Tell me in the wrong here. My husband is training to be a pilot, and he works at an airport. We have a 10-month-old, and I’m 11 weeks pregnant with baby #2. He works all day from 6 to 2. He had a flight lesson and didn’t get home until 5. When he gets here, everything is fine, and then he informs me that he has a work dinner to go to that I had no idea about. He sprung it on me last minute. It’s at 730 for someone’s birthday. I’m not invited. We never go out to dinner hardly ever. I don’t even remember the last time we went out to dinner. Anyway, I wait till he is home to shower and cook because it’s difficult to do while I’m home alone with no help. He gets here, and he goes straight to playing videogames. Meanwhile, I’m trying to clean up a bit and cook something because I’m starving and have not had a proper meal all day. I have a baby tugging at my legs and crying because her dad refuses to get off his game and entertain her for a few minutes while I’m busy. His game finishes, and I ask him to entertain her for a bit while I get everything ready for dinner. He says he has to go. Its an hour and a half before the dinner are supposed to start. He doesn’t need to leave yet. So I get upset and say, “Whatever. Do whatever the fuck you want to do. I’m done.” I realize I probably should not have cursed, but I was pissed and had been crying earlier already because we never go out to do anything hardly ever. Then he got mad and called work to tell them he wasn’t going and took our baby and went out to the garage where his family hangs out and drinks beers every weekend. Now I’m here, writing this message while the food cooks.
You’re not wrong. He sounds like a real POS to me, and a little like my ex, to be perfectly honest.
You need to find a way to compromise. Yes he works but staying home with the kids is hard too. He deserves to go out for the party, but maybe you could have talked to him and said I would like to go out and eat as a family or get a sitter and have a date night.
I’d be pissed off too. My husband works nights and he still spends time with me and the kids. Video games are fine but not when you’re neglecting your kids and spouse.
Let him be mad. You deserve help and to feel like you’re not alone.
There’s hard times through every relationship… just gotta work through it and talk to each other about it…
Quick while he has the baby go out… see how he likes it.
You can’t cook a meal with one child there with you? Put the child in a high chair or playpen and do what you need to do.
He’s a dick sounds to me he ain’t good at all
I can totally understand being upset if it something that happens all the time. But you have to talk to him about it and tell him how you feel without him feeling attacked. Because as soon as they feel like you are attacking them, he will get defensive and shut down. He should absolutely be spending time with you and the kiddos, but just as you do, he deserves time to do his own thing. Maybe talk about setting up a date night once a week for you guys. It doesn’t have to be actually leaving and spending money. It could even be like say every Tuesday, you guys have no electronics or whatever after the little one goes to bed and watch a movie. Or you guys find a sitter to actually go out together. It’s all about compromise and communication.
Have you spoken to him about this before? If not, you have to talk about it as soon as something starts to bother you. Otherwise, its just gonna keep building up and stressing you out until you blow up. Nobody wants that.
I see it from both sides. We all want our alone time but we can’t expect our partner to understand how we feel if we don’t say anything. Have a conversation about it. He should be able to go out just like you should as well.
As for dinner , I don’t think that’s a big deal I mean it only gets harder as they get older so I wouldn’t expect that to change lol. I don’t allow video games in my house just for this reason though. Maybe you guys could compromise. He gets a certain amount of time to play and then you get some time to shower or do whatever you need to do.
Was he like this after you had the first baby? Or has he gotten this way since you were pregnant with baby #2? TBH, if he was like this with the first one, he damn sure wouldn’t have gotten a 2nd. Also, you said you guys barely go out. Do you have someone that is willing to babysit? If so why don’t you get them to babysit while you have some time to yourself? Forget about him, maybe have a spa day or get together with a girlfriend, go to a movie and out to eat. 
Idc who you are. Grown men shouldnt be playing video games. Are you guys pregnant teens in high school? Cause thats what it sounds like. Last time i had to fight with a guy about video games was when i myself was in high school. Lol havnt even dated a guy since that played around me. Because thats my time with him.
Men that act like boys do not deserve a marriage or kids… leave him and find a real man…
He shouldn’t have been going anyway if you couldn’t go and it’s his child too. Let him pout. You’re not in the wrong here.
