My husband and I are taking a break and I went to stay with my mom. I had to run by the house after work and grab something and he was not supposed to be there…but as i drove by i saw a female leaving his house and ive never seen her before…i get we are on a break but didnt realise we would be seeing other people too…i am hurt and lost and dont know what to do…do i even mention this?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband and I are on a break and I saw a female leaving our house: Advice?re
I think a “break” when you’re dating and when you’re married are two different things.
Sometimes breaks are healthy in a marriage. You just need your full on alone time to work on yourself so you can be better together. That does not include sleeping around. That’s still cheating
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This is a Ross and Rachel debate 
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Definitely mention it
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Sounds like it was planned on his end 
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Could it have been a door dasher just walking away from the door at that time?
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he thought he’d try other things and have u to come back to as a second option. you are not a second option. you are the first entree no substitute. don’t let him do u like that.
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You need to have a frank discussion. Especially if he may be sleeping around. You don’t want cooties.
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Cleaning lady maybe? Ask him and see what he says.
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If there was no communication of you two seeing other people during the break then what he did is definitely wrong and cheating. Say something to him and if you think it’s a last straw as youse were already struggling if youse are on a break, I think leaving sounds to me like what needs to be done.
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I’d definitely mention it.
I think is depending on the terms and reasons for the break , you should not stop leaving just because someone needs to put you in “ pause mood “ some breaks can last forever
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I can’t be the only one thinking back to this
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If you were on a break what did you expect? If you work through your problems never walk away from them this kind of stuff doesn’t happen you might as well say you’re on your way to a divorce from the sounds of things you should work through it not around it
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I can’t imagine NOT mentioning it! How is this even a serious question? I’d be sending a text saying: I didn’t know that we would be seeing other people on our break, and see what he responds. I think your break is directly related to him being interested in another woman.
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Doesn’t matter if your on a break cheating is cheating . Sounds like he had it planned all along. Serve him with divorce papers marriage is one thing dating is another.
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Could she have been dropping something off like food/groceries?
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Wow! I would have stopped her and seen what her business was.
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Do you have a Ring doorbell? Maybe she was delivering something or honestly there for some type of business. 
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Yes mention it. However if it wasn’t a term of the break to remain faithful then as you all are on a break and not together he has all right.
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Don’t believe in breaks
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If you are still doing the deed with him then yes ask but if yall are dry with each other what do you expect.
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I don’t believe in breaks. Honestly, if he’s screwing some other woman in your home together then it’s over. If you take a “break” it’s probably over. You can borrow my rule: no breaks. A man only leaves me once.
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He’s not on a break. He’s out!!
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You don’t get to dictate what he does during a break up (which is what a ‘‘break’’ is) and he doesn’t get to dictate what you do. Either learn how to work through your issues while together or call it quits and go your separate ways.
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Umm that’s what a break is. But I’m sure this female has been around.
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I would have took a picture of her and sent it to him and asked him if he hired a house keeper?
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I would ask him about it
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In cowboy terms, you left the pasture but thought you closed the gate behind you? he may or may not assume your doing the same thing but he’s assuming he’s on hall pass
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He’s sleeping with her. Divorce
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If it’s a break your marriage is not over .
Like when you’re at work and you go for a lunch break.
Doesn’t mean you don’t have a job anymore.
You’re back at work after that so same as marriage. Lol
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If you guys are on a “break” you guys really should have sat down and talked about what that means to the both of you. Clear boundaries and hopes for the future. A break means you still have hope to be together. Kind of hard to have that when you’re sleeping with other people.
Talk. To. Your. Husband.
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A separation is a means to an end.
Move on girl.
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Wait……a break??? What’s a break ?
Cus your married not dating… that’s two different things
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Talking to him about it is going to push him farther away most likely, is that what you wanna do? Seems like he planned the break so he could explore her as an option in my opinion. Go date other people and leave it at that or divorce him and move on because he’s clearly already trying to move on seems like.
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You said ‘seeing other people too’ grammatically that is also. So you can but he can’t?
I would just stop considering it a “break“ and now realize this is the end of your relationship with him and figure out what to do from here…
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Let that man go. It’s hard, and hurts, but he’s obviously not wanting the marriage to work.
