My husband didn't ask me before he shaved his head...advice?

I have 2 issues. I want to know if I’m being dramatic or not. First one, my husband recently shaved his head. We have been married 15 years & he has never been bald. He’s 45 & 10 years older than me. With him being bald he looks a lot older to me. I just can’t get used to it. I know it sounds silly. He didn’t tell me he was going to shave. I just don’t feel as attracted to him. Second issue my husband never goes to bed with me. It doesn’t matter what time I go to bed. He always goes downstairs (he is there a lot during the evening too). I have expressed how lonely it is to always go to bed my by myself but he doesn’t seem to care. Am I being silly?


He has the right to do with his hair what he wants.Did you fall in love with his hair or him.
Going to bed without him let it go he is still home he could be out in the bars with his friends and coming in at all hours of the morning or night or not coming home at all.He is grown he doesn’t have a bedtime hour anymore.

Met mine when he was bald when we were 19!!! Love bald men!!! But now he grows his hair…still think he’s cute…a little old but cute… my hair was down my back…he loves it long but I’m older it’s thinner and we live in the desert now …it’s too hot for it so mine is short… he still gives me some so it must not be that bad… I’m thinking your issues are a little deeper then hair… if he’s avoiding bed time… maybe something else is going on…

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I’ve been with my husband for 16 years and we’ve never gone to bed at the same time, me around 10.30 and his after 1.30. He’s a night owl I am not I’ve never had an issue but can understand why some would but if he’s not tired when you go to bed then he’s not tired. As for his hair… that’s a tough one, I prefer my husband with a bit of gruff not a beard as such but when he saves it all off he looks different but I don’t find him any less attractive because I love him. Would I find it strange if he saved his head off yes probably would I love him any less probably not. People get old, maybe he wasn’t happy with his hair anymore.


He has to ask you to get his hair? I had a husband like that!! We are not married anymore. Going to be by yourself is lonely? How long has he been doing this?

Oooo I understand about the head thing especially as he wasn’t bald when you met but if his hair was thinning and he felt uncomfortable and shaved it would that really be any different? Do you consult him before you go to the hairdresser? I imagine not. His hair will grow back just do an Elsa and let it go. Also the bedtime thing I think is a little unhealthy, you shouldn’t need him to go to bed with you, you’re an adult and so is he, it’s normal for people to have different sleeping patterns. Get some chocolate and lay in bed and watch serial killer documentaries like the rest of us :sweat_smile: or get a dog :woman_shrugging:

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It is his hair so yes he has the right to shave it, however it is a huge shock and you also have the right to feel how you feel about it. The good thing is that mens hair grows quick. I would honestly just nicely tell him your not a fan and maybe he won’t do it again? The going to bed thing I understand. My husband works nights so on the nights that he is home he still stays awake most of the night, definitely later than I do. For me I’m used to it and honestly enjoy the bed to myself lol. I would also talk to him about that and maybe ask that 3 nights out of the week he compromises and comes to bed and then the other nights he can still do his own thing. Either way both situations just require some communication. Good luck!


I think the haircut is none of your business (in the nicest way) but if you tell him it makes him less attractive to you then he may have second thoughts about it next time.
I’d be more upset about the bedtime routine, does he say why he doesn’t want to go to bed at the same time? He doesn’t necessarily have to go straight to sleep if hes not tired but yeah it’ll be nice to both go together, have you gone down stairs to see what he’s getting up to whilst he thinks your asleep? xx

Yes, he has a right to do with his hair as he wishes. However, that is a HUGE change to make totally unannounced. That, coupled with the night time routine, I believe he is not sharing all of his thoughts and feelings with you. I would certainly suggest therapy so that he can share those thoughts and feelings in a supportive atmosphere (he may be afraide to do so with your…for some reason, absolutely no insinuations here…but he may need some professional nudging in that direction). Good luck sweetie!!!


You’re over reacting regarding the haircut! You either love him with or without his hair. As for the last bit of your post. I suggest you communicate with him. Other than that. Good luck


His body his choice. He doesn’t need to tell you he’s shaving any part of him. How would you feel if he told you what to you with your body? Honestly, idk this post is giving me shallow. Hang out with him until your ready for bed. Why does he have to go with you if he’s not ready? It sounds almost like you’re looking for reasons to be angry and possibly leave him. I’m not picking on you… however I have seen you post this multiple times on multiple platforms. I’ve read through the comments before and it seems you delete and re post with when it doesn’t go the way you want.

