It’s easier to leave.
She needs to move then. She wouldn’t be able to pay the rent without him anyway it sounds like!
She can leave stay with a friend and start immediate applying for low income housing. E.b
T.card and a check ,medical card day care then get a job.
How she gonna support her self and the children is there a back up plan already ?
Stop fixing supper for him, take care of the kids, do what you do when you’re a sahm. Let him worry about himself. If he doesn’t have any supper fixed, tell him there wasn’t enough for groceries I’m all for alone time and taking care of the kids. Sometimes it is more peaceful considering some, not all, me are like kids. However, that dinner part. If he wants it, then he can be on time or there’s nothing for him… it’s one thing to work overtime but it’s a whole different ballgame when you’re with your buds. Overtime = dinner… Buds =fix it yourself
I mean- she’s a stay at home mom so how will she support herself and her kids without him? She needs to be self sufficient before she tries to kick her breadwinner out
well if he will not leave then she has to leave if she does not want to be there plain and simple if she is that miserable and he is that toxic then she should just leave for her children and herself. I know it’s easier said than done because I had to do that I had to leave in the middle of the night with infant with what I could pack into a car it’s not easy what will be the best decision you will ever make
Did I submit this and forget I did it??
She needs to get self sufficjent and leave if she is just so unhappy.
She should get a job and leave.
Then she should leave. Stack her chips for as long as possible. Get on assistance have an exit strategy and bounce.
Why do women get into predictions like this! I am sure he did not start this overnight
Then she should leave. Pack up , But with a plan. Needs a safe place to hide for a while. Let him pay all the bills and feed himself. She has Children to take care of. They come first. Let him provide for himself. She could get child support any way. lol
She will probably have to move out and get herself a job. And file for divorce
Get a job n move out
How is she going to be able to pay for the housing if she gets him to leave? She should just leave and try to stay with family or something until she can get on her feet. Or start working now so she can move out into her own place
But if she’s a stay at home mom how is she going be paying the bills?? If he leaves
I can understand being a stay at home mom when the situation allows it but if the the relationship has turned toxic and she is not happy then “stay at home mom” is no longer an option. Time to stand up and leave. After all, what was the plan for income without him?
I left with 2 kids…moved to a whole new state with my sister, stayed with her until I got on my feet (1.5 months) filed for divorce…he has visitation but only 3 weeks a year in the summer at his expense…hes 2200 miles away, best thing I ever did…was it hard? Hell yes it was, and it was totally worth it!!!
He dosent have to leave. It’s the family home and he pays the bills. The only thing she could do is file for divorce if married. Then the courts would decide but cause she has no income most likely if the place is own it will be sold and the money split between them. If she is unhappy another option is find a job and get some income of her own and try to find a place she can afford. She needs to make a plan.
To bad she can’t move, I would. Stop doing everything for him, if he’s late for supper, tell him the stove is there.
This sounds ridiculous and out of a 12 year old mouth. You cant kick the husband out if he the one paying the rent let’s be real… she isnt working so what she going to pay the rent with scrapes??. If she wants him to leave so bad why cant she get her shit together first… get a job to where she can afford it all on her own then change the locks or whatever or leave to a family house. I dont get it. Why stay and deal with that and she know she wants to end things. A man won’t leave a place he paying he will keep coming back of course… and hopefully if shes serious about ending things hope she isnt giving him the cookie. Cause then he damm shoooll using her
When there is no violence it us a civil matter. Unfortunately, SHE will need to leave. And with no job/income of her own, it will take time. She needs a long term plan including a job, child care, health ins for kids, etc. It may take a cpl yrs, but if she’s in no danger, it will be worth it…
She needs to get a job become self sufficient and leave then.
Advice only. Go apply for low income apartments for herself and her children get a job and save your money move out and let him keep the house it won’t do you any good if you cant pay for it or can’t pay the bills
She doesn’t have a job so she can’t pay the bills there anyways. WTF is the point in him leaving so they both can’t have the home?
He’s paying the bills. Why would he leave? If he did leave who would pay rent?
She should move instead of him. Sign up for government assistance.
Why can’t she pack up and leave? After all if he leaves who will pay rent? To me the only logical thing to do would be packing everything and either finding a friend to stay with or something else
She can’t make him leave and she needs to get a job instead of waiting for him to grow up.
She should leave then
It’s simple; and not simple. If you haven’t been there you have no idea. Do not bash this woman. I have walked her path, still am. Obviously this was posted because she knows she needs something better for her kids and herself. That being said, there is no ‘switch’ for going from no income SAHM to ‘let me just fork over $1000 upfront and likely $300+ weekly for full time day care for her toddler and infant’ How the hell do you expect her to pull off that shit? Let alone have gas money to drive to work? Hell does she even have a car? You didn’t ask, you didn’t listen, you just judged. Be ashamed most of you.
If you’re reading this friend, feel free to PM me. I can’t make it
Better, but I can listen. I survived this. Left in Feb of 2019. Prayers.
Find a job, find low income apartments. It might take being in an uncomfortable one bedroom apartment to get by but the end will be worth it. She could also get child support and possibly alimony if she’s been married for long enough. But don’t depend on that, it’s support, not a paycheck.
If he is the one working and paying the bills than it’s his house she should be the one to get a job and move out
She needs to leave him
Get a job and leave herself. Go stay with a relative or friend with the kids. It sounds more like shes just unhappy and needs to leave. Doesn’t sound like the worst situation in my opinion they just sound like they’re unhappy together and need to seperate.
