My husband comes home from work and plays video games: Advice?

This guy is just going to continue to “poo poo” your feelings.
He will label you as “crazy”, “dramatic” or “overreactive”
I doubt a conversation is going to change this man. It may, in fact leave you feeling even less understood and he might even twist it enough to make YOU feel like the bad guy for your needs.
These are very basic needs you have btw.
I dunno how to advise you to help you, but if he does everything I predicted, … >_<
Ick. Men like this often fail their children all their lives.

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he needs get off his ass help clean an cook. Help take care of the baby. I wouldnt even let him start his video game id be done caused a fight. That sucker coming out from the wall peices hidden. Lets start now. You are gonna be a father that means I help clean and cook an take care of your baby. You help dirty the dishes. You take a shower there you helped created the baby. Better do something. It’s not all on us moms to do everything. I’ll be damn if my husband thought I’d wash dishes by myself or do laundry or clean the bathroom or mop floors or anything by myself. I dont care who works. Your gonna help clean the house an cook. Or I won’t cook for you. I won’t do your laundry . I’m no man’s slave. He can help tend to his kids he help create them.

Put the baby in the crib/playpen while you shower,cook,clean etc.Cook dinner and have it ready around 5:30 to 6.He can reheat it when he gets home if he’s running late.And tell him calmly that he needs to spend time with his child.He can hold a baby,and play a game at the same time.Also get out of the house.It sounds like your stuck at home all the time.Find a friend to leave the baby with for a few hours to get out and have some me time.Then watch her child/ren for her to do the same.You need to have a conversation with him,before it gets worse,as you already have another baby on the way.And please consider not having another baby so soon after this one.3 kids would way over-whelm you.Plus it’s harmful to you health having to many babies close together.You may also look into play dates.Many libraries offer toddler reading times,look for stuff like that.Stay calm for your babies.

Well he works all day and needs to unwind. Put your baby in a crib or playpen and shower. If he cries for 15 or 20 minutes no biggie. If the kids fall asleep and my hubby is playing, I’ll go play with him. Idk…maybe that’s just me

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Love Dare book challange repeat
Fireproof Movie watch together
Ask for help tell him you need help
6-2 is not all day try 12-20 hour shifts and days not coming home at all, 6 days a week. Trust me it’s a struggle to balance work and family. His priority should be family.
Talk to him. Communication is key.
Come up with a scheduled when he gets home example: he watches baby you cook; you shower then he showers. Balance give and take. Talk about what each of you needs from the other.

Communication is important. I fly off the handle frequently, so I know how it is when you’re at the end of your rope. If you havent already, sit down and talk to him about why you were upset (apologize) and ask if you guys can come to some sort of agreement. He likely doesnt realize how stressed you are, and you cant know what kind of stress he is dealing with. He was likely trying to unwind just not realizing how upset you actually were. Good luck :slight_smile:

You both have a problem with communication. Many times men are raised to behave just how he is behaving. They don’t realize they are doing it because it’s how it’s always been. Communicate!

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Communication is key!
One can’t know there is a problem if it’s not talked about.

You need to put your foot down if it’s a birthday party both of you go or nobody goes there needs to be some sort of communication and rules if this cannot follow get rid of them

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The facts are, you can do all this without his help if he were not there you would but he is there he should want to be a part of the daily tasks of raising the kids or why keep having them ?? Every one needs down time but he should have a plan as I am sure you do abt his kids . Why do men for the most part have to be prompted to watch the kids or prep them for bed / bath ect… They should know the needs of thier children and take the lead , execute the plan . One important thing a mom can do is let them and let them do it they way they see fit , as long as it gets the job done but it seems moms are the plan makers for the kids and the dads just pitch in when thier games is over or on pause .

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Time for a come to jesus meeting for you and him. If no headway made time for the 2 of you to see a marriage counselor before baby number 2 comes.

My husband games too but i just put up a gate in the kitchen doorway and leave the kids on the other side with him and when i shower i just dump my younges in his lap. He will adjust. But you have to kind of make him. He does the same to me if he has to do something. Lol. We have 5 sp we have been at it awhile but honestly it takes time to build a routine and get in better habits of what abd when things should or could be done. The party thing was bs though. My husband will tell his work that if he is not bwing paid to be there or if his wife isnt invited he wouldnt be there.

