My question is for moms that husband’s work rotation shifts. My husband 20 on and 10 off , for those 10 days off he doesnt help with any house work. It’s all still on me… but he will make snarky comments about the work not being up to parr. Which it always is. Somethings I let slide. His excuse is when have kids who are more then capable to help out with more chores. my question is … do your husband’s help out when home or do they just leave it all up to you…
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Of course, he should help.
My husband always does his share, he doesn’t ‘help me’. We both work full time and have 1 kid.
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My husband absolutely 100% helps around the house. He works full time. I work full time plus a second job. Our household is a team/partnership. Our kids also have jobs around the house. The snarky comments would end us. Serious communication and expectations need to be set.
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I’d be mad. Husband and wife are supposed to be a team. Inside the home, raising kids, & outside the home - team. Running a home and taking care of kids is a 24/7 job. No break. No days off. Just because he works, doesn’t mean he’s exempt from helping around the house that he also lives in. If he can help make the mess, he can help clean it. If he can help create the children, he can help raise them. Teach those kids what it actually means to be a loving, supportive husband and father.
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Then don’t wash his stuff, don’t cook for him, don’t clean up after him. Only worry about what you and your kids use 
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We made a verbal agreement that I would be the main housekeeper and meal maker bc he’s working 60hr weeks and I’m home all day long. In my eyes that seems fair to me. The weekends he will do laundry, clean the floors and do all the outside stuff I don’t like doing. It depends on the relationship I think. If your not happy with the role your in I would have a sit down calm conversation about how you feel about doing everything and try and come up with a better way to go about getting and keeping your household clean and kids cared for.
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My husband doesn’t ‘help’ me - we work as a team to raise a family and run a household. It’s not helping me; it’s being a human living in a house and doing what needs to be done.
I would sit down and have a conversation about how you understand that when he is away that you have all the household tasks on your plate. However when he’s home the expectation is that the tasks can be shared since he is there. If he’s not really getting it, then ask him specifically to do some things. Honestly I know both men and women who don’t know how to run a household and a family and since they don’t really know what to help with or haven’t helped before they feel they can’t step in. So maybe make it clear. In the morning before leaving for work ask specifically if he can do task A, B, C.
My husband helps with certain things. Or helps when Im over stimulated on life. Ur husband shouldn’t make any comments about how anything looks cuz he isn’t the one cleaning it. He should be ur partner 50/50 u shouldn’t have to do everything by urself that’s not what marriage is
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Nope. Our 8 year old daughter helps me. Rarely. I do it. Because he’s got his own job.
Yes my husband does help. You two are a team. Stop letting him down play and belittle what you do. Running a home and taking care of a family is hard work. Stop doing it and see how he likes it.
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Everything should be 50/50 always
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My husband still helps significantly and I only work 40 hours a month and he works 40 hours a week. He takes turns with dishes and laundry, picks up, helps with supper, making sure the kids shower and getting them to bed. I do all of the appointments and most of the sweeping vacuuming, bathrooms and random needs. Your husband is failing you
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Last time I saw a post like this I commented how my hubby works full time and still comes home and helps me with dinner and tidy up and with the kids. I DO NOT ASK ! He just helps because he wants to. I was totally attacked for writing this. I have also been the one who’s worked while he’s stayed home and I also got home and still contributed and helped him clean, cook and take care of the children. You’re a team no matter what right ?
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To answer yes my fiancé when home does household things. During the day I do a lot of the chores but when he’s home and the kids are home he contributes.
Also it is your husbands house too. If you didn’t live with him he’d still have to maintain the household. So to not do ANYTHING when home that’s ridiculous. If he gets to clock out you get a break too.
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We both do the chores me and my husband to be have you explained to your Mr it’s supposed to be 50/50
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I let my husband know what he can do to help, he does not say no, ever! Having a family takes 2 people. Some people aren’t as lucky as other and have no choice but to do it themselves. But if that were my husband, I’d be kicking his butt to the curb, I’ll do it alone alone, before I do it alone with my partner…my husband does it and never complains! Even if he’s worked a full 8-10 he comes home and helps with dishes and bedtime routines!
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i divorced for the same reason
He leaves it up to me and I’m fed up to
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My fiancé helps and probably does more than me some days. I don’t have to ask he just sees something needs done and he does it. And we both work full time jobs
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Those ten he’s off I would tell him is the 10 all the house chores now fall on him since they aren’t up to par…He can show you and the kids what “par” is.
