My friends ex husbands refuses to give back their daughter: Help!

PLEASE help! My friend’s ex husband (who is illegal) took custody of their 4 year old daughter and is refusing to let her see her, talk to her, etc. She keeps filing “contempt of court” but nothing changes. She tried reporting him to INS and they told her “there’s nothing they can do unless he breaks the law” I don’t know how to help her. I don’t understand how a mother with a job & place to live can have this done to her. She doesn’t drink or do drugs. We live in Florida if that helps. Any advice would be great. Thanks

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friends ex husbands refuses to give back their daughter: Help!

Does she have legal custody? If not there’s equal rights at play

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Your friend needs to report the child as a missing person. She needs to report the situation to the court. She needs to report the situation to child protective services. Please help her get an attorney so that these things may be done without delay, before the child is taken out of this country.

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If he is illegal can she notify people like ICE or something? Any ideas where they are? Hire a private investigator? Get a group of friends together even, and essentially act as bounty hunters… dress as a delivery person or something even. Distract him with one person so another can help “steal” her back? Anything. Anything to rescue that baby.

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This is why you need parenting orders in place

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They have to leave the house sometimes…

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Vigilante style if it were my child

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Of someone has parenting time court ordered an the non custodial party doesn’t follow then what?

Did you say illegal?? This is a little disturbing I’m not understanding how she has not one leg to stand on… And there’s absolutely no way that an illegal alien is going to take his ex-wife‘s child and refuse just flat out take the child from the mother like that and it just go unheard of and that is a bunch of BS… Immigration and coupled with the child issue it’s gonna be a whole problem for that guy but what kind of threw up a red flag for me was the fact that you assured us that she has a job a place to live and doesn’t do drugs or drink anything…: are you sure about that because this story is a little shady. Number one no illegal alien it’s just going to snatch their child and flat refuse the mother they are scared to death to have to go back to wherever they’re come from there’s just no way I don’t know if I believe this whole and story and it’s entirety and I would have to have that to be able to render advice accordingly there’s just not enough information here

She needs to file for emergency custody

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Why tf would your friend or any woman would put their baby daddy in that situation by calling immigration. You’re only hurting the child pendeja … just because you’re lucky to be American fuck that . let’s hear the other side of the story.

Unfortunately that’s how it goes! My brothers ex Gf has done the same thing with our nephew! They had a court order in place and when it was his time with his son she refused and hid from him so he was unable to get his son. He called the police and they said there wasn’t anything they could do and that it was a court matter, so he went back to court and it was literally the same thing all over again! It’s now been 4+ years since he has been able to see his son due to her not following the set days!

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If there is no custody she needs to file an ex parte and then the cops can go take her back.

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I’d have her talk to a lawyer

People aren’t illegal. If the child is unsafe, call the authorities over and over again (for documentation even if they don’t “do” anything), make sure to follow thru with every step the court requires/requests. Is there legal aid or can she afford an attorney??? I know what I would do if it were my child, because I did it, but probably not “legal”.

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Do the same thing back… go get the child, and file a restraining order, emergency custody order, and disappear.

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This is why all court agreements have the be able to be police enforced. She has to kidnap her baby back. Wait for him to leave, once he is out of the house whoever is with the child cannot refuse to return her to the custodial parent or they are kidnapping the kid.

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I’m just here to say that people aren’t illegal.

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What do you mean? Does the father have court ordered custody or he’s keeping her in contempt? Please message me because I’m basically a pro when it comes to family court.

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People aren’t illegal, and if that’s how you and your friend see it then the child’s better off and I don’t blame the dad for protecting the kid from bigots. Wow. Yikes.

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If he is here illegally, that should be enough reason to get your daughter back.

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If she’s an American citizen and he’s an illegal… then he kidnapped the child who is an American! Call the cops and ICE!

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Florida is the WORST
Family Law State
Unfortunately

I would literally kick a door down when he’s at work or when he leaves. He’s not with her 24/7.