Communication is key; let him know you’re with the baby all day and need a mental break, even just to make a snack for five minutes. We all need a break, as much as we love our children they can be overwhelming and burn you out fast
Put your child in a high chair, exasauser or bouncer and let her cry and you do what you need done. I do that when my fiance is at work.
I think we have all been there especially with some raging pregnancy hormones it heightens things. Try to find a way to talk to him that is on his level. Start out by saying something you like about him like “You are such a good supporter for our family, thank you for working so hard” . . . Then start in on what you need from him. Relationships are all difficult it takes time to learn to communicate effectively.
I’m sorry you are having to go through this .Sounds like hes not interested in your child .I agree hes stressed out and tired but you are going to have to talk to him about this whole situation. I really hate to say this but do you think hes involved with someone else? I personally feel both of you should have waiting atleast till your child was 2 to have a second baby.How was he before he started the pilot training? Has he always been so unhelpful? Someone who isnt interested in even spending time with one child will get worse after you have the second one.You need a nanny or a babysitter who can atleast give you 2 hours of free time everyday so you can cook dinner or relax .
Hide the video games or the plugs and tell him you both need to sit down and talk about what you both need from one another
That wouldn’t fly with me and I’d be long gone!!! You deserve help after he gets home from work. I’d be pissed!
- Get a playpen … or fix a meal when baby eats in a highchair. Or shower when in a playpen too.
Dude! You did the right thing! He can be mad. Cook your dinner and enjoy your peace for a minute. Take a bubble bath and be unbothered. If he cared he would help. And guess what? Hes taking care of his baby. Take your break girl.
First of all he sounds like a jerk. The only thing I dont agree with her is “Hes not home so i cant clean or cook?” That’s odd. I cook and clean when my boyfriend is at work all the time. Hes a work all day, are you working? Because if you arent working then I’m sorry the house and kids are your responsibility yes he should help when he can and he sounds like a jerk but he isnt the only problem here
Hopefully there’s not more to it… you snoop his phone recently? I’m just sayin
Through away the games
Express to him how you feel. If he doesnt change then Sell it while he is at work, find a sitter and go get a mani/pedi with money you made.
Honestly, sounds like you BOTH are just overwhelmed with life a bit right now. Breathe, give each other some space and come back and try and communicate how y’all feel. He’s working full time… I’m sure he feels like he has to decompress and you’re home all day which is a struggle he will never be able to understand!
It’s so easy to shower or clean with a little one. There’s no excuses as to why you can’t. Then you bitched and got your way. Ffs what else do you want
Ugh video games. I understand. Just because you’re working doesnt mean that when you get home life stops.
If the gaming was balanced and within reason, I wouldnt mind. I’d rather he be gaming then out doing God knows what. But its excessive. (My guy) He also excessively drinks at the same time. So they go hand in hand almost. But every second hes off he either sleeps or games and drinks.
He needs to find a balance and give his family attention. But you both should have an outlet or hobby. You both need to be happy. Sounds like everyone e is overwhelmed. I understand and am still trying to figure things out here. Best of luck
Hunny your about the have a second kid, play pen n high chair so you can cook… let the baby fuss.
You don’t need to wait all day to eat.
You are getting really depressed and stressed out and at this time you need alot of care and attention because it will affect your unborn baby.your husband isnt being supportive at all and you guys dont have much communication either.But do sit down and tell him how you feel .
He sounds so disrespectful, maybe think about a seperation? You and your kids deserve more.
All the ladies on here criticizing her are so ignorant, and clearly the relationships that you’ve had or the relationships that you are in, are with boys that haven’t yet turned into men. Men don’t get home from work and jump on an Xbox, men get home from work and spend time with the children that they love and want to help raise. Men give their significant other a break when it’s necessary. Men take their family to their Christmas work party’s.
Do you live with his family, And what are you going to do once he becomes a pilot and can not come home every night
Y’all need to communicate. Words are what make relationships work. When he comes in, tell him why you’re upset. Men cannot read minds. 🤷
Some of you must love leaving kids unattended!! This momma needs help and advice not shame from some of you asshats!!
Communicate, dont yell and curse.Everything you wrote here should calmly be said to him. He’s not seeing your point of view and I don’t think your seeing his. In the end, he gave you what you wanted, he took the toddler and you had your free time but it seems that your still not happy because of how he choose to spend that time with his child. Communication makes marriages so much better.
