My husband and I have different parenting styles: Advice?

So I have been married to my husband for five years. We both brought a child from a previous relationship boy and girl 11 and 12. Our parenting styles are different, to say the least, we argue about the kids and consequences of their actions a lot never in front of them though. His son goes with his grandparents a lot, and I’ve noticed that he is so disrespectful to them. He basically rules the house. He doesn’t listen to them. I told my husband that he needs to correct this, but every time he disciplines him in front of his parents, they get mad. So now he just says that if they had a problem with it, they would say something. I don’t think this is right. His parents need to respect him as a father and not let their grandchild treat them badly. When we are at their house, he tries to treat us the same way I will not stand for this. I told my husband he needs to say something, but he won’t. What do I do, what should I say?? He never treats my family this way, but of course, my family would set him straight right away. When he comes home from longer stays with them, it takes him a few days to adjust to our rules and how he should behave. He is constantly telling people that he is the boss over there if he wants a new toy, he gets a toy if he wants to eat out they eat out. I’ve tried to talk to my husband, but I get nowhere I need advise.


if he’s going to act like that he needs to not be going to the grandparents house


My bf and me don’t have the same parenting style either it’s so tough that we often argue about how we deal with things.

Well, that is his child, and his parents.


Honestly it’s his son. That sounds harsh but it’s true. If he really thought it was an issue he’d fix it, his parents don’t seem to mind and if they did they’d say something. If it’s really that big of a deal then have a family meeting with the kid and the grandparents tell them how you feel about it and how it effect his behavior at y’alls home and you don’t want your kid to see that behavior and think it’s okay. If the only way to change and correct his behavior is to stop visits then so be it. I think y’all should have had this talk and fixed it before getting married though, to me it sounds like the grandparents are acting as his mom and dad and not your husband.

Why punish the grandparents by stopping the visits.

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Ma’am PLZZZZ excuse my brashness, But before you go making the call of Keeping the boy from HIS Natural grandparents bc you don’t agree with how he is being PERMITTED to behave in THIER home, let me point out a couple of things. First hes NOT your child, secondly you have NO right to make that decision, if the child has been given clear expectations of acceptable behavior in your home then that IS all you can do. I have seen TOO MANY step parents making this MISTAKE. This is this child’s Family and was way before you entered the family, you’re parenting style is you’re choice,as dads is HIS choice, you don’t have to agree with it, but you need to find a way to except it. I have seen a marriage end bc the stepmother just didn’t think anyone besides HER and HER family knew anything about parenting. I only say that bc you’re comments came off the same way.

Correct the kid & the grand parents. Who knows how the child will turn out being so disrespectful. Don’t wait. It’s for his own good!


My husbands 11 year old daughter is the same way. We’ve have fault for years about the way she treats me my young kids him well anybody. She will honestly be the cause of our divorce one day too. But when I try to say anything he will compare her to my 4 year old son who has ADHD and ODD who has mulitple professionals working with him on behavior. But he also tells me shes not mine so I have no say in anything. But I make my kids respect him and everyone else. 💁

Grandparents and dad are enabling this kid, not going to be pretty when he gets older :woman_shrugging:


Personally the comments saying it’s his son make me laugh! Because when you marry someone you share everything with them that includes parenting! And sounds too me that the OP is the only one looking out for this child so that the child does not turn out too be a disrespectful adult! This type of behavior doesn’t magically correct itself! So I think that the grandparents and father aren’t doing the young boy and justice by allowing him to behave as a spoiled brat!


Good luck there teenagers very hard to manage set guidelines rules it’s your home

It doesn’t matter who’s child or where that child goes. Respect is learned/taught at home. It goes with you wherever you go, in everything you do! Ground rules for life. Explain this to your husband, child, family. It’s key for life, just like morals. It doesn’t matter if you’re at school, the grocery store, out with friends or with grand parents. It’s what is expected. If you abuse that respect, there will always be consequences. Life lessons, do it before the teen years. Values that reflect you and your family.


I am a step grandparent to a 10 yr old And a grand parent to her 2yr old sister.
I love them both and have tried everything for five years to get the oldest to listen to me.
It’s been a up hill battle.
She is rude acts up and doesn’t listen .
But as of late she’s been coming to stay the night with us When I have her little sister.
My granddaughter has started to display some of her bad habits , she acts like she hates her one aunty
and yes I’ve told my son and daughter inlaw about it for years ,
they just ignored it.
But now the baby pinches slaps and screams.
When a child acts out it’s everybody in the familys problem.
Or it will be a bigger one. It’s got to be addressed and soon. I have to disaplin my granddaughter ! And she cry’s breaks my heart but bad behavior carries over to society and school, I’ve told my son they should disaplin both girls before we have two problem children.
Advice…Have a family meeting .
that’s what we’ve recently done.
And the 10yr old is acting better.
And I’m not the bad guy in this . She has been very good lately.