Find a boyfriend and see if it goes both ways. Just be prepared to lose your marriage, Poly relationships need a lot of trust and communication.
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Personally I would reach out to maybe couples that are poly and have experience and are about the lifestyle. I mean this respectfully because I’m not poly but that doesn’t mean I judge it but some may be against it and not understanding of it. Hope that whatever you do it’s a choice you’re both happy with because that part I do know. I know some couples that have other partners but they’re can be no real attachment because they believe they are the spouses and no other man or woman gets that part of them. I know it takes work but I have friends that it works for. Good luck.
How do you not mind!? Istg if my husband ever mentioned this we’d be getting a divorce. I understand maybe having the occasional 3some or something but it sounds like he wants out. That’s not love. That’s not marriage. That’s my perspective. I understand everyone is different.
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I don’t see nothing wrong with it this is a real thing google it people doing this everyday and it’s working either you give it to him or lose him because clearly that’s what he wants and I will rather lose his by trying then lose him by not trying 
Expect heartache. No good will come of this in my opinion. He’s not happy then he can leave. Why would you settle for less than you are worth??
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Yeah no, sounds like he wants to see if she has potential before actually leaving you for her. 
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If you’ve been married for 5 years and need to “spice up” your marriage already, you might as well throw in the towel now. There is no way you won’t be jealous. He will spend way more time with her because the relationship will be new and be in the honeymoon phase.
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Don’t do get a divorce B4 it gets out of hand he doesn’t love you if he is asking you to do something like this for real
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Find a boyfriend and see if he’s opened to it
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Husband and I had the same talk a few months ago. It’s destroying us. I’m okay with having him and someone else and he is okay with me having him and someone else but I am not okay with him having a girlfriend. I was never really a fan of poly.
Ewww… this is not marriage… you are very confused… you need to dump him and find a decent life partner
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*** BE RECORDING THIS BEFORE YOU START***
I would come out of no where and say… I’m glad you asked because I didn’t know how to ask you for awhile now. Make up this elegant story how you were propositioned by a “dressed” to the max man! Meaning he has it all, he’s rich, owns a big company, mansion, make it believable, etc… therefore he could lose you to this man as he’s working with and has more to offer literally!! Check his feelings about it on your end!! Most people aren’t ok with accepting what they expect others to be accepting of!!
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Pretty sure this should be something you discuss with your husband to figure out what works best for you and him.
Yeah you do you, but that is a big hell naw in my marriage.
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Yea…don’t do it. Trust me.
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No way!! He’s married to you. He needs to stay focused on your relationship and not start a new one. This would be unacceptable to me. I’m afraid it won’t end well friend.
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He wants to play sister wives. That outfit is falling apart.God meant for us to.have one partner. If he does not like that he him bye
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Divorced my Ex over his wanting to indulge in polyamory. If you are truly ok with sharing him with other women at the same time go for it.
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No. Just no. Don’t ask me how I know but I do. If you really love him, feelings and jealousy will get in the way. Comparison is the thief of joy and you will compare everything about you and her.
Cut your ties,and burn that bridge.Hes comfortable with you and will keep you as long as you agree to his cheating.If his side piece don’t work out,he still has you until the next chick catches his eye.You want multiple partners? Be single.
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5 years into a marriage is not the time to have that talk. That should have been done day 1.
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Sister Wives is proof enough that it doesn’t work except for the man!
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HEAILLLL NAH! but do you 
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I’m sorry but I’m not about that life. If you are, you do you. I just don’t share my husband with anyone and never will.
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Noooo. Ask him if it’s okay that it’s another guy instead. I bet his opinion would change REAL fast.
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Ive been with my bf for 3 years. We are poly. I can tell you right now, it can be very difficult and is not for everyone. Youve been with him for so long and he hasnt mentioned it before, i wouldnt trust it. That isba red flag
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If you’re not into it, say no. Don’t try to please him!
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Someone’s gonna get very hurt during the process 
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No way, if that’s what he wants now what’s next. I agree with Amue Joe. He’s asking to cheat. If you say no what is he going to do…
Correction. There’s no we want to spice things up. He wants someone else while having u also. And u want to make him happy so you’re willing to do whatever.