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Are you aware that hair grows back? Also it’s his body and his hair. You sound super controlling.

My husband used to go to bed earlier than me. I would go to bed when he did and get back up when he fell asleep
That is an important time of day to spend together for us.
We need that connection time with our spouse. It keeps a relationship healthy.
The hair, I would let it go. He may be thinning and be self conscious about it


You’re allowed to have your own feelings, interests, turn ons. You don’t need bullied into thinking you’re bad for feeling some sort of way. It’s a change, of course it could be off-putting.

As to the not going to bed with you part - if you’ve discussed your likes and wants, and tried to get feedback from him. Then he just is ignoring them, then there’s your sign.
It’s up to you to decide what you’ll deal with and won’t deal with. But if I were with someone for a long time and they refused to come to bed or cuddle. That’s sus. Lol.
Try speaking to him about your wants, and if that doesn’t work it’s up to you to decide if you want to stay and feel lonely with lack of conversation and intimacy. Or leave.
He’s showing you where you stand with him.

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Sounds like he’s not the guy you’re looking for … people outgrow each other

I don’t think your overreacting. I’d be confused. A lil hurt. Feels like when my husband left me after 13 year out of the blue… He changed a bunch physically quickly without me feeling part of him anymore. Very VERY painful and lonely. And feeling that lonely you have felt for some time is valid and then him shaving his head is just a valid shock. Not saying he cant without your approval to do what he wants but WHY? And why not involve you unless you guys have never been close enough to share details or big changes?


Haircut yes the always going to bed alone no

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Do you ask him every time you get a hair cut?


Did he ask you’re permission before he asked you to marry him?

People need to learn that people do not need to ask anyone’s permission to do what they want to their own body

His body belongs to him you don’t have a say over that and the fact that you feel entitled to one is a little concerning not going to bed with you that’s an emotional thing and valid reason to be upset

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OMG !!! You DO NOT OWN his head . He can do and have the right to do whatever he wants with it .

Why he has to go to bed if he is not tired ?
Why you don’t go downstairs and go to bed with him whenever he does ?


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Put yourself in his shoes. If you got a haircut and he were to get mad that you didn’t “ask” about it first and then he were to tell you he doesn’t find you attractive anymore - people would be yelling that he’s controlling and a misogynist and a walking red flag.
That thought process should be a two way street. If you don’t want him telling you what you can’t and can’t do with your body, don’t do it to him.

The bedtime thing, has he explained to you why he goes to bed later? It might be the only time of day he has where he’s totally by himself or he wants to watch a show that you have no interest in. If I stay up later than my husband, it’s usually one of those reasons.
I get the whole lonely thing but trying to control what he does to appease your emotions isn’t okay. It’s one thing for you to ask about it every now and then but to demand and expect it on a daily basis seems controlling.


I think he could have brought it up to you first that he was gonna shave his head but he should be able to do it. Just like if you wanted to do whatever to your hair, its your body and your choice to do it. And for the bed thing not everyone has the same bedtime. If he said to you that he wants you to stay up with him instead im sure you wouldn’t want to cause you would be too tired. He may not be ready for bed when you are and may not be tired. Some people are more night owls and others want or need to go to bed earlier.


first his head his business same goes for you, second don’t put it as you are lonely ask him what’s is going on with him. I’m in a lot of pain and go to bed hours after my husband so something can be going on with him


Hair does grow, so I would let that one go, not worth the battle to win the war. You can say to him, you are used to him with hair, and you think he looks better without hair but in the end it is his decision and probably just trying something different As for going to bed without you, is because you want his company, or you need his company or do you think he is avoiding you. There could me many reasons why he isn’t going to bed with you, so talk to him about it always starting with how much you miss him and am wondering why he does go to bed with you. Communication is really important!


The difference between a good and bad hair cut for a man is two weeks, it grows back. Also, it’s his hair, nobody in this day and age should feel they have power over another adults choices or decisions.