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A break from marriage? Not sure what that entails? My hubby & I have been married for 20 yrs. I get that some relationships resort to that but our marriage is oblivious to that. We don’t wanna be away from each other even for a day so I think that a re-evaluation needs to happen. Sorry for this happening to you. But find a better YOU! You deserve more!
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Are u sure it’s not just like a Uber drop off person or a friend I’d ask first
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If y’all are MARRIED “break or not” and seeing other ppl wasn’t agreed on, it’s cheating, period. Me personally, I’d just be very more attentive and figure out if he is actually seeing someone OR it was a random person (possible, but I’d be doubtful) IF he was seeing her, the break would be over, along with the marraige and he’d be served
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If you’s truly loved eachother and wanted to fight to fix your guys relationship yous wouldn’t have had a break in the first place. I personally don’t believe in breaks, maybe time away from eachother like a girls trip or a guys trip but definitely not breaks that goes to show yous weren’t trying very hard for the relationship. Also whoever initiated the break in the first place practically hints that there seeing someone else, or there no longer happy in the relationship, just like you said you seen another women leave the house so basically he’s had that planned all along 
Honestly it’s not worth mentioning, just file a divorce no explanation needed he will know exactly why.
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What do u call a break when you’re married? If you were not married it’s called a break but when married isn’t that seperated and then divorce but before seeing others get a divorce…when u made your vow to one another it’s death til you part! Why get married if u want a break? You are not dating you’re married!
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You shouldn’t have left your home . You guys are a marriage and things get rough but it doesn’t mean y’all need a break . You should just tell him if he’s seeing someone else and hopefully he doesn’t make something up and tells you what you wants to hear . You should’ve confronted them both the day you saw that women leaving your house .
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There’s no such thing as “a break” when you are married. He wanted his freedom to screw around without the guilt and pressure.
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Confront him. You saw her. Tell him you saw her. It’s likely time to file for divorce.
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Go back home and tell him to go stay with the woman you saw come out of your house
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Uh yeah…clarify what the “break” means. What are you solving or what are you both doing to go forward???
Well seeing another woman leaving should give you all the answers about that man you could possibly need…
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A break? What are we 12?
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Talk to him about it.
Yeah he probably has been seeing this woman for awhile now and thats why he was so comfortable bringing her over. Probably the reason you needed this “break” in the first place
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Mention it definitely
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U need to ask questions
Yes then kick the shit out of him
Confront him. Some do “breaks” and see others. Some don’t. Clearly whatever this break means…means you are getting divorced because he’s clearly not having an issue moving on
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Ross? Rachel? Is it you?
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You dont see other ppl when you are having a break, you are married, not just dating
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There is no break lol you either leave each other or stay and deal with each other , break can give open doors to other female getting pregnant or even your self get prego ,
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Talk to him and you need to lay out the terms of this break. Should of done that in the start.
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It’s clear he needed this break to explore his options. Not because he wanted a break so the relationship can be healthier. It sounds like you both are on two different pages. You need someone who will value you and respect you even on a “break”. I wouldn’t put any more time in the relationship. You deserve someone who will choose you every single time. Especially if you are married and made vows 
.
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Do marriage vows not mean anything anymore. How does one take a “break” from marriage? Asking for a friend…
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Married adults don’t take “breaks” in their marriage. Secondly, you say you saw a woman leaving “his” house🤔
Are you sure y’all are married and he’s not your boyfriend of like 6 months or something? Things don’t add up here
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Maybe a solicitor/ financial advisert/ Estate agent …
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If you’re married there shouldn’t be no other people break or not. A break is for a boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes you tell him something and thats yalls house. You’re married!!
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She’s the reason you’re on a break.
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Breaks are for discovering yourselves & issues in your marriage not for dating
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What makes you conclude that he is seeing that particular female? What if she was delivering something?
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You’re the one that wanted to take a break married couples don’t take breaks you either stay together or you get divorced so that’s your fault
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Find yourself a date just like he did and go out and do your own thing too. Glad that you seen what you did. I’m sorry your dealing with this though. However, if taking a break to him also includes seeing other people and he’s doing it, then you should as well. If he can, then you can. If he finds out, well he is the one that opened the door to dating others while taking a break from your marriage. Just take care of yourself and stay strong and get out and enjoy yourself too!
JayQuellinn Sanchez in the first sentence she said " our house" but then said “his” very confusing.
