My husband and I have two kids together, and I have a stepdaughter that calls me mama, and I treat her as mine because we have her full time, and she is my little sidekick. My husband and I haven’t been doing very well, and it has been nothing but stressful. I feel as if I am not getting what I need from him. He stays up so late that he falls asleep every night on the couch, and when I wake up with our newborn, I also have to go in the living room and turn off the tv and lights, so I feel like I am taking care of another child. He doesn’t wake up from our newborn, and when he “helps,” he falls asleep feeding her and can’t get her to her bassinet, so I don’t even get any extra sleep when he helps because I have to watch him. He also makes references as if I’m a bad mom. He also never plans anything for us. If it wasn’t for me, we would never go do anything activity-wise with the kids. Another thing is my birthday is next Monday. I have to plan my own birthday for us to even get out of the house with our friends and get a few hours to ourselves, and I feel like I shouldn’t have to do that. I am just frustrated and upset, and he doesn’t understand it. I don’t want to break out family up. We also have a house together, and I absolutely cannot lose my oldest baby since she is not legally mine
May I speak freely?.. I’m going to anyway. Kick him in the 
!! He needs a wake up call
He does need a wake up call, however i think alot of men are like this… when I was with my sons father I had to pay for my.own mothers day dinner…
My husband was like that with our newborn, they act like they are the ones that gave birth and need all the rest in the world. Do you have anyone to come and help while he’s at work? It will pass, you are exhausted and I truly understand when they do nothing.
I am so sorry to read this. Some men just suck the life out of us 
I really have no advice…
I’m sending you angels through prayer to hold you close ~
Best of luck to you 
Ask him for marriage counseling !
Maybe get some couples counseling.
Talk to him.? Tell him how you feel. Tell him shit needs to change and it needs to change now
Could he possibly be exhausted from working all day and then coming home and somewhat helping with a baby?
Tell him to get it together or you’re leaving with the baby.
Oversleeping and “laziness” along with the unwillingness to plan ahead/go out sounds like symptoms of pretty bad depression. Maybe talk to him a bit more about how he’s feeling and try a therapist or a doctor if that’s what you think it might be
Ask him if he’s stressed out… put all your issues in life to the side and listen to what he has to say… maybe you guys just need to regroup as friends for a minute 
Nobody wants a man child sorry but 
if he doesn’t wanna help out and expects you to do everything like whys he always sleepin why isn’t he takin care of his family, you are by urself, you don’t need em 
Love dare book challenge
Fireproof Movie
Do this together 
You have to do your p an birthday diddums he sounds exhausted
Why not adopt the oldest?
You’re going thru a bad patch it’s possible you both have post partum depression visit the dr together and go from there. No need to just up and leave. Try to have a heart to heart use i words instead of you words
Sorry, I don’t have any advice except to ask you to go to your Pastor and being this issue to GOD 
I have prayed for you and your family 
Does he work and you don’t. If so he maybe too exhausted to try to do things on his own. Now he doesn’t need to be calling you nothing but baby and sweetie or whatever pet name he has for you but if it bothers you he’s not helping stop doing his stuff tell him until you get more help you ain’t doing his bits like his clothes or dishes
He sounds like he’s exhausted too.
Having 3 kids, with one being a newborn, is exhausting. I’m not even sure why you WANT to go out with friends with a newborn in tow.
I spent my birthday sick and pregnant on the couch. My husband cooked Christmas dinner because I couldn’t (my birthday is Christmas).
Love isn’t shown by “grand gestures”, it’s the everyday stuff, like going to work to support the family, trying to wake up with a newborn even though you’re exhausted, staying with your wife even though you can’t do anything right…
Marriage counseling? Mayb he lost sight of things sometimes they just need a reminder of the love that was there in the beginning.
Sounds like you are in the same predictament as I was in with my family just keep doing what you are doing for your family. Cherish the moments you have with your husband. It is just overwhelming for you and your husband with a newborn and it will get better. HUGS!!!
I would just take a deep breath. You’re processing things differently than normal because of the postpartum hormones. So just slow down and find out what’s most important and start from there. Maybe even try therapy.
Marriage with a newborn is incredibly difficult. It’s very common to go through a rough patch at this time. Don’t make decisions yet, but do consider counseling. It can really help. Best wishes!!
