Stop trying so hard to fix a situation that isn’t fixable. Their dad made a choice…take his ass to court and get child support set up as well as visitations thru a judge. Then let the system take care of him. I think you should explain it to your girls that daddy isn’t making good decisions right now, so you’re putting your foot down and stopping all contact until he gets his crap together or the courts set visitation. Just be honest with them as much as you can.
Do not force him. Just let it go. I got fed up and stopped forcing it. He disappeared for 2yrs, decided to come back around and now we are in a good co-parenting spot. Forcing was just hurting the children more, they can see and notice who’s there and who’s not. Just whatever you do don’t talk bad. When my daughter would ask why daddy wasn’t taking her I’d just tell her daddy’s busy at work.
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He clearly has made his choice that his gf is more important. How sad for your kids if they feel or see that.
You can’t tell him what to do when he has them unless you have been to court…which you like so many baby mama baby daddy stories on here YOU HAVE NOT DONE!!! Shut up, grow up DO IT THE LEGAL WAY!!! HE CAN TAKE THOSE GIRLS AWAY FROM YOU AND KEEP THEM AND THERE AINT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT SINCE YOU HAVENT BEEN GIVEN LEGAL CUSTODY…
Ypu can’t force anyone to be a proper parent. I’d just let him know he can’t be a yo-yo dad. He can’t come and go when it pleases him. It affects your kids when he does that. Either he is present dad or not. He has to choose.
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You keep messaging him to see his daughters, and now he’s messaged and asked to see his daughters you don’t know what to do? Sounds a little bit like game playing with this bit to be honest…
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He chose his girlfriend over his girls
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You can never force someone to see their children. Kick him to the curb
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Always protect the kids first !If he wanted to be a decent Dad he would be.The girls don’t need him acting a fool wirh his new GF if he can’t grow up and handle both situations with his own daughters they have to be protected !Question is do the kids want to visit ?Depends upon the state also .I have two grandchildren that HAVE to see their terrible father they are ages 7 and 4 and they cry when they have to go that’s Not fair either .Something needs to change in the system with these things poor kids are suffering !Good luck 
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******* Be careful in communicating with him ******
He may be texting, emailing to make it look like you wouldn’t allow him to see them or have contact with them, as in being your fault and use that against you in court etc… so BE VERY CAREFUL in your communicating with him and your words.
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Of course he shut down and quit. You want to dictate everything he does and how he does it when your girls are around. Instead of encouraging them to talk to their dad about their issues and help facilitate the conversation, you told him what to do and gave him ultimatums. And now you can’t understand why he stopped trying? He feels like he can’t win. He feels like he can’t even control his parenting in his time without you interfering in every part of it. What did you expect would happen? Put yourself in his shoes. If something happened with you at your house, would you rather the girls came to you to talk about it, or go tattle to him and have your ex dictate your every move. This isn’t reality. You’re doing your kids a disservice by not teaching them how to communicate and voice their opinions in a healthy manner, so they can work through their problems. It’s fine to be a safe space, but it’s not fine for you dictate what he can and can’t do on HIS TIME with HIS GIRLS. He has every right to be upset. This is YOUR fault, and you need to own up to your endless need to control him and fix your relationship with him. He needs to set healthy boundaries with you, and call you in it when you overstep. In the same way, you need to recognize that you overstepped. You can’t have control over your kids when they are not around you. He needs to be given the space to learn how to communicate with the girls himself. He can’t do that if you’re in the way, dictating what he can and can’t do. Get. Out. Of. The. Way. The girls are half his too. They’re not just yours. In his mind, you won’t be happy until he is out of the picture. So that’s what he did. He won’t acknowledge them, because that hurts too much to give them false hope. He’s falling on the sword you refuse to let go of.
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Let him see the girls.
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Sometimes you have to let your kids figure it out by themselves. When they are older and can say they don’t want to go because he did this and that. But for now you have to let them go. Otherwise he can go to court and get 50/50 custody and you won’t have a day at all.
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I would let them go, but ask him to keep the conflict to a minimum because it upsets the girls. They don’t need that.
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Take it from my experience. You can in no way beg, plead or force anyone, even the other parent to be in the kids life. They either want to or they don’t. As their mom it is not your job or responsibility to chase their “dad”/donor to be in their life part or full time. Please do not plea, fight, argue etc with him to call or visit. This gives them a sense of control and sadly they enjoy it. You’re kids (like mine) will eventually realize that they are better off without someone who they had to beg for time and attention from.
As for finally asking to see them, have him meet you and the kids at a park. He can spend a few hours with them and the girls have the safety net of you being close by.
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Mine haven’t seen their bio dad in years. No calls, no holidays or birthday calls or anything.