Maybe he just wants to do what he wants to do regarding his sleep schedule. If you’re feeling lonely when you go to bed, you’re obviously not tired enough so sit with him until you are.


Does it matter now youre not attracted to him if he comes to bed or not.

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The hair can grow back just ask him to grow it . And go to his room and seduce him. And if that don’t work there might really be problems

I mean yeah it sucks that he shaved and you don’t love it but it’s his head. This is one of those things you have to discuss before it has a chance to happen. Like hey I don’t like bald guys and then maybe he would know your preference and try to work with it. But even so it’s his head and if he likes it then maybe it will grow on you. I always thought I didn’t like beards and my husband knew that but he started growing one and I was like…wait a minute I actually love YOUR beard. Haha. My husband prefers long hair but I’ve still cut it shorter sometimes and even though he prefers it long he still thinks I’m cute. So I keep my hair long usually for years just for him because he loves it but still I’m a person and if I want to cut my hair then it’s something I always hope my husband can respect. When it comes to going to bed together you guys need to have a heart to heart talk about it. There has to be a way you can both get what you need. Maybe certain nights he goes to bed with you and the others he stays up. Or if he can bring stuff into your room and cuddle with you for a while and then stay next to you and go about his thing. A while back my husband would play video games very late and I didn’t want to go to bed alone so I would sleep on the couch behind him. Now it’s kind of flipped and I like to stay up and watch shows because it’s my only time to myself after being with three kids all day. So some nights I go to sleep with him and other nights I go up with him but I lay in bed and watch shows on my laptop. You guys just need to talk it out and find a compromise. I don’t think you’re being silly your feelings are valid because they are your feelings. What matters is how you handle them not that you feel them.


First he has the right to do what he wants to his body like cut his hair how he wants it. You don’t control him. Second he doesn’t have to go to bed just bc you are tired. You two have different sleep habits. Again you don’t control him.


Silly is not the word I would use. Maybe look at your behavior… it is his hair…you have no control of that…what else have you tried to change about him… you throw his age up at him… honey…you might have controlled him to the couch. He gonna stay attracted to you just because you are younger than him? Self reflection may go a long way here.

Short answer: yes.
I would really hate it if my man made me feel bad about not going to bed at the same time as him :100:
And my partner just stopped cutting his hair one day, now it’s longer than mine, I wouldn’t be surprised if he shaved it one day too. I love him regardless.

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And y’all think single people are lonely, there are more lonely people in relationships…:thinking:

The hair part yes, the not going to bed, THAT’S CONCERNING

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His hair will grow back in six weeks. Not a big deal to me. Sounds like the marriage was already on the rocks with him not wanting to sleep with you anyway. Communicating is the answer.

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Is everything else okay in your marriage? If those are isolated concerns- let it go.

Check his computer if it’s where he goes at night. That’s often a pattern.

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Who cares? It’s his head. If you are tired go to bed, if he doesn’t want to go to bed yet then leave him alone. Go get your hair cut and colored a wild color and maybe put a ring in your lip. Then try going to bed without nagging him - maybe he will want to then.

About his hair, yes like it’s his body he can do what he wants. It’s not a one sided thing meant for just women, men can do what they please bc no one has a say over their body either. About going to bed together, kind of. If he’s tired he’s not obligated to stay up w you. My husband and I go to bed at separate times unless we are both tired right about the same time, if he’s tired and I’m not really I can usually make myself fall asleep so sometimes I will go to bed w him but he can’t do the same if I’m tired and he isnt.

Ask him to compromise. Maybe you drain him (not your fault) and he needs alone time every night to unwind . Go half and half . Maybe he can tuck you in for a few mins


Do you go to the hair dresser and get whatever you want done with your hair? Yep. He doesn’t need your permission to do anything with his body or what time he goes to bed. What are you, his mother?

His head his choice. You’re a big girl go to bed and go to sleep.

Yes sorry but you do sound a tad exhausting.
Have you even spoken to him?


You are not married to his head …if i have to ask my husbands permission everytime i change my hair …i would be really pissed off.