Not standing up for him. But maybe he is depressed. Maybe he is calling you a bad mom because you are calling him out as being a bad dad. It sucks to have to take care of an adult on top of the kids. But we all need extra help sometimes.
Counceling if hed willing to go too. I’ve been with my husband 10 yrs. We almost separated once, it got better but then got worse, we are in counceling and its helped us I’ll admit. Even if u start by going yourself, then go together? That’s what I did at first to get my anger/stress out, now we go together.
He might be depressed and i suggest therapy ! Sometimes it really works!
It’d really hard to say anything with the limited amount of info. Was he a good husband before the baby ? Does he work long hours ? Make a list of pros and cons. Be honest. What will you lose if you go , what you will lose if you stay.Try for one month to find one good thing he does for you and thank him for it every day. He may begin to live up to this improved image of himself. I hope this helps. a lot of times, people live up or down to our expectations.
I would look at the past as an indicator then. Have you always had to plan your own birthday? Has he always been distant? Having a newborn is really tough on every relationship, I would even venture to say it’s harder on the mother than it is the father because they are the main comforter for the baby. It might just be a rough patch, like you said, and nothing but. My hearts with you, momma❤ I know it’s not easy
Try therapy. It may help you to communicate better.
Im kinda in the same boat we already dont live together we have an 8 year old together and he has a 12 year old that calls me mom i have been in her life since she was 2 hes no longer trying hes talking about moving but mentioned nothing to me until he got mad he doesn’t want to help the only thing he does is take me back and forth to work and our daughter to and from school but i gotta pay for the gas for that right now hes barley speaking to me and went out of town with room mate instead of working me me to figure things out we have been together 10years not married but he no longer wants to try its Been me trying but he blames me im there too girl it sucks
Maybe you should have an honest conversation with him? Don’t place blame or yell just talk. Fathers go through a lot too after a new baby is born, it’s not always just us mamas. He might have some depression going on and it sounds like you might have a little too. I really hope you can work it out because all your babies deserve happy parents.
Maybe he doesnt know how to help you so therefore just doesn’t…?? Most men aren’t like women…they need direction, they don’t have that natural instinct us mothers have. They aren’t mind readers so if you aren’t expressing to him your needs then how is he supposed to know?? You guys have to communicate instead of just going for " I’m thinking about leaving because he/she doesn’t do what I want" option. TALK to HIM… Not FB.
Well, at least the last part of this sounds like you guys just don’t have the same love language. I have always planned all the parties including mine and all the trips. If my wife tried I’d probably have a stroke lol. Not everyone loves the same way… And men are different anyway. You guys just need to talk and remember why you love each other. Raising kids is hard I’m forever exhausted! It doesn’t get better as they get older it just gets different lol 
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but sadly Unless you tell a man what you want him to do aka: making plans for dinners out or vacations or whatever it is that you want UNLESS YOU TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT THEY WILL NEVER LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS PERIOD!!! And if you’re religious I suggest Church as a family and Counseling! DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!!! 
Sounds normal to me. You’re just in a stressful time. Talk to him and let him know what you’re thinking, nothing gets better by not talking or running away. I’ve been married for 8 years and we go through this every once in awhile, mostly when we forget to be a team and a couple. All you need to do is talk to him and get some adult time out and its like a reset button.
If you’re still interested in the marriage please make time and you talk about it in calmly.
He might be struggling with everything too parenting struggles are real for everyone. If in the beginning he was a good husband and father you need to consider finding out why he has changed now! Having a new born is very stressful and it’s double stress when you have other kid’s. Try to get help Asap
All the best
All the things u mentioned dont see to be life changing. Idk I could be wrong. I’d just take a breath and really just not think. Men are men and as much as u want them to be these organized, prepared and thoughtful beings all the time, they aren’t. They show love in lots of di ways but one of them being working to support the fam.
Talk to him. All in all it sounds like he doesnt have a sense of himself and his own space anymore. Like hes stressed to fhr max and doesn’t have the room or capacity to deal with bday party stuff etc.
Why is it a big deal to plan your own birthday party? Another year older and you can plan it the way you want it as to not be disappointed like you already are for so many reasons. 
Can you legally adopt his daughter? Since you have her full time anyway. Then if things go south in the future you may have more rights to her.