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Y’all bitching on here like “Married couples don’t take breaks”. Omg y’all are crazy. And girl what y’all do in y’alls marriage is up to y’all! If you mean time off as legally separated, then that might make sense to some of these advisors But I would have definitely gone over terms. Bc I feel like in a big step like this, taking breaks, communicating the dos and donts and time frames would have been important. Since clearly, seeing other people wasn’t mentioned, I would bring it up. But be prepared for him to react a certain way. I would definitely reevaluate where this relationship is going. If you’re not happy or he isn’t, then maybe it’s time to see the 
and allow yourself to find something else.
Feel free to reply but I won’t respond 
Yeah, you mention it. You ask about it. You deserve to know the truth and not have all these thoughts.
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I thought only high schooler boyfriends/girlfriends had “breaks” not grown married couples.
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Hell yes, you mention it!!
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Sounds like you guys have a communication issue
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Break is a nice way of saying you’re done.
Gather your things and dignity and quit dragging it out.
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Ummmmm… Is it his house or your house? Because you say “the” house and “his house” but you never say our house. Married couples don’t take breaks because you made a commitment to each other. That’s something you do when you are just dating.
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Maybe a realtor…. If y’all are married on a break maybe he’s gonna sell “his house”
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Of course you mention it. Separation in marriage is to decide if you are able to work out whatever problems you have. It is to help each person find themselves and determine where they want to go from there. It is not for dating and seeing other people. If the person decides they no longer what to be with their spouse, okay but they should tell the spouse not continue with the separation while seeing another person.
Confront him, it sounds like you’re “taking a break” because he wants to be with this other person. You deserve to know the truth.
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Yes mention it definitely and I also would get rid move on, he can’t do that and expect you to wait , he’s taking the piss your not a mug!!!
Have more respect for yourself love x
Married couples don’t take breaks. You stay together and work through your problems or you divorce. You dont see other people because that is cheating …youre married not bf /gf…
Marriage is being committed to one person no matter how hard it gets. Its staying together and faithful until the decision is made to divorce .
Talk to him about what you saw. If hes seeing other people then the marriage is over…imo
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Why did you drive by? I would have gotten what I came for and asked the question. Bc now you sound petty and like you’re watching him if you being it up. Sounds like it’s time to get a lawyer.
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You wanted to take a break and moved out. You gave him permission to see other people by asking for that.
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“MaRrIeD PeOpLe DoNt TaKe BrEaKs” 
Have yall not heard of separation?!?
Even some marriage counselors will suggest a separation, depending on the circumstances!
But… a separation is to decide if you want to continue the relationship. If he’s already entertaining someone else, then he’s made his decision 
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Ur better than me. I would have parked and went inside.
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Get your butt back in your house.
File for legal separation and make him leave. If he is seeing other women, HE can leave your family house.
Wow. You don’t take a break from a marriage. It’s over. Move on. Maybe it’s a female friend, coworker or cousin for all you know. You can mention it, but what is it gonna do? You guys took a break, which really means, we’re done.
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You’re “on a break” so ummm yeah, get the fk over it or get divorced.
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Totally mention it, just ask him about it before you make any assumptions
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I would of drove to a divorce attorney’s office and filed of divorce. Seeing another woman leave your house shows you he doesn’t value or care about you.
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Did he walk her out? Was she sitting in her car? Did she look like she just did the dirty? Before you fly off the handle and work off emotions consider she may have been there for other reasons
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My break from marriage is sleeping on the couch. Or leaving the other person who fell asleep on the couch, on the couch, instead of waking them up as usual to go get in bed with you.
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Sex is sex love is love, just bc he’s getting off with another woman doesn’t mean he’s moved on. Who asked for the “break” and don’t give me that 'we decided it together ’ bc someone brought it up first, if it was you then what were u expecting? Him to sit around and wait on u to make ur decision to come back? Just bc he had sex with someone else doesn’t mean he doesn’t still want u. Idk about bringing it up or not but if you didn’t want him to be with other women u shouldn’t have asked for, or agreed to a break can’t have it both ways a break from yalls relationship AND him not to see other women thats not fair.
big red flag – why do MARRIED couples need a break? talk out problems go to thearpy do whatever but leave the house? not i feel its already over for him
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Looks like your marriage is over tbh
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