Hello Everyone,
My husband and I are on the outs right now and I need some advice.
So my husband and I decided it was time to have a baby, probably not the best decision we made because a few months before this I was on my way out of the relationship. We moved away and things started getting better. I found out I was pregnant months later. First sign was how sick I was getting and not being able to explain the constant nausea. The first month 1/2 of my pregnancy I was so sick, throwing up at least 3 times a day. I couldn’t do much work around the house without becoming sick so I laid in bed A LOT! Wasn’t able to do my office work and what I was able to do was very little. I felt horrible because my husband had to pick up my slack. He was going to work coming home and cleaning the messy house. When we would go get food I would barely eat and this started to really upset him.
Well one day he came home and was yelling and said he was sick of picking up after me and the rest of the kids. I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him completely at a lost for words! Then I proceeded to remind him that I have been doing this for 5 1/2 years while working full time jobs and going to school as a full time student….and he can’t even take it for a month 1/2! I was sick and with HIS baby!
So now we are at my 1st doctors appointment and he tells the doctor that I just lay around all day. Need I remind you I was at this appointment to also discuss if there was anything we could do for the sickness. The doctor looked at him and said “ it must be hard to understand we’re she’s coming from since she is the one carrying a growing human”. She gave me a few different things to try and said if that didn’t work we would have to go to prescription meds. I lost over 5 pounds and couldn’t keep up my weight and they were getting concerned. (Men really don’t understand I swear.)
Then a couple days ago I get a call from someone saying that he was talking to them about how I was being lazy and I didn’t want to do anything and he was frustrated about it. I’m so annoyed that he classified me and being sick as just being lazy! So I’ve been forcing my self to get things done and not complaining about feeling sick or throwing up because I don’t want him talking about me like that. I thought he was going to be my support system through this and it was heart breaking to know he just saw me as being lazy. My freaking dogs are more supportive than he has been, anytime I’m in the bathroom throwing up they are right there laying next to me.
I haven’t talked to him about this and have shut him out the last couple of days over it. We are both really snappy when he’s around. I don’t want to bring up what was said because I know it’s true… he’s said it to me many times, but why do you need to go around and say that to other people. It would just be nice to get other peoples prospective because I want to understand his side too. I don’t want it to be “it’s just how I feel and that’s all that matters” kind of thing. I really want to see it from his side too.