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Tell him to get off his fucking ass or u will go to work full time and he can stay home…which he wont last a day…ur nicer than me because I would have thrown his game system out the door

Everyone saying 6-2 isn’t a full time job, yes it is. 8 hours. Just not the same hours you are used to, perhaps. Then on top of that flying lessons. He’s in a very high stress job. My ex was a air traffic controller and they are both very stressful jobs with lives depending on their every move. He may need some down time and mom sounds hormonal. Both valid responses to the life they chose. Mom needs to learn to be more independent. It’s not going to kill baby to be put in pack n play 15 minutes while she showers. Can also prep meals while baby’s napping. Both can pitch in to straighten up the house when baby’s put down for the night; keeping in mind Dad has to get up early to be at work at 6. Marriage and parenthood are lots of work.

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He called work & took the baby. I’d say your point was received! He could have said F you & left. Try to start over with him & say your sorry you cussed at him your just frustrated with the baby & could use more help. See what he says. Next thing find a trusted baby sitter & plan a night out with him. Don’t fault him for not planning dinners out with you if your not planning dinners out with him! You need to find ways to get things done while alone with the baby!!! If your not eating & not cleaning or anything else cuz you have 1 baby to look after what will you do when you have 2??? If you are getting overwhelmed communicate with him before your pissed! Try to find the right time to talk with him about things! Just cuz he dosent drop everything & give you or baby 100% attention dosent mean he dosent care!! Also try to have understanding of him! He worked all day & probably didn’t eat much either! Maybe he had a bad day? He now has to go back to being with work people very shortly. Maybe he needs to decompress a little bit. Maybe you could try to gate off the kitchen so baby can’t come in by you while you cook. Maybe plan ahead to have him watch the baby 1day a week & you do things for yourself like go to the grocery store & plan easy to make foods for yourself during the day! Meal prep things ahead of time. Think of things you can do for yourself! Think of things you can do for him!! Don’t wait or expect him to be there to help you! Help yourself! I have 4 kids & babysit other kids & make dinner every day go grocery shopping help with home work baths take kids to events & programs/practices & do endless cleaning & soo many other things! Very rarely do I need my husband to help me! Things gotta get done! We work together to both do things for our kids! He goes to work every day! He gets groceries pays bills picks up drops off kids & lots of other things! I try not to bother him especially right when he gets home from work. I leave him be & let him relax & play games or watch tv or whatever he wants to do. I try to be nice to my husband as often as I can! Send him nice things like have a good day texts or thinking of you or most always something a lil sassy/sexy. Try not to unload lots of stress on him right when he gets home cuz it just makes him stressed & dosent help anything. It’s not a good way to deal with things to put everything on him! You can do more for yourself. Might take a some figuring out & practice but you will be fine. Just get it out your mind you can’t do things while having a baby!! I do 100s of things with multiple babies or children every day!! We have been together for 14 years & have 4 kids 11yrs 9yrs 4yr& 6months. Gotta find ways to work together or it not going to work out. 

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Sounds like he needs to be set straight more often. Or you move on. Or you keep things the way they are and eventually not know each other at all. I’m sure there’s other options in there but what I’m trying to say is you’ve got to lay the options out on the table for you both to choose which one it is that you want and which ones you will absolutely not stand for

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6-2 sucks but mine works 6-6 and comes home nightly and entertains ours while I cook and have some alone time. So he needs to get it together. He sounds focused on something else :thinking: definitely shouldn’t of cussed but frustration happens of course

Sounds like he’s just avoiding his responsibilities. He lives in that house and he made those children so he needs to grow up and help out.

Next time if he keeps pulling this crap
As soon as he gets home leave the baby in his care
Go out for a girls night out or shopping or get a massage. Your sanity is everything. You also need a break. U work 24 hours a day every day of the week. He does not. If he says otherwise, stop doing it. Don’t do his laundry or cooking or cleaning till he changes his tune. Only take care of u and the baby. He needs a reality check.

