My friend is 32 weeks pregnant. She is not having a baby shower, nor has she bought anything for the baby. She said her husband said it was a stupid idea to buy anything till the baby comes. She wants to buy stuff but doesn’t in fear of an argument etc. She loves her baby, just not sure why the husband is unwilling. They have a blended family of kids in the house. No babies so there isn’t anything baby… should she go against his wishes and buy and also trying to understand why he’s so unattached about it like it’s not happening in a few weeks.
Does she know what shes having
No one… husband or not is going to tell me what I can and can not buy for our child. Lol
Sounds like she is scared of him.
It’s stupid to buy things before the baby is born? The only stupid thing here is that pretentious man
Hmmm, it’s NEVER too early to start buying diapers. Just sayin! Keep all the receipts. He needs to quit being an ass.
She needs at least enough baby stuff to last until shes able to go shopping after the baby. Wash clothes, recieving/swaddle blankets, baby clothes, diapers, formula, a bassinet or crib for the baby to sleep. What exactly is he planning to do, drag her and the newborn to the store the day she gives birth? He sounds ridiculous
Man I hope shes ready for his bullshit to crank way the fuck up when she has this baby and he feels like theres no escape for her
Not putting be up with his shit
Ok so what about a car seat? And the clothes to go home in? The baby can’t travel home using a seat belt and just wearing a nappy! She needs to buy some essential things at least!
She needs to get stuff together and be ready for it… and if he wont let her she may need to get out while she can. For some reason he dont want this baby, we know he wont go buy the stuff once the baby is here… someone needs to help her and get a shower together
The husband is a moron. No one would tell me what I could or couldn’t buy for my child.
She needs to have a conversation with her husband and ask why he feels this way. Then she can tell him she is going to buy the baby stuff and that she doesn’t agree with him. It’s stupid to be unprepared.
Well baby has to have a car seat and clothes in order to even come home. To me or sounds more like an abusive relationship. Or maybe he has no planes of her bringing the baby home and is going to try and make her give the baby up, or maybe he is just going to split and leave her to do it all by herself. I have seen that happen before to a lady I knew.
Have a Surprise baby shower for her
Has he suffered through an infant loss or know someone who has? That could be why he is responding this way.
I started buying when i found out at 5 weeks… She needs a new husband
Lol “let her”? Smdh it’s not 1945 and it’s not Ricky won’t let Lucy have a dress
She should, get rid of him and go on a shopping spree.
Well he’s stupid and I’m surprised a family member hasn’t brought up how dumb that idea is. Idk this is why I tell people hold off on having a baby with someone until you see their true colors.
Just go buy the baby shit.
This doesn’t make sense! What is the baby going to wear when it gets here?
Is there a reason for him not wanting her to shop before hand? I ask this cause a friend of mine had a history of late miscarriages and couldn’t handle seeing all the baby stuff afterwards and they ended up waiting till after their child was finally born before going and getting stuff. And is he wanting her to get nothing at all or is she still able to get the required stuff like car seat bed something for this baby to wear home blankets
She needs a new husband
Can you do a surprise shower for her? Just so she has the stuff she immediately needs?
How he acts now is what she should expect all.the time pretty sure she knows his character by now and because she accepts it get will continue
Sounds like a real asshole…maybe he’s planning on selling the kid.
I would i mean it’s got to be super stressful to not be prepared.
She should probably leave since he sounds like an abusive piece of crap that isn’t going to be good to her or the baby…
Why are you meddling in someone else’s business ?
He’s an idiot get the most important things now and he can learn to accept it. No one runs around to buy baby stuff unless they didn’t know they were expecting.
Ummmm… this is just ridiculous!!! You have to prepare for a baby! What a jerk for making her more stressed out than she needs to be! I had my boys rooms ready at least a few weeks in advance! I say go shopping girl!
Maybe there is an underlying reason. I mean does she need stuff yes but if there is an underlying reason that would definitely be more understanding.
She’s excited that mother is trying to nest an not cost them a bunch of last minute money. Everything baby rounds up to 600 or more at first
She could get home an baby may not take to hospital formula an then she would need that extra money to switch them.
She should do as she wishes.
Um yes. You gotta have stuff…what’s the plan? Go shopping with a mom who is 1-3 days post birth with a couple day old baby and fit crib or bassinet, a toy or 2 and anything else all in the vehicle at once? What do they even plan on brining thr baby home in. You can’t walk out of that hospital with no carseat
That is really bizarre.
She will NOT want to be shopping for shit she/ baby needs just after having a baby nor will she likely have time to. Yes, she should buy things she needs for baby now regardless of how he feels because she will likely be the one regretting it later. She should also have a conversation with her husband about why he’s being so weird.
