I would never want my front door to be a never ending rotation of people. And I’m sure you didn’t buy a place for other people to live in - you’ve already stated that having people over for a couple of days at a time isn’t a huge deal, but extended stay guests right after another is and I have to say I have to agree. I don’t see how your husband can look at you being uncomfortable constantly having people over and call you selfish
Is this extra room for a stranger in need or a family member or friend? Either way I wouldn’t want someone living temporarily in my home unless I knew them very well and they could tell me the day they were leaving, no freeloaders.
I understand everyone is different, i always like it when my family, friends are around…
In some states, giving people permission to move in and stay weeks on end, could possibly entitle them to squatters rights,(not sure of the legalities involved) but if they received mail (is how I understood it) at your address your home becomes their residence and you will have to get a lawyer and go through the courts to make them leave! Even if you can prove they do not help with rent or bills… this happened to a family member, her son received-mail at her house and after her husband passed away her son came in took and sold any and everything of any value leaving her with a shell of a home and debt…local law said their hands were tied to stop him ( he did not even live in her home just received mail there!)… Know the laws in your state, please!
I agree wirh you! Put your foot down.
I agree with you. I don’t mind if people visit but not extended…I am a very private person and I like to roam around in PJs. It would give me anxiety.
I agree with you dont let him build or you will not only have visitors you will end up with permanent lodgers it will become a lodging house and lodgers dont look after other peoples property good luck xx
Your being selfish in petty because if there his friends they should be part of the family up town princess lol
I would have never married someone so self unless he was gay or using needles / using lol
I don’t let that go on in my house unless people are just drinking or smoking lol
In I only let people smoke because I support farmers lol
Y’all shouldn’t be to stingy to make some freaking mac in cheese in fish or a soup an samwitch meal lol
For a couple days yes but weeks at a time? And who is making meals and cleaning up after them. It also messes up your normal routine. If a family member was in having hard time getting on their feet for a couple weeks would be ok but I would expect them to be out looking for a job 8hours a day. They would also have to take care of their own needs. If I would make a meal they are welcome to join us but if we go out or just not cook they would need to take care of their own meal and always help get meal ready and help with clean up. I would not want to entertain them either.
Dont give in to him its a VERY BAD idea. Your not being selfish . it can cause all kinds of problems. And you will never have just family time
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Absolutely not, I wouldn’t let no one live with me either. I have my oldest son living with me and it’s hard sometimes. I like our privacy also, I just get tired of someone being here every day.
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You are not selfish. He needs to not be a jerk and he needs to listen to you. People will take advantage of a nice guy it’s best to put your foot down now before it’s too late
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Sense he is so wanting family and whoever to stay instead of building a room for guest turn a shed into a small apartment. That way they won’t even be in your house
Let him build the other room and YOU charge rent - I betcha they aren’t gonna wanna stay long 
Keep your privacy they want space they can have there own space at there place visit and then see ya you let ppl stay they get comfortable and don’t leave Freddy freeloaders
Friends. Family can and will overstay their welcome. Especially when you make it cozy for them. Speaking from personal experience. Good luck!
We made that mistake. A month turned into a yr n a half. It ruined our 14 yr marriage.
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Maybe something that should have been talked about pre-marriage?
Obviously, too late for that now.
I think y’all should really sit down and discuss it.
I have 6 kids. There are enough people in my home. I don’t mind people coming to visit. Staying a couple days, ok ill make due. But longer than that is a no for me 🙅. I like having family time. I don’t want to feel like my routine may change for a guest. My husband understands that, luckily. So no there is nothing wrong with you wanting to set limits. Privacy is an important thing.
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Doesn’t sound like he wants guest sounds like he wants roommates. I could never. Cause if their just guest, I can only imagine the mess that comes with it. That’s why guest only stay for a couple of days…
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well unless you want somebody to move in but if if he is suggesting a roommate of female I’ve been wondering about that and if he had another man just moving in I’m going to be another couple you never know but there’s something weird about that and I’d be starting to wonder and be curious about that but if a family member needs a place to stay for a while you’re home should always be open to them.
