My friend’s daughter started middle school in a new town this year. The girls at her new school have been bullying her. Yesterday she came home wholly devastated. The girls told her a boy liked her and wrote fake notes asking her to be his girlfriend. When she went up to him and told him, she liked him too, and yes, she would be his girlfriend, everyone laughed at her and made fun of her for the rest of the day. She refused to go to school today, which I completely understand, and today they decided that she is going to be homeschooled. Has anyone been through bullying with their kids and have advice?
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Sounds like it’s time she learned how to throw a proper throat punch…
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Damn. I just got all white trash so imma hold my answer lol.
Lets just say if my kids going to be homeschooled, it’s because she punched that kid right in the f****** mouth LOL.
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Ugh. Go straight to the source. Talk to the parents, principal, kids and if it continues, press harassment charges.
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Why make your daughter have to be homeschooled?!..make bullies go do thier homeschool and stood your ground go to princals have talk about this…bullies is not okay
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Sounds to me like she should have knocked them on their butts. 🤷
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I loose my shit so i dk … Id be up at that school pullin teachers, kids and parents out the class goin off 🤷
I’m that mom that would be in that school telling those kids to leave her alone MYSELF! Not appropriate though however almost guaranteed the little brats will leave her alone.
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Yes. My daughter was bullied by this one brat who was so sneaky that she wasn’t caught. She would bully other kids too. She’d hit them with books when the teacher wasn’t looking, she would take their things and their food at lunch. I was about to snatch her mama up! This year we are doing online school and we love it! Btw, so sorry that happened. Kids are so cruel!
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Yes mom give them the stink eye. If school doesn’t help, she belongs somewhere else
tell the principal, that should always be dond first, and if that doesnt work, talk to the parents
Yes, I went straight to the source. I talked to the school and parents of the kids. We all had a meeting and it stopped.
Kids are terrible. I’m so afraid my daughter will be bullied because of her sweet nature.
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By home schooling her u teaching her to run away from her problem. Go see the principal
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If she still has the notes, make copies then take them to the principal, and explain what happened. This bullying issue with kids these days needs to be treated as against the law, make these kids do true community service working for those less fortunate than themselves, picking up trash in parks in those bright orange vests, or if out in the country, shoveling cow patties for farmers. 3rd offense takes them to 30 days of juvi. I’m so sick of hearing stories like this, and worse and no real punishment for the bullies. Bullying will never end if we don’t do something real about it.
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I’m teaching my kids to punch anyone who bullies them. 
is it right? Nope. But i was bullied and i will not let my kids go.through that. Had I just beat the shit out of my bullies I’m pretty sure they would have left me alone. Especially because schools don’t care. They support bullying.
Her mom sounds like shes being her advocate.
Sounds like other things haved happemed too…
If they both are up for homeschool, seems like a good choice
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The best way to handle a bully is to confront them directly, in public. Walk up to them haul off and just bitch slap them. They’ll be shocked that you had the balls to fo that, and in the 1 to 2 seconds that they’re standing there in disbelief, is when you strike. Pounce on them and whip their ass.
You might get beat up, you might get in trouble, but at least you proved to everyone that you’re not afraid to standup for yourself.
Tell her to punch the meanest girl out the group… 3 day suspension but them girls will think twice
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Ask her if she wants to be homeschooled. So many options out their now. I wish it would have been an option when I was younger.
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I’m that mom that’d tell her to defend herself and beat they ass and I’d get her in karate or kickboxing
I’m so scared to send my future children to public school cause the bullying has gotten way out of hand and the school districts don’t care
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My son was the one that beat up the autism boy in oskaloosa Iowa was the one that bullied my youngest son I took a picture of him and showed the oskaloosa police department go to the school board and tell them why you are taking her out
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Talk to school counselor
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Since i was pregnant I’ve been researching how to teach my children about bullies and what to do when it comes to bullying, go to google and also go to the principle.
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It seems like the school has a very specific list of things they consider bullying. My son was attacked by an older student right after school, and nothing was done because of it being done off school property. However…not too long ago their “argument of reassurance” for other parents was that the children are the schools responsibility until they enter their home. We don’t have bussing in our town, which makes it harder for those students who have to walk to and from school especially when they’re being followed by the kids that are constantly bullying others. I hope she finds peace with this situation no child should ever be afraid to attend school because of bullies!! I’m so sick of it!