Going to bed by yourself is a bigger issue to me. I’d hate that feeling of loneliness, but if it’s for legitimate reasons, such as snoring or sore back, it’s understandable. I’d go sleep in the living room with him. :relieved:

The bald thing – I get it, I truly do. Everyone has their preferences. But imagine if he said the same things about you. “Oh, she coloured her hair and now she looks old and now I’m not attracted to her.” It doesn’t sound great. It would hurt my feelings to hear something like that from my partner.


Ask if he’d come to bed with you at least two nights per week and cuddle for a few minutes before he goes back downstairs.

If you’re worried he’s cheating or has a porn obsession set an alarm and get up and go downstairs one night to check on him. Otherwise, it’s who you married and you can’t change him.

Imagine if the roles were reversed and it was a male on here whinging his wife got a haircut without his permission. We’d all call it CONTROLLING


I don’t think alot of people are getting the point it’s not so much about the haircut and the bed time as much as there’s an underlying problem regarding communication. It seems that they may both be passive (aka just stuff down the feelings so that they can go away) these sort of issues should be talked about in therapy and if he can’t do therapy (there’s a stigma behind it for men) then ask him if you guys can compromise.

P.s. -First of all let me just say this Alot of you are saying “well let’s reverse this and see how girls would react if a man said this to his wife” but what you aren’t understanding iiiis that that literally happens ALL THE TIME I mean for fucks sake did any of you see the news regarding Keke Palmers boyfriend saying she shouldn’t dress a certain way cause she’s a mom? Or Jonah hills texts from his previous relationship policing his girlfriend and trying to shame her into dressing the way he likes? Like I know you guys are not THAT obtuse to really be like"well what if a guy did this?! " news fuckingflash they LITERALLY do it all the time to the POINT it is NORMALIZED in the media, in religion and in MANY CULTURES like bro what stop being so oblivious.

Second of all- talk to any therapist any marriage counselor , feeling attracted to your significant other is a must , some people just aren’t into certain things and I don’t think that should be shamed like at all. Now should she approach him as she approached the internet? Fuck no she needs to get professional help to successfully communicate her preferences in a way that does not hurt him.

Third of all- when you’re in a relationship yes you DO tell your significant other of any chance it’s not a "hey can I get permission " but more of a “hey I know you like to be in the loop so I just wanted to let you know what I’m going to do out of respect” it’s THAT simple. It’s also equally as simple for her to find other ways to become attracted to him again maybe a sensual date Night? Maybe a a little trip to enjoy each other alone? If you really can’t handle him being bald perhaps there is an underlying reason. I know for me I can’t date men who are buffed out or are significantly stronger than me because I’ve dealt with trauma from abusive ex partners. Perhaps try to dive into why you think baldness is unattractive? Perhaps try to view it from his side, he’s getting older maybe he was in denial before and now he’s finally embracing it or even loving every second of it! Weigh both of your emotions and think about truuuuly think about why he did both things without communicating,

Has he always been like this? Is this new? When did it start? Has he made other changes without consoling you first? Have you thought about when he gets home Perhaps asking him about his day and trying to make it about him, while also relaying that you’d also like the same in return. Learn to compromise Perhaps say “hey babe I know you sleep later than me, but i also know that I still want to sleep with you because it gives me that intimate bond that reassures me that you still are here for me so can we meet in the middle? Maybe can you spend an hour in bed with me? Or at least until I fall asleep? I can wear earplugs and an eye mask and u can watch your movie or be on your phone just so long as I can get that affection and reassurance that I need, and in return I can do something for you. I noticed you like your space so maybe every other day we can switch off and I can just leave u be for the whole day until night time?”

Like try to find ways to work around each other. You guys are in it for the long run, don’t let a shiny head and an empty bed ruin your marriage :grin:

All the people saying you’re overreacting, I bet he’d have something to say if you shaved your head without mentioning it to him :grimacing:
A new change like that can be quite shocking, I still remember being traumatised when my dad shaved his moustache haha


I wish I could shave my head n look good lol

There is a difference between a 35 and 45 year old. You will look older at 45 than you do at 35. I guess you didn’t realize this at 20 years old when you met him. In my opinion you don’t have a right to tell him if he can or cannot shave his head. My husband and I use usually went to bed around the same time together years ago. Now that we are in ours 40’s it definitely at different times. I’m not sure why that changed but it did. Doesn’t bother either one of us.

