My grandparents treat my daughter differently than her cousin: Thoughts?

My grandparents live maybe a mile away from me, and they don’t visit my daughter (who is 2 1/2 Yrs old) they don’t test to see how she is or even attempt to make any plans to see her but get mad at me when I don’t come to visit them. Then there’s another grandchild involved (not my child and she’s about 1 yrs old), and they’re constantly with her. They spend all week with her and every Sunday with her. Mind you, my grandfather remarried, so the other grandchild is only through marriage (which of course doesn’t mean she deserves less love then my baby) I’m just saying that they seem to favor her a lot. So for my daughter’s birthday, they bought her like three things from dollar tree that ended up broken within two days, but when it came to the other grandchild’s birthday, they bought her $400 worth of toys and clothes. I mean, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but in my opinion, that’s ignorant. When my daughter gets older, she’s gonna realize that her cousin gets more attention, love, and gifts then she does, and it worried she’s gonna think something is wrong with her or she did something wrong for them to treat her like that. I don’t know should I cut off all contact with them until they fix their outlook or continue to let them do this to my kid because who knows how much longer they’ll be around. I just can’t help but be upset over this, but I also don’t want to seem like I’m a jealous wench. hat it wasn’t a bunch of drama and he told me that it was not planned and he was never in a relationship with his babymoma, he said he went to a party one night and he was drunk and the condom broke and 3 months later she called saying that he was going to be a father and I believed that because I had no reason not too it sounded legit so we got serious in our relationship talking about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together, and 7 months later I became pregnant and we are so excited, but shortly after I became pregnant things were okay but our relationship wasn’t doing so well anymore and he always had to much communication with his babymoma that wasn’t neccercey nothing sexual but just constant back and fourth about money and visits and she tried to be involved about my baby with him but she never spoke to me directly and was very disrespectful before I ever even met her so I went through his phone and found a message she sent him about an update on their divorce and it this point I was 6 month pregnant and just found out that the man I love and am having a baby girl with has lied to me for almost a year about somthing so important and I talked to him about it and I almost left but I wanted to try and fix things because I truly love him, and we have talked about it and he said he never told me because he didn’t want me to leave him so I’m trying to move on I have forgiven him but it’s still a sore spot and he gets a month off work for when I have our baby and I told him I wanted that time for just him and I to kind of be alone with or baby and try to heal and repair the trust he’s lost and he tells me that I’m being selfish and that after 1 week of having our baby he’s going to get his son for the rest of the 3 weeks he’s off and keep in mind his son is still young and needs alot of care and attention too and I just don’t feel like we are going to have that time that I not only want but need in order to heal and trust him again, I feel like it’s selfish of me but at the same time I want don’t think it’s that big of deal he can get his son after I’ve had time to heal after having my first baby and had time to adjust to being a first time mom. Please let me know if I’m selfish or if I have a right to want that time.

5 Likes

To all those people who say get over it no that’s toxic as hell and it does cause problems to see people choose “favorites” I say cut ties and let them know why then maybe they will want to spend time with an innocent baby who did no wrong.

My step grandmother did that to me and I never really cared for her but thankfully I had people In my life bray I knew loved me. She actually took a car we were using to give to her granddaughter and she didn’t even want the car.

ppl are allowed to have favorites. Try to get over it, time will fly and everyone will be grown and she will be gone. The end.

I went through the same things with my kids. Just try to ignore it and go on. Mine are ,38 and 30 now be and they survived it. Just give them all the love u can

Maybe it has something to do with who the fathers are.

So I’m not sure I’m getting this… it’s your Grandpa right and he married a new woman?.. is the other baby her grand child by blood?. in any case you need to sit down and talk to them Face to Face about your concerns and let them know that you don’t want your child to feel left out or unloved… find out just why they don’t spend more time with her… there could be various reasons for this… 1. They could be worn out after having the other one all week. 2. The New Grand mother may feel she doesn’t have the same rights with your child as she has with the other one and doesn’t want to step on toes… Communication is the key, but truly express your feelings and concerns with them. 3. Maybe Grandpa does interact with either of the children, so its left up to the grandma… I don’t know but definitely talk to them before you cancel them out all together… As for the second half of your problem, if the guy you are talking about is related to one of the grandparents, that could explain a lot … They probably knew what he was up to and didn’t want to get involved with you because of it. if he was married your entire relationship and you only found out after getting pregnant that he was still going through a divorce… that could have created the distance they have with you and your child… if you insist on staying with him try to come to a compromise of 2 weeks for you and your baby that you have together and the other 2 weeks for all of you as a family… again if you are staying with this man, you have to treat the other child with the same Love you will have with your own… no different than you expect with Grandma and Grandpa. These are children who have no say in who will love and take care them. Be the best Mother you can be to both of the children.