Hi, I was wondering if you could keep this anonymous, please. I’m currently three months pregnant with my third child. My husband has one biological child with me and one on the way. He didn’t want any more kids, but we have a miracle. He constantly reminds me he is NOT excited about this baby. He doesn’t ask me how I’m feeling, doesn’t ask if I need anything or when I have an appointment doesn’t ask how it went. I asked him today if he wants to do a little gender reveal for our baby, as we did for my daughter a couple of years ago. His response, “no, that’s stupid. I’m not excited about this at all. We don’t need a gender reveal.” I’m crushed. I feel so alone. I feel like I’m the only one that is excited about this miracle. I feel like I have no one to talk to about my feelings. I feel as if I can’t talk about the baby around him because all he does is ignore me or constantly reminds me he isn’t excited. He picked out a name for the baby, but that’s it. I know three kids can be difficult, but I’m always home with my two kids while he works 60 plus hours a week. I’ve always wanted three kids, a big family, and just to love my babies. I need advice. What do I do? I love him, and I’ve been with him for nine years, but I can’t take how painful this is. It hurts. My heart is crushed. He was so involved with our daughter. Always rubbed my belly, got me my cravings, talked to my belly and loved her before she was even here. This time around it’s the opposite.
I am so sorry love. I am sure he will change his views once baby is here. Sometimes its harder for me to feel a connection when the baby isn’t here. HUGS mama
Fear?..or hes just an asshat who u should leave
Sounds like he might have been planning to leave and now upset he can’t or shouldn’t
I don’t mean the be the Debbie downer but is there a possibility he’s cheating on you? My ex husband and I planned our second baby and he was not excited at all about it, I later found out he was cheating on me and was planning on leaving and now with a new baby, it would be hard to leave, that’s exactly how he acted.
Sit him down and have a serious talk with him. The kids will notice the difference in how he treats them later in life, and if he doesn’t get his act together, he will not bond with this child. He had sex, he took the risk of you ending up pregnant again. Now he needs to step up and be the same kind of dad to this baby that he is to your daughter.
Everyone is so quick to assume he’s cheating but maybe, just maybe, HE DOESNT WANT ANOTHER KID! He works 60 hours, probably hardly sees the kids that he has, and you decided to get pregnant again. You said yourself you always wanted more kids so I doubt this was a “miracle” as you’re calling it. Your husband is stressed and all you care about if yourself. I feel bad for him…
Sounds a bit fishy. I feel like he may be cheating
Everyone saying he’s cheating? Maybe he’s exhausted and can’t handle anymore financial responsibilities… that’s a long time to work and it sounds like it wasn’t a mutal decision to have a baby so he is upset.
I’d leave. Sooner the better but before your baby is born. Document everything.
That’s horrible how he is acting but maybe he’s still in shock. Hopefully once your belly starts growing it will seem more real and he will come around. Just try and stay positive and see how he is once the baby is born.
Maybe you guys no longer want the same things, no longer on the same page. Relationships dont always last. If your not happy and he’s not happy then maybe it’s time to call it over.
He needs a swift kick in the pants just for being a turd. But also, I think you need to reach out to an unbiased 3rd party to have a mediated talk with him and get everything out in the open. Maybe he’s got feelings that he doesn’t know how to express, maybe he’s scared.
It’s fair that you’re excited, but also fair that he isnt. He’s allowed to have feelings & express them, too.
Tell him to man the fuck up or he can leave. He doesn’t get to be shitty about this, it takes two to lay down and create a baby.
You need to remind him that he was half of the equation!
Me and my husband each have one daughter from previous relationships ( so 2) and when we TRIED to have a baby I got pregnant like in a week. After I found out I was pregnant he started regretting it bc our girls are older (15 and 6 then) and he didn’t wanna start all over but we were hoping for a boy. When we found out I was having another girl his whole attitude changed. Def regretted knocking me up and just didn’t want 3 girls in general. I cried. Alot. Granted he went to all my appointments but that’s it. But when I was Induced and she was born, let me tell you, that baby had him wrapped all the way around her finger and she’s the biggest daddys girl. Maybe he’s just stressed. I wish I would have sat him down and talked to him about it. Maybe try that approach. Maybe he is just stressed to the max and doesn’t realize how bad words and actions can hurt especially with pregnancy hormones
I’m so sorry you are going thy this during what is supposed to be a happy time. Have you spoken to him about why he is not happy about it?