First the baby can sit in high chair while you cook or in a playpen . He would not come home and get on a video game and play all evening. His kids too. If you don’t change it now don’t expect anything different. Why were you not invited to Christmas dinner? I would make it my business to find out if spouses were enclosed. If you don’t work do t expect him to come home and start cleaning. Y’all seriously need to have a come to Jesus talk.
You have to put your baby up and cook and shower. I have 4 kids. I co ok k and bathe all of use before hes home. Play pens are your friend. Tell him how ur feeling.
My bf does the same and we have 3 kids together and one with special needs and I have 2 kids from previous. anytime not at work is spent on video games , I work and leave when he gets home , so we barely have time together , he ignores his children and me and it sickens me at this point and has been going on to long and I am ready to leave him I can’t keep being with someone who ignores there own children . He has sat and Sunday mornings to play and have alone time but never turns the game off when we all get up and he should be doing stuff with me and or the kids, it won’t get better . He just blames me , I’m crazy it’s fine to play video games 17 hours a day and do nothing else
You have every right to be upset!! Men often think because they work a job that that is their contribution to the family…that they shouldn’t have to do anything else…that they should get to come home and relax…they believe this even when their partner also works but comes home and cleans and makes dinner and entertains the kids. Its ridiculous!! Now he thinks he gave you what you wanted by taking the toddler off your hands but in the end what you want is a partnership…some time together…some participation on his part. Men need to grow up…they wanted kids but then dont want to do what it takes to take care of them and your relationship
You need to talk and compromise and plan. This might help you in the future so you can do things more like a family. I expect my husband to give me notice if he has anything to do, so it’s not dropped on me last minute. Set times for video games, dinner, and even a date night. My relationship was almost ruined by our lack of working together because that first year is rough! Talk about your struggles and your relationship so nothing is in the air. Time for you two to decide if you’re going to fight for your relationship or leave.
My other advice is you need to learn how to be productive while you’re with your children. Take a shower before the baby gets up, or during a nap. Your 10 month old is old enough to eat real food. Make pancakes, eggs, sausage, etc. and make some for you. Same for lunch and dinner. Use your play pen or high chair. You have to learn how to manage your time with the kids to take care of you too. When you have 2 kids it’s going to be easier if you start developing a schedule now. Yours will be almost the same age difference as mine and it is very important to learn this now.
I definitely understand your frustration, but it sounds like he may be frustrated as well, and you both are building tension toward one another due to stress. As for the video games, it’s so easy to get pulled into technology and not realize what’s happening around you. Put it up while he’s gone and when he goes looking for it when he gets home, ask him if you can have his full undivided attention so that you two can talk things over as a couple and you will bring it back out. I’m a stay at home mother to three babies and a trucker’s wife. Trust me, I know how you feel.
Talk to him about having a time to “decompress” when he comes home and then helping out. Nothing wrong with an hour of video games if that’s what he enjoys. However, the work dinner thing would drive me bonkers. I really think you guys need some couples therapy and help with communication. You need to reconnect with each other.
Invest in a good stroller or high chair and a tablet for the baby…and a new husband while you at it:flushed:
Umm… he works all day, your job is the house. Sorry but thats how it works. If you were working full time to provide for you guys, he would be irresponsible for the home. I feel like you are making excuses. Can’t shower or eat? Why? You have ONE child.
Lol if it was really a work dinner he probably didn’t want to go anyway. 
IDK.i wouldn’t.
Plus evidently speaking your mind works, cause he started watching her. Just be sure to say thank you for the help. Appreciation goes a far way. Also I would maybe get a baby gate and block the baby out the kitchen or a high chair or something
Yes communication his priorities are a little messed up right now and he should understand your feeling and emotions with a toddler AND now being pregnant again. Damn he could’ve at least cooked for you. You don’t need that stress good luck!!
Schedule some “me” time. And take a break.
sell the games console
Your husband sounds very self centered.
He’s. Not a. Man, He’s your little Boy
My husband works im a sahm and we have 5 kids. When he gets home we have 10min uninterrupted time (no phones or tv) we talk catch up a bit then hes on his phone playing games however if i need something i just tell him to get off his ass and help me. We have 5 2 in sports and a newborn im ALWAYS busy. We both need time to wind down his is when he gets home mines when kids goto bed. However we eat dinner as a family no electronics. If im putting kids to bed he gets our middle 2 cups ready. We manage well
Idk why ppl are just focused on her cooking…something doesn’t sound right with him…he’s definitely a jerk…he should want to spend time with u and his kid…ur pregnant and that itself makes things so much harder… Especially emotionally…i feel for you
This exact thing was already posted before.
