My husband and I can’t agree on what state to live in. Back story. We are both from a state. We both grew up there. I am very close with my friends and family. He isn’t. So moving out of state was an easy choice for him. I agreed and we did it. Which was hard as is. Since moving we got pregnant and had our first child. It’s harder and harder every day. I work from home and with the baby all day. I have zero social life. No friends here. No family. I absolutely hate being in this state. We just uprooted our life a year ago. Am I wrong for being so unhappy here and wanting to go back home and be surrounded with my friends and family. To have my little one grow up around family. How do we even compromise? He doesn’t like our home state and I hate this state. So torn. I plan on trying to suck it up, but I’m starting to emotionally feel like I’m falling apart and I don’t want to raise my child in this state. Nor be here anymore. Please help
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband and I cannot decide on where to live: Advice?
Have him watch his kid and you go out and make friends
This same question was posted a few weeks ago 
Go home. If he doesn’t follow you, you may be better off without him.
Go out and get a job instead of staying home with the kids all the time. Honestly it helped me tremendously. I worked whatever hours I could when he got off work to watch the kids
Gotta give a move like that more time.
You chose to have a baby and are home a lot so this will take longer. Takes a few years to adjust.
Do events, take a class, join Facebook groups where moms with other young kids meet up. A yr is not very long, esp with having a new child and working from home won’t allow you to get out and socialize. Going to a class would. Try meeting people first, then if after awhile you still feel the same way discuss it with your husband about moving back
Go home if he doesn’t like it let him go
Go back home. I was stuck in a state for 11 years and regret that lost time. Go home as soon as you can.
I feel like I read this post a while ago…
Food for though- move closer to home state. Find a moms group or local church to make friends. My kid tells me “mom, not everyone is like you and can make friends so easily.” However I would encourage to at least try before moving again.
I’m seeing a lot of go home responses, but it’s not all about you. Your husband deserves to be happy too. You need to make new friends and have time out of the house. It sounds like you are lonely, which happens when it’s just you and a newborn all day. Give it more time, use duo or a similar app to FaceTime your family sometimes. Talk to your husband about your feelings.
Definitely give them state more time it’s only been a year and you added a child on top of a new adjustment. Get out go to the park, find momma morning out groups.
go home he will follow
Find the local library do they have any storytimes or programs. Find a church or moms group. Just get put of the house when you can. Take a walk or go to a park. Find an evening excercise class or yoga. Hobbies? Learn a new hobby through a community ed class or community College or even a craft store. Get a manucure. Go for a walk alone or a target run! Volunteer somewhere. I live in the same area I grew up in and have family around but still was lonely after I had my first child. I loved our local library. I met other mothers. Can you take your work to a coffee shop? My neice wbo works from home often goes to the mall they have internet lounges she works there when she feels isolated. You can take the baby! Your husband needs to keep the baby 1 or 2 evenings a week. You need to take care of you!
Find a happy middle point. How far are you from your home state? Find a half way point in a good state.
Join mom groups, library story time, sign baby up for classes, so much you can do just have to get out and do it. Make an effort to find and make friends.
What do you actually not like about current state?
Find some friends! Makes it so much easier. I’m sure there’s a moms group for your area and if there’s not, make one! You’d be surprised how many moms want mom friends
Can you make plans to go visit for awhile?, or can your family come visit you?. This is hard I understand loving you spouse but not loving where you live even though he does. I was like that at first when we moved out of our home state 3 years ago until we started making friends. He is an anti-social person so he is happy with just me and the kids. Some messed up stuff happened and we don’t have any friends here anymore, but my mom is here. I would love to move again but I really don’t want to up uproot my kids because they love their school and friends so I am willing to stay for them. I think maybe you need to start going out places so you have a chance to meet new people give it a chance one year is not that long. It took me about a year to be fully comfortable with our life in our new state.
Tell him you want to go home. You want you child to be around family. That’s important for the child to know family. Move closer you don’t hate to be right into the middle of the town. I understand why you want to move back but I don’t understand why he wanted to leave 
You don’t need him to agree for you to do what’s best for you and your child.