Am I reading this wrong? " My husband has one biological child and one on the way" is she meaning the one she is carrying or???
Ill take the baby!!!
He told you he did not want more children
But no forreal…leave him before its out !!
Why does everybody always jump to cheating? So this actually happened to me. We were done I got pregnant again. We both were upset about it even talked about abortion. When i found out i was already 10 weeks so we had to keep it. He was half there as well but when the baby came out and he held him everything was find
Sounds like he didn’t want another kid to me. So I can understand why hes not excited. With luck he might come around abit when buns is born
They say a mother is a mother the second she is pregnant. A father isn’t a father until he meets his child. He’ll be excited once he bonds with baby; but I would still be spiteful and frequently tell him “I’m not excited about that” every time he talked about anything lol
This might be pointing out the obvious, but have you actually spoken to him about how he feels? Prior to the pregnancy was there any talk about expanding or wanting more children? Sounds to me like he just point blank didn’t want anymore and this is somewhat of a “burden” to him. Don’t get me wrong, babies are a beautiful blessing and as a mother myself I would have no resolve in keeping my child and doing it alone, but sounds to me like your husband genuinely wasn’t prepared or was wanting this, hence the hesitation, lack of enthusiasm and negativity. If it doesn’t improve I dare say it will cause a lot of strain and pressure and you’ll both lose the marriage in the process…sorry but I feel his feelings are just as valid as yours in this scenario.
What an ass no offense but if my fiance did that I’d leave thats ridiculous
Maybe you should just talk to him… make sure he’s okay and its possible you’re taking it to heart when there’s bigger issues going on…
Not showing any excitement yet thinks he should have a say in the name? Lol give the baby a different name then he can’t just pick and choose when he wants to acknowledge the pregnancy/baby
He sounds stressed. Maybe consider finding something to help him take care of your little family financially. He said he didn’t want any more kids… I can’t imagine having to provide for another one after working as hard as he already is. Either way I’d find something to fall back on in case he leaves.
Enjoy every minute of the pregnancy urself…if ur going to wait till he’s on board to be happy u’ll miss most of the joy…also don’t depend on him for ur happiness or if he ever leaves you you will fall apart. Pull urself together for ur own sake and ur marriage…best of luck
Everyone saying to leave… and that he’s cheating 
omg… maybe he just didn’t want another child and that is ok. From the sounds of it he works alot, maybe he is stressed out as is and just didn’t want another child… I would talk with him and explain how your feeling how he can be more involved. Maybe once baby is here he will change. There is 2 sides of a story… I’m sorry you have to go through this. I can only imagine how hurtful this can be when it’s supose to be a happy moment for both parents.
I’m sure it’ll be different when the baby is actually here. Maybe he is just tired from working?
It maybe the dread of working 60 hours with a screaming new born Ask if he no longer wants to be with you. Or if its just going to take him time to adjust and hope he can be up front and honest
Takes two to get pregnant. If he didn’t want anymore, he should have gotten himself to a Dr. to take care of it.
My husband was NOT excited for our 3rd child. He did not get into the whole process this time. We had essentially been done having kids and she was a huge surprise. The moment she was born everything changed. She is almost 2 and has daddy wrapped around her finger. I honestly don’t think it’s real until they are here for Dads. To them is just another month to feed. I would def give it time.
It’s not real for him. He cant feel the baby moving and growing. I know several dads that weren’t thrilled, but we’re head over heals when the baby was born.
I would talk to him about how he’s making you feel. And how like it or not it happening. And if he doesn’t get over it soon, he’s going to feel guilty for the rest of his life.