She needs to file for emergency custody NOW. And get a lawyer ASAP. It would be really easy for him to leave the country with her……

Emergency custody ASAP. Or she can call for a welfare check thru the police department, explain what’s going on and request they bring her outside. When the child comes outside, have mom walk up.

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Emergency custody ASAP. Or she can call for a welfare check thru the police department, explain what’s going on and request they bring her outside. When the child comes outside, have mom walk up.

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Have the cops do a wellness check up

You need to report it as an abduction or kidnapping if you have full custody and provide court documentation showing this to law enforcement. They will do nothing unless you actually have proof that you have been granted full custody and he has no custody rights. If you don’t then things become complicated and in order to get help your gonna gave to get a lawyer and take him to court. I do have a relative that was not married , but dad was a loser and never around, never helped, cheated, and they split, however, after splitting he drove to her house, seen his daughter playing in the yard and as my cousin went to turn off the hose from watering the flowers, she turned and seen her ex grab their daughter and take off. Since there was no official court order in place, police would not assist. I guess, well in Minnesota, the lawyer they hired actually found out through researching and making calls, that if a couple is not married and custody has not been officially established in a courtroom and a judge’s signature, that the mother technically has more rights then the father. I believe he found that through some fellow colleagues and researching to find an actual statute number. He.did find it, showed the statute to the officers, and then they went and picked her daughter up from her exes house and let him know he would have to take her to court and if he did anything like this again he would be arrested. If you have full custody the report it as a kidnapping, if not, contact a lawyer and ask them about your state’s laws regarding this issue. All states have different laws. If he truly has no rights and you try everything and no one helps, well I’m sure you have family and friends who would be happy to help get your daughter back. :sunglasses::100::wink::heart::100:

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Is there a custody order in place? Does she have an attorney? Something definitely wrong here. Is the child school age and attending school? If so mom needs say off go to school and remove child.
Next she needs to call csb and report situation and needing a well check.
The father is a flight risk, attorney can file for emergency hearing on these grounds.
If there isn’t a custody order in place attorney can request at emergency hearing because possession is 9/10 of the law and police will not intervene.
Mom to state dad threatened to take child and flee to home country, this child is a US citizen.
See if immigration can help based on this.
Your attorney can also request his passport be held while proceedings are happening.

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Immigration status is irrelevant…:roll_eyes:
It is BOTH of theirs daughter so he has the same rights mom does regardless of moms employment status
SOMEONE needs to file for legal custody

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I’m sorry I probably won’t be much help here, but Florida laws are a** backwards. ( speaking from experience :roll_eyes:)

Ik if she gets a lawyer they can help but after that any place will tell her that since he the dad that it’s a domestic case

I feel like there isnt a enough info for me to really say anything.

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The system is overwhelmed …

Within reading the first sentence……you should absolutely know that the police needs to be involved and not us :clap:t2:. It’s illegal for him to do that period end of story.

Might just be me, but something feels off… Is there a key piece of information missing? :face_with_monocle:

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I understand Florida is a bad state to be in for this sort of thing. I would contact the state attorney general. The phone number is probably on Google. Explain the situation and ask for help. If she has legal custody that will help. If he’s behind on child support, tell that. Visitation and payment of child support are two separate issues, but I’d still bring it up. Definitely tell that he’s an illegal alien. Tell that you’re afraid he’ll take off for Mexico with her and then you’ll really have a problem. Lay it on thick, don’t lie at all. But give all the details. If the state attorney general won’t help, call your congressman. You can usually find out who that is by calling your local library. Ask for the reference section. They can look it up for you based on where you live. Call the congressman and tell the congressman the whole situation, don’t leave out any details. See if they will help. I know this sounds crazy, but I have had problems in the past and have gone to these lengths in my state. I got help. Try it. You got nothing to lose.

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She needs to discuss this with a real lawyer. We can’t help.