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Poly is a way to destroy your marriage. He can fall for the other girl. It will be easy because he already wants the other girl. If he loves you he would not want anyone else
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That’s not how a poly relationship works. It’s a decision that you would make together and you both would be dating outside of your marriage, but usually this is discussed BEFORE a relationship is started, not five years into a marriage. To me, it sounds like he wants to cheat with more steps. Did you even want this or just feel stuck? You’re either monogamous or your not, which is okay if you are comfortable and respectful and it doesn’t seem like he is either. I’m telling you if you did get a boyfriend, he would probably lose it. I’ve talked to a lot of poly people, even though I’m monogamous myself, and you’d be surprised about the rules and how respectful they are of the others feelings. Plus, most would not even enter a monogamous relationship because they know they’d want more than the other person could give. I would act super cool about it and mention that you will be dating as well and see how fast it changes lol
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I’d walk. . You say yes it’ll destroy you. Say no well then your going to make someone a sneaky liar. Wich will also destroy you .
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It has to be something you’re 100% plus into also or it will cause problems, lots of marriages work this way and lots don’t and I think the ones that don’t is always because one wasn’t completely in agreement
I would sit down and have rules if you are want to walk through that door. I would start slow and see how it goes. It’s not for everyone. Also after having the rules, meet the girl so all 3 of you can be on the same page. Keep in mind to be honest how you feel and how he acts tells you what you need to do next. Best of luck
I feel like you both need to be ENTHUSIASTICALLY on the same page for this to even hope to work.
Personally, I don’t like sharing my Doritos. I’m sure as hell not going to share the man I’m with.
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Ummm what? Lol so he just randomly asks you if you want to be in a poly relationship? No discussion beforehand? Girl I’m sorry, but he’s just trying to get the ok to cheat, and you are gonna be the one hurt in the long run. You shouldn’t do this just because you “are afraid of losing him”, you’ve already lost him. You should find someone who loves you for you and not interested in other woman.
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Why wasn’t this something he brought up before marriage? I dunno, I’m getting some red flags. Sounds to me like he just wants to have his cake and eat it too, I’d
personally never put up with not being someones one and only so if my husband came to me after 5 years of marriage it would end in divorce.
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I feel that’s completely up to you and your preference. While I’m glad he was honest this is 5 years into a marriage so that’s a bit odd. How are u going to feel seeing him be with someone else, especially since it will be new so he will most likely spend far more time in the newness. Think about what u want before making any choices, don’t do something to just please him.
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Would say no personally z
He’s asking to cheat… that’s not poly
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Be honest about your concerns im not poly and could never be poly but my friends that are have told me that boundaries are important. Everyone needs to be in agreement. 100%
I feel like that’s a set up for failure. You don’t bring someone else into your relationship or marriage. It’s your life. Your choice. But I’m old school I believe in just you and your spouse. Good luck.
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If you do it set boundaries however I can honestly say I have seen marriages turn into divorce because they thought they could handle it but couldn’t. You are taking a huge risk and it could go either way.
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Say good bye to your marriage and husband
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You already lost him, if he “likes another girl” and wants to start a relationship with her.
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He wants to be able to cheat and get away with it. Lol. if you’re even considering this, you don’t love your husband either
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If you have concerns, voice them to your husband. Lay our boundaries for the both of you. Being poly comes with ALOT to unpack, so if you’re already having insecure/jealous feelings, I would suggest speaking to a couples therapist together to get some tips and tools how to have an ethically non-monogamous relationship. It is not as scary as people like you to believe, it will only ‘ruin’ what you guys already have if you both allow it to, if there isn’t clear communication on both ends.
Read some poly books together, there are loads out there to help you both traverse this new part of your relationship dynamic.
Being poly is not an end all, be all to a marriage.
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Hes just wants his cake and eat it without grief from you otherwise thisbwould have been discussed years ago. Saying that its all depends if you really want to share your ma and if you can also see yourself seeing other people too so its not just one sided x
You wouldn’t mind it because HE wants to, or you wouldn’t mind it because YOU want to? That’s what I’d be asking myself first. Idk how you can possibly as a human show the same exact affection towards two people on that level. In my opinion humans are programmed that way and will always end up closer to one person than the other on some level wether it be mild or very strong. I feel I would have to be very good at mental and emotional detachment in order to persue something like this in my marriage. But that’s just me. To each their own. Just don’t make a decision like this solely bc you want to please your husband. I fear it would not end in your favor. Goodluck!
There’s a difference between being Poly and using it as a reason to sleep with other people. Do you research. Lots of talk and communication.
