Hi mamas. My husband and I just broke up. Technically separated but I don’t see our marriage working out after he walked out so easily. This past year he hadn’t really helped with housework and he had upped his game with that, but he was also very snippy and sarcastic with us for a long time. It got to be like walking on eggshells. I kept threatening that if things didn’t improve, I wouldn’t stay bc I wasn’t happy. Well we had a talk today after a week full of defensiveness, him rolling his eyes at me and making me feel bad. I said I thought I should go stay with my mom for a while and he jumped at it, going to stay with his mom. Said he was tired of me saying I would leave, that he doesn’t need therapy, and that he was tired of living with our rescue pets. I am blindsided. I thought this was the man I would spend my life with and for him to give up so easily. The worst part is I always thought we would raise our toddler together and now mommy and daddy aren’t together. My heart is completely broken.
any man that makes you choose between your pets and him? Ain’t worth keeping around - enjoy your life without the dead weight. The animals will remain loyal but he never will- they are just the excuse he needed and that’s all. And to leave his kid? Kick rocks buddy
he sounds exhausting… jumping to leave so quickly like that? … I have to wonder if he’s got a Lil something on the side
Sometimes people walk out of your life because you deserve someone better. If my ex didn’t walk out I wouldn’t have met my one true love. Things happen for a reason and it’s hard to see it in the moment but with time it becomes clear.
What do you expect when yoy keep throwing out leaving like it isnt a big thing.
Sounds like hes had enough of your empty threats and has said “fuck it, i will leave since you keep threatening to”
Let him go. No need to threaten a man, if you’re gunna leave just do it. Housework? Should be already done.
In April of this year my husband came home from work and said we needed to talk and he had keys to a new apartment, he would come over all the time to see our kids, then in June he got with an old girlfriend (baby momma 1) and now less than a month tried to get our teenagers to meet her they said no, and now less than 2 months together trying it again and they still say no and he seems to think I’m an evil mom. I know nothing about this person. I am baby momma 4 with the ring, been with him the longest and had the most kids with him. I completely understand about feeling broken…I am now in the process of filing papers and feeling like a failure.
In his defense, someone constantly threatening to leave gets tiring and old. I don’t blame him.
Get rid of the dogs stop threatening him and instead of telling him to get therapy you get it. Take a break regroup find a therapist for you not him. Stop being his mom with household duties and just do what you can or what needs to be done. Figure out what the real problems are attack them not each other. Get a tablet write down what needs to be done around the house and divide them or just do it. Don’t be his mom. Find your own happiness and allow him to be him and accommodate his needs as well as your own. Don’t badger him. Make a plan on how y’all want life to look like and figure out how to get there together.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. It happened to me as well. Check out Divorcecare.org wonderful program that helped me thru. Get back with God and he will see you thru!
Your toddler doesn’t need to see his example of selfish irresponsibility. It happens to the best of us. You deserve better than that loser.
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While this is going to be an adjustment for both you and your child, you’re not blindsided. He has been showing you for quite some time now exactly how he felt. You just wouldn’t allow yourself to see it. Look at the signs - all the signs that you just pointed out to all of us.
Now, mommy can meet someone who treats her how she deserves to be treated and your toddler can grow up seeing someone love their mother properly!
This is a win for you, not a loss!
I was physically exhausted and the mental abuse he subjected me to. He told me to leave the house. Next month August it’s been nearly a year separated. 34 years in a marriage. I was so hurt and angry but after nearly 1 year not living with him, I feel free and happy as. He needed help counselling with demons that he carries. My sons are grown men and I feel free and happy. I may not be working but I am happier without him in my life. My future is looking amazing because I have met someone and I am so happy.
Well well you got what you asked for pets over him. Enjoy your life.
Can I add a comment im a man my wife left with my father when he got out of prison. She was 23 he was 55 . She was 4 months pregnant. By me. You talk about your world coming down around you I was only married for a year. My daughter refuses to see me . My lawyer at time I was so full of anger I couldn’t be around the. At all. Told walk away sign off. I did…I seen her over the years. For few minutes at time.my daughter. She knows I’m her father but choice not to be in my life. So it been like going hell and back. I survived. My dad died few years back.so ex had to baby sit he had mad dementia last 6 years of his life when I married I plan on staying I just didn’t drink enough and party enough I was boring to be with
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He is tired? Change the locks!!
I can’t believe how many people are on this guys side. He is a dush and no one should tell or insist on telling their mate to get rid of animals. What’s next ? He doesn’t even care about his toddler let alone the dogs. Such a man is not worth keeping. He is a narcissist dushbag Lady you can do much better. Find someone that cares for you and works with you instead of against you
To give up so easily makes me think there’s another woman
Not saying he shouldn’t have tried but when you keep hearing I will leave if you don’t do this it kinda tells them your not that interested anymore yes he should have tried and been more willing to help or do couples counseling but people just get to that point over time
Change the locks and make sure he can’t come back .
Breaking up is never easy but from reading this it doesn’t sound like he made a rash decision. It sounds like it’s being going on for awhile. You mentioned that you constantly threatened to leave. It sounds like he just got tired of the empty threats. Maybe if there’s constant bickering your toddler would be better off having two loving parents that focus solely on him instead of being raised in a stress filled home.
Sorry, but I think you just escaped a lifetime of unhappiness. It’s time to contact a lawyer. Make sure alimony / child support is on the agenda. Find a place to live, childcare, and a job. You’re better off on your own. Love yourself.
You deserve better Mama. Make this as a sign that even though change is hard at first, you’ll eventually get use to it after a while. Maybe you will meet another man who is worthy and kind. Hugs 
It honestly sounds like you nagged and nagged and he made an attempt to do what you were asking, and you STILL weren’t happy with it, and THEN you had the audacity to give him an ultimatum. You’re married, there shouldn’t be threats to leave constantly and ultimatums. Maybe you should apologize, learn how to communicate in a non- threatening way, and realize relationships are give and take. You know how much my husband helps with the house work? Literally 0.01%, the man doesn’t even throw his dirty clothes down the laundry chute half the time. What he does do is work and bust his ass at work and provide for our family. I also work, but part time, and do 85% of the child care and 99.9% of the house work. Focusing on minor shit like who’s doing the house work and breaking up a marriage over it is ridiculous. Hire someone to clean once a month or something (it would be like $130-180) and give each other a damn break. You have kids, and a family, and I can assure you the grass isn’t greener on the other side. People are way too quick to end their marriages over nonsense these days. But I guess to each their own 
I’m not saying he’s blameless, but you definitely aren’t either, in fact it’s like 75% your fault from what it sounds like.
Sometimes we don’t realise the games of separation we play in a relationship where each thinks each other is right. I only realised that after the separation. No one is perfect & we are not always going to agree, however reacting is the problem & the negative put downs as well instead of compliments and encouragement. This is not about separation, all relationships need work. Try to stop repeating the same & expecting different results…
Love shouldn’t hurt 
some people come into and out of our lives in a way that actually strengthens us and we grow from it. better days are ahead my dear.
God has a plan just trust him!