All else fails, oops, I don’t know why your game isn’t working honey… :rofl:

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Oh my God am I lucky to have the wife I have.

Honestly give him the benefit of the doubt humans cant completely understand what everyone is going through he worked and had other stuff he needed to do and had a long day as well and when he got home he seen it as finally him time but you as a stay at home mother have alot as well and need to stay healthy with your own self care but he probably isnt able to see the exact side of your situation this takes alot of communication understanding and patience communicate with your partner set up a routine to allow you both time because even no your needing your own time so does the dad hes also been at work but dont forget your own needs try to adjust nap scedules for some your time, shower or bath with baby in the room, try to prepare dinner before or around the time he arrives so once he gets home allow him to relax from his long day and then when it comes to a reasonable hour of him unwinding switch off and allow your self your own time as well and relax for about the same time every lil bit counts once you put baby to bed spend time with S.O a movie, bath together card games board games E.T.C keep up the routine and scedule and you both will get use to it making it easier to balence eveything on days he has off plan a family outing or get a sitter also try to add a daily outting while your S.O is at work

You need to communicate with him very clearly what you are feeling. Do not make it about him. Make it about you and give him suggestions on how he can help fix the problem. Then leave it on him. You need to work on time management during the hours he is not there to help with the baby so you aren’t so overwhelmed. You are about to have two under two. If you don’t fix it now you are going to burn out and have a meltdown.

If I’m not invited then my hubby will straight tell whoever we are one & he will refuse to go period & it’s the same with me I refuse to go without my honey too … it’s called Respect, Love & honesty … p.s. we’ve been together off & on since we was little kids,married for 14 years & 5 kids later… still going strong… hang in there ,it does get better & well worth it…

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I’m sorry but I have 2 babies and still manage to cook dinner and shower and do whatever else I’ve gotta do. So do alot of women. You need to figure something out because you can’t just wait around for him all the time, have you tried a jumper or a baby carrier?

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My fiance comes home and plays video games all night, too… Except he actually takes turns with me when it comes taking care of our little one, like a dad should. This isn’t fair to you, mama. Time for him to grow up and do his part.

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Sounds like you need someone who is mature

Lol get use to it , some men do not help you see their true colors after kids , my advice get a job at night after he is home this way he has no choice to do it and you go to a work dinner

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Girl if you’re not happy and married to a dick leave ! Don’t waste your life !

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So, being a man who plays video games ALOT. His problem is not the games. Which you can clearly see in your post. Thats only a portion of it. Me and my wife set aside every Friday for date night between 6pm and 11pm. Then every other night she gets me before 7:30 and after 11ish. Every night before 7:30 I clean the whole house, do the laundry, cook dinner have it on the table for her when she gets home, we watch a little tv, maybe make the bed shake, and then shes happy and I’m happy. To me this sounds like pure laziness. It sounds like even if he didnt have games he would be doing something else, almost anything else. He better change his attitude or leave his ass. I make sure to give my wife her due attention, praises, and emotional support she needs before playing games or doing much. Now we live on a budget. So some weeks we cant afford to go out. But that being said, ill go buy her some flowers before cooking dinner and watching a movie. He needs some man lessons.

Don’t apologize for releasing your frustration, you didn’t hit him, you yelled at him. He’s way too comfortable with not putting in any effort as a father. Try to communicate with him and if that doesn’t work give him an ultimatum. You shouldn’t have to force a grown man to take care of a life he helped bring into this world. He’s a grown child, seriously? Throwing a temper tantrum storming to his family with the baby? I don’t think so.

He needs to do more with the kid but its your own fault you didnt eat and that you refuse to shower unless someone is home. Maybe you also shouldn’t have gotten pregnant so soon if you cant handle one baby…

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He is so selfish and all about himself. This is so wrong.I feel so bad for you. Sit him down and gave a talk.