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I was in a group and someone posted on this topic and they said if a man is the sole provider he shouldn’t lift one finger and we should continue to work and get no breaks smh
do you work or pay bills? if not let the man rest
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I’m petty I would just stop the chores
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If he’s working 20 on, I would not expect my husband to do house stuff unless I can’t do it myself. The 10 off can be his day where he can get what he needs to get done and if I need help, obviously I would ask. If the kids are younger, spend some time with the kids as well. I don’t think that’s really on him on the 20hr shift.
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My husband absolutely does his part as a human that lives in a home with others. I will not call it help cause that sounds like it is my job. And it isn’t.
They are men they never do their share!
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Mine never helped me . I am sorry 
mine helps. your husband’s entitlement is very telling of what a child he is
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My husband will not help with anything to do with inside the house. He has never washed a pan. He had to have a grill and has made Hamburgs twice in 5 or more years. I have been ill with cancer the past 7 years and he still won’t lift a finger he says I have a daughter living at home she can help. She does help but that’s not the point why can’t he help? When kids were young I worked fulltime nights took care of kids which one was his niece living with us payed bills cooked and cleaned took kids to games friends doctor dentist and he never did a thing I lived on 4 to 5 hours sleep a day but he always got his 8-9 hours sleep. If I was sleeping and he was home he would wake me up to help him outside. I grew to hate him
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Yeah……no…no to this whole man.
I would enjoy those 20 day while he is at work .
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I would suddenly take a trip to go visit mom or grandma on your own and let him take care of the house and kids over those 10 days and then he’ll see all the work you do😉
My husband works full time and I stay home with our 6 kids. 3 of our kids are in school, so I have 3 home all day with me. He does the grocery shopping and typically cooks dinner the nights he is home. When he sees me falling behind with things, which I typically do, he picks up where I’m lacking. He has said numerous of times that he understands why I can’t keep up. Even though I’m home, I’m tending to a 1 yr old, 3 yr old, and 4 yr old. When the older kids get home, I’m running them to their activities, etc. It leaves small windows for me to get anything finished in its entirety. Your husband needs to be helping rather than belittling. I would suggest sitting down and making a chore chart you both think is suitable for your kids. I have a schedule for what gets washed each day and it definitely helps stay caught up. Thinking of you!!
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He fixes things. Doing a basement Reno now and second bathroom. I’m happy with our arrangement…team
I always did everything in the house. My husband did the outside stuff. My house was always neat. I want everything done a certain way
He works 20hrs per shift
Did everyone miss that?
He used to till I snapped 
plus being laid off from Covid kinda put into perspective how much crap I had to deal with (while pregnant) and he started helping me after. Just cause he works doesn’t mean he can’t help you with house stuff. Do the stuff for you and kids…leave stuff for him not done see how fast he starts helping
Kids or not. My man still helps out around the house. Even before he goes to work in the mornings, he sees something he will clean it, when he gets home from work, he cooks, helps clean and do other things. We are a team.
How old are your kids ?
If they are over the age of 7
There is no reason why they can’t do chores
There is no reason why your hubby can’t or won’t help out around the house
If he still refuses and your kids won’t do chores
Tell them the women’s union has
Called a work to rule ban
And you are only allowed to do the bare minimum domestic chores and your kids needs
Until your demands are met
Give him an ultimatum
Either get up and help
Or live in his filth
As for the kids if they decide not to do chores they loose privileges
Honestly do you want your kids to grow up thinking this is ok
And continue they cycle
Or do you want to break the cycle
And teach your kids
That’s not how not to treat their partners
Only you can make that choice
Maybe disappear for 10 days on a girl’s trip…
id being goin on a week strike 
Mine works. I stay home with the 4 kids and go to school online. He doesnt help.
I’m not working at the moment had baby 4 months ago and 3 kids from previous relationships but I make babies dad help me get sorted when he’s in from work even though he works 5am-5pm theirs no excuses in my book we are both busy and tired.
If I don’t work I asked for nothing except yard work, if I had a job then we both done the house… kids had to clean up their rooms!
Hire a house cleaning service.
That’s just so sad… those aren’t men, those are boys who just want a mommy and not a wife. Tell him to get off his ass and clean up after himself and his kids. You’re not a maid.
I wish women would stop falling for men like this. Or at least learn to leave when you realize they’re so awful.