Cut him off! No cooking, laundry, affection, sex, nothing!! Treat him with respect like you would a roommate. Nothing more. When he gives you money for food and bills say thank you and do your job. Take of of your kids. Take care of yourself. Start signing up for day care assistance, work force, whatever is available in your area. Get out and move on. Don’t be a victim. Don’t look weak. You can do it.
She can file for separation it’s a bit cheaper than divorce.
Throw all his shit out on the lawn and change the locks.
This is between her and her husband! They need to come to a decision!
She should speak to an attorney for legal advice. If money is an issue, perhaps her State and county has a free legal aid center. She may be surprised at what she could get as far as financial assistance. Child support for 4 children and perhaps spousal support. It sounds like a miserably unhappy situation and I really feel for your friend.
File for divorce… Go before judge… emergency injunction… judge will award her & kids the house… cops will hv to enforce and come and gv him 30 min to get his stuff… judge will award her temp child & spousal support until divorce and court orders are finalized… it’s what I had to do after 26 years & 3 kids & judge awarded me & kids the house and cops made him leave…
Why doesn’t she leave? He’s paying the bills so why should he be the one to leave?
Change the locks and get a restraining order and I just hope you can support your kids
She would have to pack up and leave, she can’t legally kick him out. Especially if the place they are living in in in his name too. Until she is able to do so, she needs to talk with him. She needs to discuss that she no longer wants a relationship and that she is no longer going to care for him in a domestic way. He can’t kick her out legally either. Since they have kids it may have to go to court regarding visitation and child support, but these will be issues for another time. She will need to get a job, probably file for child care assistance and food stamps. There may be a wait for any low rent housing, so she may have to move into a cheap apartment. And she will need to get some legal representation.
She can’t make him leave and besides, who’s gunna pay the bills if he does leave? Your friend, isn’t very smart.
Just file for the divorce once papers are involved, a lawyer and a judge he no longer will get a say. He will also be required to pay child support and possibly alimony since you’re a stay at home Mom. I was in a financially abusive relationship myself and let me tell you it’s amazing being on the other end. It was a tough start at first but now it was worth all of it. If you have a great support system…leave now. You’ll be happier.
I stayed home for a bit and never asked my husband to do household chores after working all day. Maybe a joint account and he can deposit funds into that so the other bills can be paid. Goes to work when he wants to? That confused me. Basically she is living single with children and is provided for. Maybe wait it out til kids are in school then she can get a part time job. It will be very hard for her with 4 children because child support and Spousal support sometimes isn’t paid.
I can’t believe some of y’all … I feel sorry for her, what a terrible position to be in… How is she being lazzzy if she is literally taking care of "FOUR " CHILDREN… 2 of them very young, one is a " Infant " one is a "Toddler ". We don’t know how long she has been a STay at home mom. We don’t know if the children have medical issues or if she does and we don’t know her job skills. If she has little to no skills then getting a job would cost her more than not working she would go in debt every week. Plus why should she have to Uproot 4 FOUR Children from their Home because they’re Daddy dosen’t know how to act… He is not taking care of their physical or emotional needs at all apparently. He doesn’t come home like he should. So, why is that the children’s fault so they have to be put out on the streets with a Mom with no income or one they never see because she has to work 3 jobs and still can’t make it. No this is not right… until those four children can go to school it would be next to impossible for her to make it on a minimum wage job and taking care of 5 people and ATLEAST TWO OF THOSE PEOPLE IN DAY CARE… No he either needs to leave or get them in a place that has lower rent & pay it so that she can atleast raise their children until school age or she finishes school for a trade or degree in order to take care of them… being thrown to the wind with 4 children to take care of is definitely not the right answer … he made this family also and evidently wanted her to stay at home with the children so… He can either watch them while she works or take care of them and YES I said it !!!
Tell him to get the hell out!! Get a job and live on his own!!!
She should have thought about this 3 kids ago!
I would go apply for cash assistance and when you’re there, as part of the program, they will help you with your resume’ and job search and daycare for the kids (and I also think they help you get on child support too) . It’s not going to be easy but it’s possible to move on with your life with your head held high.
You have s selfish pig for s husband he ant going change so do what you must
LMAO why does HE have to leave the house HE pays for? If she wants out so bad, SHE can leave. He legally doesn’t have to go anywhere til a JUDGE tells him to
It’s his fuckin home. Your friend better find a damn job and get out on her own.
Sucks for her that she was stupid enuf to make herself completely dependant on him
She can go get on Section 8, or apply at a apartment for low income. And there is snap. It will not be easy at first, at least until she gets a divorce, and child SUPPORT…
Leave my oldest daughter father was like this this was the last straw with me I left littraly only one plate and a fork in the damn sink he got home and started putting me down and said I want you to leave I’m good for nothing type crap so I said fine I called my mom dressed my kids and left for good
Change the locks and file for divorce
Pack the kids up and leave? You cant make someone leave who pays the bills and that’s basically her only other choice is to leave herself. 💁
She is more than capable of leaving lmfao. How does she think she’s gonna pay for shit when he’s gone? Unless shes got a side piece ready to move in and pay for her to live
Financial restriction is abuse.
Tell him to get the hell out!! Don’t take any more of his s***! Get a backbone and stand firm!
And if you won’t tell him I will…
If he won’t leave then she should leave problem solved
File for divorce, get a court order, separate maintained, and child support. The the cops can do something.
Takes ur kids and get out why wait for a man who ain’t changing
Do like I did with my first husband and go get separation papers and they’ll kick him out. I gave my husband 2 weeks to get out. But we didn’t have kids together but I would say speak to a lawyer
Send him a certified letter through the mail addressed to only him giving him 30 days to leave the residence.
She needs to file for divorce and have the law put him out
Justin Davis what should she do?