#1 if I’m NOT invited my fiancé won’t go, I’m invited anywhere he goes as well as my kids… we don’t go out much anymore because I’m pregnant but he would never disrespect me that way. #2 you shouldn’t have to ask for him to be a parent to help you out, he should just do it. Sounds a lot like he is unhappy and a douche. I was with my ex husband for 10 years, never once did I get an ounce of respect, I was treated unfairly, cheated on, run over like a rug, I was full time mom to our kids while he partied and had girlfriends. When he would go out, if he even let me know he was before he went, I wasn’t invited. One time he told me I wasn’t invited because I was a bitch and a girl that was going to be there did not like me. I didn’t know the girl and I’m positive he was lying as he always did to put me down. I left this guy and a couple years later met my fiancé. We fight like any normal couple would but he would never ever do the things my ex husband did to me. It hurts at first to leave but you will thank yourself one day if you just take a chance and do it. Someone commented “don’t waste your life” and YES, I agree, it’s harsh but it sounds like that’s what you’re doing, coming from someone that wasted my teens and majority of my 20’s.

Seems like you are just pregnant and being cranky I say ease up some and give the guy a break he is working hard let him play if he wants and life gets harder than what it is now for ya I have 3 kids and my husband plays his Games all the time boys will be boys

Didnt you notice this behaviour before u got pregnant a 2nd time? Did you think it was gunna change? When he becomes a pilot, you will be home ALONE with 2 babies and no help! What u gunna do then…starve and starve the kids? You are a stay at home mother so therefore you need to balance your time and do thing while ur kid sleeps.

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I’m always amazed women get pregnant by men like this more than once. My husband busts his ass 60-70 hours a week and comes home and pitches in and pays attention to his kids without anyone asking him to.

He sounds like he honestly doesn’t care.

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Sounds like he works hard and wants to play on his off time. But don’t we all? You need to have a conversation with HIM and let him know how you feel. Don’t come at him, don’t be rude, but tell him how you feel. Men are not mind readers. They are dumb. They need shit spelled out for them.

I dont understand how hatd it is to help. My first two pregnancies i was able to do shit that needed to be done but the father still had the decency to take turns and help and get things done faster. Also cause he was the father meaning he is a part of the house hold and needs to help once in a while.
With that said, so does your husband. And communicating doesn’t hurt.

You have a single man living with you…

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He’s a jerk for not helping out it would take max an hour for you to take a shower and get dinner on, so he should have gotten off his butt and helped you. As for the work party I have never known an informal work do like a birthday or holiday thing to not allow partners to come along

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Did you say you only have 1 child! And you don’t work? You get to stay home all day, while he is working? You didn’t have time to fix yourself a meal? I think a little growing up needs to be done! He shouldn’t feel like he has 3 babies soon!

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Girl. Don’t apologize. You need to do what makes sense to u. He should absolutely be more responsible.

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You know you’re talking to a whole bunch of women with a whole lot more responsibility than you just whined about. You have one kid, and 11 weeks isn’t even that pregnant. There’s no reason you can’t contain said child long enough to do what needs to be done. Having said that, men are men, they do not think like we do. Talk to him instead of Facebook. Everybody deserves their own time to wind down in whatever way they please, long as nobody’s getting hurt. This is why pregnant women get such a bad reputation. Just shut up and do what you’re supposed to do, because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Maybe he knows this and is afraid to tell you because it sounds like you snap out and don’t properly communicate either. We all had to learn and the best thing I could tell anyone is do what you have to do as a mother. To do your job as a mother. And that’s what women don’t know how to do anymore, and that’s sad.

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Get up early before your daughter wakes up take a shower or (when she takes a nap). Put food in a crockpot and cook it. There’s lots of meals you can make in a crockpot. There’s two easy ideas for you.

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Why did you not hand him the child when he walked in?? If you wait for him to take the initiative, you’ll end up like one-eyed willy. Men are not observant creatures. They will never think of the household and the childcare like we do. He notices shit that needs to get done at work, but at home, you’ve done the work long enough that he never started looking. He probably can’t even tell you what color the couch is. Hand him the child and tell him to get off his ass and do xyz. And if you’re not going to demand from him what you need, you better “take care” of that next kid before it’s too late. You still got a week in most states. Because he won’t change. And dont pretend it’s some kind of new revelation. You knew all this shit when you decided to have another one. So… time to suck it up, buttercup.