Do you wear your hair like he likes. Long short. My hubby has always liked my hair long hence I wear it long. He has shaved his head before and too am not a fan at all. Glad he wears a ball cap. Naybe buy him a new team ball cap

Do you also request permission to cut or style your hair? And if the bed thing bugs you, hang around until he comes to bed.

It’s his head. Do you ask him before you change hairstyles? If hair is what attracted you to him, you have more issues than a fb group can solve.
Why don’t you join him downstairs, see what he’s doing, initiate a conversation.


I shaved my head without telling my husband. My head, my choice.

I also rarely go to bed with my husband. We have different sleep habits and I often end up falling asleep on the sofa hours after he’s been asleep. We have other ways we connect and feel close to one another. Work it out.


I personally believe there is more something underlying going on here. Perhaps talking it through in couples therapy. I wish you all the best.

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Being upset over his hair us silly… being upset over him never going to bed with you is understandable

You’re dramatic and controlling

My opinion is after years everyone changes it’s not always about how handsome they are but how much you love them. Yes you need an attraction at first but looks fade fast hope he doesn’t feel the same way about you in ten years

Your kidding right it’s his head he can shave it if he wants to not really your choice what he does to his hair.

My husband can shave if he wants or can grow his hair down to his ankles if he wants. He could dye his hair green, bleach it, WHATEVER he wants to do.
Because it is HIS body, HIS hair, and he should do whatever he wants.
It might be a shock in some circumstances, but what matters is that he’s happy with himself first and foremost.

People are weird. 3 things…

It’s his body, he can do whatever he wants.

If you don’t like it communicate that to him. You may not like it while he LOVES it. Just talk to your man.

Remember and respect that it’s HIS body!


Wow. It’s his head. Get over yourself

My husband and I have an agreement. He will never tell me how to wear my hair and I’ll never tell him to shave or grow out his beard…and that extends to his hair as well. That being said we know each others preferences and out of respect wouldn’t do something against it without a convo (as a courtesy). If you don’t feel attracted to him, I question whether you still love him in general or ever did. As far as the bed thing, have a conversation and come to a compromise. Maybe have a half hour of couple time every night at 9, or at least twice a week? If your not connecting as much anymore, that’s probably more the reason you feel less attracted, not so much the hair (or well lack of) itself.


Okay, so first off… his hair will grow back. It’s summertime and maybe he just wanted a change? No big deal. I completely understand feeling shocked over it, but he’s still your husband. It’s just hair.

Secondly, if you are feeling lonely… maybe go downstairs with him some nights. It isn’t fair you want him to go to sleep when he isnt ready. Compromise! Some nights go downstairs with him, some nights he can come up with you. My husband and I have been together 10 years, married 5. When I’m ready for bed, and he wants to stay up I just cuddle up next to him on the couch and fall asleep. When your hubby is ready, I’m sure he will wake you to go get in bed together. Good luck, and remember communication is key! :two_hearts:

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Communication is key. Be upfront and brutal about it.

Kind of sounds like you’re embarrassed that your husband looks old or older than you. In which case, idk why you married an older man.
10 years difference and 45 years old for him…it’s just one of the things that happen. Maybe he feels self conscious about thinning or balding so just got rid of it all…I’m sure your reaction made him feel attractive and loved and confident…

People get older and everything changes. Sleeping habits. Looks. You’re about to find out if you really love this man. :woman_shrugging: if changing his hair makes him repulsive or an embarrassment to you, maybe you’re too young for him and should let him find someone who he can comfortably grow older with.

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So many jumping at you for not liking your husbands hair but I really think it’s the way you wrote it like your husband needs permission from you. I feel your husband should of mention what he was thinking of doing like I feel most couples would do. My husband and I always talk about anything we’re thinking of doing really just to get each other’s opinions. The not going to bed with you I would definitely have to sit down with him and talk about to see what’s wrong. I would feel he has someone else

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I know how you feel. My hubby shaved off,his moustache his had as long as I’ve,known him. Didn’t like that made him look vicious. Lol

Do you ask him before you do anything to your hair

Being upset over the hair is ridiculous. It seems like an “icing on the cake” moment. Where perhaps there’s other things going on and now on top of all of it he shaved his head too.

