I went thru this exact thing with my ex husband… Even on our wedding night! I’m sorry I know it is very frustrating
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That’s bullshit,she has needs n expectations also…it’s supposed to be mutual not one sided!!!
Sounds like he is on opioids.
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I think I would be asking…what do you need me for? He will start cheating I think if you cut him off. Talk to him again. Communication is the backbone of any relationship.
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He’s not able to get off more than one time a day? That’s weird…and he might have something going on. I think it’s weird he’s only able to 
one time a day. And besides…it’s his body. Why are you allowed to dictate what he can and can’t do with it?
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It’s called DE ( Delayed Ejaculation)
It’s caused by porn addiction.
When Men spend 75% of their sexual life jerking off/fantasizing to porn….it often rewires their brain making it difficult to experience natural pleasures & leads to emotional disconnect with their spouse.
Is he in antidepressants or any medications that could be affecting down there? Sex is more than just doing the deed. There has to be an emotional connection. He should be able to orgasm once a day. If he’s getting off by himself than with you he’s got some issue. I don’t think porn is it. Maybe he’s not that into it in the time frames he does it? I mean he does have the right to pleasure himself wether you think you have enough sex. I wouldn’t cut him off because it sounds like there are other issues going on. Just keep communicating until you get to the bottom of it. I’d look into couples therapy.
Sounds like your schedules clash. When he’s ready you arent. He takes care of himself and is spent when you are ready to go. Sounds like a timing thing. I could be wrong. Maybe a little compromise to meet his timing needs as well?
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Yah just stop and the space will give him time to miss the real thing.
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all i can say is… if i wasn’t satisfied sexualy then i wouldn’t stay with that person. sex is a huge part of relationships for me, and i would be leaving. i don’t think he’s doing anything wrong at all, but if you are not happy then speak up about it. it also probably has nothing to do with him having a wank or watching porn either, i know a man who has a huge addiction to porn and having wanks but he’s still able to finish during sex.
Clearly he is having issues and you are getting annoyed? It is kind of shitty and you’re probably making the problem worse.
Wow! Poor guy. He is asking you for it, you said “schedule an appt” pretty much. Is he suppose to just be miserable because it doesn’t suit your feelings? You rather control him and perhaps push him to hide things from you than to try to understand his needs. He on the other hand is still having intercouse with you, so what’s the problem? Perhaps try new things to excite him, spice it up instead of making both your lives miserable.
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Aw shucks. I wouldn’t worry about whether HE gets off when having sex with you. If he’s satisfied with his sex life (with you and/or with his hand), the question I would ask is, “Are YOU satisfied with YOUR sex life?” In other words, is he getting YOU off? That seems to be the only issue YOU need to address. If YOU’re happy and HE’s happy, what’s the problem?
I think it’s a bunch of Bullshit that he can Jack off to porn and get off to other woman and not get off to you his wife!!! Sounds like he is not physically attracted to you anymore. Ask him…. Something is off with him…
I doubt very seriously it’s because he is pleasing himself men can ejaculate and have sex again and still ejaculate again were an older couple in our mid and late 40’s with 2 kids at home iam very sick and in and out of hospital we go months at a time without sex and I know my husband pleases himself regularly because of this but even if he has pleasured himself an hour before if I feel well enough and can physically do it he still has no issue finishing up it may take him a little longer than it would have if he hadn’t just done that a couple hours prior but he still finishes the only time we ever had a problem with finishing was when he drank to much to often well he doesn’t drink anymore it’s been 20 years of marriage and 4 kids later you have to have communication in your marriage and if your voicing your concerns and he sees no issue then I would look into therapy for you both to figure out where the problem is either he is doing this multiple times a day wich would lead me to believe he is having some addiction to the point or the mixture of the 2 or he is cheating or thinking about another woman either way you have some issues in your marriage that need attention immediately head high baby girl your beautiful and he should be thankful that you care enough to complain about it lol good luck hunny
depends on if it is girl porn or male porn maybe
There’s gotta be more to it… he should be able to cum more than once a day. And don’t put too much thought or worry into the jerking off. Most guys do this daily. It doesn’t mean much.