Think about how this child is going to suffer. Its father will ignore that child. I would get so angry at him and make him listen. All I can say is good luck.
My partner didn’t want another, we had 4. Didn’t come to scans etc ( I wasn’t worried about that , I didn’t pressure him either:)). But honestly when bubs was here, she became his favourite! Don’t take it to much to heart. He didn’t want this…Alot of stresses come with kids. I’d be mortified at having another now lol…
If he was clear he didn’t want another then I see why he is reacting that way god willingly he will change when the baby comes
You already knew that he didn’t want any more children so unfortunately you are going to have to find some supportive family and friends that will get excited about this pregnancy with you.
Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like a good situation to be in. Clearly you both are not on the same page not wanting the same things. This can definitely cause pressure on him and yourself.
I understand his point wanting no more kids as he works most his life and realistically you’d be the one doing everything, as my suituation it’s alot to take on being work relationship, house, kids it’s overwhelming he probably doesn’t want that. It all leaves no time to focus on a relationship.
I’m glad my partner got the snip after our babies.
He would no longer be my husband acting like that.
He sounds like a disgusting asshole
I have a question? Why did you marry him when you knew he didn’t want as many kids as you? I will always be a big believer in marrying someone who shares the same views as you. Would make it a lot easier on some.
I feel so bad for so many women in this group!!! These men are shit. It doesn’t matter how he feels about it it’s happening. He can be mad at himself for not preventing it better 
he knows how babies are made. He needs to be there for you and all of the kids or he should be alone.
Because he didn’t want another baby thats why.
He is a fool. Enjoy every minute of this pregnancy. He might change his mind?!
Leave him for a month and see how he feels after that.
I’m not trying to be rude but sounds like something isn’t right if you knew he didn’t want more kids how did u end up pregnant again ? U do it deceitfully because u wanted that third baby ? Or was it a accident ?
If you were not careful about protecting yourself from having another baby I can see why he would be upset . But it also takes 2 to tango so he could have wrapped up if he was that worried .
It’s hard to say if this man is really a jerk because I feel like there is more to the story .
I pray that his attitude changes when the baby arrives. You have to watch that because if he still feels that way when the child is born who knows what he will do. Oh and he didn’t want more kids but I bet he didn’t wear any condoms. Are you on birth control? If not I’m sure he knows that too so yeah he needs to grow up. He went in raw knowing what the consequences would be.
I didn’t even read it all. Get rid of him before the baby comes! No child deserves to come into that and if he’s resentful he’s not gonna help and could be abusive to the child. Sounds like a real POS. I’m so sorry you’re going through this!
So your husband works 60 plus hours weekley?You stay at home mom.Just suppose he stayes over tired most of the time.I know stay at home mom is full of work if you get it all done almost daily.Plus being pregnant 3rd time can be a rather easy time if you love having babies.Some men dont respond as you want them to.Just try not to stress over this.Congrats .I love babies.
He didn’t want more children-He may never like the child, just resent it-it was forced on him and he had no say
If he didn’t want more kids, he needs to work on his pull out game.
If my partner didn’t want anymore kids I would go straight on contraception or suggest he get a vasectomy, either or. I’m not about to give him babies he doesn’t want.
My partner didn’t want more kids. I could’ve had another but am happy we decided not to. In the end it takes two to have safe sex. All these people saying YOU should’ve done this and YOU should’ve done that are full of it. Guess what. HE shouldn’t have shot a loaded gun and hoped the bullets didn’t land. She’s happy about the baby. So if he didn’t want it it should’ve been on HIM to make sure it didn’t happen.
Remind him u got into ur condition with his help!! He needs to grow up and step up. If he didn’t want more children he could have done something to prevent that!!!
Ask him how he would feel if something went wrong with the pregnancy! He would feel terrible and have that on his conscience! They are a blessing from God and there is always a reason for things!
Before I told my husband I was pregnant with my 4th I told him not to have a negative thought because he would have felt terrible if something happened! Now 20 years later we are attending all her college softball games! She was born 12 years after my 1st 3! I was 38 when I got pregnant! She has been our blessing! My oldest son and daughter each have 2 daughters and we lost our 22 year old son 8 years ago! It is difficult having 3 but time flies!!!
