My husband cheated on me with his ex girlfriend: Advice?

I’ve been married to my husband for nine years. We have three kids together. Last year in May, he told me that he has another daughter with his ex GF, and she hid their daughter from him for 11 years. Until she asked her mother who her father was, then she found him on social media. He was very shocked, and I was too, I was a bit hurt and upset. Weeks went by, and I started to accept it, and after a couple of months went by, I knew he was messing around by the way he was acting. He would hide his phone from me, and he started not to come home (he works 6 hours away). He uses to come home every weekend… and he’s out working in the same town that she lives in. So one day, he told me that he was having an affair and that he cheated on me with his daughter’s mom. I was so upset and so so hurt, I cried for days and weeks. I am asking myself why or what did I do wrong. He apologized and swore that it was all over between them. As of today, I found out that they’re still talking and seeing each other. What hurts more is he used our family savings on her, by taking her out and traveling with her. He says he wants to work things out with me and then when we do… I find out he’s lying to me, and he’s still messing around with her.

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Leeeavveeeeee!!! Take the kids and leave!

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Kick that thing to the curb. Now. Nothing is going to change

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Leave for good !!!

So leave him now because clearly he has shown you he can’t be trusted and his word means nothing

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None of this is your fault. Get rid of him.

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What’s the question? He already moved on.

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Not a chance in hell. Run and RUN now. A leopard doesn’t change it’s spots.

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I would get a good attorney and file for divorce…

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Leave it never changes it is only going to get worse from personal experience I felt with this for 13 years and finally had the courage to leave you owe it to your self to be happy and you deserve to find someone who loves you and treats you with respect

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Kick him out and get child support for your kids.

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Kick him out and file for divorce.

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So sorry your going threw this. But why ask that question on what to do??
Yes it will hurt bad but value yourself and you children. Tell him to leave !

Forgive once, twice e no way, let her have him

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As a married woman, I definitely would never forgive cheating.

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Get rid of the loser.

Kick him to the curb

Momma he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too! Leave! You deserve better! He’s not going to leave you for her and he’s not gonna leave her for you. He wants “best of both worlds”

If he’s drained your guys savings just imagine how much further he will go by putting YOU in to debt for HER. Leave now before it gets worse :heart:

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Leave. You can do it. Be strong.

Leave him it gonna hurt but worth it at the end once a cheater always a cheater till they realize what they done wrong

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Wow… I am so sorry. I would never be willing to try and work things out with him.

It really sounds like you and your kids are not his priority😔 I am a religious woman and normally wouldn’t suggest a divorce, however if he said he’d stop and then you caught him at it again you need to have more respect for yourself and children you don’t deserve to be treated that way. As for you savings…don’t worry. You’re still entitled to half of that.

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Leave. He needs u for finances and stability… I know a man like this. He will never leave his wife. But he will also never stop cheating. You’re so much better than this. Stop allowing him to cheat on you.
Cut him off the account hes using.

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Sounds like you already know you need to leave

I personally would leave his ass.

Time to go dear. He’s not going to change. Call an attorney , and get proceedings started. He shouldn’t have any issue moving since he stays away part of the time anyway.

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That girl is stupid to know hes married and cheating on his wife with her lol…what makes her think shes any different??? Hell get sick of her and come running back to you…been there done this for many years…it never changes…once a cheater always a cheater r the truest words i ever heard. Leave him and find the courage to not go back to him. U deserve better…we all do. And until each of us find a man or woman that wont stray…keep looking until u find that person…apparently there out there. Ive yet to find him but maybe one day lol:) stay strong

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Once a cheater, always a cheater… move on

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You know what you need to do ur just asking for confirmation. Leave dummy.

Yeah, he wants her…he can have her. Married for 9 years and he can’t be faithful? What a pig.

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There is no question here for me. This is not a relationship you want to be part of, you deserve better, and you know it.

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Fuck that. He used your family savings on a tramp. Girl bye! He is a sack of shit. Why do you need Facebook validation to do what you already know you need to do??

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Please run away from him. You would just be more and more hurt by his lies. Leave everything in god hands and run away with your kids

Leave, put any left over money and in coming money into a new account that only YOU can get to, separate every cent you have from his and leave. Divorce him and be done with it

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You know what to do deep down.

Was there a paternity test done?

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Please leave him. Don’t continue to allow him to hurt you and your kids. He will never change his behavior and you will not have a penny left with him

Leave…he doesn’t deserve you, you deserve better and he will continue to do this he will not stop.

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This is a no brainer!! WTH so sad she’s letting herself be played.

It’s just dumb to stay with a man that steps out of his marriage. Not only that, he’s having unprotected sex with this woman, which is nasty. Plus, he’s taking money from your household and spending it on her.

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Leave him! I know it hurts but it will save you loads of heartache later. The trust is gone and truth be told he will do it again. Muster up the strength and leave him. You’ll be happy you did.

Tell him he has made his choice and ask him to leave. Then file for divorce. You deserve someone who puts you first xxx

Leave girl… he’s never going to stop! This woman will always be apart of his life through their daughter! You deserve better!