And again. Someone’s birthday isn’t a work dinner.
I would be re thinking baby number two! You think it’s hard now! But talk to him. And if he has family sitting in the garage, ask one of them to mind Bub while you have a shower
And he’s a wanker!
This is why I love being a single mom. Don’t have to worry about any of this stuff. 
I just do for my kids and I juggle it and figure it out.
You signed up for this just do the best you can. Make plans and tell him and go out. Communicate calmly not during a fight how you feel.
I would never go to a bday dinner my spouse wasn’t invited to. No no no! And he needs to stop being selfish and help you out.
Why are you mad? Jokes. I’d already be on an episode of snapped. Hugs momma. No advice, just love. 
He doesn’t sound like he’s a family man. Shame on him!
You need a routine. If you can’t shower or cook with one child how will you cope with 2.
He’s out if I read that right from 6am until 5pm surely it is possible to have a dinner ready when he gets home.
I’m not bashing I think you need advise on establishing a routine for yourself and your child
He cancelled his plans took the child out of your hair.
My husband loves game. Playing himself and watching other people playing online 
Now our kids are older and they have their stuff and routine and my husband is more involved but when my kids were younger it bothered me in the same way. We had a promise - no computer till baby goes to bed at night. Afrer that he can do whatever he wants.
I am telling you. Thats the hardest age and when the baby comes along it will be even harder. Talk to him make him understand. Not like i want you to want to help guys will never voluntarily do anything. Make a list of things you want him to do after he gets home from work. Every single thing doesnt matter how small it is. You just put it on the list and make sure to keep it.
It sounds to me like you need some you time. Set your babe up in crib while you take a shower and in a highchair while you cook or on the floor with Tupperware and spoons. But I would definitely talk to your husband and yes your “job” may be the house and kid but you are suppose to be life partners and you need a break just as bad! As someone who stayed home for for years then started my own business my husband has been a big help we share home and kid responsibility. Good luck and remember men need you to be specific they are not mind readers and you are going to get burnt out with the way things are.
Tbh, he’s got to work on some stuff but he DID take her off your hands. He didn’t just leave later, he - although begrudgingly - took her & let you have time. Just consider that & also thank him. And when he’s not pressed tell him you need more help when he comes home. Don’t wait til you’re already tired. Talk when you’re both chill.
It’s really not hard to get a play pen and put a few toys in there so you can get a 20 minute shower in, do not let yourself go or you will feel crazy all the time. It’s ok to take 20 minutes to yourself after the baby is fed, changed and in a safe environment. The baby may cry, but you know the baby is fine and you can have a few minutes to yourself.
wow your baby’s not even 1 & your already pregnant!?! that’s ludacris, if you can’t handle it use protection! Not sure why the last minute dinner is a problem considering you weren’t invited! Hunny your baby is crying & tugging on you because YOUR ignoring her/him, if your husband provides for you & your family then he deserves to play some games, it’s like a reward for all they’re hard work, I’ve never had a problem cooking or cleaning with a small bebe & even showering wasn’t hard, my son was with me 24/7 most of the time, that’s just how it is when you decide to settle down, no more you time, no such thing as dinner dates or quality time with your husband, frankly I feel you weren’t invited because you expect everything to go YOUR way, parenting isnt like that & I’m happy he took your baby & left im sure you needed it, pregnancy hormones are probably why your crying! Sorry to say girl but that’s just life, learn how to deal with it, instead of bashing your husband online, saying he took your baby to drinking spot, this kinda information can be used against you, all I’m saying is hormones: deal with them, your the one who decided to get pregnant again when your baby is on 10 months! that’s alittle crazy, you didn’t think of the risks? or letting your cunt heal first?!?
