I mean he changed his hair style and you don’t like it so now you’re bringing up he doesn’t go to bed the same time as you. Sounds petty.
My husband and I have not ever gone to bed at the same time in 25+years , I sure don’t worry about it. But to say because he shaved his , again his head and you dont like it is your problem not his.
So if you were to lose your hair should he fall out of love with you?
Coming from a cancer patient who has lost her hair , felt so ugly and it being out of my control I appreciate the fact that the love I have with my husband is deeper than looks .
So if yours is about looks you should probably end it thats not love . And he should deserve love beyond being with someone only worried about themselve and how they look cause their spouse looks older than them .
So he shaved his head and that makes him less attractive to you. So why do you care when he goes to bed? Downstairs? What does that mean and why wouldn’t you also be downstairs.?
I let my husband do whatever to his facial hair and head hair, however I do request he not shave his head down to the skin because when he does and with all of his tattoos he looks like a skin head and I don’t like that look for him. As far as the bed thing, my husband does this too, but typically if I’m like hey can u come to bed with me I miss you, then he comes to bed.
His body, his choice. Do you ask him before every hair cut you get? That part does seem silly to me as hair grows back.
The not going to bed at the same time is more of a real issue. Even if he just only goes to bed at the same time as you 2-3 nights a week that would be a good improvement and compromise.
It’s his hair. Does he tell you how to wear your hair. Get over it. There are.larger things to worry about. Lost my hubby 8 years ago. Would have him here in a heartbeat bald and weighing 500lbs.
Does he live and treat you right. If answer is yes then let the hair go.
My husband and I are also 10 years apart 36 and 46 , been together 16 year’s he hasn’t shaved his head for atleast 12 years but I do remember hating it to he has dark bushy eyebrows so it just looked terrible but I was still attracted to him and got over it pretty quick. Women do weird things to their appearance all the time and men are not allowed to say or act differently towards us to protect us from insecurities. It’s our hair and we’ll learn on our own , as do men and if they like shaving their head so be it.
2nd… his routine of going to bed after you is also strange that he’s not bothered walking into a room that you’re already asleep and Has to quietly slip in beside you… sounds like a big disconnect emotionally , mentally , physically, romantically. Have you tried to change your routine and stay up with him ? Maybe not every night but a couple nights a week. It sounds like he’s taken comfort in his alone time being when you’re asleep and he can enjoy his peace. It’s really healthy and good to have ones individual time but if you give a little maybe he can to. Or balance it out by going out together on dates so you get your fix of being together and he keeps his alone time.
Such a dramatic change in appearance should have been discussed. It’s a visceral reaction to have that sprung on you. I get it. Let him know you aren’t a fan.
I go to bed later than my husband. I need a period of time to get rid of the clutter from the day that’s in my head or I don’t sleep. Some times it’s a few minutes, some times a couple of hours.
The big thing you need is communication.
Does he retreat because he’s an introvert and that’s the only chance he gets all day to have solitude to recharge? If it is just the desire to introvert and you want him going to bed when you do, allot introvert time somewhere else in the day, even if if means you have to do solo parenting (assuming you have kids).
My husband shaved his head and it bothered me for like a minute because it was a huge change. I got used to it and it doesnt even faze me anymore. To say you’re not as attractive to him is pathetic it’s HAIR! My husband and I never go to bed at the same time I’m not lonely at all I consider it me time. We both decompress think about our day and get a little quiet time in.
He doesn’t have to ask about shaving his hair. Simple as that lmfao wtf As for sleeping together… talk to him about it. Maybe he will cuddle with you for a bit before you go to bed as a form of compromise if he doesn’t want to go to bed when you do. He’s a grown man.
Sometimes i go to the bathroom and just randomly cut my own hair, will even give myself bangs, dye my hair, i never feel the need to ask for permission. That just feels weird to me. If you cut your hair and he told you he was no longer attracted to you how would you feel? Hair grows back its not a big deal. Also him going to bed when he wants isnt weird either. Yall are adults, you don’t need someone to tell you when it’s your bed time. You gunna cut his food up for him and hold his hand when he crosses the street too?
I feel it’s the lack of communication that’s more of an issue. He didn’t bother to say “Hey baby, I’m shaving my head because…!” And you haven’t said “Hey baby, why you taking away my security blanket at night?” If you have been together that many years and can’t simply talk to each other about things like hair cuts and sleeping arrangements, I feel sorry for your relationship
1st issue? Is your own problem. That’s petty as hell, he can shave his head without your knowledge, it is his head after all 2nd issue, you do have a valid reason, and he should be making more of an effort
While I fully agree it’s his choice I hope all the women here saying his body his choice didn’t circumcise their sons.