I’ll be damned if my husband was going to tell me I couldn’t buy stuff for my baby. He is abusive? Went through a loss? There are things she needs to have soon as babe is born.
Haha let her? I’d do what I wanted and buy for my baby. I’m the type that has to be prepared I dont have time or patience for chaos right after giving birth
One. Throw that woman a surprise baby shower, the husband can’t say no cause you didn’t know… And they really need to have a talk
Gonna need a crib…
I know a lot of people who don’t buy anything for the baby until it’s born. Due to cultural reasons. I also don’t see how this is ANY of your business!!??
Maybe help put away a layaway if any stores near you offer that.
That’s where you come in!!! Hide stuff for her and bring it when baby is born! What are friends for?!
This is an old fashioned view. It’s incase the baby doesn’t come home in the end. My father was the same way. He didn’t want me having anything in the house until baby was here. It’s a superstition.
There are a lot of superstitions that its bad luck to buy a baby things before they’re born. Perhaps he doesn’t want bad luck for the baby.
Id go shopping anyway…screw him.
Car seat how will the baby get home? Crib/bassinet where will baby sleep? I could go on for awhile. He sounds abusive and like he is hoping the baby doesnt come home at all.
I would buy a few essentials, wash them and store them at your house. Tell her to try to save some money to be able to leave him in an emergency. She needs to kick him to the curb
Unless she’s had problems conceiving I don’t understand why he’s taking that stance. So perhaps you and a few of her other close friends and her relatives can secretly by the basics, keep them at your house, and then have a larger celebration once the baby comes so she’s not completely unprepared.
Yes she needs to have stuff to be prepared… the dude needs to chill and realize that.
Throw her a suprise baby shower
When the baby comes you need stuff immediately. It’s going to be extremely difficult to buy things once the baby is here because it’s going to require all of your attention. Wtf tell her to buy the shit she needs and if he doesn’t like it tough luck guy. Sounds like a dickbag
Sounds like he is in denial that a baby is coming. I would think buying a little each month is better than a lot all at once. I delivered at 33 weeks, so imo the time is now. He sounds unreasonable.
You’re her friend, please throw her a surprise shower! She absolutely needs to be somewhat prepared for this child! If he won’t let her-PLEASE DO SOMETHING FOR HER SO SHES A LITTLE MORE AT EASE!
it’s hard to drop money like that all at once for all the necessities!
Is it for cultural or religious reasons that you may not be aware of? I knew a woman whose family believed buying anything before the baby was born could bring bad luck.
I think it’s more so superstition. Maybe he doesn’t wanna buy anything yet until baby is born in case something goes wrong during labour and they end up losing the baby. Also you’re meddling and looking to much into it. He’s not being abusive, he’s just being worried! My friend didn’t buy anything until after she had baby. I’m 5 months and I don’t want to buy anything yet until I’m closer to the due date, and even then just things I know we’ll need right away. I won’t even let my mother in law buy anything yet because it’s too soon.
Uhhh you got to atleast buy a couple things clothes for baby to wear from hospital, blanket, diapers, carseat so you can take baby home you can’t have nothing…I’m confused why no baby shower sounds more like an abusive husband in my eyes
Throw the whole goddamn husband out. I’ll be damned some man, the father or not, tells me not to get something for my child. Nooooooope.
Sounds stupid honestly me and my husband with our 2 waited till around 36 weeks but we had a miscarriage before I conceived my 3 year old so we were always scared something might happen
She needs some diapers & wipes and a few outfits ATLEAST! Wtf?! Who wants to go shopping in those first few days?!
Ugh, sad seeing there are still husbands who have all the say over wives in 2020. I do whatever the hell I want, have been forever, suits me far better.
Unless they are super rich and can go out the say baby is released and buy everything than she absolutely should be buying!!! If something is going to happen to the baby, it’s going to happen regardless if they buy anything or not!!
You need to have everything ready for the baby. I would buy what I want and need for the baby.
Maybe he thinks it’s not his kid? Or he just wants to save money. Obviously she has to have a car seat to take the baby home in and clothes. So like is it she has stuff just not a lot of stuff?
So he wants to like assemble a crib and set up a nursery what like when she’s giving friggin birth? He sounds stupid AF and like he doesnt understand how time works. If she gives broth vaginally they will be in the hospital for like a day. They should be stocking up on diapers and bottles and wipes and the baby at least needs somewhere to sleep. Absolutely the husband is wrong and shouldn’t be in charge of getting things ready
So if she waits…
How is the baby getting home without carseat?
What’s the baby gonna wear once its born? Like home?
So they are gonna take a newborn to the store and buy its bed and all that only hours after the baby being born?