He’s wrong but you’ve painted yourself into a corner bc you expressed anger when he was looking for an excuse not to be home and not go help. Some men pull the strings of a fight so that we get upset and now they’re some what off the hook. Everyone has their stresses and everyone needs down time. His should be when the little one is asleep.

What’s wrong with you people who are criticizing her? So judgemental geez.

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Ok. First. Calm down. Take a few deep breaths. It’s ok. Your ok.

Now sit him down and be 100% honest with him. Tell him everything you feel. Have an open conversation with him. Start there.

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Man some of yall are some straight up judgemental bitches. It can be frustrating taking care of a kid you didn’t make by yourself and feeling alone. You’ll be ok girl. Talk with him. If he doesn’t start manning up, then you need to start getting yourself mentally prepared to handle things on your own. Sounds like you didn’t say anything to him. You just expected him to take over when he got home. If you can’t speak up then you can’t get upset. Men can’t read minds. They have to be told to do things or asked. Yall need to work on communicating better.

Sounds like hes given up on the relationship. If your not invited to something he should never go. Thats not okay. That to me sounds like a cheater and hes taking someone else. Or he doesnt want u to go because he can do shit behind ur back.

I have to also say get over yourself about the shower and cleaning up issues. You need to put that baby in a play pen or seat with belts and take a shower. Heck shower with baby.

I think you need to see a therapist. You are feeling like u cant do anything or be anything.

YOU ARE A WARRIOR GET OFF UR BUTT CHANGE UR LIFE AND GET A MAN THAT LOVES U! You are beautiful and strong just do it!

Get a activity centre for the bathroom so you can shower. I put my 10 month old in hers to play and give her a biscuit.

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How do you plan to take care of 2 babies when he becomes a pilot I mean I understand you are frustrated that he’s not helping you out but have you calmly spoken to him about you feelings instead of snapping 11 weeks is prettyearly in pregnancy and to me it was the easiest time but you’ve got to figure something out by the time your husband finishes flight school

Put your baby in a bouncer so you can get stuff done. Put the bouncer just outside the shower so you can still see your baby while you shower. A baby carrier doesn’t work in every situation but it help in a lot.

Sounds like your hormones are making you emotional and life isn’t what you expected. Ask him for 2 hours of uninterrupted time in the next week to talk when you are both calm. Tell him you want to talk about scheduling family time, “me time” for both of you, and time to enjoy as a couple. Ask him to ask colleagues with kids what they do. Then at your meeting, figure out yours, mine, ours and family time & make a schedule.

Did he not want children? Is he the kind that doesn’t know what to do with children until they are older & can talk & interact? Has he ever lived on his own before and had to take care of himself? Is he clueless or just selfish? Do you show any interest in his work or ask him about his day?

If he is unwilling to schedule time as a family, time with kid(s) to give you a break and date nights, then you need to call in the pros and get marriage counseling. Also you might want your doc to screen you for depression.

Ways to get stuff done with baby/toddler: put them in a playpen/porta-crib, high chair, strap them in a child seat/baby seat, stroller.

Take them in the shower or bath with you & get clean together, or let them play on the bathroom floor with toys or be strapped into a seat in the bathroom. It cost me a box of tampons to keep my son out of trouble while I showered. He thought they were awesome toys that he could launch. :crazy_face: Get a clear shower curtain so you can see them & vice versa.

Give them lighter pots & pans & wooden spoons to play with on the floor while you are cooking. Or let them play with an extra set of plastic measuring cups/spoons.

Cook lots at a time & freeze in meal-sized portions for another day/week/month. E.g., rice, spaghetti sauce, lasagna, stew, chili, soups, pizza, meatballs, whatever you had for dinner, etc. Chop up vegetables like onions, celery, bell peppers, and zucchini & freeze so you have them prepped & can grab any amount when you need. Cut up cooked meats & freeze so you can just grab some & nuke for lunch or dinner.