I went to bed for years earlier than my husband. After he put our son to sleep he’d stay up and play video games for an hour or so with his friends from work. He was his decompression time. Some nights it got to me. But I tried to understand he needed time to blow off steam too. If I was really upset about something though he’d come lay with me for a little while. Or watch a movie with me. Or whatever I wanted to do with him that night before he’d go play.


I can tell that this goes a lot deeper than the hair. Are you feeling like he may be being unfaithful and that’s why he has the new haircut?

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Got put work in and put effort and think to yourself why am I upstairs alone mad when he’s right downstairs he’s still there hasn’t left you gotta put the effort to go downstairs and initiate conversation and see what he’s doing. Don’t get upset he may not know if you don’t tell you know sending love. I hope it works out for the both of you :grin:

The second I have to ASK someone if I can cut my hair is the second you’ll be out. It’s his hair . Do you run every single thing you do to your body by him?

What another does with their body is their choice. You do not need permission from another individual to do anything with their person.


Your husband’s hair will grow back , it’s his hair , why does he need your permission. And my husband and I have been married 20 years , and very rarely , go to bed at same time. What’s the big deal. Aww. Didn’t realize it was a requirement.

My husband messed up shaving his face once and had to shave it all. My brain freaked out…… I told him that I love him so much, but he looks like a completely different person without facial hair and I couldn’t kiss him or anything because of it. My brain literally processed it as someone else, idk why. So I could definitely understand your shock! And if your marriage consists of you needing to run hairstyles, or any changes by him, it’s only right to be reciprocated.

Me and my husband always go to bed at the same time, there’s been a handful of times we haven’t in 5 years. It’s something he always expressed was important, since the beginning of our relationship. I never understood it before but now I do. How can you sleep peacefully when your other half is somewhere else?


What if your husband said the same about you getting a haircut? You’d be pretty upset and I’m sure he’d get dragged for saying something so shallow…it’s his hair….

  1. I just think your wording here is a little off. I don’t believe you meant “ask” as if he needed your permission.
  2. That being said, it is understandable to think such a drastic change would have at the very least been prefaced with a small discussion, if even just a passing comment of, “I’m thinking of shaving my head.” To that point, I understand feeling a little hurt that he didn’t bring it up to you beforehand.
  3. I totally get wanting your S.O. to join you at bedtime. I have a similar situation with mine, and occasionally I just have to ask him flat out to come to bed when passive comments don’t seem to be working.
  4. Overall, I think it’s worth a conversation to tell him if you are feeling neglected/unvalued. Just be sure to approach the conversation with how you are feeling, and not with an accusatory tone toward him like he is doing something wrong.

Dear Silly, Find you a side piece, if he doesn’t want to go to bed with you someone out there will be happy to sleep with you among other things…

Well hair is hair. Itll grow back. Its for some. for some it’s not.
Is he doing this all of a sudden? Or has he done this all your marriage?
If yes then look further into it. Something going on? Cheating? Midlife crisis? (More than likely). Was he trimming/shaving and messed up the hairline so he shaved?
What shift does he work??
Whats he doing? What does he do? Is he playing a game? On the pc? Watching TV?
So many questions.
Not unless he hass a history of cheating and being shadey? leave it be. Im thinking tye not going to bed same time is an all the marriage thing and you need to talk w him or let it go.
10 yrs older than you? Youre a materialistic person and/or insecure. He is older than you so he’s gonna change fast look different. As we age we get heavier. our skin tends to start sagging.our boobs sag also.
Not unless you have money and can afford botox and surgeries.
Get over your self.

Your being dramatic. It’s his body and he doesn’t have to tell you when he’s going to shave his head. Id be willing to bet you would be one to say he can’t tell you what to do with yours.

2nd. Couples need space, that’s probably his time to unwind. Try to compromise that he comes to bed with you a couple of times a week or something but you come off as trying to be controlling/ clingy.

