My friend gave my infant ranch...Advice?

I just want to vent. I went to my lifelong bff’s baby shower today. I have two babies she loves very much. I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old. She used to keep my 2 year old all the time just because and she never did anything I asked her not to do. Well today she was holding my 2 month old and when I turned to check on him I saw she had her finger in his mouth and she told me she was giving him ranch dip. I got upset and told her babies only get milk until 6 months. Her friend chimed in ”no, it’s okay! My uncle gave all three of my babies tastes of honey and peanut butter from birth!” of course I got my baby back and nobody held him after that. And now he’s got terrible gas and diarrhea. It’s not my choice what someone does with their own kids but DO NOT be careless with mine


A little ranch dip will absolutely not harm a 2 month old. It’s completely normal for them to get little tastes of things here and there


I think it’s ok to relax a little. Not everything is the end of the world.


It’s harmless, but very disrespectful to do to someone else’s infant so I would explain to her it’s something I don’t do and please never again but I wouldn’t be angry at her


I think a lot of people are missing the point. She didn’t give anyone permission to give her 2 month old ranch. Boundaries where crossed and then she was told it was ok by others. I don’t think your baby will come to harm from ranch, but I wouldn’t give that to a 2 month old either.


So the major problem would be the friend not respecting you. But the small taste of stuff is really not going to harm the baby unless baby is allergic to something…and i highly doubt a small taste caused diarrhea etc …he more than likely picked up germs from a large gathering u took him to :woman_shrugging:t3: .


Actually the sooner you introduce foods to babies the less likely they are to have allergies to foods be that honey or anything like that one reason kids have allergies so bad is because they’re not introduced to anything until the doctor or whoever says they can have certain things all my kids were introduced to real food by two months 3 months old little taste here little taste there and they’re now allergic to nothing and are completely fine


I’d be more annoyed she had her germ ridden finger in my babies mouth than the ranch dressing !

But putting things into context a little your baby will be eating dirt off the floor in another couple of months when it’s crawling


I am sorry your boundaries were not respected . Hugs


I gave mine real food at that age. No bottle or formula after 10 months. She’s 40 and fine


I’m not cool with the “Hey we did it and my baby didn’t die!” folks. Some kids get diseases and recover but some die and you can’t know which one you’ve got. I’d always err on the side of caution. That said, babies DO stick a lot of nasty stuff in their mouths as a matter of course.


I would be very upset. Especially because my kids have a reaction to ranch to the point my daughter actually gets welts… nobody including grandparents should give infant baby’s anything or children with out concent first.

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I’m sorry you’re wishes weren’t respected, that’s not ok. I just want to add though that getting a taste of ranch isn’t going to cause issues. A lot may, but not a taste. But if you have rules and boundaries with your children, they should be respected no matter what.

Um how do we know there are to allergies… she is lucky all her babies had tastes and were okay! Thats a major boundary to cross and play off as if it were nothing id be really mad!


If there were no boundaries set and she wasn’t aware you had that standard set then it was an innocent action. To add, it’s harmless but your mom and run the show. Just know if you didn’t set that expectation you shouldn’t be to hard on your friend, especially if she didn’t know she couldn’t. If she did know then I would totally expect you to kirk. I personally don’t think any of this was a big deal but your entitled to your feelings.

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Any one should know that Ranch dressing for a 2month old is a no no. And Honey is dangerous for babies under l year old and Peanut butter he must be trying to chock his babies I would not let her near my child.


It seems like they weren’t intending to hurt the baby and maybe weren’t clear about the 6 month rule? Idk seems odd to me


I’m sorry your friend made a very careless decision regarding a child that’s not hers and then you got talked down too instead of the apology you deserve, you have every reason to feel angry. Everyone has their own reals and opinions of how they raise their children and what they deem as safe and that’s FINE but your rules and principles should always be followed when it comes to your child.


If it was my kid this was done to i would be upset, but i fed mine little bits for taste at around 2 or 3 months BUT that was MY baby i would never do it with any one elses baby

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Some BFF, how do you know what she did with the other when you were not around. That is no friend…so, now she will have her own…:thinking:

The kid could have an allergy or intolerance. The friend should have at the very min cleared it with the parent before making a parenting decision. She shouldn’t be putting her fingers in his mouth either. When did she even last wash them? Did she even ask if the infant had any allergies or intolerances? You can’t just give other children food without clearing it with their adults.

Glad others survivor bias stories panned out but it doesn’t always workout that way for every kid. This kiddo doesn’t feel well now. And it could’ve been the ranch or something else that the friend gave the child. Sorry you can no longer trust your friend.