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An open letter to your friends daughter.
Hey girl, I know you don’t know me, but I’ve been you. I’ve been the kid that others liked to pick on, I’ve been the easy target, and I’ve been the girl who wants to give it all up for an easy out. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Those nasty girls doing those things to you, are miserable. They’re lonely (they may hang out together now but give it a year or two and I guarantee they’ll all hate each other) they’re hurting. But instead of dealing with their own pain on their own, they’re taking it out on you. Because it’s so much easier to hurt somebody else than it is to fix yourself. It’s so much easier to look at someone else and make fun of the way they look, than it is to look in the mirror and scrutinize their own appearance. I’m not saying that gives them the right to bully you, heck no it certainly does not. But it says way more about them, and their terrible attitude, and their terrible feelings, than it does about you, or your appearance, or your behaviour. Don’t ever let the way someone else speaks to you, or acts towards you, influence the way YOU feel about yourself. At the end of the day, you are the one that matters. You are important, you are beautiful. You are special. And nobody can take that away from you. But babygirl, you can’t prove to yourself how strong you are if you run away from the problem. Home school is not the answer. Home school is a punishment you are imposing on yourself because you don’t think you deserve to be around those girls. Because they made you think that. You need to show them and yourself how strong you are, and persevere. You stand up tall and proud and walk into that school. And when those girls start talking down on you, you walk away. Don’t entertain them for a single minute. You tell every teacher you see that those girls aren’t acting proper. You stand up for yourself and make a scene if you need. MAKE the adults listen, MAKE the adults enforce the rules and be responsible for putting an end to bullying. Be your own advocate, and don’t ever let anyone put you into a metaphorical box and silence you. You are amazing, you are special, you are worth it.
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They need to teach her to be confident and stand up to bullies not run away so to speak. She should have had a meeting with the principal and her daughter and the girls.
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My daughter was being bullied. Went to superintendent w it and notified the parents. Superintendent took the bullies side cuz they had the same story! I couldnt believe it! I went off on him and we decided to switch schools. She now is 14 and stands her ground. She is a lot happier socially as well. Try g2the school w it and see if they will mediate. If they don’t, then just switch schools, but she shouldn’t be isolated from kids being homeschooled. Ik it’s the easier choice, but she may have her friends in the neighborhood, but loses the chance at more friends and also, the chance of gaining strength to stand her ground. I hope it works out w your friend’s kid
My son was bullied so bad that after 4X going to the school and them not doing ANYTHING we finally went to the police they ended up taking care of the situation by going to the parents of the children and threatened to charge the parents. So sorry about this, I wish you all the best 
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Going to the cops will help
Time to contact the school. This is not right. She has every right to enjoy middle school. Hell if I was you I’d be going to her school and talking with these bullies. Nothing puts fear into kids like a angry momma bear! I’ve given my kids the right to fight back but only if they have too.
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What did the teachers and principle have to say
My sons been bullied school wouldnt do shit. I hunted down bullies mom made it clear what her demon crotch spawn does to my son ill be doing it to her ass 10 times worse bullying stopped
I went to the principal when they were bullying my daughter. They contacted the parents. I can’t say it helped completely, but it helped some (some of it was racial). We ended up moving(we planned it before the bullying started). The other thing, you may want to find out why shes being bullied. Kids can be cruel. Clothing & styles matter to kids. It’s weird what can cause it!
Do not just yank this child out of public school and put her on homeschool 
homeschooling leaves children under developed in things like social skills and serious character development.
Do go to the school, approach the situation in person. Show her that backing down is not an option. That when life knocks you down you just have to get back up and make life your bitch. Teach her to be tough. Because this world is full of bullies from the day your born until the day you die and if you let her run and hide she will never learn how to correctly cope with the issues life throws at her
Climb the ladder, principal, superintendent, school board.
Go find said childs mother. Sometimes just mom knowing will take care of the matter better than anyone. I know what would happen if another parent told me my kid was doing this…my kids know too!
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That is so wrong to bullying any kid my two girls got bullied in high school they dont go back there for they class reunion never
This is one subject I’m terrified of.