They don’t really remember him rn, so I figure that he’s the one that’ll regret it when they’re grown. He’s the one missing out on amazing kids, not me.
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I had an ex that got his mistress pregnant. Kicked him to the curb. I had to send my daughter out the door with him every other weekend. They talked bad about me to my daughter like I was the one who had the affair. Only because when they had her I wasn’t tied down to another baby like they were. I was out having fun with my friends the weekend my daughter was with her dad. Automatically I was now a slut in his eyes when I wasn’t even dating. I never spoke bad about either one of them to my daughter. She was afraid to go over to his house and have fun because she thought it to be a betrayal to me. I told her that it is ok for her to like the mistress but I helped her understand why I didn’t care for her. I saw relief come over her face when I let her know that. Through out the yrs going to their house she came to her own conclusions about the two of them. She’d come home crying saying they talk so mean about me. When I’d try to talk to him like an adult and co parent about how they’re making her feel he’d cuss me out and then when he got a hold of our daughter he’d badger her about her coming home and telling me what they say. I found out that coparenting didn’t work with him. So when she’s come to me crying We’d talk about it I’d tell her it has nothing to do with her and she did nothing wrong. As she got older. And stopped wanting to go. I had a rule if she didn’t want to go she had to tell him and give him 24 hour notice. That’s when she was a teenager. Later in life my daughter chose not to see her dad because he was toxic. She figured it out on her own.
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Just let him see them but tell him he needs to see regularly so the kids don’t get hurt
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You won’t be mean to him after he’s broken your kids hearts but he’s allowed to treat them however??? Better catch that before you teach them girls that as long as someone is making effort every now n then you suck up the very wrong behaviors. Trust me make changes now and stand your ground you don’t owe him shit!!!
Meet him somewhere in public and stay for the visit. Or meet at a facility for official supervised visits.
As the kidddos grow up, they will see who is always there for them and who loves them.
Don’t force anything on him.
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Let him see them for the girls sake. Do it for the girls not him. Also I think you should file for custody and child support. Explain to the court your concerns and they can make visits supervised.
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Let him see the girls.
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…“when can i see the girls”?..come over to see Them . im free at (x ) time …
Wow! Any father that chooses a girlfriend, especially trashy one, Over his own children is a low life POS!!! Especially since his children were in his life before she was. I wouldn’t bother with it anymore. I’d say I’d the girls want to ever call and talk to him then let them. Other then that, I would keep them away from that toxic environment.
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Your concern has to be for the well being of your children. His concern should also be for their well being, and he shouldn’t put them in situations of dangerous driving or fighting with his gf, in their presence.
You will both be their parents for the rest of their lives … you need to come together on a solution that allows the children to have both parents in their lives, in a positive environment for them. Six months may not seem like a long time to an adult, but it can seem like an eternity to children. Get real with their dad, and ask him to step up his game as a father for his kids. Explain to him that his relationship with his kids takes priority over his relationship with his gf. If the gf can’t behave appropriately around the kids, then she doesn’t need to be around the kids. I don’t know why he would want to be with a gf that disrespects his kids. In doing so, she’s disrespecting him. When he doesn’t stand up for his kids & protect them from situations like this, he’s also disrespecting them.
Maybe this is something you need to explain to him … maybe he hasn’t thought about it in this way before.
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Wait, you told him he can only see his children, while supervised, but you’re mad he isn’t seeing them 
you can’t control his life, is he able to control yours? Does he say who you can take the kids around? I love how mother’s use kids to dictate the father’s life, but he’s the bad guy…
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You can’t force him to be in their lives, that’s his decision. You might just have to give him space and deal with the fact that he doesn’t want to be around them. It sucks but there’s really not a lot you can do. And you really can’t tell him what he can and can’t do when he’s with his kids, they’re his kids too, rather you like it or not but his time with the kids is his time. I wouldn’t want to come around either if I was being dictated.
Maybe ask the girls if they wanna see him if they do ask them how THEY wanna see him not how he wants to it’s about those babies not him and his gf. They are old enough to understand what’s going on and they are hurting so give them the option
You need to realize that girls will always be jealous of any other female that dad has. Your concern is not to “upset” your girls, can he not see the girls even for a few hours by himself without the girl friend? Remember it’s the “quality” of time spent together, not the amount of (time)! Good luck to your little girls.
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You tried, it’s now up to him. The girls will decide what is next with their relationship with their daddy.
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I will let him see them , not for his but for the girls . And because you do not know if his gf will be with him, I will ask to meet him somewhere if he is not comfortable with seeing them at your house, I will ask to meet in a park , a restaurant or a ice cream shop for example .
