You absolutely need to see all the bills and know what’s being paid and not. I was married once and my husband said he’d pay all the bills just give him my paycheck and I’ll always have what I need. WRONG. I ended up being in debt $7,000 when he left me. Because he wasn’t paying lot rent or dte and I had no idea of this until after he left. He also had the gas turned on illegally, the only thing that saved me was the that I had no idea, otherwise they were going to put me in jail , and I had to pay all that money because I was his wife and still in the house and he wasn’t. So please please don’t let anything like this happen to you.
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The first red flag is that he doesn’t let you deal with money…
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Sketchy. 
I deal with bills but I tell my spouse. Hiding stuff seems a very bad ground for marriage
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Let him know it’s ok you have no problem helping with the household bills. It sounds like he was trying to be the man and do it all so you can have it easy.
Just talk to him let him know you can help and you want to help and it doesn’t make him less then man
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marriage is a partnership and hw isn’t being a good partner at all by not “letting” you know about the bills
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Been there. Call every single place that you know he makes a payment too. Car, utilities, mortgage, credit cards, and you don’t have to have his permission. Go to your bank, ask for statements. Ours printed mine off for a year for free and after that it was a small fee per page.
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Im sorry what?! I wouldn’t allow separate bank accounts go close his get and see what can be done start calling any places you have credit cards with and other accounts to make sure they aren’t negative-
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Get to the bank and open your own acct. Then call each the utility company and all other bills you deal with, set them up on your account only.
That’s a start . Next get a job !!
Lastly deal with husband and make some strong ground rules . Take back your independence!!
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Are u sure he’s not an addict
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He has shown you who he really is.
Believe him the first time. Your feelings are important to so you must decide how you are going to live. Sometimes the upgrade is being alone for a time. Wish for you the happiest of life
Okay it’s the “let me” part that’s got me fked up? How does one not let you??? I don’t work I’m a sahm but me and hubs work together on bills and he always lets me know what we have going on. He supposed to be your partner so there for y’all are a team. The fact that he’s hiding that your car is getting ready to be repoed screams issues. Why would he not want you to be part of the money or bills what’s he hiding, obviously he’s not paying them… I think you need to step up and demand a bigger part in your finances…
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Pay what you owe to get it out of repossession and them monitor your bills closely. Get the account numbers and have them send you e-bills.
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This is why I do the bills!!! My husband use to spend way too much when we first started dating, $300 easy in a week on the gas stations food, energy drinks, coffee and chew 
he still lived at home with mommy. I never had the luxury to spend like that, we were pretty poor growing up. And I moved out the day I turned 18! So budgeting was always a thing. So he works and leaves it all to me to budget and give him what he can spend that week.
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Leave.
It’s only going to get weirder.
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What is he doing w the money?
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This is why I don’t depend on a man to take care of me. Get you a job girl and start handling your own business.
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And you allow yourself to know nothing about YOUR finances? Is he the only money maker? Why??
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Does not let you? Seems kinda strange. I wonder what else he’s hiding from you? I get that he probably doesn’t want to worry you BUT it could be more than that! Start doing your research!
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Sounds like your husband is a control freak. How can he NOT LET you be part of the finances? Not to be mean but marriage is 50/50 and sadly what you have allowed will continue.
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Call the car payment company speak with then figure out payment plan if they take car you will have to pay towing storage it will add up and become impossible to get back if you speak with them they will try to help you
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Even if he’s paying the bills he should bring talking to you about them
Doesn’t let you? Yeah that would be a hard NO for me. Girl, put your foot down and get your bank login to check your bills.
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Yikes, I would look into that and where the moneys going if he does well enough working that all of your bills should be paid. Maybe moneys been short and he is picking what to pay and didnt want to freak you out. Either way, you should know.
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l Get paid over $108 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $15346 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://IncomeGreat52.pages.dev/
Sounds like you need to get control back over yourself and not leave it up to another adult to dictate that. You’re a woman and a wife … doesn’t LET YOU DEAL WITH BILLS? That sounds like he’s buying snatch with those funds to me …
Mmmm get you a job like any normal human being lol and stop living off a man
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“Let you?”
That is your first problem…
Get a job and get out!
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Ok. Stay calm. Be understanding. Do not go to him ready to fight, yelling and screaming. I understand why you’re mad. But. This is a male ego thing. Careful not to breakdown your husband. He didn’t want to admit HE was struggling to do what he feels is his responsibility. Let him know you want to help. You’re ok with cutting back on spending. Find out what changed. Did he take a pay cut or is he getting less hrs? You need to know what is owed where. Maybe approach it like, if you ever got sick I need to know. Let him know you love him no matter what and you are here to help. He’s still the provider, breadwinner, man of the house. But his help mate is willing to help. Come up with a plan together!!!
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Right now its tough with the price of everything going up so high. Sometimes we have to decide if were going to eat or pay a bill.