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Her parents need.to teach her to stand her ground. Knock one of them little *itches on their ass the rest will flee. Sorry but not sorry. My kids principle wont do anything. When not daughter was getting physically bullied she tolls him he said “whatyou want me to fight your battles for you” I showed up at the school the next day and said nope sure don’t but if you don’t stoo him ill rock that orange jump suit and beat that kids ass
She needs to be confident in who she is and what she brings to the table. Confident kids dont get bullied.
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If she’s gonna be homeschooled then that solves their problem. People are always gonna be mean to you and you need to just get over it and not let it bother you
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Tell your children to DEFEND THEMSELVES!!! An I say that with nothing but respect. Kids only mess an pick on other kids they think won’t defend themselves. This world is turning everyone into a victim an how to be a victim
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I would have went to the school and probably do something that I shouldn’t do. Don’t. Mess. With. My. Child.
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Girls are the worst unfortunately, I was bullied in middle School and it’s hard to get through. She can’t stay a victim or it will continue into adulthood. She has to stand her ground and don’t let them win. That’s doesn’t mean to start being mean herself just to not let them get over on her. Get her involved in things that can help build her up so she can find her strength to deal with the mean girls.
Maybe I’m the odd one out here but that seems like standard junior high behavior that has been around forever
Pulling her out of school over one incident is not going to help her learn how to cope with things in life
You all need to teach her to rise above those girls and that as embarrassing as what happened is IT WILL PASS
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Pulling her out of school solves nothing. It just pulls her farther away from being properly able to handle social interaction. We all experience things, good and bad, and we learn from those experiences. If you take away the chance for her to experience life, she may miss out on being bullied, but she will also miss out on having friends and navigating the bad and the good things that happen each day with in the walls of a school. Go to the school and demand a meeting with the teacher and the principal and the girls who instigated. Tell them if it doesn’t stop you’ll get the law involved. Whether it’s to sue the school for not taking useful action or it’s against the girls and their parents. I’m not saying things won’t get harder before they get better, but if she pushes through, ignores them, and manages to make other friends there, she will learn so much about herself and about others. Don’t take that away from her. Not because of one negative experience. Life is full of bad things. Don’t teach her to hide from them.
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Help her to learn the traps. Think of scenarios that could possibly happen and how to respond. She needs some street smarts so she isn’t so vulnerable.Teach her how to rise above the petty shit. She will gain confidence.Wouldnt hurt to have a few self defense courses under her belt in case shit gets serious
I’m that mom that would be showing up to the school with the names of all those rotten girls the same day she refused to go and if the principal didnt do anything well guess what?? Looks like I’m meeting those kid’s parents
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I went through this my daughter when she was in High School. I got a hold of the principal and he said he’d take care of it. Guess what?? He didn’t. So guess what I did? I called the Superintendent of the schools in my town. I told him what was going on with my daughter and he took of it Principal was fired.
Note: the Principal knew the parents of the girls bullying my daughter and told them that he took care of it. He didn’t want loose his friendship with these parents
WOW really?
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Enroll her in self defense classes
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Find the kids mother and tell her to fix it Or someone else will.
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Talk to the school get involved
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I went through this with my grand daughter. I went to the bullies house and told them I couldnt touch her kid but if she didnt set her daughter straight, I’d beat her ass in front of her daughter! Problem solved.
Yes. Homeschooled is much better. Your child is in your hands. So many plusses there!! Don’t worry about bullying, gun violence, fights in general, nothing. As long as you have the time to spend I think it’s a great idea. Nobody messes with my kids anymore because I’ll go straight in the school and confront everyone there
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Horrible what they did to her horrible but 99 percent of girls if you speak to them even the so called popular ones will say at times they have been bullied and more than likely have young girls have a desire to be accepted you look at a teenage girl funny and they think you are picking on their clothes or looks they do it to each other because of their own insecurities
Honestly? (And hold the BS judgement, you can raise your kids how you choose, as will I) She’s probably gonna have to whoop someones ass at some point. Prepare her for that. Sadly, until she shows otherwise they will continue to mess with her 
kids are assholes. Sad facts.
Homeschooling, that solves it for now. But through all walks of life she will probably deal with things like this. Not everyone is going to like you.
Bring all the kids involved to the principals office , even if she is home schooled , they will just move on to another kid! And this is why we have school shootings , the madness will never stop until the school stops the smart ass kids from bullying!