I would flip if someone even put their fingers near my baby’s mouth let alone put any kind of food in it regardless of what it is or how old they are. And don’t kiss my child either. This is why I don’t like letting people hold my baby.


I’d probably have lost my shit.
I had a friend I was excited to introduce my son too when he was an itty bitty. She put butter on his nose and thought it was funny. That was the last time I saw her.

I would be mad just because of possible allergies. You never know what baby could possibly be allergic to. I gave my babies tastes of things here and there but watched them closely for allergic reactions. I would never give someone else’s baby a taste of anything without permission from the parents.

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She gave them honey?!? Omggg no baby gets that till age two. Ranch was enoughhh id be sickkk and pissed too!

Have you told your friend to not give your child anything unless you have already approved it. I think this is a 2 fold issue.

One the friend didn’t ask
Two, did you already tell her what isn’t and is allowed?

Everyone is allowed there own feelings and thoughts. Mine: I would have said, oh yikes! Please don’t give him/her anything like that. I want to stick to just formula currently. NOW- if it happened again I would be upset. Boundaries are amazing but unless communication there is an issue. And YES- you need to communicate people don’t read your mind. I would never give any kid anything without permission but WE are not all the same.

It’s not the point of whether it’s okay to give a baby stuff now & then… the fact is IT’S NOT YOUR CHILD!!!PERIOD!!! Yes it could be harmless, yes it’s not the end of the world… But it’s her child & she did not give consent… so u have every right to vent & also tell your friend… it was wrong of her.


I’d be furious. No one should give your infant anything at all without your permission.
Also, who in the actual hell puts their fingers in some else’s baby’s mouth?!


You allowed this woman to keep your first child all the time yet become furious enough to rant online about her over giving your baby a taste of ranch dip? Seriously?! I’d be tremendously appreciative and grateful that she was such a help with the first one. Did you even specify that you did not want anything given to your baby beforehand? Why wouldn’t you just calmly tell her that you dont want the baby to have anything going forward rather than reacting in anger and lecturing her that babies can only have milk. I’m sure she meant absolutely no harm and would have apologized and not given anything in the future. Better to rant online about someone I guess than just talk about it. What a world it has become.


It doesn’t matter if it’ll do him harm or not. If you, his mother said no. It’s NO. If she is a good friend, she’ll understand. I would shoot her a text and tell her to please never do that again or give him anything without your permission first

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A little taste of ranch wont hurt your baby, that same baby will be eating dirt in a few months, maybe your friend didn’t know not to give a month old a taste of ranch. Did you specifically say don’t let my baby taste anything ?

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It’s so not harmful to baby at all! However u are the mother so she should respect ur boundaries. My babies was eating here n there about any soft things at 3 months old. Of course with my second took us forever to find a formula he could drink n actually get full. So at 2 months with his his pediatrician recommended I put a little bit of baby food in each bottle with his milk.

This needs advice? Talk to your friend about your boundaries. Forgive her because she wasn’t being malicious nor did she cause any harm to your child. Relax a little. As a mother lots of things are going to not go as planned. You can’t melt down everytime your baby gets gas.

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1 - It’s disrespectful to give someone’s baby food unless they ask first and have the mothers blessing.
2 - There is a huge misconception when it comes to solids and babies. One of the main reasons to postpone solids is because you want your baby to get 100% of the benefits of breastmilk. Once they start consuming solids they drink less milk because it’s no longer their primary source of food.
3 - Honey has nothing to do with allergies, it’s the high ass risk of botulism…

Absolutely not! Open gut is real & nothing but breastmilk or formula should be given before 6 months. & all signs of readiness need to be met & sitting unassisted for at least 5 min. I literally keep eyes on my 4 month old with whoever is holding her cause I don’t trust a soul when it comes to them wanting to give her something. Stand your ground momma, your baby! Just cause these other kids were “fine” doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

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Here starts a lifelong learning that you can’t control everything your child eats drinks and does, unless you never ever let your child out of your sight and you do everything for your child.

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You have every right to be upset about it. That’s your baby and they should have made sure it was ok with you before giving him something like that. I would just explain why you were upset and just ask that they make sure you are ok with it first before they give him a taste of anything else.

I would be upset too,it’s not her child I got into it with my uncles wife for that and I no longer talked to her… Maybe sit down tell her that she really upset you and she has to understand that what she did was wrong…you never know what kind of reaction they may have

It’s not the end of the world. It ain’t going to harm the baby just for a taste.