Congratulations!!!
sincerely remind him that you are no longer excited about your marriage. I couldn’t handle that. I would have toxic raged with my hormones and Godzilla packed his stuff. I don’t care how good of a man he is he isnt SH!T if he can say that about his unborn baby.
Ask him to go talk to someone with you. If he is this disconnected he needs to explain why ? And the excuse I didn’t want another child isn’t good enough. If he didn’t want more kids he should have covered it up. This could be come resentment towards this child. Get him to talk to someone or get out.
Nope. I wouldn’t be able to stay with my husband if not only did he treat me that way while pregnant (whether he’s excited or not, that’s no reason to treat you poorly. Pregnancy can cause many health problems and he should make sure YOU are okay), but also if I couldn’t trust him being a loving father to my baby.
Nope.
If he didn’t want any more then he should have put a rain coat on or gotten clipped… if you have done something to his protection ( put holes in them , or made him believe you were protected and wasn’t then shame on you for doing it knowing full well he didn’t want any more … either way you can’t force him to be happy about this child just hope he comes around before it is born and he loves this one as much as he does the others
So, a guy is angry about the consequences of his own actions… how original.
You didn’t make the baby on your own, he better buck up because unless he leaves, he’s getting another baby. Child support or love and support? The choice is his
Do what makes you happy, if you want to have one do it. It takes two to make a baby, he should’ve done his part if he wanted to be safe regardless. The baby’s here, it’s got no fault on you two’s decisions.
I would be seriously considering leaving now. If he’s already being like this during the pregnancy, imagine what he is going to be like to the child when they are actually here.
Sounds like you need to have a heart to heart talk, tell him your feelings and let him express his, even if you disagree, since he’s working 60 hours a week to support you and children maybe he’s worried about finances and feels overwhelmed, not justifying his lack of enthusiasm about a miracle you both created, just suggesting that maybe there are underlying reasons, hope it works out for all of you 
I am so sorry. This must be super challenging! Just reading this post made me tear up, I couldn’t imagine the man I’m married to acting like this towards a pregnancy of HIS child!
Please sit down and tell him exactly how your feeling, Maybe he will open up and tell you how he’s feeling and why…hopefully the two of you can come together and continue this pregnancy TOGETHER.
He might change when the baby is born
Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed 
. Problem solved.
I don’t have any advice, I just really feel for you. There’s no lonelier feeling than having a baby on your own when your partner is right there. I really wish you all the best.
Girl I’m going to just throw this out there… im reading all these comments and seeing people say counselor and consequences of actions and but my child or children come first above all else! They come before anyone else and that would include my husband. Your husband is a grown damn man and if he can’t pull his head out and be excited with you about a baby he created with you from the very beginning then you need to get out right now and enjoy your life with your children without him. Love him or not he obviously doesn’t love you enough or he would have been excited from the second he saw the positive sign. So sweetie you do what is best for you and your babies and throw that gender reveal if thats what you want to do and don’t invite that ass*ole. Throw a baby shower and don’t invite him. Go to all the baby appointments and don’t invite him. Most likely you start living your life without him and enjoying it he will want to be apart of it then and it will be too late then.
He needs to hear these EXACT words.
She calls the baby a miracle baby. I wonder if he did have a vasectomy or use contraception and they still got pregnant. I
I mean even I think gender reveals are stupid and I’m super excited for you and others pregnant! Ignore him when he does this. He didn’t want kids so you almost can’t blame him. He will warm up when baby arrives I could almost put money on it! Also sitting down and telling him your feelings is good too. He needs to know he’s really jeopardizing y’all.