Time to leave. He will keep cheating if he is continuing to sneak around behind your back.

Been there my husband cheated on me with 2 girls when I was pregnant with our second son. Swear to me he was never do it again. One girl apologized to me and said she felt like idiot she had no clue. The other girl​:roll_eyes:, young 18yr old childish. And I was ready to kill her. But I wasnt miscarrying bc of her (I was 5 weeks when I found out) long story short he still, lied and cheated with the 18yr old until our son was about 10 days old. I felt like an idiot. Don’t go thru the hurt and pain I went thru. Prayers and love :heart:

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File for divorce and make him pay $$ dearly. If it were me, he would look like a plucked chicken. No woman deserves to be treated that way. Either piss or get off the pot. He sounds like he’s a politician, talking out both sides of his mouth.

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You know what you need to do leave or keep his ass out of the home close saving and checking accounts open another with just your name take him for child support medical insurance hit him were it hurts you and your children don’t need him

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If you guys have anymore money together in savings or anything. Take that shit out and hide it.
I check my accounts daily online.

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Save as much proof of the cheating as you can and take it to a divorce lawyer. Chances are he’s telling her the same (that it’s over between you & him). Leave him and get as much child support as you legally can. You will be ok. You will find someone that’s not a cheating piece of shit.

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Leave. I don’t know why people even have to ask this :woman_facepalming:t4:

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I’m not sure what the question is? If he is still lying and cheating then leave him and let him have her to lie to and cheat on.

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Ask yourself do you want to continue to be lied to and cheated on if so stay if not leave

Oh no hunny let her have him. Keep your proof so in divorce court it goes in your favor.

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Unfortunately if you need to even ask you already know…its time to let him go.

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Girl keep your proof and run

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Bless your heart… you deserve so much more , it’s his loss. Be the great momma you are and just tell him he can stay with her , idk why anyone cheats, I have been done wrong as many others. Stay strong girl you’re worth so much more that he obviously is an idiot that he is blind!!!

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That’s so sad!! Hes not a very nice person you deserve so much better

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Leave him !!! Have an affair too first.

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What’s the question?

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Take his ass to the cleaners . See if she still wants him when he’s broke af . You will be fine you don’t know what you’re made of until push comes to shove . So leave quietly like get the money and your stuff in order then put it to him . Actually If he is out of town just change the locks unless you want to leave either way just make his life as hard and miserable as you can until it’s all completely done and settled. Most importantly don’t forget to remind yourself he did this to him not you .

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It is so quick for everyone to say leave file for divorce! But it’s not them! Let me say I been with my kids father we have 3 kids and been together for 14years he done cheated and made 3 babies outside of me and I was crush I was hurt I felt empty lost! Are we good now nope don’t trust him as far as I can throw him… my advise is to fall back from him let him show u action speaks louder then words! Let him know u want to keep this marriage then prove it! If he keeps up the same bull leave and don’t tell him your leaving keep talking to him on phone when he call and when he comes home he gonna come home to a empty house!! Your strong you got this! You can fight for your family! Please don’t be a fool like me!

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My boyfriend would never say take a man for everything he has but in this circumstances he totally said he would divorce that guys ass and take him for child support and do what you need to do. Thats disrespectful and fucking wrong. In this situation u did nothing wrong and he is a jerk off.

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If you are married to him I would filed for divorce and ask for child support and spousal support and ask that he give you half of what he spend on them because it was half your money! And honey take the car and the house and even his clothes! Let him start over!

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Close the bank account befor him and pack his shit !

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take him to the cleaners you can do better. I’ve been there didn’t take him for anything. I surely should have

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Divorce. He’s obviously not going to stop talking to her.

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Better sign them papers.

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Dump hon in a heat beat

Fuck that shit what you do is plan and simple need to make him a nice hot bowl of grits and when you go and serve him you pour that shit in is lap.

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I am very sorry for you but you need to get out a s a P. And try not to look back its hard but the only way

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Divorce but let it sneak up on him. Get your affairs in order. Paperwork and stuff. Play all nice and cool and then bam let his ass come home to papers and an empty house 🤷

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You did absolutely nothing wrong! As a woman who’s went through being cheated on I can tell you we all think its something about ourselves at first. He made a choice to marry you and be with just you. His continual cheating is your answer that hes already chosen her over you and not just you but your babies. As hard as it will be for you and for them my advice is to divorce him and take your kids the longer you stay the more upset you’ll be you wont change his mind and you dont need to keep putting yourself through that.

