My Husband Does Not Want Our Kids Around My Friend Who Has Seizures: Advice?

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"I will try to make this as short as possible; a very good friend of mine has been STRUGGLING the last 6-7 years; parents died, siblings are assholes and won’t help, divorce, ex won’t pay child support, seizures, brain tumor and cancer, Job loss, eviction… and the list goes on. She beat the cancer but has a residual tumor, which can cause seizures at any given moment. Sunday she 20 and had to be hospitalized. We live 3 hours away from her and I try to help when and how I can. I have a hubby and a 3 and 5-year-old. We will be visiting this weekend and I told my hubby I was thinking of having her stay with us for two nights so I can take her grocery shopping and keep an eye on her. She shouldn’t be alone, in case of another seizure. He told me that he was ok with us getting her groceries but he did not think it was a good idea for the kids to be around someone who could potentially have a seizure. He says it would be too impactful/traumatic for them and that we shouldn’t willingly expose them to that type of situation. I feel that if we talk to them first they will understand. She has not had my seizures since she was hospitalized. I have not offered this to my friend yet, so she would not be disappointed, but she had no family that will help and a VERY small friend circle. I feel like my hubby is being unreasonable, but could he be right? Add: he said that if I decided to take her to the house he would just take the kids somewhere else those days to stay with them"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Although it could potentially scare your kids, it could also teach them what to do in cases of seizures. However I wouldn’t avoid having a friend stay with me or even be around my kids just because they have seizures - it just sounds really $hitty honestly"

"I honestly am not sure why people shield their kids from the bullshit that goes on in the world. If the parents didn’t make it a big deal, they would never know the difference. Seizures happen, children need to know about them. Periods happen, children need to know about them. Shootings happen, need ta know about them. Pedo’s exist, need to know about them. Etc. You get the point. Husband is wrong."

"My son has epilepsy. My older kids have been around it for 8 years. It hasn’t traumatized them. Yes they get scared but they still live with him and treat him like they should not like someone to be scared of them."

"Your husband is being selfish and unreasonable. He is uncomfortable around your friend and is using the children as an excuse. He is totally wrong!"

"That’s called ableism. People have health conditions and disabilities and it is important to teach children that we are all different and that’s ok."

"I am a full-time single mum to 6 children and one of my children also has seizures and I have seizures because we have seizures doesn’t make us any less of a person we just have to deal with life differently to people that don’t your husband is wrong he needs to zip is mouth has one day he could develop seizures and would he like it if the tables were turned sure he wouldn’t shame on your husband."

"It’s literally a part of life. Adults and kids don't have the luxury of stopping them. It's something kids should be aware of as well. What if they were alone with dad and he had a seizure? They would know the signs and know what to do without freaking out or panicking. I'd explain that to him… As someone who's had seizures, I wish I didn't. I wish other people didn’t have to see me have one just as much as I wish I didn't have them."

"Your husband is wrong in my opinion. I have epilepsy and 2 children aged 2 and 8. They have learned empathy kindness and compassion from my seizures."

"I think you are right to explain it and what it means. It is a great way to explain that people are different and sometimes need a helping hand."

"Your husband is a huge jerk. What if you developed seizures? What if he did?"

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