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Lady send that hoe on his way perverted
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I would utilize therapy to make sure this works put that yall communicate properly ect.
Lots of people here clearly have never seen a successful poly relationship, I know several.
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Divorce if my husband ever even brought that up to me. He’s probably going to do it behind your back if you tell him no. You need to get out of there !!!
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Have some respect for yourself and don’t allow yourself to be treated like trash!
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Poly relationships don’t just happen. If he already found another woman he is interested in before even communicating the idea of being poly, then I feel like that’s a serious issue. It would destroy me if my man put me in a spot like that. I would leave. You have feelings for someone else? Then go discuss being poly with her, because it’s an absolutely not from me. Again, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Know your worth.
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I’d be like not a chance and how r u spicing things up if he as another partner unless it’s a three some
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If you’re only doing it because he wants to do it, you probably shouldn’t do it.
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Just go file for a divorce now. Let him go. He obviously already has intentions on being with this other woman rather you like it or not.
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Honestly, he came at it wrong. Don’t like that he already had feelings. I feel personally, if you did the same, that he wouldn’t like it.
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To each his/her own. As for me, I don’t want sloppy seconds nor sharing the merchandise.
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Mug 
you’ve already lost him…
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My husband and I have been married 7 years and that’s personally the last way either of us would look at for spicing up our relationship. Since this is something that wasn’t discussed in the beginning of y’all’s relationship I don’t see this as a sincere way to “spice” up y’all’s relationship. This is just him wanted to boink other chicks and you deserve better than that. Points for honesty though? I guess.
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Why get married and ruin the sanctity of marriage. What a waste
I love how much toxic monogamy is on here.
He communicated his feelings. He communicated his intentions. The next step is a talk about what you want and don’t want. Maybe a therapist who is well versed in polyamory. Those feelings if “maybe he will leave me” don’t really go away.
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Wtffff this is nuts. There are a million other ways to “spice” up a relationship. He just wants to sleep with other people 
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That’s something you really need to talk about at length first and discuss boundaries and “rules” you need time to process also. You sound unsure you would both need to be 100% on the same page and I don’t think you are yet. I am not poly but a have a friend that is and seriously this needs thinking through. Or it could ruin everything for you. I think he went about this the wrong way. Personally for me it wouldn’t work some people it does but I just couldn’t share my person. I think you two really need to talk.
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Do it if you’re comfortable. Get her tested and explain the terms of your poly relationship. However, if you happen to find a man in the future, same rules apply. Again, if you’re comfortable and trust your partner, it could be something special. If it turns out differently, you’d have to accept and move onto a better life. Either way you win if you are in an emotionally stable place to handle it. Good luck sis 
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Since you’re married to him he is committing adultery as stated in God’s word. And that’s not okay. Adultery is a sin.
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Leave him. He wants his cake and eat it to.
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If this is something you think you can feel comfortable and safe with. I would also ask him if it’s okay for you to see other men and see how he reacts. If he reacts badly, then I would say this is a red flsg, however if he’s okay with it and talks to you, I would say meet the girl next. If you 2 clash, you won’t be comfortable
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I would find a poly group or other people who are poly/in multiple relationships and ask them.
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Nope not a cold day in hell.
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I’m sorry but from my understanding is that poly relationship don’t just happen. It’s a mutual choice that both parties make.
What it sounds like
Is that your husband is using a “Poly relationship “ as a way to cheat but have his cake and eat it too.
Honey, have some dignity and self respect and leave him. You NEVER do anything in a relationship unless you are 100% comfortable with doing it.
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Omg run as fast as you can
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You will get much more attention than him & he will regret it. It’s an old story boo.
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So what if your not comfortable with it? Will he be 
about not straying anyway? Do your feelings really truly matter? That would be my concern from jump.
This isn’t how one spices things up. First of all it’s a clear indicator you’re not for a poly life because you sound completely monogamous while he pursues someone else. A poly lifestyle is about trust and honesty and everyone in the relationship is very open and it gets harder with the more people in the relationship. And if you’re OK with being in a relationship with multiple people all of those people need to be made aware their relationship with YOU. Yes you. When in a poly relationship they aren’t just in a relationship with him, they’re also in a relationship with you. So you need to be truthful with yourself. Is that what you want? If you like the idea then go for it but this is a girl HE is interested in. What happens when you are interested in someone else and or become interested with this girl? Normal poly people don’t tell you there’s a specific person they want in your relationship. They are usually straight forward about liking and having multiples in the relationship without a love interest in mind. I feel like he’s taking advantage of the poly world and using it as a scape goat and to rope you into his bull.