And stop forcing him to be a dad
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You can’t do anything but try and fill the gap. Prayers mama♥️
Stop making it your effort to have him be in their lives. Even if he drops out of the picture it will be so much better for them in the long term to have the consistency of him not being there vs him only being there when he feels like it or being there and having negative influences surrounding it. As much as it is amazing when fathers choose to step up and be part of their kids lives sometimes it really is better when they choose not to be. Build a good support system for yourself and stop wasting your time on what he should be doing and just be there for your kids. Believe me, at the end of the day they really only need the support of one amazing parent… Vs one amazing parent and one that doesn’t care.
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Wow… He won’t acknowledge them in public?? That’s messed TF up!!!
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Ur girls don’t need a part time dad and so wrong not to knowledge them in public
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Firdt Ask your girls if they want to see him because its been 5 months and eventually they wont want to be around him if there is constant yelling and screaming going on…
Stop asking him to see your girls you cant make him be a good father…stop texting and calling him
He isn’t a good person if he cant acknowledge them in public so he is the one who will regret it in the end and believe me those girls will never forget what he did
Just ask him how long he wants them for and go from there
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You need to love your girls more than you dislike your ex. If you protect your girls from the gf and fighting, etc then you need to act better than them by not being immature and petty.
Help your children spend time with their Dad because it’s important to them, make it comfortable for them and safe.
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Ask the girls and listen to them THEN. DECIDE
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Take him to court if you have a court order in place about visitation. I’d stipulate that he needs supervised visits because of his girlfriend.
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Let him see his kids, he stopped seeing his kids because you told him he can only see them supervised and that would mean being around you and he doesn’t want to be around you. You actually can’t even do that without a court order. You also can’t tell him who he has around his kids on his time without a court order. He’s not doing what is best for them and is making them feel scared when with him, so get a court order.
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Make sure he is going by the talk you had with him, not having the girlfriend around them unless she be respectful to them and their relatives in front of your girls and they stop arguing or fighting in front of the girls
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Take him to court asap and go from there
I’m assuming you’re not under a court order. If you are he’s probably violated it already. I’d let the kids decide. If they don’t feel safe don’t make them go. Chances are there’s a reason he wants them now. To show off to a new gf or something.
My sons dad hasn’t seen him in almost 3 years since I stopped initiating him seeing our son. Now he goes around telling people I have his number blocked, so he can’t reach me…which is a complete lie…he’s blocked on everything EXCEPT my phone.
At least their dad is asking to see them. I say if he’s wanting to see them and try, let him. He’s still their dad.
The mother has an issue with the girlfriend who may one day be a stepmother and that’s the problem. You can’t force a parent to be a parent, let it go. The girls will grow up just fine with or without a father or a mother for that matter if the missing parent isn’t interested in a relationship. You cannot force a parent to participate in a child’s life on an emotional/in-person way. You can however force the absent parent to PAY CHILD SUPPORT.
Look the guys being led by the brainless head. Hopefully eventually he’ll recognize she’s a jealous bitch and change.
Stop forcing the dad to see the kids. He is obviously more interested in the GF If the GF cussed at the girls they shouldn’t be around her at all. You said you wanted supervised visits and now your complaining that he doesn’t see them ? Be glad he’s not around to hurt the girls feelings
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I had the same problem with my 2 son’s father! Eventually my boys didn’t with to have a relationship with him when he wanted one! He lived a miserable life with that woman and eventually died alone !
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I’d let your girls decide. But I would make it very clear to him they are not objects that he can pick up & use when he wants. Be a consistent father or stay away. I did that back and forth crap for 8 years & it only caused my kids more grief. I wish I would of put my foot down sooner. They get their hopes up & seeing them let down over & over is too much.
He sounds like a horrible human. They don’t need someone like that in their life. And to not acknowledge his own daughters in public…that’s way beyond messed up. I would keep a record of EVERYTHING!!
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You can’t tell him he has to do supervised visits if it’s court ordered he gets overnights.that will be a big nono in the judges eyes. You also don’t have the right to tell him who can and can’t be around the kids on his time unless your court order says so.
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protect the kids him n gf are not fit to be around them WHY would want them to be in this environment? just say no unless court ordered then supervised
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This man has already shown abusive behavior along with inconsistencies that can harm your child if he truly wants to see his children take it to court get supervised visitation because his behavior is an issue obviously in front of these little girls and if he really really wants to see them he will abide by the courts ruling and do what it takes to be a father maybe then he can grow up a little bit and take it a step further but right now your job is a mother is to protect your children even from their father even from you if it comes to that but protect them above All things I say this because as a mother who is going through the court system with a father who was not consistent and had many other issues I should have done better and if I can say anything to someone to not make the same mistakes I did then my lesson learned was meant for something protect your babies be the best mom you can be and just love them through it I’ll keep you guys in my prayers
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You need legal advice. Do what what is best for your children
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Focus on your bottom line. Restrain your tongue. Allow him to see the girls. Allow them to make the decision on when and if they no longer desire to engage.