First you just need a good plan for the day with the baby. I cooked, cleaned and showered with my baby from birth until now. She’s 3. If I can do it so can you! Second it’s ok he plays games BUT he needs to help you with his child and when things are all set then he’s free to do whatever. That’s how it works in my house. My husband loves his xbox but we do dinner, bath and he puts her to bed. When all that’s done he plays. Fine by me! A couple others said, thank him for working so hard and then have a calm convo about some expectations and then tell him after to knock himself out. Compromise. Also check his phone I just felt like there’s something fishy. Maybe there isn’t but him being disconnected and random times he has plans. Good luck! You can do this and if he won’t… Bye Felicia.
I think you need to find a schedule that works for you. I work 12hr nights with 5 kids and I’m 9 months pregnant and manage just fine… if you’re throwing this big of a fit over one child , you need to figure something out.
I feel a little pregnancy hormones but yes I would be upset too, see if you can find a good family member to watch the little one and take a mom day (mine are 12 & 5) I still need mom days away from them. But also plan a family day way in advance and tell him he’s going be there when he asked for the day off. Sometimes we all need a cellphone/game free day to remind us the kids are growing up too fast and we don’t even know it
I could be very wrong…but it sounds like he’s entertaining someone else. Been there done that. We have 3 children. He’d leave early for work. I got an investigator. Sure enough he was with another woman.
Can’t quite understand where youre coming from with everything, But I have a almost 2 year old and a 7 month old. I struggled after the 7 month old was born trying to figure out how to shower and clean and cook while dad is at work. I usually cook while the kids are playing and while my baby is napping I shower. Keeping tidy with a little one is almost impossible but I sweep, vacuum, do dishes and usually a load of laundry every day. But there’s always toys all around the house no matter how many times I clean them up they find there way back out.
Don’t let these other people fool you. What they are capable of is on them and what you need in your partner is just that. You didn’t make this family on your own. If you want him to give you some alone time away from the kids so you can get things done and he can have time to bond- he needs to step up or step off. The time for videogames is when the babes are sleeping. Family first- couples time second- personal time third. Priorities.
Also slower cooker meals are the best, they’re just throw it in the pot ans check on it ever now and then, I was a young single mom with my first
More fool you for putting up with this behaviour, you are a couple, yoù made your babies together,the responsibility falls on both of you…I think you need to sit him down and have serious words relating to how your family life should be run so that everyone benefits…
How and when you speak your mind is just as important as speaking it.
I think a lot of this happens because couples never sit down and hash out the expectations. Everyone just kinda assumes their roles and it’s a we’ll figure it out and cross that bridge when we get there. Then the bridge is burning and no one knows what to do.
These conversations should happen often. Especially with every pregnancy. Roles should be assigned and chores should be designated.
Although I understand your frustration, as I have been in the EXACT same boat, I think you missed a very important window that could have strengthen the communication between you both.
Partners can be oblivious to our individual needs. Instead of lashing out, you could have asked him to sit down for a second. You could have explained your day exactly the same way you just did here. And you could have let him know that although you are very grateful for all of his sacrifices, you need his help to fully manage the house in a way that would benefit him also.
Ask him if he could work with you when he comes home he can have X amount of time to wind down, do whatever he wants. From X-X time you need him to spend time with his child so you can cook and get dinner ready. And if he picks up after, you will take over the baby again and he can go back to his time.
Ask him for his time on his weekends. Ask if he could help you clean the house from x-x time. And if he could squeeze some you and him time on x day.
It doesn’t have to be you leaving the house. It can be a romantic night in with a movie.
Should you have to do this? Lmao no. Should they know that they need to jump in and help? Yes.
But if you don’t bring it up, it’s going to build and you’re going to resent him and he’s going to be oblivious of it and wonder why you’re always unapproachable and in a bad mood.
Communicate. In a calm clear manner.
A couple of things, my husband would never go anywhere I was not invited, and I would never go anywhere he is not invited. We are a team.
Put the baby in a high chair and give her cheerios or other little snacks while you cook, it’s what I do with my 8 month old if my husband is on his game, in the shower, or not home. For showering put her in a play pen, or put the high chair in the bathroom and put her in it, and shower before he gets home. I’ve had to do it many times because I was a single mother alone with my first until she was 5.
There are ways around
the problems, you both need to work together in solving them. Yes it sucks he behaved that way, but talking to him about it will solve it easier than talking to us about it. After you threw your fit he canceled his plans and took the baby so you could have alone time, its not like he just went anyway, leaving you in the same place you were in when you lost your temper. Take some deep breaths, understand that pregnancy will spike your feelings and hormones, and use logic to figure it all out.