It is really hard with little kids to have no support system nearby. My husband and I tried this for a few years and it was really hard. You two are partners and each others feelings should be discussed and respected but also the best situation for your child.
Family. As a kid who grew up away from everyone I pick the state with family if they are solid and good people. And after military we plan to be near family long term. It’s hard.
BUT I will say if financially it’ll screw your guys up then consider that. Because being near family is wonderful but being able to provide a roof and food is crucial.
It’s a tough one but your support system is everything. Being in a place you hate is its own special hell. Go home.
I know you said he doesn’t like that state y’all came from, like the whole state or just that area in that state? Maybe he would consider at least moving closer, but I agree with some of the others to get our and meet.
Pick a state closer to your old one. He will have that new state feel and you will be just some hours from home.
Go home life is short…
Have you even really tried to like it? Gone out and done things. Attempt to make friends?
Can you move closer to home in the same state? What about a mommy and me group so you both can meet friends? It is definitely hard with no support system.
Easy go back to your friends and family and if he don’t wanna follow you that’s his problem
It’s hard maybe call family every day. Maybe look up mommy groups… if it were me I’d look up groups for mommy and me things. That way you can make friends as well and your little one. It really sucks moving somewhere and not knowing anyone I know and it’s hard to want to get out with a baby or kids in general but there are groups and things every where. In every state. Just gotta know where to look and always be safe when finding these groups
Military wife here🙋🏽♀️ I know exactly what you’re going through. We move every 3 years and in fact just moved out of the country. If it’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s OK to not bloom where you’re planted… right away. It’s really hard to not have family or a support system, however it’s your job to ensure you build one. Get out, meet new people. You’re only miserable as long as you make yourself that way. Don’t resent your husband, there’s reasons why you both agreed to move in the first place. Home is where and how you make it. Of course it’s going to suck if you have that mentality. Join mommy groups, get to know your husband’s coworkers wives, get to know your neighbors, reach out locally to volunteer programs, churches etc. As a military wife, people’s comments of “just go back home” sometimes isn’t possible. He is your home. At least that’s how it is for me. If it’s one thing I’ve learned about my lifestyle is if you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude about it.
Can u both compromise n get closer to ur home state???
Sounds like you already decided where to live or you wouldn’t be where your at. Grow up suck it up and do something to fix the things your complaining about…get off your behind, look for a gym, a local animal shelter, or homeless shelter to volunteer at, that’s a start.
You are where your suppose to be, when you are where you’re at.
He needs to grow the heck up and take y’all back home
Moving away from everyone is like starting over, theres nobody to lean on to ask for any help, you’re alone and on your own, and the only people who care are a 1000 miles away that you separated from. You’re always going to ask yourself why and the answer will always be “because thats what he wanted to do.” You’ve embarked on an adventure full of mystery, wonder and survival…if it starts getting too easy again, you can always up the stakes and try moving to another country…if its challenge and adventure you seek. 
First and foremost, What you are doing is an amazing job.
Secondly, you need to find an outside of the home job. Than you’re social life may grow. What you and your husband are experiencing are 2 totally different things. He’s meeting people and you are not. So get a job outside of home, and share the load. Compromise is not where, one stays home AND work. That sh*t is outdated. Work as a team like a couple are meant to. Find your grounding and if he is not willing to compromise than go home, with your babies
Either visit home and see family with or without him or try moving to another place that is closer to home. My guy wants to move as well. We currently live in my hometown and both work, but he isn’t wanting this to be permanent. I feel like moving isnt the best option right now let alone 5 years from now. Until we are better financially and can stay that way there will be zero moving until then.
I would join some mommy and me groups that you and baby can go to a few times a month. You can meet other moms and their kids and start being social. It’s hard uprooting, but you have to remember why you did it in the first place. Having a new baby, new surroundings and working from home is definitely intimidating for even the strongest of individual. Stay strong.