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Definitely approach him in a manner where he’s not going to immediately get defensive about it. Just say “hey, I know your taking care of the bills, and I appreciate that, but someone came here today looking for the car” then you need to tell him that you would like to start being involved a little more with the bills since you are married and you know things can get missed with a busy schedule. Is there anyway you could go to the bank and get some statements? There could be a number of things going on, and you definitely don’t want to be involved in that if it’s something more serious. 9/10 times if a man is hiding something that he doesn’t want you to know about, there’s usually a pretty good reason why he wouldn’t want you to see where money is going
No, no, no! When it comes to household bills both should be involved, what if he was to get in an accident or worse died. What would you do? Even if he is the primary, you should also have access. Most companies give the spouse information unless he also put a password, if that is the case you need to get your chit together and leave.
l Get paid over $108 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $15346 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://IncomeGreat78.pages.dev/
I would make him to get you involved your married and you need to know whats going on just incase anything happens in your future your held accountable too x
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My hubby has done the same. I sit down with him and ask for a budget prior to going to the grocery store. We are on a single income, his, due to my health issues and although I do craft shows and have signed up to sub teach neither venture bring in much. I know my hubby won’t tell me because he loves me & doesn’t want me to worry. I’m on a special diet, lots of intolerances & allergies & I need expensive foods gluten & corn free etc. So with cost of groceries we are tight. I will not buy much food that I need and go into panic mode when I know we are tight. I’m not good with numbers but I finally pushed him to understand it was causing me so much stress to not know what & when expenses went out for bills. It got so I refused to buy food til we sat down & did budget. We still fight some but right now it is better. We don’t have much but I can usually come up with semi creative healthy cheap meals. The most important crucial factor is honest & open communication. He likely is in over his head and you as a couple must sit down and make a budget. You need to know. It took me a long tíme to get my hubby to share. He seems so much less stressed now that I’m aware. It has also forced me to stop spending extraneously. I rarely put extras in cart and I think about every purchase and I not buying as much willy nilly. Good luck and prayers
Get a job & help out
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From experience…
You need to know exactly what’s going on in the bills you need to know what company and your account numbers everything you need to have him show you
because what happens if he dies today?? 
I’m not joking, when my husband decided he won’t he wanted to divorce, I had to go get my own place I had no idea that you had to turn the electric and gas on in an apartment building:flushed:
i’m not joking and I was a manager at a retail store and I still didn’t understand the fact that electric and gas didn’t come with the rent an apartment complex because I had never lived in one and I had never dealt with any bills. 
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What do you mean he doesn’t let you? That should be something you both discuss and take care of together.
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Oh girl. My EX did this…was home with a newborn and a deputy knocked on our door with eviction papers…that was the start of my nightmare. Start looking at mail, call places figure out the big picture. Figure out where money is and is not going.
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Doesn’t “let” you? Lady, you are grown. You should be handling the bills as well. There is obviously a reason he doesn’t LET you…and now you know.
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This is why I handle everything! But I also have been on my own since I was young so it became a security thing for me.
But you should be able to take part in it forsure ! my other half just gives me money and I take care of everything and he pays his own bills but I include him in reading the bills and everything but he just lets me take care of it because it makes me feel better, but his opinion on things is still included.
Going forward you should take part in the bills and know what’s going on. that’s not fair to you. if he doesn’t let you, then I’d be thinking about walking ou the door. it’s your life/lifestyle and home Too. What he doesn’t do, effects you.
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You’re letting him control you. Why? I know someone who dud that and when he died,she almost lost her house and car because her name wasn’t on anything
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You r not making it in one income. If they repo the car, you’ll be hard pressed to find financing fir anything in the future. I’d get out the classified and get a job. Even if it’s just for a while.
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your 100 percent correct Jennifer both need to be aware of what is going on with the bills, Is he hiding something from you? What is he doing he doesn’t want you to know about. Just saying
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Let him deal with the stress keep your money and buy your own things that way you know roughly how much each bill is gonna cost each week every 2 weeks or on a monthly basis
Damn that’s crazy.
You NEED to know what’s going on
Ha, Im the one who handles the bills because my husband always forget…
Both should know all bills. You best be looking into your other bills. Like car instead along with all utilities
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Divorce your husband if he don’t let you look at bills or try and fix it . If not He won’t change . Mail comes open it read the bills. I had to take away the bills from my husband. He could not manage money or bills . His credit was in the toilet . I took over . His credit ratings went up no bill collectors or repo .
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Divorce is what you need. A man controlling you, it’s more tragic than the car situation.
Tell him he’s fired and you will take over.
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She should never have him control the finances without him sharing with her.
It is her responsibility to know what is going on.
If he died tomorrow how would she know or understand her finances
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Red flags that’s how it starts I’m sure he behind on everything. Don’t be shocked if u wake up one day and he’s gone. Also u said husband?!? So that tells me u need to work and get your own money and don’t let him be involved with that money
Gotta look out for yourself. I have seen this shyt over and over. Gotta make your own money and I’m not saying it for to help him pay his bills. Get your own and when shyt does fall apart u are good and have your own shyt. It’s better to be by yourself then with someone and still feel like your by yourself. He don’t want u involved with the bank accounts then don’t let him in on yours. This isn’t good and I hope u see it and make your own money. Either theirs drugs, gambling, or other women. One or all three. Mark my words.
Take over doing the bills !!!
When I was 22 I lost my husband in a car accident. We were both involved in paying bills. My sister came to me and said this really woke her up. Her husband took care of all their finances and did a good job. She realized that if something would of happened to him she would of had no idea when what was do or how much. She took a part from then on in the monthly finances. So not only does participation in the finances allow you to be aware when there is a problem or delinquent bill but can save you from being lost if something were to happen.
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Lock it in garage when your home. Also pay wjat you can as you can asap . You dint habe to pay repo fee if they dint have it
Have you tried contacting the utility companies ? They can at least tell your balance on those and it might take a bit of investigating for anything else, but you will know where you stand with those
Start opening the mail and be sure to contact all your banks and creditors. Let this be a lesson to all spouses. Always make it a point to know your financial circumstances at all times.
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