Tell her to get over it
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I was teased quite often about being a tomboy. I had scraggly hair and didnt wear girly clothing… I’m still like that Haha but what really stuck with me were my dad’s speeches that I still live by as an adult.
“Be a duck” let all the hatred from other people roll right off your shoulders, like water from a ducks feathers.
I know maybe it’s not a solution to the problem, but teach your children that they are going to always face people who are unkind in this world, and that’s a reflection of their character… not yours.
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I don’t think homeschooling solves the issue although I completely understand.
If she still had the notes I would take them to the principal and watch all of them get in trouble. Bullying is usually not tolerated at all so at the very least they will be suspended and maybe then think twice before they bully someone.
Her parents pulling her out of school could possibly have saved her life!!! How many stories about kids commiting suicide have u heard?? Alot!! If parents would just listen to their kids the first time alot of those deaths could have been saved
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My daughter was having a horrible time last year. A group of girls terrorized her at school and by phone at night. Took us a couple weeks to figure out what was going on. Once we did I went straight to their parents house and showed them how their brats were behaving. Only had 1 parent see the evidence and still say my kids not like that
I don’t agree with pulling her out of school. They are not teaching her how to deal with things like this. No matter how old you are you have to face some demons in life. This was one event, I would give it time and tell her to ignore them
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This makes me sad. I’ve been there and I know how difficult other kids can be, especially girls. The difference with today and I when I went to school, is we didn’t have social media like they have now. Yes, we used AIM to chat with each other but that was the extent of it. Unfortunately, these girls will simply find another way to be mean or they will start to pick on someone else, if they aren’t already. While I think telling the school could also have a negative impact because in most cases, they simply just retaliate, it all boils down to the parents of these kids teaching them that this is wrong and withstanding with some sort of punishment, or it will only continue.
Teach her to ignore them. If they stop getting a reaction it stops being fun and they’ll stop the bulling
This was a prank, if an isolated event. I’d resist pulling her out of school and instead teach her how to handle mean pranks. Her life probably feels like it’s over forever now, but maturity is learning to rise above meanness. The school counselor should know about this though to monitor such poor behaviors.The school is wrong to condone it if they plan to ignore it.
My daughter is in middle school as well and all I can say is that the majority of middle schoolers are assholes. Last year my daughter got jumped by some chick she barely knows cuz some idiot started a rumor that my daughter bad mouthed this kid, which she didn’t cuz she doesn’t know her enough to bad mouth her. And my daughter gets made fun of cuz she chooses to be friends with what the others kids consider to be outcasts. I wanted to homeschool my daughter but she’s strong and she said she wants to keep going to school and no one is going to stop her from her education. I’ve talked with the principal and he seemed to have taken care of it. He told my daughter that all she would have to do is go to his office and talk to him. So far this year has gone smoothly and she has made some great friends to stand by her when I can’t be there.
Homeschool is good. But don’t back down. Talk to the principle and the girls parents who were involved. Don’t just sit back and let them win.
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The only tjing she can do is stand up to them.
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The best solution to bullying is non reaction to anything they do. I’ve had this one played on me but I didn’t even care bc the guy would have come himself if that was the case. They got bored really quick with me.
If one of my kids did that to anyone at school or out of school I would kick there ass what is wrong with these people letting there kids get away with shit like this an if I saw it I’m not letting it go
Get her to tell the school so they can keep an eye on these kids, and stop it before they bully more kids
When I was in middle school something extremely similar happened to me. The next 3 years were HELL. No matter what I did I got bullied. I wish I got home schooled at that point but I was told to just suck it up which I did. But it was traumatizing.
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Back in my day, these girls would have gotten a foot in the ass:rofl:
unfortunately kids aren’t raised to stick up or defend themselves anymore
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Fuck them kids now in days if my baby did that you best believe I’d be livid and go straight to the school and tell them everything and go to the parents of that kid or kids then homeschool 
I was bullied once. I punched the chick in the face. This was in grade 3… I was never bullied again. I actually became a bullies bully lol… id stand up for other people who were too scared to stand up for themselves against bullies. Poor girl needs to stick up for herself. hopefully everything blows over… I hate hearing stories like this… 
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Talk to the school principal, superintendent, school board They can’t just ignore this!