Make white sauce (butter, flour, milk) & freeze in ice cube trays, then pop them out into a bag & put back in freezer. Take out what you need for creamed spinach or carrots, creamed chipped beef, tuna casserole, gravies (add cooked sausage for biscuits and gravy), recipes.

I make crepes (Bisquick but double the liquid) & freeze them. Fill with creamed chicken & spinach with onions, celery & tarragon, creamed tuna w celery & onions, ham, cheese & asparagus—anything really that’s not too soupy—roll up & bake until heated through. Or fill with fruit & chocolate or with jam & sprinkle with booze for dessert or serve unheated filled with pudding or whipped cream rolled inside or folded. IKEA sells frozen “pannakakor” ready made though they’re kind of small.

Make omelets with cheeses, meats, vegetables, salsa, whatever & roll them in sandwich wraps. If you use the large ones, cut the roll-ups in half. Freeze a bag of them, then nuke individually for breakfast. Bonus: you can eat them one-handed while doing other stuff if you wrap the bottom in foil so it won’t drip.

Got a rotisserie chicken or cooked a whole chicken yourself? Cut it up for dinner, save some slices for sandwiches, chunks for chicken salad, casseroles, to top salads, etc. Then cover the carcass with water & boil an hour or two for soup stock (you can toss in bouillon cubes &/or herbs & spices). Drain the broth into container/s, pick off any chicken left on the bones for the soup, then toss the bones & skin. Refrigerate broth & then scrape off fat when solidified if there’s a lot.

Freeze the broth with chicken bits to use later, or add chopped onions, a bag of frozen mixed vegetables, and cooked noodles, rice or barley, and you have soup. Freeze in meal-sized quantities. Or add to the broth & chicken bits: a jar of salsa, a can of corn, a can of black beans, chopped onions, chopped bell peppers & slices of yellow &/or green squash &/or canned chilies or jalapeños for tortilla soup. Garnish with cheddar, sour cream, cilantro leaves, black olives &/or tortilla strips.

Or blenderize broccoli (stalks & all, but cut up a bit first) and chopped onions with milk & chicken broth. Put in a pot & add mashed potatoes (homemade or instant) & cheddar cheese, salt & pepper to taste & heat long enough to cook the onions (or fry them in advance) = broccoli cheese soup.

Easy meals: 1. Cut acorn squash in half, fill with stuffing & chopped nuts & bake until squash is soft.
2. Make a bag of 90 second rice or quinoa, heat up a can of Goya black bean soup, pour over the rice, add a squeeze of lime, minced onions & serve.
3. Cook pasta, add chicken bits from freezer or can of chicken, spinach or other greens (or any vegetables you’d like) & jar of Alfredo sauce. Heat & serve with fruit for dessert.

  1. Open a bag of prepared salad, add some olives, carrots, celery, cabbage, tomatoes, zucchini, nuts or seeds—whatever you have on hand—top with heated bits of leftover meat &/or bacon, salad toppings and/or croutons. I save 1/2 my steak from a dinner out & slice the rest & freeze to use in salads, soups & pasta dishes. Serve with fancy bread & soup.

If toddler is too messy with soup, add bread or mashed potatoes to make it less liquid & more like stew = easier to keep on spoon.

Keep to a regular schedule daily & weekly. It will make your life easier. Do you have transportation? Can you visit other moms for coffee or play dates? Nap when baby naps, or use the time to get stuff done if child sleeps through the night.

Good luck! Momming is hard & so is a relationship, but you can do it!

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There were so many times I would and still will cook with my son on my hip or sitting on the counter next to me while I cut up my veggies or whatever. My boyfriend worked 7am-7pm though and worked almost an hour away from home. ANYWAY, he does deserve some time to relax when coming home. Sounds to me like you need a break it you feel like you can’t even do something as simple as make dinner with one kid. Go out with a friend or family member and leave the child home with him. Ask a friend or family member to watch your child while you guys go out, or take the child with you.
If he is so worried about his game then leave. Sounds like you need to learn to be a little more independent anyway. If he is no giving you what you need there is no reason to stay. Get a job and move on from the loser.

