My husband cannot keep a job for more than 6 months. What should I do?

He doesn’t want to work. Leave him.

He’s using you…leave.

He could have a mental illness

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It WILL BE a huge fight because he has zero intention of working. Ditch him.

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I use to have this problem , due to mental health issues and my health wasn’t good. I wouldn’t judge him , he maybe feeling bad with himself already

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He’s either gotten lazy or he actually has injuries that make it hard for him to do the same kind of work he’s used to. What would you do without him, does he really offer nothing to your family or is there support in the home, you need to have this conversation with him.

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If your not willing to talk to him regardless the fight or not, it must not be that important to talk about it… yall been together a while so if yall can’t talk and even argue for something really really important than if I were you walk away.

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Start saving money and get mentally prepared to move on. You don’t want to live like this forever.

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I’d pick the fight. Clearly he doesn’t want to work and because you make well, he doesn’t fee he’s has to. Start the conversation. Stand your ground when the fight breaks out and lay clear boundaries. Either he wants to be in the relationship and go to work or he wants to freeload and he can be on his own. Bye boy

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Find out why he’s not keeping the jobs. It could be depression or some other issue. I went through this and it wasn’t because I didn’t want to work. It was because I was depressed and the jobs added to my misery.

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Maybe try helping get a job he ENJOYS something he can excel and do good in. NO ONE likes doing things they really don’t want to do. Motivate him and see what he wants to do… Work wise.

Lazy bums r a big turn off

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Kick him out it sounds like you really don’t need him around anyway

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If it were MY situation, I would flat out tell him, get a job, keep your job or we are done! That’s ridiculous and he sounds lazy.

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He either needs mental health for possible depression? Or he’s just not motivated to work. Talk to him about how you feel and she where his heads at… see where your path together takes you based of a level headed conversation

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Tell him to grow up and keep a job!!

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He’s your husband, is this the only issue? Support him and help him find something he loves doing. My husband lost a great job a few years back and totally lost himself with what he wanted to do for work. So I stepped up and went to work full time. It took awhile, but he eventually found something he enjoys doing now and things are back on track. The vows are “for better or worse, for richer or poorer” instead of leaving him like everyone else always suggests, seek counseling.

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Sounds like depression and possibly other surrounding issues I would suggest a doctor evaluation and if issues are found file for disability if its causing him to shut down

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Unfortunately he was a bum when you met him. He won’t change now hun. Time to move on.

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How old is he sometimes ppl take longer to become responsible, granted that’s something that should have been discussed prior to having children. Or in your case breaking ground on a new home 😵‍💫 sounds like he’s working the system.:smirk:

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If you are not willing to talk and fight through this…its not important to you and seems like you gave up already…marriage is hard, it takes lots of work. If he isnt willing to work on it then you have your answer…but he was that way from the start and hasnt changed, doubt he will.

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This is what happens when you marry a bum. Now if you leave, you’ll have to buy him out of the house or sell and he gets half. What a con man

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You have lost respect for him and it’s hard to love someone you don’t respect. Tell him the truth how you feel and give him an option.

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It sounds like he is struggling with his mental health. Please try and get him some help before u leave

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Some of u ladies are just flat out harsh!!! Really, u don’t just straight say that he’s a bum! Do u perhaps know that personally?? There could be many other reasons why this happens. It could be anxiety, depression, or some other psychological problem. It could even have something to do with his health. It could be many other things. And only if she sits down and talk to him, or he or both of them goes to see someone then they can find out. Perhaps he just needs a boost in confidence and support, and find out what will be good for him. Calling the man out as a bum, u ladies are brutal!!

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I’m praying for you. This is hard. If you love him and want more things to work out talk to him but if you are just done then you need to just move on. He obviously doesn’t care whether he supports his family or not

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Seems to me that when he wants a Break from working he finds a way to get injured so at least he is getting workman comp. There are other jobs he could do while getting workers comp tho in mid cases and he would have two incomes for a while. I

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Sounds like my daughters dick head thing she’s married to

you got a chia pet. tbh it’s rough for you bc he could get alimony like forever. I would consult a lawyer. The house is half his etc etc

He is using the system deliberately to work as little as possible. :disappointed:

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Did you think getting married would give him better work ethic? You knew who you were marrying, why are you acting like it’s a problem now?

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Even if it causes a fight, communication is important.
Sometimes you have to work through the harsh words and really listen to each other, instead of taking things so personal. Maybe theres a reason he has a hard time holding down a job for more than 6 months and he just doesnt know how to communicate that to you because youve been getting frustrated (understandably) and not really asking him whats going on with him.
Personally i would start out with “we may end up fighting about this but id rather have the fight and be open with my concerns than just ignore it and get to the point where i dont care at all” and then i would say exactly what you said here, but TO him.