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GIRL LEAVE!!! Stop blaming yourself for what he’s done! It’s not your fault he stepped out. It’s not your fault he’s lying. Clearly he’s not serious about fixing his mistakes because they keep happening. They keep happening because he knows you’re not going anywhere regardless of how awful he treats you and your family! Leave and make him pay financially!! You deserve better and though you don’t see it atm, and I understand why, there’s someone out there who will treat you the way you deserve :purple_heart:

So sorry your going threw this. If I were in your place I will not let the other women win and I will fight to get my husband back, and makes her life miserable. Fight for your rights, first put your saving out of his hand so he can’t use it. second, see what is the difference between u & her that makes him run to this :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: take care of your self & your girls, be a fabulous person and ignore him as u don’t care. he will come back to u. Hope for u and your kids all the best​:bouquet:

He’s trying to have it all. Possibly because child support for 3 kids is expensive.
Please have respect for yourself. You deserve so much better. :cry:

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Get rid of him once a cheater always a cheater

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Set a better example for your children and divorce him, hold your head high, and carry on living your best life. It may not be tomorrow, but someday he will be reminded what he lost …a good woman, devoted mother to his children, and his children’s respect. Don’t waste time getting even…God will take care of you and him for that matter.

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Girl u need to go get divorce papers and custody of ur kids and child support ur better off

Once a cheater always a cheater. Leave!

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Once someone else has his attention you won’t have his attention anymore EVER and once he lies he’s gonna keep doing it because he’s going to think ur never gonna leave an always forgive him ( not trying to sound like a bitch ) so fuck him put him on child support and you do you. Yes at first it’s gonna be hard but trust me it’s gonna get easier an it’s going to be way better after words because it’s better to be alone then to be with bad company leave his ass and be happy with ur babys an ur self, once a cheater always always a cheater

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I would leave trust has been broken I mean clearly you gave him a chance the first time . If he was serious it wouldn’t have happened again or continued to happen . You will get child support and he can have his ex baby mama there will be a guy who treats you right and respects you . Your husband is not him .

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Let him have his cake, and run for the hills. You and YOUR kids deserve better and you need to show him you’re absolutely fine without him. He will continue to go back to both of you until one of you women puts a stop to it

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Say baby ,bye bye bye, so long loser. That’s what you say!!!

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I swear women give the worst advice. “Don’t take his kids from him, or take him to the cleaners”. Just leave, split custody of the children 50/50 & leave get a divorce & start over. No revenge just be happy & move on that will do more damage to his ego then you wallowing is sorrow & feeling sorry for yourself & being a scorned bitter ex wife. He doesn’t deserve you let him go & let him realize what he lost. Cry in the shower get out & hold your head up high.

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No… this is toxic don’t you and her kid’s deserve better

You had me searching for a knife At “he spent our family savings on her.” He stole from you and your kids. He cannot be trusted. Pls leave!

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Reread your last sentence.

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Girl I would slowly drain the bank accounts and put the cash somewhere it cannot be found. Then “sell” furniture and store that “sold” furniture somewhere it cannot be found. Then when you get divorced, he only gets half…of what he knows. Leave that mother trucker.

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Umm leave I just don’t understand why anyone would want to be treated like second best obviously he wants you and other women

  1. was there a paternity test done on this other child?
  2. try to end things as amicably as possible because he will be a part of your life until your children are 18.
  3. remember this has nothing to do with you. He made bad choices.
  4. stay strong for your babies and never say anything negative about him to them.

Good luck! I hope that you get back your best life! You deserve better than someone not being honest with you!

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Leave all the pieces on the floor, get out of there and move on.

Time to leave. He’s obviously not taking you or your relationship seriously. He doesn’t show true signs of wanting to stop.

Leave. Take the kids, the house, and all his money. Fuck. Him.

It’s time to put your foot down and say enough is enough… you did nothing wrong and you deserve so much better… tell him enjoy being with her cause you’re done and then wash your hands and walk away… you will find someone who will love you unconditionally and you wont have to worry about another woman on the side.

Wow, dump this giant piece of shit.

Leave him! He’s not gonna change! Remember the saying “ Fool me once shame on you, Fool me twice shame on me”

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I read your post and went on about my business but came back because it’s so upsetting… I tend to scroll on by something if I dont have something nice to say but I seriously hope you leave that sob. Why would you wanna be with him after he spent yalls savings on her? I mean why wouldn’t he spend some on you instead? If he was going to spend… so now I’m sure by him wanting to work things out with you, and since the savings are gone she wants nothing more to do with him now because the good times and money is gone. Dont be his second choice. Hes still lying to your face. Fuck him! He dont deserve another shot

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Dear Abby once said, “Ask yourself if you would be better off and happier with or without him.”

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Once someone cheats in a relationship the trust never fully comes back at all, it will forever be in the back of your mind if u stay. Be strong and just leave even if u have nothing make calls figure it out and make it happen on your own and you will be beyond proud of yourself at the end. Don’t let someone stick their thing in someone else then come home and do it to you. Think of it that way . If even if there was no sex don’t let him make out with her come home and then do it to you. There will be nothing but what ifs but understand you have lived a life without him and you can do it again and better and happier but it will take time. Just don’t let him get away with it because if he cheats again he’s just going to expect you to stay because he did it once and u stayed. Its him having his cake and eating it too.

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URGENT WORK THINGS OUT ASAP! Then start putting side money up and as soon as you have enough ride out like a pimp!!! Take everything… the light bulbs, the headlights on his car, I mean everything!!!

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