Most men are able to do that more than once a day… maybe the attraction isn’t the same, talk to each other about what y’all can do to fix it
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So I mean that’s pretty normal depending on the man. But if you’re not in the mood when he is… why are you not allowing him to take care of it? I mean if you don’t like it you could always make a game out of it if he’s interested. Tease him with pictures, texts etc but tell him that he has to wait (again if he’s ok doing this-consent is still a thing in marriage and he’s still in Charge of his own body). If he’s interested-try to make time. Idk about anybody rose but if my S.O. Told me no when I was trying to be intimate it would hurt me, I would respect their wishes though and go take care of it myself… as he’s been doing
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He may have a pornography addiction. That is a major symptom of it.
Why do you have to wait for your kids to leave? Lock your door put the TV on don’t get mad I’d he wants to and you don’t.
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Maybe you should fuck his dad instead
Maybe it’s a syncing issue… sounds like. Pleasing himself doesn’t have anything to do with it. I think it’s the timing, and he may just not be “in the mood” at that particular moment, but also wants to take care of your needs…
It could be medications he’s taking, or his diet possibly? Does he have any health issues like diabetes or High blood pressure?? People go through rough patches, you’ll work it out, but you both have e to openly communicate, and not make demands.
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Sounds to me like he still wants to have sex with you 
2/5 times a week AND he asks for it? The man literally wants to have sex and you say “not right now”. I know damn well my parents have done the deed while we were home. Its not an uncommon thing to do when you have gremlins running around. Honestly, it may have NOTHING to do with you as to why he can’t get off. Also, not being able to finish can be extremely frustrating. It definitely kills a man’s ego and not only that the sexual frustration sometimes is hard to deal with. The fact he “takes care of himself” is because its his body so he KNOWS how to pleasure himself fairly efficiently (not that you don’t). My boyfriend doesn’t finish every time and neither do I. Sometimes penetration doesn’t work but hands only does. We try to take care of each others needs every time no matter how much time and effort, but sometimes we just can’t. It doesn’t hinder our relationship or sex life because we have strong communication. We know why the other can’t finish sometimes. We’ve talked about. Maybe talk about it with your husband and help find a comfortable solution. I can’t give insight on him watching porn and how it makes you feel, unfortunately. When my boyfriend feels the need to take care of himself or I feel the need to take care of me, we just look at and watch pictures and videos of each other. Communicate and find out what works best for BOTH of you.
So if your daughter didn’t have to go by the aunt, you’d have rejected him completely then??
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Completely stopping sex won’t help, it’ll make things much worse.
Also, you rejected him in the morning, so… why wouldnt he have jerked off?
Perhaps your mental health issues as well play more into this situation as well.
This issue took TWO people to get to, not just your man.
Maybe you should of had sex when he woke you up my husband gets off every time we have sex and probably because he can have it any time he wants
Seems like he’s trying when you want to even when he doesn’t want to but you aren’t there when HE wants to. So not only are you not giving into his needs, but you’re upset he does it himself, then you’re mad when he doesn’t get off for you? On your time? Like are YOU getting off though? He’s obviously putting you first.
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He may need to see a doctor. Taking care of himself can desensitized him from the real thing. I think there’s more here without being mean I would suggest some couples therapy. I do it when children are home. I make sure they’re in bed though. You are presenting yourself as very unavailable. I think some couples therapy could help convey each other’s feelings in a safe environment.
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It may not be an issue for some but when it comes to not fulfilling your SO’s needs bc of it then it’s a problem. I would start taking care of myself and leave him out of it. See how he likes it. That goes both ways. 
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why are you asking such a question here? Get some Christian counseling… any counseling besides fakebook.