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Depends why he is not keeping his job ? If he is just lazy and not showing up on time then that’s a big problem you need to sort out now. If it’s his mental health and he is struggling then it’s even a bigger problem and you both need to see someone and sort out what’s going on. Just think about if you were in his shoes, if you just up and left that would be a pretty shitty thing to do

How is he able to stay on worker’s compensation for so long??

I think you were ignoring the red flags, and now you can’t hand them anymore. There’s no way around this. Be upfront with him. He needs to work or you need to leave.

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My last husband and I were together 18 years married 3 he had over 23 jobs in that time I supported our family until I had brain tumor then went back to work and he started his crap up again then I had a stroke and the doctor wouldn’t release me and he had no choice but to step up
So he found someone with more money and left me good luck

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CAUSE THE HUGE FIGHT! Stomp your feet and tell the fukker to step up or step out. Has he EVER has a consistent job? Seems like a pattern. Ask him nicely and he won’t get the point

Sometimes HEALTH can really be damaging and effect someone in a negative way where they just can’t do something that they really want to do and are trying to do. It seems to me like he is trying bc even after leaving a job, he still tries at another. Maybe something is going on with his health that you dont know about and he is either scared or embarrassed to share. Cut him some slack and TALK to him first to see whats going on. You guys took a vow. He could really be struggling but instead you are thinking about your own feelings.

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Dear heavenly Father this couple needs Your help. Amen

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U know it’s gonna end up in a fight get anyway … if ur not in love with him … kick his ass to the curb…

Your future is determined mostly by the spouse you choose. If you do not like the look of the future with this man….leave him now. Don’t waste anymore time being unhappy. Go find YOU!

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Are you never happy and never pleased? Should you not be happy that he is employed and trying?
Honestly break up with him so he can move on and find someone who appreciates him! You on the other hand sound like you need a reality check!

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You want a husband, not a project. Men should ideally be the providers. Cut your losses and move on.

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Hes using YOU. Hes using THE SYSTEM. He is using anyone or anything but HIMSELF. THAT IS NOT A MAN.

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Just be honest with him and make sure you take care of the finances and your money. If he wants something tell him to save or get a job and keep it! How does someone keep getting worker’s compensation

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Just lay it all out there.

Maybe help him find a job he likes

Liz
Mary K, is that you?:rofl::rofl:

Bad mistake getting in relationship with a man who is not working regardless of the reason why, then you began building a life with him You have to have high standards in the beginning He got in relationship being unemployed married, unemployed ,built home unemployed it not likely he will change now

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Discuss with him his goals for finding the job he wants and wants to keep so he isn’t unstable financially. A long term plan needs to be discussed.

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I would seperate till he can get a steady job

Sit down and get a written agreement.
It may be that your job is enabling him to think he does not have to work.
Write it out - he needs to see FACTS!

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Take your kids and go, he is all he is ever going to be. You deserve better :heart:

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Should have gotten to know him before you married him, two years isn’t long enough to know someone. That is still the honeymoon period and you can’t see the red flags through rose tinted specs.

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This is what this man will be for the rest of his live. Let that sink in and then work out if you want to try and help him change (he won’t) or move on and be on your own.
I would much rather be on my own than dealing with that crap.

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Have a come to Jesus, talk with him, and ask him why is it that he cannot keep a job. Tell him that you cannot keep going like this. You have no security, nor is he pulling his weight either. See how he reacts and responds. And if he’s in denial and makes excuses, that should be a snapshot of your future. You’re going to have to carry the family. Pray about this and ask God for wisdom. He knows what is best for you.

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First off just because he’s a man doesn’t mean that he should be the bread winner or the main provider. Secondly if you aren’t happy with how things are going just tell him and y’all split

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Ok ladies, we can’t have a double standard…some women stop working as soon as they get married and expect " the man" to support us,while we pop out a couple of beautiful Littles and be Stay at home moms. I’m not saying that it’s right for him to stay home or that he can’t maintain a job longer than 6 months…but maybe he is going through mental health issues ( depression, anxiety, so on and so forth) and needs to seek medical evaluation. Who knows the actual backstory. Some people just have a lazy mentality and never grow out of it. But to better his situation maybe tell him since he can’t hold down a job longer than 6 months because of pain or injuries then maybe go back to school for something that requires less hard labor.

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I personally couldn’t be with a man that won’t work.