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If she doesn’t have full custody by the court via documentation there is nothing she can do as the police stated. Now back to the whole “illegal” part as I’d guess you are trying to say he isn’t a true citizen meaning he doesn’t have citizenship in this country as of yet - right? Well is your “friend” in this same classification as well because most not all that venture to the US as husband and wife are usually the same status. Let’s hope her doorstep is clean because it would be a shame to be without child and be deported!

Just looked up the laws in Florida and pretty much the same as here is Australia to do with family matters. I’ve been in this situation and you have to file for a recovery order first! He will have to give the child back to you as he has refused you access and I’m assuming you usually have the child with you most of the time? But yeah I looked up Florida laws and you do the same there. Get a recovery order then get parenting orders in place so if it everrr happens again you can involve the police as it would be going against a court order!!! Do it ASAP!!!

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Just looked up the laws in Florida and pretty much the same as here is Australia to do with family matters. I’ve been in this situation and you have to file for a recovery order first! He will have to give the child back to you as he has refused you access and I’m assuming you usually have the child with you most of the time? But yeah I looked up Florida laws and you do the same there. Get a recovery order then get parenting orders in place so if it everrr happens again you can involve the police as it would be going against a court order!!! Do it ASAP!!!

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he is breaking the law kidnapping there daughter

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She needs to talk to a family lawyer.

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If she keeps filing contemp of court, has she had a hearing? She should be filing an Ex-Parte. She files today, they go to court the following day and custody gets temporary appointed that day.

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Both parents have equal rights to a child.
It’s a civil matter and the police can’t do anything.
As long as the child is safe, fed, clean and loved then that’s what matters in the eyes of the law.
If there is a court order in place then that has be honoured.
Your friend need a custody agreement made via a family court and then he will have to return her daughter to stick to the agreement.

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This happens to fathers everyday if the child is in danger contact police for a welfare check and file for court. Unfortunately nothing you can do about it

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My advice is have your friend get a lawyer asap

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Is he on the birth certificate? Lots of states, if the parents aren’t married, but dads on birth certificate, who ever has the child at the moment has “custody” and has no legal obligation to give the child back. But if they have a court order and visitation days set up it w look of be different! If he is not on the birth certificate she could call the police and they would make him give the child back since no paternal proof he is the child’s father

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If she has custody, She needs to get the sheriff to accompany her to get the child. Get a lawyer to keep him away.

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Recovery order and put it through as urgent

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And get u a lawyer asap

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We don’t have recovery orders in the US. She needs to file an emergency custody petition- I am not against immigrants, it’s a legal maneuver- use with with this wording- Due to Mr. So and so immigration status it it is plausible danger he could flea the country with minor child. He currently is withholding the child from biological mother and it is likely he is already planning on removing the child from the US to his country of origin,….
Now it will have to be served to him. Does he have a working address? A contempt order does not have enough teeth unless they actually give the jail time associated with a contempt filing. In the meantime, call for welfare checks from the police on the child ask them to visually lay eyes on the child. If he is in an immigrant community they don’t want the authorities around to draw attention. They are going to get tired of it and possible he loses the support of the community. Also if he leaves the child with anyone you march your rear end in there and get that baby. Call the police if you need to but no one else can keep your child away from you. They become an accessory if they attempt to. Is he working? Who has the baby during that time? Put all the variable in your petition- immigration status, employment or lack there of, housing anything that makes it a dangerous or chaotic environment for a child. Even with a order in place, if he can get a hold of your child he leave the country. Request Supervised visitations only, leave your child with none or out of your immediate custody until he can prove he isn’t a flight risk to the courts.

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How did he go to the courts and get custody if he’s here illegally? Wouldn’t his name pop up as not a citizen and be held for ice

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She needs to do what he did and take her back herself. The cops told a friend of mine that if the child was left with someone else like a family member or sitter they would help her get her child back but as long as the child was with him they would not intervene…so just as he was able to take her and not give her back she can do the same but she needs to think smart… catch him at a park? She can grab her child and leave and there’s nothing he can do.