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My ex was like that… Turns out he smoked meth… So …
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Get yourself some toys and let him watch you 
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You have already made a decision not to be there for him he is already half way out the door
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Girl don’t listen to these people!!! her saying no this one time doesn’t mean she does it all the time an she clearly stated he watches porn all the time ! The truth is watching that shit all of the time desensitizes you to what you have in front of you bc you live in fantasy land and get accustomed to it. Give him a choice
I think the more important question is are YOU? Medications can make that super hard and as long as he’s going the distance to help you cross the finish line, and he’s still enjoying himself along the way…
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That’s not how that works
Masturbating hours earlier should not prevent him from climaxing during sex
As long as he’s getting you off when you have sex then I don’t see the issue. I can only assume you’re not teenagers anymore and if that’s the case, and he wants to get off to porn before having sex and he doesn’t get off from the sex, it’s likely because he already did. If he’d rather get off that way and then make sure you get off during sex, at least you’re both getting some and finishing.
Ask him about it. What type of porn is he watching? Maybe he wants you to try some new stuff or what he’s watching porn to type of thing? That’s my guess.
Crap happens, I’d ask him before each time if he’s relieved himself 
and if he’s like why do you ask tell him bc I don’t want to have sex if your not going to get off. Or you could be greedy and get off yourself and be done. If he’s not going to get off take advantage and take care of you.
You turned him down and told him later.
You can’t be upset with the consequences of your own choice.
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You turned him down while he was in the mood and you getting shitty because he sorted himself out, after you pretty much blew him off and told him later on today.
Maybe be spontaneous and do it out of nowhere dont blame him for pleasuring himself
If you’ve talked to him about it and nothing has changed then maybe consider telling him you’re no longer in the mood because you took care of yourself earlier every time he asks for sex. Maybe he will see that taking care of one self can become a problem for the other.
Is he on any new meds?
So I think there’s a lot that could be said about this but let me start by saying I also work third shift and it takes a toll on sexual health.
It’s strange to me that the example you gave is one where you denied his request, got upset at him for doing something you previously said you approved of, and then made the issue about your pleasure.
It’s entirely possible that dealing with third shift is taking its toll but it also sounds like a pressure filled environment when you try. You suggest stopping sex with him as punishment which is manipulative behavior especially if like you said you’re ok with him looking at porn (you obviously aren’t)
Maybe next time he asks for sex you could compromise.
For all the comments blaming her, for everyone saying SHE TURNED HIM DOWN!!! Yes she put her child before some pos man!!! How dare she??? 
Now we have a better understanding of the kind of people in here, for real! You are NOT a mom if you think putting out for your other half is more important than your kids! I’m very disgusted by the comments on this post. And ya’ll call yourself moms? 
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If he’s able to get an erection, but not have an orgasm, it could be a health issue.
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Why are you talking about this on fb … Go see a DR AN TO ME ITS NOT SEX ITS MAKING LOVE …
Some people are sloowwww 
. He has no medical condition! He’s relieving himself often. When she wants to be with him, he’s not exactly living up and delivering to his full potential. That’s DEF AN ISSUE!! Ijs most these females being hateful making snark remarks, they may only do missionary, idk .
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Once again why come to fb with this? Madam, please. The problem is porn.
Your husband is pleasing himself probably on videos where the individuals already committed suicide due to being used up and abused in the porn industry.
For as long as he watches porn, your marriage will break and be destroyed. Porn is disgusting and the devil’s playground.