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Sounds like an “ex-brother” in-law. Sorry but doubtful he will change

Unfortunately you have permitted this behavior. You met him while he was “unemployed” and married him knowing he couldn’t hold a job. You are not his Mom, it’s not your responsibility to support a able bodied individual ….arguments happen when people get defensive. I’d be questioning why he’s defensive and what needs to be done for him to work (I.e health, mentally, etc).

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L A Z Y, and why should he work if you gonna support him AND his kids??? Hell to the naw!

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He always has income some way or another right ?

Sell the house your over your head he’s not changing

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Wow. The amount of judgmental women on this post is absolutely disgusting. It really reminds me why I have such little faith in humanity :grimacing:

For your question- I dated a guy who was like this. No job lasted long, he would take his sweet time before finding a new one, find a new one, and then repeat the cycle. He is also bipolar and manic depressive. When taking his meds, he’d do well in basically all aspects of life, including work. But when he stopped taking his meds, everything fell apart. It got to the point where he refused to take any of his medications for a long period of time, and our relationship/his life totally fell apart…he ended up in jail for domestic abuse, and then breaking a restraining order. He’s still in jail. My point is; many peoples lives are unmanageable/become unmanageable when they have undiagnosed mental health issues and need meds, or have issues and won’t take their medications. Hoping that this will put a different light on your opinion, besides what all these other women are filling your head with without even seeing if there’s a genuine reason/resolution to this behavior. Good luck and happy holidays!

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This is a sit down and talk moment. Is he at least doing stay at home parent duties, or are you taking care of the kids, cooking,shopping and keeping house too? If he’s going to be home he should be lightening your load at home.

If he’s being taken care of both financially and physically by you, you didn’t marry a man, you adopted an overgrown man child.

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The Bible says. If a man does not work Neither shall he eat. He would work or He certainly would not put his feet under my table nor hang his pants on my bedpost! Just saying!!!

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I do think it is a bad idea on your part to think having a family and building a house is a big enough motivator to change his behavior. You can’t just assume someone will want something as bad as you do. There are too many people that believe things will just come to them, they don’t have to work hard for anything because for one reason or another they’ve never truly struggled. Whether it be the system, family, WC…etc.
Truthful answers require HARD questions. Ask him straight out “Do you ever see yourself consistently helping financially on your end?” Tell him you feel to much pressure on your end and it is putting a damper on the way you feel about him. Explain what you need from him and tell him where you see your marriage going if things don’t change. If he’s pissed off, I hate to say it, but he simply doesn’t care. Could you really live a happy life with someone like that? You have to decide for yourself…
However, it’s always possible he could step it up because he sincerely cares about you and your Marriage. You never know, but you have to speak up

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Sorry you have to go though this,it’s sound like he was like this before you meet him !I would have a talk with him to tell him he needs a full time job more then6 months out of the year
He seams to be lazy!(but hey he didn’t work when you met him!)

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He don’t care because he knows you have a good job

“a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me”

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If he is still helping support you and your family, then it is okay to switch jobs. Hopefully he doesn’t quit 1 before he gets another unless he’s getting unemployment. Be patient with him as some people have more trouble with this then others. Im 35 and longest job I’ve been at is 2.5 years… But I’m always finding a way to support my family too, so if he is doing that you’re good but if not then say that vs being nice and looking for an excuse to end a relationship that you obviously want too… Just do it. Sad how many people put $ above everything

If he’s been getting workers compensation on and off does that mean that he’s been injured at least twice at work? Maybe the issue is that he needs to change the type of work he does, then he might stay longer in the jobs he gets… Build his confidence up, support him looking into other areas that will suit his skills… If injury is the on going issue.

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You stay with him your headed for heart ache and disappointed . get rid of him

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Never have put up with it in the 1st go round

He might need therapy love. My husband is bipolar and hasn’t been able to work consistently. Have him checked out

Elias wow who does this remind you of :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Young one - 4pillars of a relationship- trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty. Communication is how these are reinforced. You can not change someone’s else behavior- only they can . Just as you can not force love and respect- I suggest you reevaluate what you want, and need. Talk with him - if he won’t take the time to figure this out- then move on. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks - and you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink. Sounds like you deserve so much better.

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Honestly he could be getting bored with the jobs. I get bored with jobs easily. I am just now finding my passion at 26 and its with something I never expected to enjoy so much. Is he lazy? Does he do housework etc? Do you think he truly just does not want to work?

Leave. He is a waste and you are wasting your time

Therapist works wonders and dont hold back

2 long term workers comp claims… do I have to say more…