Counselling will do then you can voice out what you feel.
Go do your birthday without him! Get out of the house and have a good time. If he isn’t excited to spend your birthday with you, then Don’t include him . Maybe youtr waiting too much for him to come around. Maybe if you stop needing him, he will finally come around. That man should be grateful for what he has
He seems very cool & jealous to me I’d get away and still have a relationship with the step child …
Talk to him. Problems cannot be fixed without clear conversations. Marriage is through good times and bad. Find a way you two can work through this. Fight for your marriage. Don’t give up so easily. All are frustrating issues but none are worth divorcing over. Every couple goes through rough patches.
Talk to him. And really listen…both of you. Be a team instead of being against one another.
These are things that can be worked on and not worth throwing your marriage away for. Men don’t think of things the same way we do and as for the b day stuff, maybe he does have something planned but you make your own plans so it tosses his out. He is the provider and you are the nurturer. I have always been the one to get up with the babies so dad could sleep and even if he did wake up so would I do it didn’t make a difference. Take a deep breath and learn to accept him for who he is (neither of you are perfect) and work through this. Talk without anger and he will listen better. People are to quick to just walk out on what is supposed to last a life time. Marriage takes work and it takes both of you to make it work.
(Numbering to keep thoughts in order NOT to be hateful)
- Men are just as likely to experience a sort of post partum depression/anxiety. Yet 95% more likely to not be diagnosed.
It is entirely possible he’s experiencing this, and just simply is not able to meet your needs because he cannot meet his own. - Relationships are a two way street. You’re not getting what you need from him…but is he getting what he needs from you? This is where communication comes in. This is where instead of yelling, nagging, and bitching…you try to find why he’s doing these things. Maybe his job is wearing him down. Maybe he stays in the living room so he’s not disturbing you. Maybe he feels unloved and unwanted?
- Then express your needs and wants. Again. Don’t nag. Don’t yell. Don’t bitch. Don’t use accusatory statements (you do this you don’t do this) use i feel statements instead “i feel stressed because i could really use an extra set of hands” “i feel overwhelmed and i think a night out would really help” “i feel hurt when you do “x”, “y” would really help me”
Relationships take WORK especially when kids are involved. You are still two separate people; neither of which is a mind reader. So you are going to have different wants. You’re going to have different needs.
You’re going to have to figure out a way to make it work. If you stay home and he works…helping you at night may be too much. That doesn’t mean he can’t help you at all. Weekends. After work. Before work. But you have to ask.
The men are men excuse is lame and old. It is bull that you have to worry about him like a giant child. I agree though, that you should talk to him. The whole thing you have - marriage, family, house, is worth a hail Mary. Let him know you are this close to going and you are growing resentful
And get fabulous and go out on your birthday with your friends. Him and the kids will make it.
A newborn will elevate any little irritation, and I’ve found that I only ever questioned our marriage when there is a newborn in the house. Which leads me to believe that hormones, depression, lack of sleep, and stress have a lot to do with a negative view of my marriage. After my last child I was throwing a serious pitty party for myself and was convinced my husband didn’t love me or our family anymore- which was definitely not the case. He works full-time so I carry most of the load at home. He is a great dad, but a horrible mind reader . I feel you 1000%
He sounds selfish to me .
Some men are incredibly selfish and it sounds like your husband is one of them. Your options are quite simple but the outcome is dependent on his willingness to try. Either you talk with him and work it out, you spend the rest of your life taking care of him or you get a divorce. Good luck!
I think you need to go to counciling I think divorce is so easy at time which I do believe divorce is the best thing for some people I think it’s worth a shot to try counciling first open up about all your concerns don’t hold back either it could help a ton or it won’t help at all but you won’t know unless you try good luck!!
Could be a medical problem he could be having …my husband was falling asleep alot like that well they found out he had type 2 diabeties and sleep apnia how ever you call it …this was 3 yrs ago…i have him get some blood work done see if he ok health wise could be an issue
GET INTO COUNSELING!! PRONTO!!! If i woulda listened n done this myself- i would still be married 
Adopt the child or apply for guardianship that way you will have rights to her if this ends up in divorce.
Sounds like you need a break, find a babysitter go out for a few hours or couple days alone, he may need some time alone too
He sounds like a fuckin drag.