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Wait I just reread if he was granted full custody then she cannot take the child and just leave but if they have never been to court and he doesn’t have legal custody she can take the child back.

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His daughter too?? Didn’t realise a child was property .

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If there was no court custody order put in place then the court won’t enforce anything so what ever parent has the child at that point has custody til court orders otherwise

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Does she have court ordered custody? If not, the father has just as much right to the kids as the mother does. Tell her to go talk to a lawyer about getting a court order sorted

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It sounds like she’s not giving you the full truth because if he is illegally in America as you say then ICE would do something… If they say they can’t do anything unless he does something illegal, then he’s there legally.

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She needs to do the paperwork for custody and take her

Florida sucks when it comes to kids and no parental plan in place. I went through this with my sons father when he took him and hid him for weeks. You need to file with the courts to fight for her back and then bring up everything. They tend to do things 50/50 in that state

Is the child at nursery or ever at someone else’s house if so go and collect her from there

He’s the father if there aren’t any court ordered papers he has just as much rights as the mom does.

What tf does him being “illegal” have anything to do with this? That didn’t even need to be brought up. Sounds like a racial issue on your end. And “your friend” calling immigration services over a dispute over the child is bs :woman_facepalming:t4:. Of course they told her they can’t do anything unless he comits a crime. Y’all both trying to use race as a winning end. Foh.

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My ex tried doing this and unfortunately things got hairy between us. Wishing you the best luck bc I had to go through a lot of lawyers and money to ensure my daughters mental and emotional safety as well as my own. I did have to go through the courts though and I live in NE so idk if it’s different here.

She needs proper legal advice immediately from a family solicitor.

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All of yall saying call the cops have never dealt with custody papers! Cops don’t intervene! It’s a civil matter! If you don’t have court papers immediately file for emergency custody! But it sounds like you do so ALL you can do is file for contempt and go to court. The judge will order him to return the child to you IF HE SHOWS UP TO COURT.

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I know someone going thru the same thing…so sad :pensive:

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Strange cause he would have a habibat put against him instantly that does cost 5000.00 each time As well and when the second one hits the judge orders police for the return

There’s no custody agreement, so he’s not breaking any law. He has as much right to take care of his child as she does. Mothers do not have automatic custody.
The only thing you can donis go to court.
Get a lawyer.

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Find out where he is and take the kid back cops won’t stop her from getting child take a bunch of big guys with her

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Tell her to try ringing family solicitor brakes my heart things like this I hope she gets her back soon.

Find the group on Facebook called One Moms Battle. Request to join and submit your question anonymously by messaging them. You should get a lot of helpful feedback about this from people who are dealing with siimilar issues. Also, your friend needs to contact a good lawyer ASAP who can direct her what to do next.

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Is there a court order? If not then there isn’t anything she can do other than file for custody. If there is she needs a lawyer.

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She needs to file for emergency ex parte for custody and file a police report

Um, he’s breaking the law by keeping her kid from her

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Hire a PI and take her back and hide

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I would file an emergency custody hearing with the family court where you are at.

Does the child go to preschool or daycare? If so, I’d have your friend go there and pick her up when she goes back before her dad gets there. In most states if there is no custody order, the mom has all legal rights to the child. However if the dad takes the child for whatever reason since there is no order, most cops won’t intervene.

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If there is no parenting plan filed through the court saying she has full custody or it’s her time with the child through visitation… Unfortunately, she’ll have to bring him to court to get a plan established.