It’s not the fact that he shaved his head bald that’s really bothering you it’s the 10 year age gap because now you said it makes him look way older than you now so it’s you with the issue you are now sub concously worried about what others may think seeing him with you and you with him and clearly realizing the age Gao so sweetie you married a man 10 years older at what point did you not think he would ever look older than you im only 2 years older than my husband of 20 years and guess what I look so much older now but guess what he didn’t switch up on me after I had our kids and my body went to a hot 20 from a hot 10 bahahah so hunny if you love this man then love him with or without hair you are reading to much into that as far as going to bed alone talk to him set it to where he comes ro bed with you at least a couple nights a week talk communication is key and you really need to search deep down and fix your insecurities within your marriage and don’t worry what others think they don’t matter it’s you and him and you have so many more changes to go through before the end take them with grace and laugh at them in the future hunny best of luck

He can do as he pleases with his hair. Do you ask him about your hair and only fo as he says?

The bed thing, maybe he just needs time alone to decompress. Im a lot like this. Im overstimulated all day long and very much need my time alone. Has nothing to do withe not caring… i just need to be alone in quiet. Have you tried sitting downstsirs with him? And having time for just the two of you?

Do you tell or ask him before every new haircut or change in style you make? Maybe he wanted a change or just to see your honest reaction :person_shrugging: either way it’s hair n grows back :person_shrugging:

You seem to be annoying :roll_eyes: Maybe he thinks so too.

Issue one: do you expect him to love you no matter what you look like? Get over it.
Issue two: you just discovered this after 15 years of living together? Get over it.


Maybe he cut it just to try something different. This is his heah his hair. It’s cooler for the summer. Let it go. He might not like it either & will let it grow back. Who knows. Stop nit picking. You married him ,you don’t own him give it a rest!!! People on fb are not Psychiatrist or mind readers. You are setting your self up for bigger Issues. Stop now. Enjoy your family. Tell him how you feel about going to bed alone every night. Don’t start something you can’t stop!

You are very controlling, if he feels very bald, that’s fine, if you don’t want to go to bed alone, wait for it, being a couple does not mean that you have to control what the other does all the time, love must go beyond the hair you have or not.

Its his hair but you are allowed an opinion on it. I’ve been married to my husband hustva year and he dorsbt always go to bed at same time as me or likes to watch TV in a seperate room it’s how we work though. Talk to him about how you’re feeling and the issues you feel are affecting your relationship xx

Do u ask him if it’s ok if u gain weight? Change your hair style? If u can wear something? And yes; stay down stairs and see what is up!

Imagine if this were the other way around and he was mad at you for not getting permission to cut your OWN hair… and then complaining to the world about how unattracted he is to you bc of it. Issue one and two: you’re the issue.

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That’s such a drastic change, it would have been nice if he would have mentioned it before hand. It sounds to me like he is going through some kind of mid life crisis.


You are very controlling, if he feels very bald, that’s fine, if you don’t want to go to bed alone, wait for it, being a couple does not mean that you have to control what the other does all the time, love must go beyond the hair you have or not.

Maybe he feels closed off because of things you have said or done? I mean nobody should have to ask for permission from their significant other to change their hair, so the fact that you feel he should have, just makes me wonder if maybe something else is the cause of him not going to bed with you

About the head thing? Yes. It’s his head, his to do with as he wishes. And as for you saying you’re not attracted to him because of that makes you sound shallow. About the bed thing? I feel you on that, because it’s happening to me and mine right now

So basically he has to ask you for permission to do something to his own hair? Do you ask him for his permission when you get your haircut??? And he has to go to bed when when you want to go to bed- you don’t and can’t control another person!


Communicate how you feel about issues you are having, it’s as simple as that.

I think you get the picture about his hair from other comments. Bed time: do you guys eat dinner together or talk in the evening at all? If yes you absolutely need to get over it! I can’t imagine living like that
People like alone time it’s healthy. It’s unhealthy to guilt spouses into going to bed when they don’t want to a spouse is not your child. It’s not a “comprimisable” situation I don’t think any adult should be forced to lay down with the other.


Dude, the fact you think someone else needs to ask your permission before doing something to their look, is SCARY.

Could you imagine if the tables were turned “My wife didn’t ask my permission before cutting her hair short”, people would FLIP!

The bed thing is normal for some people. My fiancé and I work very different schedules as I work in a school and he works delivery, so we rarely go to bed at the same time, but for us it’s a necessity.

Have you tried talking to him about why he doesn’t want to go to bed with you?