I’m sorry he isn’t supportive of you when you really need it. He needs your support, too. 60 hours a week is 12 hour days, and now he’s looking at losing sleep at night (due to a new baby) with that schedule. Maybe he feels like you’re adding burdens when he already feels overburdened. Maybe it takes 60 hours a week just to provide for the kids you have and he doesn’t have it in him to work more hours to provide for another kid. Maybe you should ask him why he doesn’t want another kid, and if possible then try to come up with a compromise he can be happy with, about whatever is the reason. For instance, if he’s worried that he can’t work all these hours on that little sleep, come up with a sleeping arrangement he can accept. Or if he’s worried about having to work more hours to provide for this new little one, come up with a budget by which you all can live on his current salary with the new baby.
Hopefully he will come to love his little one like crazy once little one is here. Its different for those who can’t carry child. I would tell it it hurts your feelings and tell him how you feel though. He needs to try to at least support you especially since he should love you. ( I did go through something like this but my babies daddy was abusive. The physical abuse started while I was pregnant with our 3rd. He admitted years later he wished he would have hurt me enough to have killed our 3rd. I was emotionally done with him when he admitted it. But it still hurt even more. He revealed a lot of hate for our 3rd even when he was 4 years old. He never bonded and my ex never even had a job longer than 6 months our whole relationship!) This experience really sours my thinking for your situation but I hope you have a better relationship with your husband and that he will listen to you and your concerns. And who knows one day that child he thought he didn’t want will be his best friend. Plus it doesn’t help it sounds like he works a lot. When i worked over time I was always tuned out of my home life. It felt like it was just a blur.
Bye bye to him if he isn’t excited and supporting u and the baby leave …he not a real man dad if he not helping supporting u two bye bye
You can’t be upset cause he didn’t want anymore and has made this known to a lot apparently! Its not a miracle if its something your not wanting. To you maybe not him…
Tell him to get his head out of his ass or leave. If he’s like this while you’re pregnant then how’s he gonna be when your sweet baby is born? Is he going to treat your child like dirt their entire life? Put your foot down and tell him to get it together or get the hell out.
He was done. You’re saying Miracle… how did this happen. I have two, my tubes are tied, if I got pregnant I’d abort in a heart beat. I’m done I would be devastated if I got pregnant… I feel sorry for the husband
I have been in your shoes to an extent. My marriage was failing and I selfishly thought a 2nd baby would fix everything because he was excited and was an okay father to our first. We both agreed to try for #2. I got pregnant 9 months pp after my first and had such a horrible pregnancy. He was not involved or attached to this child. After trying for this one and successfully getting pregnant then nothing from him. I got 25 pounds over my pregnancy because I was so miserable, depressed, and unhappy. I honestly say to give it until the birth and if he still doesn’t come around then it’s time to walk away. Because it will never get better. I stayed in hopes of things changing and it only got worse. I was completely broken and damaged but I gained the strength to walk the hell away.
Well, he doesn’t want anymore children. Not sure what you expected.
Having a baby should be an enthusiastic YES from BOTH people involved.
I assume this wasn’t an immaculate conception and that he had some part in it. That’s ok, this child will know without being told and will be very close to you. Your husband’s loss.
Leave him NOW. Hes treating you like this now he’s not going to be good to the baby. Baby will be constantly reminded he didn’t want it. Get out now.
Why is the man always the bad guy and “leave” “he’s cheating” is brought up? Good lord, it’s like men aren’t allowed to have feelings. When they show them, they’re jerks, if they don’t, they’re jerks. Yet, somehow, women think they deserve every feeling, thought, want, need to be validated. Smh.
He didn’t want another child. Of course he isn’t going to be excited right now, if at all. Dang, give him time! You say he’s not interested in your feelings? Hello! You’re not taking his into consideration either. Try to back off the baby talk for a while. Give the man some room!
If I got pregnant again, having cute, tied, burned tubes, my youngest of 3 turning 15, I’d not be very excited, either. When you say you’re done, you’re done. Sure things happen, but it doesn’t mean ya gotta be happy about it, at first.
My guess is he feels betrayed. If he didn’t want another baby and then your pregnant, it’s dismissing his wants. It may be your miracle but obviously not his. It’s hard to be exited about something when you were never included in the decision.