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He wants his cake and to eat it too.
Using poly as an excuse to have an affair unfortunately 
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when you take those vows it is supposed to be a lifetime commitment to each other. If you go this route your commitment to each other is lost.
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Tell him it’s fine you know a guy you’re really into also and would like to pursue it further also. See what he thinks about that. If he’s against it then he’s just wanting a side chick or a divorce.
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Being poly is a very serious thing. You need to set boundaries that must be followed by both of you. He needs to also understand that anything he is allowed to you do, that you are as well. Also ask yourself if it is something that YOU want or if you’re only okay with it because it’s what HE wants. Good luck to you!!
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You’ve been married 5 years and want to spice things up … um why even get married then, that’s odd to me. If my husband asked me this, he wouldn’t be My husband anymore. I would feel like I’m not enough for my husband period especially if he had to ask for a poly relationship… If you do this, know they’ll be having sex and he will catch feelings for her. I hope you go out there and fine someone else too 
maybe that guy will only want you.
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My husband and I split after trying poly. One sided. Wait till you get a boyfriend and shit isn’t the way your husband wants.
Expect to be divorced in a year or two. You should be ok with that because right now adding someone to a marriage that is being broken down is not going to “spice” things up. It is going to bring them down from a path you can’t retreat on.
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As long as there’s LOTS of communication, and he does well balancing you 2 it’ll be fine. You may even make a new friend! Don’t let people scare you away from it. Your husband would have to be insane to let this end in you being single. You’ve given him quite a special gift not everyone can give. If he’s smart he’ll treat you extra well and make sure YOU aren’t the one leaving.
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I’d leave him. 
I know people that have tried it, and lost their spouse because they just used it as am excuse to cheat. The second my husband would look at me and say he has feelings for another woman, is the day I look at him and say he can have her, and walk away. Chances are, if you tell him no, he’ll act on it anyway. Otherwise he wouldn’t tell you he had feelings for her.
I am happy he was up front about it now tho. Like hey I think I like this chick. But. 1. You don’t know if anything has already happened. And 2. You don’t know if anything will when you tell him no.
Good luck
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Sounds like an excuse
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Wrong way to spice things up….I’d spice things up by kicking his ass out. But that’s just me. 
Not a good idea. You can expect that he will (1) leave (2) give you an std (3) not limit himself to the girl at work. Marriage involves a degree of respect that he is taking away from you. Why would you even think for a minute that it’s ok?
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Tell him next time yu want a guy …let see him 
unless:flushed:
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He will always want more
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You should expect to be divorced eventually. I’ve know several couples who’ve tried this lifestyle. I’ve only seen one whose marriage has survived it.
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I know someone that this happened to … & he left his wife for the new girlfriend …. Trust your gut
Do it with him then! (I mean WITH the girl at work) Annnddd you have to be able to do the same back. Get out there then girl.
I’d be gone the second that question came up. Sounds like an excuse. Is no one ok with being with just one person for the rest of their life anymore? I don’t understand.
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So basically he wants to date while keeping u on the side. No go from me ghost rider.
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Ok so even if you aren’t interested in another man or woman, say to him " I’m so glad you suggested this. I’ve had my eye on so and so. So I guess I’ll pursue he or she as well. If he has a problem then he just wants to have his cake and ice cream and I’d shut it down real quick 
Relationships are hard enough without adding this dynamic into it. Look at the long term implications and go from there. Not only do you open up your relationship to outside influences and insecurities you also open it up to what ifs… What if he gets another woman pregnant? What if you start a family? How will all of these dynamics play together? 1 out of 2 marriages fail as it is. Almost every relationship I have seen that has had multiple partners involved has been a failure in the end. Maybe not right away but eventually one or the other becomes happier or more fulfilled by someone else, or just realized that they don’t want the life anymore and want a more secure foundation. Honestly if you are not good enough for him now on your own you should move on and find someone else who thinks you are more than enough just as you are. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve in life. He’s got one foot out the door on your marriage already. It’s just a matter of time before they are both out the door.
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Nope. I dont share. …and if you need to ask its not for you either.
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