Read this a mom posted.
She is not perfect but she US WELL LOVED.
YOU CAN BE TOO.
Part one
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Part two.
You deserve this and more.
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Damn, so sorry your going through feeling. I’m sure it’s A bad feeling
Go to marriage counseling without him, but sounds like he has moved on without you and refuses to engage. I’m sorry. It sucks big time.
You may be devastated, but you will get through and past this. Make sure your kids know YOU will always be there for them & get them in counseling since they are losing their dad figure. I’m guessing he won’t spend time with the kids after he leaves. At least console yourself with the fact that you found out what a POS he is this early on.
How long did you know him before you got married? Three years is usually enough time for all the bad stuff to show up so you can make an informed decision and get married or not with your eyes open. Do not introduce your kids to any man as a romantic partner until at least 6 months after it looks promising. Otherwise when it doesn’t work out you’re not pulling the rug out from under the children.
Contact a women’s center & start making plans to support yourself and move on safely and wisely. Set goals towards increasing financial independence so you never have to depend on a man for anything. A support group could be helpful for you & be a source of friends.
Also, you can’t make your significant other everything in your life. Find hobbies, make friends, even if it’s online/FaceTime on the phone. Does he feel you are clingy? Build a “village” to support you and your kids, and do the same for them.
Good luck. Set small goals to get through the hard times and give yourself credit for making it through an hour, a night, one class, one bedtime ritual. Look back in a week and see
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There is not a whole lot you can do at this point. You’ve tried.
Being a stay at home mom i also understand not having the ability to just up and leave, but, personally i would just start living my own life. Find a job. Start saving money back. Make some friends. Have a night out. Do things for YOU. As long as your kids are taken care of its perfectly ok.
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All women on the planet might hate me for saying, but I say it because I’ve read it, believe it and live it. I live it because do believe to the core men are simple creatures but we women are so over barring with emotion and hormones, we forget to see how less difficult life and Marriage can be minus drama. Read “The proper care and feeding of husbands” such a unique way of looking at men/husbands.
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Leave its sounds like hes cheating on you
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How can you fight so hard for someone to love you back when it’s obvious he doesn’t. At least you are finding out now instead of 20 years down the track. You have time to make a new life for yourself and your kids. Start making plans to leave. Put some money aside each week. Or, stay where you are, don’t expect anything from him, and live your lives separately under the one roof.
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Pray. Ask the Lord to restore your marriage. Keep praying
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Just about every marriage has hard times and often comes back from it. When my husband and I were on the verge of divorce we started a notebook where we wrote each other notes. At first he wrote stupid crap like “long day at work but here, I wrote something” eventually he wrote more and more and finally opened up. It’s easy to say leave him, but sometimes it’s worth trying something different.
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If he didn’t defend you to his family on Thanksgiving, he has zero respect for you. Time to move on.
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U could have been describing my marriage n my ex hubby. He lied he cheated he was an alcoholic(high functioning) but I kept it all 2gether 4 him. I also worked 2 jobs but got no credit for that cuz he worked 10 hour days. Even tho my 4 hour job paid me exactly what he made for a 10 hour day. Did I mention he was also a porn addict? When I saw a porn sight that he had viewed 38 tines in 3 days with what appeared 2 b 12 year old girls I finally had enuf. Oh and the affair he had with a co-worker didn’t help much either. All the while he totally ignored me. It was like I didn’t exist except 2 make sure his life was cozy. I left n now he’s fighting r divorce!!!
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Get a job and prepare for a divorce. Go to counseling but sounds like he is done.
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Work on you first. Get a counselor. Make friends. Develop a life outside of “so and so- stay at home mom”… get into some hobbies… if you do that it may help change some things and open the door to fixing the relationship. If it doesn’t- you will be in a better position, mentally, to make major choices.
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Get out now l am going through the same thing it has been 4 years like this and l am finally realizing l deserve to be treated much better if l said anything l use to get is all we do is argue so now that l am moving on and becoming free now he wants to talk and make things right but for me it has gone on for way to long so girl do yourself a favor and just walk with your babies material things mean nothing your life means everything
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Suck it up or get a job and ditch the dork.
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Sounds like my ex husband. I tried for a year to work on things. He waited until i was in another relationship to work on things. Nooe. Im happy and just had my daughter 4 days ago from my new relationship. My ex is bitter because he waited too long. Oh well. I tried. You didnt. I moved on to happy bigger better life. 
do what you feel in ur heart. Good luck.
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Get a job, put him out, till then quit taking care of him. If he does not talk to you, don’t talk to him. Give him a taste of his own medicine. It’s gonna be hard with the holidays, but he is already gone. The fact that he could only make it a year into the marriage says a lot about him.
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Sorry but that’s not a marriage.
You could have a much happier life with someone else. It sounds like he’s done with the marriage and doesn’t care to make things better. He’s probably just waiting for you to get tired of it and leave, but he doesn’t have the backbone to be upfront about being done. Divorce and focus on your kids and building a better life for yourself in which you can be happy. This sounds miserable.
Please please please don’t waste your life unhappy. It’s gonna be hard don’t get me wrong but move on! Life is so short and there’s so much better out there.
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Why would you want to be with that slime…
YouTube Adrienne Everheart. You won’t regret it
Mom. You have to leave.
He’s cheating and no longer in it with you. He proved he didn’t care
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My heart goes out to you sister, Ive been dealing with a lot of similar things for the last 2 years. From day 1 not affectionate, no passion, nothing. He was never in the mood, in June I found his membership to an online sex hook up site. Had porn addiction also the whole time. And right out the gate cheated. Yep I’m still here cuz we have a 17mo daughter together but my heart and trust died a while ago. I’m trying to figure out my next move because this life is not worth it.
It’s dead when both ppl are not trying. I’m sorry hun
Find out what he is doing when you aren’t around. Sounds highly suspicious to me. Also, do the 180:
Unfortunately if he’s not willing to work on it then there is nothing you can do. Hang it up and move on. You deserve someone who wants to be with you and wants to be your partner.
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You can lead horses to water but you can’t make them drink it… if he’s not willing to “work” on the relationship it’s done. Cut your losses and find happiness.
Its done… what more you need to know? He doesnt touch you,he doesnt love you and he doesnt care about anyone but himself. Get up,get out and find a job and independence. Ain’t no man want the responsibility of 3 kids that’s not his!!!
There not even his kids he don’t want you or them get rid of him
Omg you poor thing! That is not a marriage at all. Do not waste another minute with him! Get a divorce from him and move on with someone else.
You just have to leave. Do things on your own. You don’t need a man. No women ever needs a man. So obviously you’ve stated that you do everything In the house already. So leave. There is ALWAYS someone who will treat you how you need to be treated. You could find someone tomorrow that will treat you better than your husband ever did in four years. Don’t stay in a bad situation just because you have history. Healthy>history!
Try a weekend away with him. My husband and I hit a rough patch similar to you described (minus the lady bits). We went away for a few days and things got better. We didn’t discuss our issues, we just relaxed and had fun together.
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This is, what? Your 3rd failed relationship with a baby daddy? Time to ask yourself some tough questions, because as easy as it is to blame them, you keep picking these guys and having kids with them. Why? Why do you do that? Why do you not expect more from these people or from yourself? Perhaps you need to fall in love with yourself first. And worry about men when your children are grown. Therapy is calling. Pick up that phone, girl. You’re overdue.