Good luck on whatever you plan on doing but I would sit down and talk to him
Sounds like a child not a man.
Your relationship needs a better balance and most importantly, communication! You need time to yourself first of all. Regardless of how many hours he works! If he can play the video game after work he can watch the babies. I would never make an excuse for a man like “oh hes a man, all men play video games”. Wtf!! Youre probably exhausted! And you should communicate to him that you would appreciate it if he informed you of the dinners and stuff ahead of time. Im sorry youre going through this. I know exactly what its like! Stay at home mom is a job too and an exhausting one at that
My man was the same I posted the exact same thing on here a while ago that he games all the time I had to talk to him, scream , cry and eventually he is better now it is tough to try and parent, clean ,cook, eat, rest and everything else expected of you when they are at work all day you feel like a single parent. All these people saying she can cook and clean with the baby obviously had loads of help it’s not when the baby is so young and wants attention or play if she doesn’t cook and clean and spends all her time being a mum and teaching and bonding with the baby shes criticised but if she cooked and cleaned and did what she had to do like showering shed be criticised for not spending time with the baby. Just keep going mama even if it comes to it tell him if it’s too much for him then he can leave and let him know you can do it alone if you have to I had to say that a few times and now after 8 months of feeling like a single parent hes sorted himself out. It’s even harder when it’s your first and you are amazing and strong and can do this just sit him down and be brutally honest about the way you feel and if it doesn’t sort it after a few more months then go at it alone take care of yourself and your 2 babies and let him be a little boy you got in a relationship with him not to be his mum my inbox is always open
He’s checked out. He’s not being a parent. Yes, he’s working all day, but so do you. He needs to understand that, but it’s not going to happen fighting over it. I HIGHLY suggest counseling. I know you’re thinking, “When would we do it!?!” If it’s a marriage worth saving, you’ll figure it out.
He obviously feels entitled to his down time, but you are working all day too…and that is something many 1 income households struggle with.
The only way for him to see that his behavior is wrong, is to have a 3rd party to lay it out on the table.
Sounds like a lot a pressure for you and I totally get how you feel. I’ve been in relationships like that in the past. It’s easy to feel lost in being a stay at home mum. I found strapping each of my babies into their bouncer chairs and taking them into the bathroom with me meant I had time to shower, brush my teeth, do my makeup etc. All those things that make you feel more human. Try to get out for a walk everyday too. Cabin fever is a real thing when you’re at home with babies! Perhaps look for some local baby groups to get out a bit and meet some people. The loneliness of being a stay at home Mum is one I never knew until I was one. I’m always available in inbox if you need a friend or a chat, as someone who has been there before x
First of all I would have smashed his game. He needs to grow the fuck up.
I’d be livid. Just making plans without you. A flight lesson? Is this for recreation or a career? 6-2 isn’t that long. Maybe have a good long sit down at table.
You need to figure out a plan with your baby before your second comes along. There is no reason why you can’t cook and clean with your 10 month old, that’s just silly. As far as your shower, take it while the baby is napping. Having a baby does not cripple you and you are about to be in for a world of hurt when the second comes along if you can’t even handle the one you have. You need to talk to your husband and make it known that you need him to be there for you emotionally and to be there for your child emotionally as well. It’s ok that he wants to play video games, but that comes after he spends time with the baby.
Yeah it sucks he was being selfish but this is so stupid. You’re overly emotional and pregnant, I get it, I’m there too being pregnant with my third baby with a 2 year old and 9 month old. I find the time to shower and eat and take care of myself even when I’m home alone. There are playpens, and baby gates, and things to keep them safe and entertained while you do what you need to do. You ARE NOT helpless and you shouldnt make yourself be in that position in the first place because its not good for your mental health. As for your husband you two need to sit down and have an open and honest conversation and you need to tell him what you need from him, politely as an adult without pointing fingers or getting angry. And he needs to do the same for you. Its about compromise. both of you
And you’re having another baby? That was a mistake. When he gets home from work tomorrow, hand him the baby, get a bag and leave for a week. Let him figure it out like you do, every single day. Tell him YOU need a break. You teach people how to treat you.