I say you’re right. I would never spend more than 2 days. to me it’s impolite
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I feel the same way I would just tell him if you want me to tell them I will but that is the way I am im nice to a point
How about turning the garage or part of it into a spare room. That way you both win
It’s quite understandable the way you feel we all like some privacy in our own home and lives
Iam a very private person myself I will not have anyone staying over night my mother in-law has stayed my best girlfriend but a nite or 2 no more than that! I would tell him he needs to respect your feelings on the private life
I can see his point too… It’s possible that he had no place to go before and had to stay with someone awhile to get on his feet. He may feel like he has to return the favor. I’ve been there. I completely understand. But I also like my space. Find a way to compromise.
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Privacy is important…when I get family from Europe it’s a different thing…they stay for a while. But otherwise a few days is okay…its exhausting anyway…love visitors…but when I visit I would rather be in a hotel…
Your energetic boundaries are not matched. His are wider; yours are not. I would agree on a 3 day max. He subconsciously may be trying to recreate a childhood drama. You, on the otherhand, are more protective of the core relationship.
No you are not selfish. Not in my opinion anyways. There are people that may need some help at some point. But there are also people who will take advantage of your kindness.
I just got out of a situation where I allowed my sister and her NINE kids to move on with my family and I. Also… one of those kids had a gf. So… 11 people total.
I have always seen my sister as an independent person. A great mother. Someone who gets stuff done.
Oh man… was I surprised by what happened. She moved to my house in Texas from hers in California.
From about day 3… she was trying to cause problems between my husband and I. I’ve never fought more with my husband than when she was here. She wanted me to take her side on everything. Tried to demonize my husband saying he didn’t like her kids or her because he would ask them to not leave trash all over the floor and to not run in and out of the house all day.
She got mad if he bought me anything like a drink or anything… saying he was trying to buy my affection.
Top it off with her kids torturing mine. They literally ripped a huge chunk of hair out of my 5 year olds head. Called my 4 year old son weird and a cry baby… a snitch… said my 1 year old is the devil and that she looks like she is deformed.
They put holes in our walls. Broke the swing set we got our kids. Would climb on my kitchen counters. Scream at the top of the lungs for no reason. Beat the crap out of each other. The 8 year old girl she has would be on her phone making twerk videos for old guys. The kid who brought his gf was constantly screwing in my bathroom which is right next to my kids room every night. Loud. And my 5 year old would wake up and tell me she couldn’t sleep because of them singing and dancing in the bathroom.
Her kids ATE my kids toys. They completely destroyed our furniture. They would leave molding milk cups all over the house. The 3 year old was caught watching videos on her phone (all her kids had phones) where they’re talking about licking pu**y like ice cream or beating people up.
And if I said anything I was being a bitch. I was doing all the cooking. Just for them to complain about everything. One night I heated up left overs and one of the kids said… we have to eat food we already had like she had never seems left over in her life.
She lied about my husband. Recorded me in my own home and my kids and put it on social media talking shit.
While they were here I witnessed my sister treating her boys like total crap. Beating them with shoes and hangers. She broke her toe kicking one of them while he was on the floor.
She got 2 child support checks, 2 states of welfare and food stamps, money she borrowed from people, set up 2 go fund me accounts… and didn’t even bother to help us with any bills.
They all showered twice a day. My shower was never off. I got kicked out of my own washer and dryer and those were constantly running. There’s now mold in my bathroom and paint ripped off the walls…
They left us with a $600 electric bill and a $300 water bill for the first month and the best bills were $560 and $275. She didn’t help at all.
Then to top it off after she left… She posted on Facebook that I locked her special needs child in a room all day. 1. her child isn’t even special needs. She just claimed her as such to get social security for her. She said my husband is a drug addict who doesn’t take care of his family. She literally moved in with me… her little sister… because her husband cheated on her and got another girl pregnant… and then totaled 2 vehicles from driving drunk after hitting on his boss and losing his job and running through all their money buying alcohol… She had no money for bills. My husband supported her and all of her kids… plus our own family… But he doesn’t take care of his family… also he doesn’t do drugs…
We had to buy new furniture. It was a whole mess. My husband and I have agreed we will not let anyone else move in with us after this. I’m not saying that would be your situation every time… But this has scarred my kids. It has put us in such a financial strain. We have alot of repairs to do on our house. Our plumbing is screwed because they constantly put food down our drain…
I have pictures and all kinds of videos from when she was here… and she is still just being horrid all over facebook. We aren’t talking at all. She blocked me. But I still see her posts because we have mutual friends. 