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Do the best for the girls.
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Ask your girls what they want to do. They are both old enough to state their opinions and make their own needs known on their own terms. At the very least, I would say all 4 of you should sit down as the family unit you are to have a conversation. Sans the gf would probably be better. They can tell him how they feel and I think he should hear them out and he should apologize for ghosting them and his totally unacceptable behavior. It’s up to him to repair the damage he has done to their relationship. If he doesn’t he won’t ever have one with them.
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You can’t make a man be a good father however let him see the kids. They will grow up to see the truth but after this stop wasting your time on getting him to see them. Sounds like they would be better off.
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I’m not sure what your custody agreement is or if you even have one but it is really not your choice if he has to have supervised visits or if he can’t take them around his gf. It’s not fair to the children to give them the choice whether to see him or not, that is an adult decision and shouldn’t be placed on them. He sounds a little bit immature if he doesn’t even acknowledge them when he sees them. If I were you I would not continue to try to get him to call or visit them if he is choosing not to. If you are concerned about things like the fighting, screaming and driving like a maniac then definately talk to a lawyer about your options.
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Don’t, let him see his girls, they need both of you
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Sad to say but they might be better off without him in their lives
Let the father see them. 
And see were that goes. And go from their. He helped make them it’s his duty to take them. Don’t let him slip away, like men do. Their his daughter’s he has every right to take them.
Just check in with the girls if the fighting screaming and nonsense is still going on…
I’d keep them away from him untill he learns to respect his children and not scare them. As for the GF, being a total C… Talk to her if she don’t listen. Don’t take the girls their. If she wants to step up and take the girls in as her own. I’d be more then happy to comply…
If she doesn’t wanna play happy families. Keep the girls home. SHE KNEW HE HAD DAUGHTER’S WHEN SHE GOT WITH HIM… they will always be his girls and if the jealousy and nasty comments do not stop. DONT LET THEM GO WITH HIM. they don’t deserve the abuse! At all their young children.
Get a mediator or family counselor to discuss the adults’ dos and don’ts with the kids, like please no arguing and losing your cool while driving as it could cause an accident. No badmouthing family in front of the kids. Say what you want behind closed doors out of earshot, or better yet, when the kids aren’t around. There are no thought police, but be considerate. That includes the way dad & GF talk about you & the aunt and the way you talk about dad & the girlfriend. Then once you come to a compromise on behavior everyone should have around the kids and how often each parent should see them, have a lawyer write it up, you both sign it & file it with the court. Then you both follow what you agreed to do.
Maybe you could suggest ways dad could participate in their lives, like through outings & activities, vs. just having them to his place. Perhaps he (& GF off she chooses) could take the girls to their soccer practices and games where they stay to watch & cheer, or other activities. Or he & GF could take them to a water park, the ballet, a zoo, a performance geared to kids their age, host a board game night, or whatever they might all enjoy. Being in public often shames people into behaving better., plus if everyone is having fun and distracted, there are fewer arguments.
Maybe practice being calm & zen and invite the GF in order to get to know her if she will be participating in your childrens’ lives. Do more listening than speaking, but ask her what she likes to do and her ideas on raising children. Do NOT contradict or criticize her, but you can ask questions, like “Have you had success doing that with a child?” Or, “What if…”. Don’t get snarky or snide. If she makes you want to explode, wrap things up, set up another coffee date & leave to go for a run, hit he gym, punch a pillow, do yoga or meditation or breathing or relaxation exercises—anything to help you calm down & exhaust/defuse your anger and frustration. Talk about your emotions and reactions with a therapist, practice not reacting to bad news/behavior.
Ultimately though, if he chooses his girlfriend over his kids, you can’t mandate his behavior. Just know it’s his loss that he will regret, and get the kids in counseling or play therapy:
Don’t. U ex keep u from seeing u kids if u have a tiff between u don’t put the kids in middle the kids are the ones that suffer
No frrking Way… He can’t even acknOwledge them in public? Let him be That Stranger*
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Step back forget him
The girls done need him
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I always find having a trusted friend you can vent too helps with your emotions and also one that isn’t going to judge but, isn’t going to let you do/say ‘crazy’ things.
Why would u even want your kids around the fighting are disrespect she don’t like your kids so why have em there is the ? I think u need to move on with u and your kids the kids are crying over it why even do them like that
You can’t make someone want to be a parent but whenever they do show up, try and accommodate them for the sake of the kids.
Your story is very confusing. You want him to see the girls, or you don’t? Why would you want them to be with him if it’s as bad as you say? You can’t force him to be a decent father.
Be thankful he is not staying in touch