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I myself haven’t been in this situation but my sister was bullied! My mum went straight up the school and refused to move until the situation was dealt with! It’s also worth trying to sit down with the parents but home schooling is just isolating her from her friends and school and it’s letting these bullies win! And for those commenting just ignore them well I’m sorry but kids have become more vicious towards one another so it may have worked many years ago but unfortunately in today’s society it’s the case of having to stand up to bullies! I’m so sorry your daughter is going through this but at least she came and told you my sister didn’t tell anyone until it escalated to the point she contemplated suicide! I mean if all else fails by all means take her out of the school but I would personally confront them and the parents and see if the situation can be dealt with! I hope it gets solved! It’s a shame that in this day an age people can’t be civil to each other but instead make them feel like crap!
She knows who these girls are. Go to Principal, counselor or whoever and make sure they are kept an eye on. Interview them individually and ask why they thought this was okay. I imagine the guy was shocked. May even think less of these girls too! He was embarrassed too!!
I understand everyone wants to protect their kids from being bullied, but withdrawling them from school isn’t going to teach them to be resilient when things get hard. It was probably a mortifiying experience for her, but it’s not the end of the world. Bullying hasn’t gotten any worse over time, it’s always been terrible, but kids don’t have coping skills like they used to. I speak from personal experience, if she goes back to school and keeps her head held high, she will gain strength and have a new sense of pride.
You can’t pull her from school! That says it’s ok to run and hide when things are tough. I had a girl going around telling everyone I pushed my best friend off of a parallel bar! I was in elementary school. I didn’t want to go back but my mom made me and it was smart she did that will happen all the time in her life “bullying” if they teach her to back down ! It’s embarrassing yes, but teach her to laugh about it too in front of those assholes and act like it doesn’t matter. They will move on then to bother someone else I’m sure
Yelp stand up for yourself. If you give in to a bully they will always bully you . If all of you have lunch together then stand up on a chair or table ask for there attention and call the bully name out and tell all of them what she done. Don’t be affraid.
Unfortunately, children can be very mean. I would report it to the school and the parents of the other children. If she feels safer being homeschooled, I would definitely go that route, but hook up with a co-OP for socializing. I wish I had homeschooled. The bullying did not end for our son with special needs.
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I was the bullied child in middle school. My mom pulled me out and spoke to the principal and demanded me, my mom, the principal, VP, my bullies, and their moms, all sit and talk and they were forced to apologize to me and had security follow the girls for 2 weeks. That worked for my situation. But I know also something like that could easily make the situation worse if the bully gets mad.
My son was being bullied and the school did jack s**t about it, so I pulled him out. They called CPS on me for Educational Neglect. CPS dismissed case and my son went back to school a few months later and the bullies found a new target. The school will make the child name the bullies which only make it Worse for child, unfortunately it is a no win situation. I think homeschooling is the way to go. I wish my parents did it for me. It would have saved years of therapy.
I’ve been bullied before! I know what it’s like! That’s why I was taken out of school and now I’m an college student in medical assisting!
So sorry. There are several things you can try but for the most part you’re going to see that most schools and teachers really don’t care or it would stop. and the real problem goes back to how parents raise their children from newborn on you find parents are failing to properly teach their children and in lots of homes children are bullied by their own parents and family members.
I’m so sorry that she was bullied I wish the School would have taken my niece seriously then maybe she would not have killed her self. We miss her every day
Years ago my nephew was being jumped in the boys room for his lunch money. School did nothing. I went into the boys bathroom, scared them and got the names and contacted the parents. They had no idea. They paid for clothes they ripped and for his lunches the rest of the year.
Notify the school. They need to know what is happening. It is not ok. Poor child. Breaks my heart for her
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I’m so tired of these cruel kids. Bullying needs to be stopped. Tell the school and have the other parents notified. If that doesn’t work , I would wait after school and see if an adult picks them up and approach the matter. Next if that doesn’t work I will go to the precinct and file a report. There are toooooo many innocent lives being taken away. Not nice. Bully’s suck###
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That is heartbreaking. Kids can be so cruel.
3 of my grandkids are being home schooled. Bullying is the culprit
Get the bully alone and scare the crap out of them.
It’s horrible worse in high school
Bullying needs to be stop
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Poor girl tell some one at school