To answer the question yes you’re being weird and petty.
Ok so he shouldnt have to ask u to cut his hair. If this were flipped and he was mad that u went to the salon and changed your hair ppl would say hes too controlling. The fact that u arent attracted to him over a hair change sounds so shallow actually makes me feel bad for him. I dnt mean ti sound mean at all just trying to be honest. The other part of the post though, you arent being silly. If youre communicating with him about feeling lonely and he isnt changing what he does then u really need to sit and have a talk. He shouldnt have to always go to bed with u but if its an everyday thing then maybe try to find out why. Me and my husband dont usually go to sleep together because i have insomnia really bad but he understands why i dnt always go to bed with him. Maybe theres a valid reason he isnt coming to bed with u si just have a conversation about it.
Why does he have to ask you if he could shave his head? It’s his head not yours, and your are his wife he is not you property. The sleeping thing I don’t understand so you except him to come to bed with you even if he is not tired just so you are not alone? Be appreciative your husband is home with you at all.
Ok. So you’re pushing him away by saying and acting like your not attracted to him and then wonder why he doesn’t want to go to bed with you? First of all it’s HIS body, he can do whatever he wants to it, and he doesn’t need your permission. Do you tell him your going to get a haircut everytime you do? Even if you do i bet he doesn’t think he has any say over how you cut it. I get it that you would have like to be warned about such a drastic change in his appearance but he didn’t tell you so now you need to just get over it because he has the right to do what he wants with his body. Maybe he should have told you but don’t make it a huge deal that he didn’t. If you want him to go to bed with you then try talking to him. Maybe he senses your disapproval and that bothers him. It’s just a haircut. Don’t be so upset about it. Think about how you would feel if you got a haircut and your husband told you it was ugly and he was no longer attracted to you because of it… that’s hurtful AF!!!
I think most men follow a pattern. They buy the same type of shirt the same type of trousers the same pants. And have the same hair style for years. When a man suddenly changes his behaviour or look beware ! Like when men but new underpants. Or change their social media picture to a new sexier one.
Also not wanting to come to bed with you. It is hard I think falling to sleep together is an important part of the day. .
You could at least both compromise on that one. So do it every other day
I have alopecia. And I hate my bald head. I am female. I think if a woman came home having shaved all her hair off without telling her husband he would be upset. .
I get really pissed of when people tell me I should embrace my baldness. I know how hard even after 30 years of this I find it to connect to myself in a mirror without hair. So I totally get that you are struggling with it. That does not make you a bad person.
I can see why you are upset on both parts. Hopefully it’s nothing important and he is just having a funny five minutes. But I think maybe your feeling like you two are not connected at the moment. ?
Its hair, it’ll grow back. 2. Does he dictate how you can or cant do your hair? No? Refer to point #1. 3. You knew he was 10 years older than you and would start looking older before you did whenever you married him, so stop being so damn shallow or leave & let another woman treat him right. 4. Enjoy having the bed to yourself for a little bit, maybe you’re stressing him out to the point that he needs time alone and that’s why he doesn’t go to bed with you.
Sounds like y’all need to separate… Shit not attracted because he shaved his head … Wtf… I hate beard’s, and my husband still grows one out. Didn’t make me love him any less. He is still the man I fell in love with… And for bed time… I dont understand shit I love going to bed before my man. Means I can get to sleep before the snoring starts.
He doesn’t have to consult you before he makes a choice about his body/appearance, just like you don’t have to consult him before you make a choice about your bod/appearance.
Your comment about you not being attracted to him because he shaved his head is concerning. If you’ve been together 15 years and his appearance is what determines your attraction to him, you have some larger issues.
As for going to bed together, you’d have to ask him why he doesn’t go to bed with you. My husband and I rarely ever go to bed together. He gets up at 3am for work, so he is usually ready for bed long before I am.
I think that it’s ridiculous to expect someone to align to your sleep schedule. As long as he finds time to give you the what does it matter? He’ll come to bed when he’s tired… But that haircut shit is another story… Tell him how you feel and make him wear hats until it grows back!!
I would stop giving him sex for a while just to let HIM know how serious it is… You’re about to cheat on his old ugly ass
I would be PISSED and embarrassed in public…
he has dark bushy eyebrows so it just looked terrible but I was still attracted to him and got over it pretty quick. Women do weird things to their appearance all the time and men are not allowed to say or act differently towards us to protect us from insecurities. It’s our hair and we’ll learn on our own , as do men and if they like shaving their head so be it.
2nd issue, you do have a valid reason, and he should be making more of an effort
what does it matter? He’ll come to bed when he’s tired… But that haircut shit is another story… Tell him how you feel and make him wear hats until it grows back!!