But if he only lasted 30 seconds, this comment thread would be totally different
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Try talking to him about it again and tell him how you feel
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I was in a relationship with a guy who first made me feel awful about my healthy sexual appetite. Said that I wanted it too much, then as our relationship went on, he complained that our sex was too vanilla. It wasn’t until after our relationship was over that I found out that he was jerking off every night after I would go to bed and all day on his day off, so he wasn’t in the mood, felt bad for his addiction, and/or wasn’t turned on enough by normal people sex and wanted what he saw in porn, but instead of trying to fix what we had with a woman who wanted nothing more than to please him, he just made me feel horrible and blamed me for everything. Fuck him. Let him take care of himself with his porn if that’s what he wants, and I’m sure it’s not a medical condition besides only being able to get off a certain amount of times a day
Selfish that’s what he is
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Jesus don’t be petty and get therapy
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I dont blame you for feeling upset…i would too because if he is having sex with you but not cums and then cums later when watching porn i would start to wonder what is wrong with me …?o even if you give him a bj he still doesnt cum…you have a major problem on your hands…so i would let him watch you with toys and stop having sex for a bit and see if anything changes…maybe you two need to check out getting therapy because you have already tried talking with him and nothing has changed…there are deeper issues going on here…
All I’m gonna say is, as long as you get yours I wouldn’t worry if he gets his 
sounds fucked up to say it but seriously, ladies, how many times have we been with a man who didn’t make sure we finished first?
I realize that’s your husband and all but hey if he wants to bust in a sock
You guys are some b!tches. 
It’s not her fault. He’s relieving himself quite often, which can then make it harder to “get off” again. Something could possibly be lacking in the relationship or just something with himself, which is why he is watching porn more and more. And you can’t blame her when she says “not right now” because of their child or something else. Seems to me they get intimate multiple times a week, so if he can’t wait or respect her when she says no, it’s definitely something on his part!
Okay, here’s my opinion on this mess… Some guys watch porn so damn much, it becomes an addiction. When they are addicted, some can’t get off to anything except porn. Solution is simple… Tell him, if he is going to be on porn hub everyday, then so are you… But you won’t be the one watching!
Can’t turn boners off
I wouldn’t want to walk around with a hard dick .Fuck that .
Does he at least make sure you do? My husband doesn’t always finish, but he always makes sure I do. I completely understand where you’re coming from though, because I don’t feel as adequate when he doesn’t finish, but I ask him about it, and he assures me that I am not the reason, and it is still pleasurable for him. Communication is key for everything.
I hate when I see people bashing certain posts on here. I wanted to be in this group because I (just like many others) thought this was a SAFE place to post questions and comments! Not everyone has someone they can confide in, nor a therapist, or family, etc. If you have nothing POSITIVE to add, then why not just scroll by? What do you gain by attempting to make someone else feel bad for something they posted? And for those of you who do feel the need to be negative, I’m going to pray for you…going to pray that you end up in a similar situation asking the same thing!!!
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Damn I wish my ex had this problem, he could go literally minutes after he finished. Does he take any medication? He might be having a personal problem.
Do u do any thing 4 him b 4 u have sex?
Start doing the same see how he likes it🤣
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Least he isn’t a cheater…
So you’re telling me, that even though he Jerks off frequently and can’t cum during sex, you still have a totally normal sex life and he still actively asks you to have sex with him?
I don’t see the issue. He’s still wanting to have sex with you, he’s still wanting to pleasure you.
Its not like his jerking off is getting in the way of you guys having sex. The only thing it’s changed is his ability to cum. It has nothing to do with you, its HIS body. The only time jerking off becomes an issue is if your partner is actively CHOOSING to masturbate OVER having sex with you. If the frequency of sex and quality of pleasure is still the same then there’s no reason to be upset about him masturbating.
Porn addiction is when it’s interfering with your relationship. Time for him to stop.
I’m sorry… but I’m not really sorry… Why are you making this all about YOU? Maybe this is about him and maybe he’s having issues of his own. You sound like an entitled princess who likes to have ownership over her man’s bodily fluids. How do you know he isn’t frequenting porn town because his libido is off or low? If you were my wife, I’d be aiming for the sock every single time.
Best put the romance back into your life again! Seems like that’s what’s missing! He shouldn’t need porn if your having sex 2-5 x’s a week, is he an porn addict? You need to have a serious talk because this can fester into a divorce!