They didn’t respect your boundaries…fine for their kids but they should not impose their beliefs on your children

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Nope, I’d be distancing myself from this “friend” and cutting her off completely if I didn’t receive an actual apology and see changed behavior. Babies should NOT have any food before 6 months unless instructed by your pediatrician. Great, the other woman allowed her uncle to overstep and the kids were fine. Does she want a fucking cookie? Just because she was okay with somebody else feeding her kid without permission doesn’t mean YOU are. And it doesn’t make what her uncle did or what your friend did okay. At 2 months old there is no way to know if they have a food allergy and she could have fed the baby something that could have landed them in the hospital or even killed them. I’d rather lose a friend that has no boundaries than have them around and something happens to my kid.

We absolutely didnt give my kids any table food until 6 months old. No honey until after 1.

Just my two cents, but I grew up in an era where kids have nook nooks play in the dirt play with those little mobile dohickies etc. Babies put everything in their mouth. BTW being this upset about that hate to see what happens when they get a cold and see snot running into their mouth (just sayin). BTW do a bit more research being exposed to these types of germs does build (to some extent immunites)

Eww even the finger in his mouth is gross!!

I hope you said “No its not okay. I said no”. I’d be Mad too

Does she not have kids? Maybe explain the consequences of what she did

No means NO!!! Do we need to go back to preschool and learn this?

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That’s the problem with parents these days they are raising internet babies you’ll are are so stupid babies can be feed besides a bottle of milk what do you think they got back in older days I have children they all grew up very healthy and they where feed from the table from day one stop beening so dramatic and no the ranch dressing didn’t make him sick you are just trying to claim it did she didn’t harm your first baby what makes you think she is trying to hurt this one what a friend you really are

It was super disrespectful to do it without your permission. However, I highly doubt she did it with malicious intent. Truthfully I would just tell her to respect your boundaries from now on with that sorta thing. Personal experience would lead me to think she probably has kids as well and knows a small amount is relatively harmless. Just let her know not to do it anymore as that’s your personal choice for your kids.

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So I would say just talk to your friend and set boundaries that you do not want your baby having certain things and to ask before she gives baby anything… but I also want to say your expectations of babies only having milk until 6 months is a little off I have an almost 7 month old his dr told us to start trying baby foods at 3 months at 4 months he started drinking his milk from a sippy cup and infant juices occasionally and once he got his first tooth at 5 months they said he could start having table food that was soft enough to smash between your tongue and the roof of your mouth I understand that all babies do things at different times but once you start baby food they suggest doing each kind for about a week at a time so that you can see their reaction and watch for any allergies… but I would tell friend that you would like baby to only try new things under your supervision because no one knows your child like you… if u just communicate that your friend should respect your boundaries if they continue to cross boundaries even after you’ve established what you expect then I would be highly upset but do not get too upset over this one time the fact that she told u what she was doing let’s me know she wasn’t thinking it was a bad thing… everyone does different things and in her family that may be just what they do just explain your views and how you want things done

Your totally right! He’s your child and let no one tell you any different everyone needs to stop with the I did and their fine shit well their your children so do as you please but stop telling people how to raise their children. Honey shouldn’t be given to a child under 12 months as its dangerous they can’t digest it probably more than likely he’s an upset stomach poor baby

Ohy god , just keep your baby to yourself , if your going to be this ridiculous, about petty little stupid shit . The baby could have got diahrea , or gas from formula, or breast milk also

What gets me also is the honey. Babies cannot have honey until they are over a year old and he gave them peanut butter and honey from birth? Big no no! I can see why you’re upset. The diarrhea and gas is most likely from the ranch. Hurt his little belly :frowning:


First of all Honey can be deadly if given to a child before the age of 2… people are nuts.

Secondly I doubt a taste of ranch is gonna hurt a baby, yes they shouldn’t really have anything besides milk for 3-4 months (depending on child’s interest, ability and recommendations from pediatrician)
And your friend is kinda an asshole because you really shouldn’t give someone else’s baby anything without speaking to mom first.

Not the end of the world. A little taste wont do no harm

To anyone condoning what the friend did you’re totally missing the point :roll_eyes:


Honey to their infants!?!?!?!?!?!?!? W.t.f.

I would have been more angry about the finger in the mouth. But agree, nothing in the baby’s mouth without Mom’s permission!

A taste of something small like a fingertip of something won’t hurt. But still, boundaries were crossed & you should’ve been asked first at least.

I’d be livid, especially putting her fingers in his mouth :face_vomiting:

With or without ranch she shouldn’t be sticking her dirty a** fingers in your 2 month old’s mouth. :rage::rage:

You should always defer to their mother when giving children things