyone think hubby is smart enough to already know??? Maybe?
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That’s shitty that’s so fucking shitty I can only imagine what her husband is going to be feeling 
this is going to tear his heart up and probably might actually leave she needs to tell him before he’s left wasting his time on a marriage filled with already existing problems and lies…. Your friend is selfish.
Why is it always about the adults? Think about that child growing up not knowing the truth, geeez.
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Truth is always the best.
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Hubby needs to know. If the roles were reversed wouldn’t you want to know?
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I think honesty is always the best policy bc the truth will come to light.
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The fact that she kept it from him for this long will probably cause him to leave her.
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If she knows for sure the baby is the other man’s she should just be honest and accept whatever consequences come from her actions… if she not for sure who the dad is she and the other guy should do a dna test to prove who the father is and go from there… why put ff tomorrow what can be said today and face it head on…
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