He is being a selfish child. Honestly while you’re still early enough in pregnancy its almost worth it to get some sort of job or hobby to do part time in the evenings just so he has to look after the baby.
Communicate all your thoughts and feelings honestly.
If he was like that before you got pregnant with baby #2, why would you get pregnant again? If he just started being like this, I feel bad for you, otherwise… you shouldn’t be complaining 
Honestly these are things we shouldn’t have to explain to men… yet here we are… ask him to switch places with you and see how fast he changes everything… men don’t realize that our jobs at home with the babies are way harder than working on the outside… they have adult interaction on a daily, while ours is with an infant who barely can speak yet.
Tell him how you feel ONCE, if he doesn’t get it… RUN!
As women we bend over backwards for our family and we feel like we get nothing in return… we have to change this ladies we didn’t make these babies on our own… and just cuz you work 8 hrs doesn’t mean you have no work at home… our jobs are 24 hrs a day 7 days a week and it’s unpaid
Good luck
A grown man who plays video games is the first problem here.
Take a hammer to the gaming system as a hint to how pissed off you are.
To every woman on here who is saying she isn’t doing enough and she should be able to do things with a 10 month old… did you guys forget that not all babies are the same…
Some people shouldn’t even comment… & the sad part is that it’s women… I’m so happy that you guys got it down pack on baby number 3… this lady here is a first time mother with another on the way it can be hard especially if she’s depressed or whatever the case may be… I remember with my first born I couldn’t even move away from him without hearing him cry… so you ladies are saying I should just shower, wash my hair shave my legs etc while he is in the playpen at the top of his lungs?? Yea real fair… when he clearly has a father who can man up and help and see that his woman hasn’t showered in days maybe… be realistic ladies
It’s really hard to have babies and husbands who act like entitled teenagers. It gets even harder when your children become teenagers and you are also married to one. Get this stuff straightened up now. It only gets worse. I can tell you I’d much rather be a single mom doing on my own (which I am) then living with a dude that doesn’t know how to take care of his family and put their needs ahead of video games and beers in the garage.
Try to get the baby occupied. Coloring, cartoons etc. I have 9 kids and am on my own in the evenings bcuz he works night shift 2wks out of the month. As for hubby write him a letter and put it in his car to read at work or something and tell him how you feel.
While I do feel for you, i’m gonna be pretty forward and fairly blunt, babe!
Firstly:
6 til 2 - is NOT all day.
Yes, his flight lesson meant he didn’t get home until 5pm, that’s an average working day for some.
Get some help to figure out some short & long term strategies to cope, because depending on what kind of pilot he’ll be, he could potentially be gone for days, if not a week/weeks at a time.
He may have forgotten to tell you that there was a dinner, for someone’s birthday or not - it doesn’t matter.
BE OK with not being invited (you wouldn’t be spending 1on1 time with your hubby there anyway, and besides - those things are BORING, especially if you don’t know anyone cos you don’t work there!)
Now, I completely understand that being a first time mum is scary, and it seems daunting… And yes, a 10 month old can take up ALOT of your time and attention - but you will want to get into the groove of how to get things done while entertaining a child at the same time, as you’ll soon have two!
Find your own way, and if some days you just CANNOT be bothered(as we all get at some point) then don’t do it, simple! It’s not the end of the world if your house isn’t clean for ONE day, or two…or three!
A word of advice- DONT leave it until he gets home and then run around like a headless chook trying to get things done…it does NOT work!
Question:
Do you have something that you do or used to do, that would help you to relax at the end of the day?
Maybe the games, although I don’t agree with it, are his way of relaxing and unwinding.
Pregnancy hormones are running rampid right now, but honey, it’s not as bad as it may seem!
Trust me, it is so much easier and you’ll feel so satisfied when you find your groove, as relying on others - even hubby - only leads to frustration or you getting upset.
It is NOT worth it.
Let it go…
HE is the one missing out on what’s going on around him and before he knows it, his babies will be moving out of home and he’ll wonder where the time went!
Finish cooking - eat - go have a bath - Relax - Go to sleep…
Let him put baby to bed!
If he complains to you about it/needs your help/asks you to do it, here’s 2 options;
- Pretend your asleep
- Simply say that he knows how to do it.
Any reply to number 2 should be met with, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you would have known how to do it by now!”
He works all day from 6 till 2? Lol Good luck!