Life’s to short to miserable, Family is important and raising a kid in a world where everyone is for themselves makes it even harder. Live for love, and happiness
I’m curious on which states. Lol
My husband and I moved from our home state to the state we are now and like it due to being so much cheaper and to start over. Our sin was a baby back then. We didn’t know anyone except for 1 or 2 people who we no longer live around. 2 years ago we moved almost an hour further from family to a good job, nice house and near a bigger city. We have co workers and maybe 2 good friends. Our son and his gf live 25 mes from us and visit when off work but other than that we don’t have people who visit and when my hubby is working I get bored and lonely even with our younger teen girls at home lol they in their rooms. Smh lol. I miss having friends to do stuff with but would not trade where we are until the youngest graduates in 5 years we then will travel for retirement lol. Hugs and I can relate.
Move back home where your family is
Talk to him, let him know what is important to you!
You have many other States to choose from as a compromise. You can live in a bordering State to your family and you would be close enough yet far enough to work for you both
You hate the state you’re in.
He hates the start you’re from.
How about moving to another state entirely, not your home state, not this one but maybe a little closer to home.
Compromise. Move closer to home but a neighboring state.
If he really wants to make a go of it in your new state try to find ways to knit in. If it’s only been a year that really is still very new especially coming out of Covid. Maybe find a local moms group where you can bring your little one and meet other moms from your town/community. Join a local gym and take some group classes, etc.
Believe it or not I understand how you feel and I sympathize my husband wanted to move us out of state and he stayed because of me cuz I wanted to be close to my family I mean they were spread out you know just a couple of counties away but then he passed away and I did when I told him I would do and none of that I moved closer to where my family was around me guess what I’m still alone they have their lives to live they can’t be with me when I want them with me they can’t do all these things so you’ve got to figure it out you’ve got to make a life for yourself your husband and your child go out and make friends do everything you can don’t be like me because our flat refused now I’m pretty much alone
Life’s too short to be sitting around unhappy… hoping for the best outcome for you and family.
I left my home town at 18 with my 3 month old. I lasted 6 months. I’m glad I came home. You can’t replace family. They will not always be here. Memories are what will be left.
What was a reasonable reason for moving in the first place? Why wouldn’t he want you to be happy? Family is very important and it seems he has no real connections anywhere. I feel sorry for you…
Life is about connection.
The question you need to be asking is: “Is this connection to him really greater than or equal to the connections you sacrifice to stay where you are?”
The person I feel most connected to once said: “Women come and go, but Uncle Joe will always be Uncle Joe.”
I don’t really have that, but maybe it means something to you?
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Go out and join a mother tot group. Make new friends
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Try making friends
Join some local mom groups and reach out
Get a hobby or hit the gym for some you time
Working from home shouldn’t mean you’re stuck at home
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Does he understand your position? Does he know the importance of this to you and your child? He should realize that he needs to do the right thing for you.
I’d say try to move back closer to a state y’all both can agree on that way you could drive to see your family and friends
U deserve to be happy too, not JUST him. Explain to him how you’ve been feeling and hopefully that’ll be enough to make him have a heart to heart with u so u both can discuss civilly like adults what the best move would be. Don’t think u have to compromise ur happiness and be miserable in a place where u know u don’t want to be. If he is dead set on not going back, then u may have to make a choice. Do u want to stay where ur at with him and be unhappy the entire time, which can be bad for ur mental and physical health, or would u be willing to live separately from him and be happy and free? Weigh all the possibilities.
Maybe compromise and move a little close to your old home. Maybe an hour or less away. 
Some states I wouldn’t suggest moving to due to State taxes. Your family needs a good education and good area for better jobs and education.
I know how you feel about the friends and family part ( it’s hard ) my mom and step dad and my kids live in Tx
I’m in wv and I have my husbands family but I have my youngest son to he is 30 but handicapped and has mind of 15/16 year old
My other family Cousins
Aunts,a uncles live in pa like (21/2-3 hours from me and I’ve got other family in other states . But all my friends live in Houston Tx and have a few in Va and a few in different states I don’t have any friends close to me that I hang out wit and do stuff with the closest is like 3 hours away . It sucks !!!
Maybe get to know church members with couples your age,