For one, why wouldn’t he invite his WIFE, get a sitter and enjoy time together, for two, he is not a child that gets to go to his room and play video games, he needs to offer and relate to her needs. Yes you can take shower and get dressed before he gets home with a child. I believe stay at home moms get in a rut, you need to get dressed, put makeup on to make yourself feel good and he sees you haven’t stopped trying. Get your zing back. Also COMMUNICATE HOW YOU FEEL! No communication or trust no marriage. Your both in wrong. Work on it before it’s too late. Prayers for your family.

Get rid of the video games .I dont have them in my home never had anx never will

You are his wife. I would say take me or don’t go. He sounds like an asshole and not worth it imo

Wait he has a baby out in the garage with him while he is drinking?

This is how I used to work it. put everybody on schedule. 6am get up take shower, coffee, get baby up at 7am, breakfast both at 7:45 ish am, clean up kitchen/dishes while baby is lollygaging with breakfast, at 8:30am, time to spend time with child (1 hour), then 9:30am, plan lunch menu for both, talking/singing to baby, bath time than at 10:30am nap time for baby (1 Hr), play time entertaining self until lunch. that would be your morning, lunch time 12:30 to 1pm. It’s going to be hard at first, stick with it you’ll thank your lucky stars, specially when the baby arrives, work baby into the schedule soon as possible. Being a mom is tuff and hard at times. REMEMBER YOU ARE THE BOSS of the house. Afternoon pretty much the same. Let hubby/baby daddy know dinner will be 6pm everyday. If he can’t make it for dinner, it will waiting all he has to do is microwave it. If he’s grown family man he’ll work with your schedule.

I put my son in playpen or highchair when getting dinner ready. If husband didn’t come it went in the fridge. No microwaves then Showers were when he napped. Same with house work, laundry etc. Diapers I put in a bucket w/bleach until I had a load to wash. Put washer to rinse then added the rest. In my family Dad didn’t help so I learned, allot, juggling time when growing up. My Dad worked shiftwork every week was different. I never expected my husband to do anything. I did go back to work when my son was 3 mo so I could earn money for myself too. I always had worked and felt more independent going back to work. Maybe get a part time job to get out of the house? YMCA I think has childcare if you work there or just want to get out. Check options so you aren’t in the house all day. My husband was gone allot. My son went everywhere with me. You will work it out, be flexible, maybe not demanding (?).

Have you considered the weight he is carrying for his family? I see a lot of posts about how he is in the wrong here … have you considered that maybe he turned that game on simply to unwind after a stressful day, using his game as a get away to avoid unloading on you?

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Cursing at him only makes the situation worse ! You two need to find time to communicate

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Can you say…baby momma?!

You need to talk to him about how you feel.tell him you feel left out and would love to have him help a little and always schedule time for you both

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There is a giver and a taker in every relationship , you have to decide how much you can deal with this and raise two babies.

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U should not be this stressed with 1 kid. Put ur child in a playpen and shower and cook

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Sounds like he doesnt want to be in the home. Hes checked out

This… Been there… Please micro explain exactly what you just told us to him and if things don’t change you have to decide if you wanna spend the rest of your life like that… It only gets worse with more kids! Just know that you are doing an awesome job mommy and your kids will remember that!

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My I ask how old is he?

U weren’t invited to a work dinner it sucks but it happens as for him playing video games he was up at 6am bussy till 7:30 you could have made ur meal and stuff before he went to his dinner yea he needs to spent time with the kid but after a very long day he has an excuse.

Although u cused at him ND that was a bad way to handle things maybe u need to find a sitter for a night and you to go out talk and enjoy a meal alone

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Sounds like he’s trying to cope w whatever is going on in your lives. He’s escaping whatever chance he gets. That’s what it looks like. I know how difficult it is raising children. Its not good he’s not helping but theres more going on. Maybe you ckd find some time to talk or get counseling for support and to create a new way of sharing responsibilities.

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I’m on your side. Being pregnant and at home all day with a young child sucks at times.
Here is a suggestion since there is so much frustration. Stop asking him to do things.