Not making a lick of sense to me …
She needs to buy stuff soon. Take her shopping anx let her leave it with you.
She needs to get a woman he his close with to talk to him
There could be several reasons why he doesn’t want her to buy anything yet. If she makes her own money she should be able to do what she wants with it, if not, as long as the baby gets what it needs it doesn’t really matter
Not smart to wait till baby pops out with u having no diapers, wipes, clothes , bed, carseat etc there waiting when u get home. He would have to go shopping with out u and pick it all out not cool. Get the stuff u want and need .
She needs to start buying stuff months ago but definitely now jesus shes making me nervous. Fuck him tell HIM your buying stuff. Poor woman the urge to nest is out of necessity xxx
Go with her for shopping, buy whatever she wants and keep them at your place…
My mom was superstitious and didn’t get anything for any of her kids before we were born. She was scared she’d lose the baby if she prepared for us. We’re all fine.
Or she can hide stuff at your house
That’s awful. He’s taking the joy out of having a baby. Does not bode well for the future!
Have they had losses before? Maybe he’s afraid she’s going to lose the baby?
Maybe he is planning a surprise baby shower and doesn’t want her to buy something that might be gifted to her??
I get it. I didnt buy anything for my daughter because I had a still born at 40 weeks and had to come home from the hospital to clean up all the baby stuff I had. It was almost as gut wrenching as losing my babes. Maybe he is superstitious or just wants to be cautious
Y’all have her a shower! Maybe he is waiting to see if people will buy them stuff. But I would so go buy stuff! If we talked about it and he has good reason, maybe, but he is not going to refuse to let me get things with no explanation.
Has he had a child pass away before?
He can run around and buy everything during her 2 day stay in the hospital. Let him run ragged putting everything up & together. It’s not the end of the world
Sounds like I wouldn’t leave that baby alone with him.
Makes absolutely zero sense
I’m also wondering if he’s experienced a loss in the past…
Buy the dam Clothes what’s the baby going to wear is he stupid
Some people are superstitious and say it will bring bad luck to the baby…I’m not but I’ve known people that did the same for that reason
He is probably wanting to wait until baby has arrived safe & well before getting things in. A lot of people are very superstitious.
He could be a jerk or possibly pain from a miscarriage still haunting him. I remember how hard it was for me to not think of the negative after my miscarriage.
That’s a talk that needs to happen between her and her husband.
Maybe he or someone close to him suffered a loss? I was afraid to buy anything at all until I was 6 months, after I lost my last. I still have my lost babies clothes hanging in the wardrobe 5 years on.
Maybe you could shop together and keep the baby stuff at yours just for now. That way it’s all ready for when baby comes.
You and her go buy a few things and save it at your house so she has something to bring the baby home in and lots of diapers
Uhm yea! Go buy baby shit fuck what he says
Could be fear loss I know some that like that
Why wouldn’t he want to be prepared?
My husband was like this for our first. We had a baby shower but he requested that people give us IOU’s because he was afraid of us losing the baby somehow. Talk to him and figure it out together.
Holy crap my baby daddy said the same thing!!! He threw a kegger and called it a baby shower (I wasn’t there) I got a car seat stroller combo when I was 34 weeks and he got mad at me! He said we would get a Car seat on Black Friday or from the baby shower. We didn’t get one for that kegger shower nor did we get one on Black Friday. Luckily I bought mine when I did!
Hes taking her natural nesting away thats messed up
I’m due April 20th and have already gotten stuff for baby I got a stroller for free , clothes from people , a swing , a viberating chair , ordered the carseat last month. I think she should buy some of the items she needs right away diapers carseat etc
He could not want to buy anything in case the baby dies and doesn’t come home. He says he doesn’t want to buy until the baby is here not buy at all.
How do you not buy anything until baby comes? Is he planning on buying the car seat, crib, swing, diapers, clothes, burp rags, blankets etc before they’re discharged? Or is he planning on taking her fresh from the hospital possibly with complications & brand-new baby out to buy all the things baby needs? I see this as a form of neglect & abuse to her. Shes scared to do what she feels is right & plan for her baby because it’ll cause an argument. He’s controling her. She needs to get out! It’s only going to get worse once baby is here.
Do you know why?
People who have struggled getting pregnant &/or have suffered miscarriage or infant loss will often times wait.
Maybe your friend should be asking him the reasons behind his thought process of wanting to wait.
When she says anything …does she mean nothing even essentials or just all the extras that momma’s likes to buy? Maybe with blended families, money is short and they can only afford the necessities… really need more detailed info before we all go crazy and tell her to take her share of the kiddo’s and split… we haven’t heard his side!