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Go take your kid back… I mean that’d exactly what I would do…

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How is he committing a crime if he is the parent? Women do this shit a lot and no one bats an eye because she birthed the child. Suddenly fathers don’t exist if they pull the same crap. Yes it’s a terrible thing because no one wants to go through this and the children are the ones suffering. Remember ladies the child isn’t just the mothers. Some fail to see that. I just had to point out that fact. It’s is a terrible thing when one parent whether is the mother or father pulls a stunt like this because all they accomplish is the fear, pain and trauma for the children. Just because he is the father doesn’t mean he is less than so I’d proceed with caution because he is Not a criminal for doing the same thing women get away with on a daily. This needs to be handled strategically and with an attorney but rest assure that these parents are equals and they better start acting like it for these kids.

unfortunately, there is nothing they, the police, can do, until she goes to court & gets custody, She can also do the same thing he did to her, go & take the child, But please remember this child will remember all of this, unless she is under 3 yrs old. So to help her, get a custody hearing done & do it ASAP, so tell her to get a lawyer

If they don’t have a custody agreement then there’s nothing that can be done. He would be breaking the law & in contempt of court if they did have a custody agreement. If there’s no custody agreement, she will unfortunately have to just wait & see if he will eventually bring her back or find the child herself.

He’s an illegal? Meaning no legal documents giving him permission to reside in the US?! Call ICE!

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If he’s illegal, call ICE😂

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How did she lose custody in the first place? A person has to be deemed “unfit” in court in order to lose full custody.
Does the child stay with the dad 24/7? No school? He doesn’t work?
I hope that my narrow observation missed the obvious.
I feel for the mother. A child shouldn’t be without either parent. Even more so, the mother.
My suggestion, if Mom is truly being wronged, she could confront the father in a public place with security. The more people around the better. Become a psycho mom and start screaming at the top of her lungs. “That’s my child! Give her back!”. “Somebody help!”. Make a fuss, get arrested, and magically her case goes to court. People now have to listen.

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My ex took my first son like this he’s died now god come got him 27 years I waited on my son to come back it’s traumatic for sure we have a connection carrying our babies inside us.they wouldn’t go get my son police told me I didn’t have custody.when you have your baby you immediately file for full custody.so when he takes it he has to bring the baby back.dont tell him either just do it.

Yes she needs to file an emergency hearing in court. The court will absolutely Grant her some level of custody. I mean have her bring every document and explaining that she wants full custody and at this point sole custody because he’s shown that he will not share the child. But silent emergency orders saying that he is withholding the child from her she is able to provide a stable home has an income and was a primary caregiver. Have her explain that the father is unstable and unreasonable and causing the child detriment by keeping her from the mother. Also she can ask for a wellness check because she hasn’t seen her daughter she has no proof that she’s alive and well. Hate to say it but there is a huge epidemic of parents killing their kids in the last couple years of this country. She needs a wellness check to make sure her child is okay. Tell her to document everything try to get audio and video recording of everything. I’m so sorry this is probably so scary for her little girl.

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This is so sad and toxic. The only one he’s hurting is the child.

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There’s nothing she can do , she has to go to court ASAP , the father has the same rights as she does

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My ex husband did the same thing to me when I let them see him for Father’s Day. My kids were born before the marriage. In Illinois, custody automatically goes to the mother if children are born out of wedlock and the police do have to help you get your children back. It is a law! I was lucky enough for a lawyer to look up an excerpt from an Illinois law book and I used that to get the police to help me. I knew my law and they could not argue.

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No custody agreement then find where the kid is an take her. He can’t stop you from taking her. It’s what I was told when I had a similar situation. Now even though we fixed ourselves and worked things out an are together now. I did file for custody and I have primary custodial care while he only has part time custody. We agreed to do 50/50 if we ever separated again. But I’d be the primary care provider and main parent.

First of all, no parent can TAKE custody. He has just as much right to have his child with him as she does. If there is not a custody agreement in place then she should probably secure an attorney. Im not sure what him being illegal has to do with anything it certainly didn’t matter when making a child together but now it’s an issue?
Just tell her to go get an attorney and go from there. I don’t understand why people act Like this. No one suffers but the kids.

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Unfortunately unless she has custody there is nothing she can do about it

I’d be taking her back period. He is illegal it’s adios for his ass

The only solution that’s works is getting him deported. You have to get that enforced!

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I had that happen to me too. Get attorney fast.