You are both adults. Tell him to watch the baby. Then leave and take a shower and cook.

Try trusting him to be responsible enough to know he needs to get off the game.

Play this like he is an adult and stop taking everything upon yourself.

Take a nap with the child. Cook and put the child in a play pen.

Lots of people have cooked with children. It isn’t easy, but it is doable.

You mention that you haven’t been out on a date and I can only assume that your pent up anger is causing you to lash out irrationally and probably rationally.

Talk to him and express to him that you want a date. Even if it is a with a baby date, you need his time and for him to care for the child at the table while you eat.

You can see what kind of father he is with his child and allow him to give the baby some attention while you relax and watch … even if he isn’t parenting how you do. Revel in the bond he is creating with his daughter by showing respect to her mother and doting on her at the same time.

But if you can afford a babysitter, get one and go out the house and spend time with him.

I hate saying that dates alone are probably going to be rare, but when you choose to have a family, that is what you are choosing, to be and remain a family. I don’t think there is anything wrong with family dates until the children are grown or old enough that they can stay home alone.

It is a sacrifice we make to be parents.

I am in a minority of probably one, but I had my child so that I could experience life with said child. I had a life without him and I know that in time… I will again be without him being so pivotal a part of my life as he is now. I cherish every moment I have with him and my husband.

You should too. Family is rare and not everyone is able to have one.

Be more than blessed and wish you happiness

Should he have helped when he got home, absolutely. But, you are overreacting about the work dinner.

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He is not being respectful at all to you. He needs to understand that being a stay at home mom is equal to having THREE full time jobs EVERY day. You NEVER get a day off. Y’all have to sit down and talk through this. If he refuses, I would reconsider staying married. This will ONLY get worse if you avoid it.

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I’m not trying to be harsh but you state that you haven’t had a decent meal all day with only one child…Why get pregnant with a second child? How do you expect to eat then?? Just wondering.:thinking:

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You need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him your needs and ask him to help with everything. Be specific. If he doesn’t then you need to make a choice to stay in that relationship knowing how it is going to be or leave. You and your kids deserve better. He might not know what you are going through or understand. So try to communicate with him first.

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Have you sat down with to communicate to him what’s bothering you? How come you can’t eat while having a little one? You have only one? You don’t eat when you feed your little one? Are you a stay at home mom? You can put your little one in a playpen while you’re husband plays on the game. Are you a stay at home mother? I did with 5 children and my husband at the time was NEVER home. I also worked 2 jobs at that time. I would be very upset tho with him going to a dinner party without you. Instead of giving him attitudes you should sit him down and tell him what’s bothering him.

I was alone with 3 sons and 1 girl while my husband was away abroad. At first i was just like you very sorry for myself because i was all alone. And then my mother told me that i was not a crybaby. And that i am a woman who can do this. And then i kicked myself in the ass and just did it! So girl come on! Put the 10 month old in the playpen and do your thing. Make a scedule for him or het and make sure he or she takes regulair napps. When he or she is a sleep you can take care of yourself by taking a shower and put your make-up on. Make your meals easy but with vitamins etc because yiu need them. And take your 10 month old in the buggy for a walk in the park or a mall. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. You can do this!!!

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Sounds like you guys lack communication…
3 things that make a marriage work communication trust and respect, you lose one you lose them all.

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Sounds like he needed to be cursed at to wake him the heck up. He made the babies to so he needs to help you out with them

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Im not sure what he does at the airport but 6 to 2 doesnt seem that long my hubs worked for a garbage company from 5 am to 6-7 pm. And still had time to play and have time for us.

And my husband also worked at a dairy farm working 24 7. And in the spare time he always made sure he spent some time with kids

He needs to find his grown up panties… Come on!

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You shouldn’t have cursed? Really? I think your cursing is the least of the problems there.

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Dam something isn’t right you need a break although I know he work

He sounds like a spoiled brat. Very inconsiderate and a pain in the ass to live with. Does he think your days are sunshine and roses? Let him trade place one day and see how he copes. Also has invited to a dinner and your not? Then he should keep his happy ass home. He sounds like a mommas boy and needs to grow up!