I wasn’t excited for my last pregnancy. My husband knew that I wanted to wait a few years. It doesn’t change that I love my daughter. Actually the only one that I actually tried for and wanted to have was my first born. I’ve always loved my children but the last two pregnancies I had depression because I thought the timing was pretty bad. I’d give him time. He’ll probably warm up once he sees the baby. Just give him space and let him take the back seat.
Firstly, do not have a gender reveal. Please stop that ridiculous trend that causes more harm and in cases death and destruction.
Secondly, if he didn’t want a child he should have been using protection or did you not take your pill on time. We don’t know the circumstances to fully comment.
However I can understand why he may feel overwhelmed. Having another child is not only about cuddles and cute smiles. It’s also a financial strain at times. You said you stay home. He works. He is overwhelmed and all you’re thinking about is this family you always wanted yet did not fully discuss with him. I am sorry you are going through this but you may need to seek professional guidance on how to deal with this
Married for 4 years and never got pregnant. Then all of a sudden I was!! My husband accused me of having an affair and this baby wasn’t his. I never cheated on him so went on with taking care of myself & going to my appointments alone. When our son was born he was a replica of my husband! Your husband will be okay when the time comes. He is adjusting right now about the addition. Ignore him when he says something but do your meals and all for him. Do everything you did before getting pregnant. He will realize this baby really won’t be a hardship for him. Babies really don’t cost that much except maybe clothing & diapers. Give yourself a baby shower!!
This is tough! Hugs to you… Take a breath and try to think of this from his angle. He sounds like he’s overwhelmed and exhausted working 60 hours a week He may not recognize it himself. Doesn’t sound like he has time to enjoy the two you have now. Time to sit down and have a heart to heart. How can you work on this together? Is there a way to lighten his load? You’re a team. This baby deserves and needs both parents. Best of luck.
I think if nothing else, y’all need to go talk to a therapist. He’s goons have to get over it. This baby is coming and he is the father. He’s gonna need help to get through whatever his mental block is
Everyone says leave because he’s not excited…REALLY…since when are men not allowed to have feelings…this man works 60 hours a week…has 2 kids…guess what…he’s tired …
Yes your pregnant…was this a real oops…or I want therefore I will have…
He is being honest with you…just let it be… hopefully when child is born he will love this child…
But no person should have to have extra responsibility when they are not ready or unable to handle…that is a great way to make resentment
It sounds like your hurt and you have every right to be. Just talk to him. Tell him everything you are telling us. Tell him how much it hurts. As much as you need to talk to him, you need to listen to him to. This is your reality and the baby is coming whether it is welcome or not. From there you can decide what it is that you need to prepare for Baby, whether that is with him or not.
Maybe he is going through a mid life crisis.
I mean, he didn’t want anymore kids. If he told you that before you got pregnant again, then idk what to say!
He has issues and that’s rude. You need to communicate all this with him and then if hes still not empathetic or caring of your feelings have an unbiased 3rd party to help with these convos. And to the disgusting ppl talking about how they’d abort in a heartbeat if they got pregnant again what a sin and what a world of darkness we live in to kill your own child. Disgusting. God have mercy on your souls bc that is disgusting to brag about. Not knowing the sanctity of life is beyond sad. Ignore them. And pray for people like them. Congratulations! Try to communicate openly with him and if you can’t do that and have a non biased person like a counselor etc with you guys if that didn’t work just between you two then talk to someone yourself. You can’t change other’s behavior but he is your spouse and should love and respect you enough to hear that he’s hurting you repeatedly and to stop doing that. Tell him how you feel.
With how covid has been and now minimal people wanting to work. He’s probably exhausted and trying to get ahead.
Just give your husband time to adjust to another baby he will come around eventually when baby born. He just need time that’s all .things will turn out for the best .
I wouldn’t include him in anything from here on out. YOU pick the babies name. Tell him you’ve decided to change it. You throw a gender reveal party for yourself, you be excited for the both of you! When people start noticing he’s not involved… let HIM explain himself. He’s being really shitty and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but try your hardest to relax and not cause this baby anymore stress than he is.